


Mass Effect 3: A Matter of Pride (Act I)

by ere_the_sun_rises (orphan_account)



Series: A Matter of Change [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Female Character In Command, Grief/Mourning, Mass Effect 3, Multi, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Relationship Issues, Star Trek References, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Unplanned Pregnancy, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-17 15:13:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 86,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ere_the_sun_rises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>What I’ve learned? Well, let’s just say that everyone fighting each other is a whole lot easier than trying to get everyone’s guns trained on the same opponent. Even with the threat of annihilation everyone still manages to be an ass, refuse to forget old grudges…but when you finally do get everyone to cooperate, fighting together seems to erase all the differences, turns us all into brothers and sisters. I’ve also learned that the warm fuzzies don’t come until much, much later- after you pick up all the scorched pieces of an old life and learn, slowly, with the others around you, how to rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and into a new age and day. Before there can be ash, though, there’s rubble. And to make rubble is death, and destruction... War.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Glenn has been cut off from the <i>Normandy</i>, her friends, the Shepards- and Joker- for six months. Now, the Reapers have arrived to begin their harvest, and Glenn and crew must race to unite the galaxy to face them, or else be doomed to the cycle of annihilation that came before. Loyalties, friendships, and bonds all alike will be tested, as the fate of all lives- past, present, and future- are decided once and for all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Story Index

**Author's Note:**

> The index of characters for this installment of "A Matter of Change". All characters, situations, settings, and other items depicted, except those otherwise noted, are property of Bioware.
> 
> BONUS!  
> If anyone wants to see my concept art (I tried, and therefore no one can criticize me), there's some here: [Glenn Main Outfit Concept Art (ME2 & 3) + Asari](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54559654900/concept-art-glenn-mass-effect-oc-mass-effect) and also here: [Glenn Quarian Envirosuit Concept Art + Tattoos](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54560346773/mass-effect-oc-my-stupid-art-mass-effect) and I will post more as I make it. :3


	2. A Quick Jump across the Sound Barrier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I hope you'll enjoy the first installment of "A Matter of Pride"! The chapters are longer in this one (following a "one chapter = a mission" formula; except in some cases- like the Citadel DLC, which I plan to write into this). It all belongs to Bioware, beautiful Bioware! Enjoy, guys.
> 
> For those interested: new art!  
> [Glenn's Battle Uniform, plus related ridiculousness](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54700311406/glenns-battle-uniform-plus-doodles-oh-my-this)  
> [Glenn "Biker" Outfit (alternate casual)](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54700810634/glenn-biker-outfit-alternate-casual-a)  
> [Glenn- catharsis](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54701205040/uh-oh-something-bad-happened-i-realized-after)

This is the story of…

Well. A war. Now immediately your first question will be, who won? Who lost? Perhaps next about which hearts were broken, which hearts were healed, what romances were kindled, rekindled, what was lost.

_Who_ was lost.

Just going by experience; those are the first three things people always want to know about a story. Who wins, who dies, and the god-awful love triangle. Usually the last one above all the others, don’t even get me started…

But. Anyway, a war. _The_ war, some people call it. I remember the old history records talking about a time where The War was the Second World War, the infamous lengthy stretch where grudges from the _First_ World War festered and brought in a new round of everyone fucking killing each other. Whatever; not that I’m here to judge the past- it’s in the past, not like anything can change- still, it flies over many heads that we’re taught history so that we can learn from it.

What I’ve learned? Well, let’s just say that everyone fighting each other is a whole lot easier than trying to get everyone’s guns trained on the same opponent. Even with the threat of annihilation everyone still manages to be an ass, refuse to forget old grudges…but when you finally do get everyone to cooperate, fighting together seems to erase all the differences, turns us all into brothers and sisters (something I learned during my Collector-kicking stint.)

I’ve also learned that the warm fuzzies don’t come until much, much later- after you pick up all the scorched pieces of an old life and learn, slowly, with the others around you, how to rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and into a new age and day.

Before there can be ash, though, there’s rubble. And to make rubble is death, and destruction.

That war bit I mentioned before.

Anyway, you’ll find it all here. The love triangles. (God, the love triangles.) The battles, the lives, the people, the life and times. The great War of said times, our times (best of times, worst of times.) Who won…

Though allow me brief pause.

Do we ever really win wars? Do we capture the flag, put down all our guns and call it done? It’s over, we won? Never mind what we lost.

Or maybe…maybe when these things happen it’s not a matter of win or lose.

It’s a matter of change.

At any rate; it’s done and gone, children are born now beyond the days of the Reaper War, it being only a distant recollection of their parents. But I, Glenn Dantus T’Lassita, as a witness and a participator, do solemnly and hereby swear that everything beyond is true.

Or…at least, as true as it needs to be.

So…

I’ll start with the beginning. Where the war began for me.

When I first learned of the Reapers’ invasion, I was at the Alliance archives on Mars. I was decoding some Prothean cipher, blinking hard through the code that Liara T’Soni had given me via the mind-meld; apparently taken from some Shepard’s head years ago. _Shepards._ Everyone. God, I missed everyone. I missed the _Normandy_. I missed Joker, damn it. Thinking of my flyboy hurt, smug sarcastic look and general fuckery included. I kept his hat on my bedside, waiting still for the day to return it. I wondered what he was doing on Earth- wondered if he was being treated right; if they let him stay with the ship, if he thought of me.

I scowled, and took down another line of prothean. _Catalyst._ The fuck was a catalyst? The scripture I’d been chipping away at all morning mentioned in repeatedly, without ever alluding to what it actually _was-_ kind of like a presentation on a conspiracy theory. _I don’t want to alarm you, but I was right about this thing X amount of years ago. If you don’t follow my advice the government will fail. The economy will be ruined. The terrorists win. Martial law will give way to anarchy. This thing is so bad, really. It’s so bad I haven’t told you what it is yet and you’ve already wasted twenty-five minutes of your life._

I paused when I heard an odd blip in the system. I could’ve sworn I’d heard it before; but less muffled than the sound that I’d just picked up. I looked around, just in time to see an orange wall of oncoming death.

_Oh fuck._

Who the jiggery-pokery flying fuck-faced weasel butt-shagging asshole had _goddamn activated the decontamination protocols,_ I wanted to say. Instead I pulled my omni-tool and punched the quickest overload of my life. The systems fried, smoked, and the orange froze in its tracks as the sprinkler systems came on; but I’d pulled a Thane Krios and was already halfway up into the ventilation systems. I heard an unmistakable clamor below, of armed men pouring in, wanting to know why their trap hadn’t worked. I chanced a quick peek down, and stifled a muttered curse when I saw the logo. _Goddamn Cerberus._

It’s a completely true fact that I had hoped to never see a Cerberus goon again in my life.

I swished out of sight, began crawling through the ventilation systems, following the map hurriedly pulled up on my omni-tool to the facility entrance.

I cussed when I ran into the new occupants at a junction in the shafts- sent a shockwave flying their way and continued on my way, moving hurriedly as I could in the cramped quarters.

I was alerted to their continued pursuit by the ricochet of slugs off the tight walls. I cursed again, flung up a barrier and sped up my clumsy crawl. The idiots were going to get us _all_ killed, pulling shit like this- at last, there was an end in sight, light filtering through the slats of a grate cover. I put on a burst of speed, shockwaved the cover off, and slid down from the vent shaft and onto the floor. The troopers followed after me, hefting their rifles; but I had already gathered power, the world warping around me, and the next thing I knew I was right there, with a huge, sonic _boom;_ and they were being thrown back against the walls. I wiped the slight trickle of blood from my nose, panting, putting a hand to my temple and willing away the oncoming headache. I checked around the hangar, pulled out the Paladin I always kept by my side, and began to quietly stalk my way through to cover.

I heard the elevator rising, a clamor of voices. I slid seamlessly into the shadows, shimmying along behind a stack of crates, narrowing eyes as I listened in.

There was another person coming through the vents, more bullets pinging off of the narrow metal walls. Then there was the sound of the first making it out, and the distinctive warping sound of a singularity. Then, a few shots from an SMG. Groans of dying men, and then the thud of falling bodies. A few more shots.

The party near the door began to move, I could hear them, and the click of a raised gun- then a voice, authoritative but relieved, pushing it down again. “Easy, Lieutenant, she’s with us.”

The vent-escapee turned. “Shepard. Thank the goddess you’re alive!”

I kept the pistol tucked close, moved to the corner of my cover, began to peek out-

And immediately jumped back to avoid a barrage of assault rifle fire.

There was an assortment of shouts as I pulled a biotic-jump, directly in front of the perpetrator. “Didn’t your instructors teach you to IFF before you start pulling your trigger, hotshot?”

The mohawked human tank staggered backward. “ _Jesus_!”

“Yeah, that’s what I said, when, you know, you _shot at me._ ” he staggered, and I lifted him easily into the air, training my pistol. “Who the hell are you? Talk fast.”

“Glenn, hold up,” I turned to the approaching John Shepard, an Avenger assault rifle dangling from one hand and his helmet tucked under the other. “He’s with us, you can put him down.”

I cast the lieutenant a sideways glance. “He could learn to try to give a person a little warning before he starts spraying slugs. If I were short a couple years of assassin training, you’d have a very dead Glenn on your hands.” I dropped the burly hulk of armor onto the ground, and turned to my company. “Now, anyone want to tell me what’s going on here?” I holstered the Paladin, and crossed my arms.

Aside from the trigger-happy lieutenant, I counted three Shepards, one Liara, and another companion with some serious sparky-hair going on (biotic), in blue armor. He had a rifle up, but as he looked around and sized up the others’ unworried appearances, he lowered it as well.

I narrowed my eyes at the second companion, then raised a finger to point at him. “I thought you looked familiar. Hair bump. You…were the nearsighted brat we ran into on Horizon.”

He frowned at me. “I…” he gave a resigned sigh. “Major Kaidan Alenko. That wasn’t the best foot to get off on.” He held out his hand.

I gave it a look, then his face. “Let me make this real clear: my people are very important to me. My people includes John. So if I hear you’ve been _messing_ with my people; I fuck you up. We clear?” I brushed past the extended hand, making my way over to Liara.

“Good to see you made it out, Blue.”

She smiled. “It would take more than a few Cerberus troopers to get rid of me.”

I clasped her hand, nodding, smiling back. We turned together back to the Shepards, Major Alenko, and the human tank. It was she who spoke first: “I saw the reports…they hit Earth hard?”

“Yeah, it was…” Kaidan sighed. “It was hard to leave like that.”

“Kaidan,” Liara said, softly. “I’m sorry.”

I, for one, was frowning. “Who? What hit Earth, what’s going on?”

Charlie looked to me grimly, dark circles showing under her eyes, her cheekbones sticking out perhaps more prominently than ever; her face pale, her ponytail put up hurriedly, messily, strands of hair hanging loose by her face. “The Reapers,” she said. “They’re here.”

I froze, Kahje’s oceans roaring in my ears. “They’re…they’re _here_? But- you just…you blew the Alpha Relay to try and stop them coming-”

“And we did,” said Paxton, hefting what looked like the new Black Widow, with some sort of blue-accents custom paint job, in front of her. “We delayed them six months. But they’ve hit Earth now. Hackett’s sent us here. He says you’ve found a way to stop them.”

I shared a look with Liara. _Oh. That._ I looked back to them, and John had pushed to the front. “I think I know what you’re after,” I said, and began down the hall towards the tram station. The entourage followed, the trigger-happy lieutenant saying “Hallelujah, some answers, finally.”

“So what’s this, a weapon?” Paxton asked.

“We’re not sure,” I said, looking back over my shoulder.

I heard the sound of halting footsteps. “That’s it? A hunch?” John sounded fairly ticked off, which brought Liara and I to a halt as we looked back at our followers.

“Whatever it is, it’s better than we had ten minutes ago,” said Charlie, testily.

“Figures Hackett would send us out here on a half-chance,” he went on, unfazed; clearly bitter. “Face it, he screwed us over, him _and_ the Alliance.”

“ _Focus_ , John,” Charlie barked, crackling with biotics. “Focus on the _real_ enemies. Focus on the Reapers.”

“Whatever,” John muttered, shaking his head with a deep scowl.

Charlie looked back to the human tank. “James,” she said, “Head out to the shuttle and try to rendezvous with the _Normandy_. We might have to bug out.” Mohawk nodded, took off back towards the elevator with a “Commander.”

The others began after Liara, even after he remained, and leaned on the rail separating the windows overlooking the tramway. I stood beside him, assumed the same pose.

“You sound bitter,” I said. He shook his head, looking dark, then turned sideways to appraise me.

“There’s not a lot of time to catch up,” he said, apologetic. “How have you been?”

I sighed, shrugging, recalling the long months and the time I’d spent staring at the black-and-white SR2 cap that I’d never gotten to return. “I’m…I’m managing. Just…all that time, helping Liara, I thought I would get to be back on the _Normandy_ soon. Then the news comes up…with the Alpha Relay, and your detainment…how was that?”

John blew an irritated sigh. “Don’t get me started…we blew that Relay so the Reapers couldn’t get in. A batarian colony got caught in all that- we were stuck in Vancouver for six months to keep the Hegemony happy. What-the-fuck-ever. Wouldn’t have had to deal with all that shit if people would just take this threat seriously.”

“They’ll have to now,” I said.

“Yeah,” he groused. “Meanwhile; six months trapped at Alliance command- we got quarters eventually; the first few weeks we were in a three by five cell with rations at 1500 calories a day. Typical for a desk jockey. Starvation for a biotic.” He shook his head, brows furrowing in a still-burning anger. “My sisters looked like wraiths. It wasn’t until I blew the bars out with a shockwave that someone reported it to one of the admirals and they finally fixed it. Still fitted me with an inhibitor for it.” he tapped the base of his neck. “Apparently Hackett was pissed over the whole thing. Anderson blew a fuse; I could hear it all the way down the hall. Anyway, that was when we got moved to better quarters, given proper meals, allowed to take walks on a guard. You know.” He sighed, his typical dragon breath, and shook his head with the dark furrow in his brow. “Anderson…stayed back. To lead a resistance, fight the Reapers on our home turf…now we’re out, apparently, to garner support.” He sighed. “The Council hasn’t helped us before; don’t see why they should start now.”

“Be a hell of a short war if they don’t,” I said, and he chuckled darkly. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.” He reached into the depths of his armor, pulled out his tags, stamped with the characteristic N7. “Reinstated,” he murmured, “Lieutenant Commander Shepard.” He dropped them back into the depths of the breastplate.

I looked down the hall. “And Alenko?”

John shook his head. “Complicated.”

I nodded, wordlessly. My hands worked at each other. “The crew…any of them still around?”

John shook his head. “We let them go; before reporting to the hearing. We weren’t letting the Alliance get hands on them.”

“They’re okay?”

“Last I heard.”

I nodded, barely, half-dreading the answer to my next question (considered not asking it.) “And Joker?”

“Joker’s still aboard,” said John.

I breathed a soft sigh of relief, hands working again. _I’ll see you again, baby, please, just a little longer._ “Good.”

“So is EDI, if it matters.”

I nodded, a few times. “Good. Good.”

“Yeah.” He looked me over. “But enough about me. You?” I gave him a sideways glance, cocking my eyebrow, lip quirking. “You’re looking damned good. I’m sure the new look gets other people’s blood boiling.” The both of us chuckled. I looked at him, sincerely. “It’s good to have you back. World’s going to hell. Couldn’t think of anyone else to paint faces and run screaming at it with, brother.”

He groaned, and followed me down the hall. “Please. Last thing I need is another goddamned sister.”

_It began with us, so long ago; and as it began so long ago, so begins the end._ Fitting for us to talk, I thought, and somehow I had a feeling that he was thinking the same.

We hurried after the others to catch up, out to the first security checkpoint. I peeked towards the airlock into the plaza and frowned, eyes then widening and narrowing once more.

“That airlock shouldn’t be open.”

John tracked toward the door. “Looks like it was forced.”

“It can only be opened from the other side,” Liara said, taking to the monitors. I found my weapons locker with a satisfied hiss, punching my code and pulling out my other Paladin, the Wraith, and the thigh holsters for the twin pistols. Up ahead, Alenko switched on the flashlight to his rifle, peeked out ahead of us, and led the way in. I tugged on my oxygen-providing recon hood, flicked on the Wraith and followed.

“Bodies,” whispered Alenko, not far ahead.

“They must’ve vented the air from the room while the people were still in there,” murmured Paxton. “They died trying to claw their way out.”

“This is brutal,” whispered Liara, “Even by Cerberus standards.”

_Rosecrans,_ I thought, passing one lifeless corpse. _Ryker. Hall. Underwood._ Up ahead, the windows showed light- and Cerberus troopers _._ “ _Flashlights,_ ” Charlie hissed, and we flipped them all off. I held my Wraith tight in, felt the gathering energy around me- at the last moment I shot out the windows. Then, I charged.

There was the sonic boom and the smell of ozone that announced my arrival, the cries of the troopers being thrown back against the walls. I hefted my shotgun, but the squad commander knocked it out of my hands and pulled out some sort of charged Taser-stick: I didn’t bother to stick around and find out the voltage, instead flipped into a backward handspring that struck the device out of his hands and sent it skittering around the floor, moving with the motion and locking my thighs around the next trooper’s neck, twisting with his downward momentum until I heard a wet _crunch._ Gunfire from the squad leader followed me as I dove along the floor, snatched my shotgun and rolled up to my feet to deliver a killing punch to the neck of another hapless goon. I whirled around, put a damning slug through the eye-slat of a shield-bearing soldier, at last moving again like a deadly shadow to put the leader into a headlock, and blast his guts out at point-blank.

As the others regrouped- Liara was quite unfazed; business as usual, after all. The Shepards looked somewhat impressed, but Alenko was first struggling with the concept of _close your mouth before an insect finds its way in._

“That’s a neat trick,” said John, as Liara hurried to the security terminal. “The…biotic thing you opened with. I haven’t ever seen that before.”

“Yeah,” I said, rubbing slightly at the base of my neck. “Just…something I picked up on my travels.”

He nodded, and followed the others’ suit to the station. “First we’ll have to pressurize the room.” As she did so, I pulled the hood off and stuffed it again into my pocket. She shook her head as she removed her breather mask. “Cerberus has locked off the tramway.” Alenko moved forward, eyed the terminal, said, “There’s a vid of what happened here.”

Liara fired it up, and we stood in relative silence, watching. A helmeted Alliance soldier sat at the terminal. “Security checkpoint three? All our systems just went dark over here…is this a power issue? Are we…?” another frame moved onscreen, in typical security-vid lag fashion- a sickeningly familiar frame. “Doctor? I was just…” the soldier was cut off as the woman pulled a pistol and calmly put a bullet in his head. Blood splattered the cameras as he slumped forward.

“That Eva bitch,” I hissed, as I stepped back. “I should have known.”

John stepped back. “Guess we know how Cerberus got in.”

“Eva?” Charlie questioned.

“Eva Coré,” said Liara. “She arrived a few days ago. I should have realized it from the start…I was so focused, trying to find a way to stop the Reapers-”

“Stopping the Reapers is the only thing any one of us should be focused on,” I said, and Paxton nodded affirmatively. Charlie moved off with Alenko to scout other ways across, and Liara sighed as she rubbed at the bridge of her nose.

“I…I don’t know how any of you do it,” she said, at last. “You’ve managed to stay calm in the worst of situations.”

Paxton and I exchanged a look. “In times like those…” she began. “…I just think about what I’d lose if I fail.”

John’s eyes lifted to the major’s back, just a few yards away. Paxton’s thumb traced a contour of her rifle- for the first time I recognized the blue, triggered a _just like old times_ in my memories. My own mind, as it was, went to a sideways smirk and an ever-present hat. My fingers flexed slowly, clenched, unclenched with my heart.

Liara folded her arms. “That’s a terrible burden. I know I shouldn’t think like this…” she turned away, bracing on the desk, shaking her head. “…what if these are our last days, and we waste them scurrying around trying to solve a problem we can’t fix?”

I put my hand on her shoulder, and she raised her head to look up at us. My hand slid down her arm, where she took it and squeezed back. “We’ll stop them, Liara,” I said, putting on my best brave face, choking down the fears she’d voiced, that I couldn’t let see the light. “Together.”

Charlie turned back to us. “There’s construction up here on the roof. We can get out this way.”

“Coming.” We began to follow her and Alenko out to the roof, tugging on helmets, hoods, masks.

“That storm’s getting close,” said Alenko, over the howling of the approaching red wall. Charlie pressed her earpiece, and led the way down the rooftops. “James, do you copy? What’s your location?” There was silence as she listened- repeated, “I didn’t read you. Repeat?” Another short pause, then a bitten-off “Damn it!” She turned back to us, said, “All right, people, we’re on our own now.” The construction scaffolding at last led us to the tram station. We filed in, swinging down inside. There were the sounds of men, and we grabbed cover as the Cerberus troopers ran out into the open.

“Fuckin’ idiots,” I muttered. I’d known Cerberus for incompetent fools, but running into open air? They fell quickly; a good charge snapping a few spines and the rest going easily to my shotgun.

“Does she do that?” Alenko whispered, gesturing helplessly at John, as they followed me inside the cleared space. “…all the time?”

“Trained by drell assassins,” said John, back, and Alenko simply stood there looking vaguely confused and somewhat afraid, near-jumping out of his skin when he noticed my knowing stare. _Oh shit, she’s all-hearing too._ I tossed him an _I’m-watching-you,_ then followed Liara as she went to the terminal to summon the tram. She shook her head. “It’s locked out.”

“You can’t get us a cab?” Charlie asked.

“The Archives are on a separate network,” Liara replied, “We’re completely locked out.”

“Maybe.” We turned to Alenko, as he examined a dead Cerberus grunt’s helmet. “If we could find a short-range transmitter; helmet-to-helmet. Then we patch in, convince them on our side, tell them the opposition is all taken care of…”

John straightened up. He followed the major out, and the two ladies of the Shepard family exchanged looks with Liara. “The major has become quite capable.”

“I was just noticing the same thing,” Charlie said.

“Think they’re finding that transmitter?” Paxton spoke, her eyebrow quirking along with the corner of her mouth (I knew this look; it was the look that made Garrus miss his shots.) As if to answer, a soft, slightly-exasperated “Kaidan…” sounded from beyond the door, followed by an indignant, “Don’t _Kaidan_ me, this is business!”

I stifled a giggle, as did the others, but a few minutes later John poked his head back in and motioned us forward. Alenko was kneeling before one corpse I’d thrown back, fiddling with the latches to his helmet. “If I can just…” the mechanism hissed as it released, and the major lifted it, only to drop it like it was on fire and stagger backwards, barely making it to his feet. “Oh my God,” he said, lowly, “He looks like a husk.”

I knelt before the body, examining the glowing eyes and cybernetic slashes. “Almost,” I said, narrowing my eyes and appraising it with a tilted head. “They’ve done something to him.” I fished in the helmet for the transmitter, ignoring behind me as the lovers’ quarrel resumed. I stepped away, pressed the piece, and cleared my throat. “Hello? This is…Delta Team. Anyone there?”

A voice came in from the other line: “ _Where the hell have you been?_ ”

“Holding the tram station. All hostiles terminated. Can you send in a car to pick us up?”

“Roger, Delta. On our way over.”

I dropped the transmitter, and looked to the others. “Think we have them fooled?” Paxton inquired.

“We’ll know soon enough,” I said, then gestured down below. “They’ll be here soon, if we set up a position down there, we can flank them when they get in.”

“Good idea,” Charlie hefted her assault rifle. “Kaidan, with me.” the two hurried down to the barricade. I crouched behind a half-wall, readying my pistols.

The tram pulled in. Sets of feet began to move out; one voice directed; “All right, spread out.” I peered around to Charlie and Alenko. Charlie held up three fingers, two, then one.

She and the major popped up and sent a combined warp at the enemy, which combined loudly with Liara’s singularity; the air distorting intensely. I didn’t hesitate to charge and detonate the combination, clearing the area and dropping me directly into the tram car. The others hurried in after me as I beckoned them forward.

“They really didn’t want us making it to the station,” Alenko remarked, as I set us in forward motion.

Liara nodded affirmatively. “Which confirms my suspicions about the value of the information stored there.”

“What _did_ you find here, Liara?” Charlie asked, and I tuned out her descriptions of the artifacts and walked towards the edge of the tram car. My eyes narrowed as I spotted another incoming, and I blinked suddenly when I heard a series of warning blips. “ _GET DOWN_!” I barked.

Seconds later, an explosion rocked the car, bringing us to a complete halt that sent us skidding across the floor. The second tram car pulled up to us with Cerberus troopers and guns aloft. Charlie, the first to stand, blew three of them clean out the side with a warp, accented by a very irate growl. One of the remaining blurted, “Holy shit, that’s _Shepard,_ ” (famous last words.) When all of the troopers had been taken care of we hopped to the second tram, and I punched the console to ride in the rest of the way. “Coré’s probably already made it into the Archives,” I muttered, scowling at the approaching doors. “I’m not picking up any thermal signatures, though. Be on your guard.”

The tram pulled in, and we disembarked with our weapons aloft. I punched my access key to the Archives, scanned my handprint and then disengaged my visor to allow a retinal scan. The doors hissed open, and we all stepped warily inside.

The Archives were silent; save for the soft hum of the Prothean data troves, the green feeds flickering through the lines like lifeblood through veins. I shook my head, whispered, “Not reading any hostiles.”

Charlie nodded, looked to Alenko, and gestured around the circle. He nodded, lifted his rifle, and began to patrol the walkway. Liara moved forward, and began to activate the consoles and bring up the files we’d retrieved from the encrypted and translated scriptures. I stepped up behind her. “This is what we found,” I murmured, giving her a brief sideways look. “The harvest of the Protheans took centuries. While that was happening, they were looking for ways to stop it. What we found suggests that they came up with the plans to build this weapon,” I brought up the hologram, and pointed it out. “In the end, though, they ran out of time and resources to follow through with it.” I stepped back, allowed Shepards three to observe it, and turned my head when I heard the flickering of a QEC starting.

My heart simultaneously dropped into my feet and jumped into my throat when I spotted the face in the hologram. He took a long drag on a cigarette, one hand behind his back. “Shepard.”

Liara whirled and pointed her SMG at the hologram, for what good it did. My fists clenched. John and Paxton adopted dark scowls as they turned, and Charlie’s eyes narrowed with her snarl. “Illusive Man.”

The Illusive Man gestured about the place. “The Protheans left us these data troves, this gift of information…and we’ve squandered it. How long has the Alliance known about the Archives?”

“Why are your people here?” Charlie said, “What do you want?”

He looked about the halls. “What I’ve always wanted,” he said. “An end to the Reaper threat.”

“Then you don’t have to fight me,” said Charlie, “We’re after the same thing. Give me your resources, and I’ll stop them.”

The Illusive Man regarded her judgmentally, and pulled again on his cigarette. “You’d do better than most. But in the end; you would fail. And besides…I don’t want to destroy them.” He tapped out the cigarette butt. “I want to control them.”

John and Paxton shared a look. Liara gaped. Charlie shook her head. “ _Control_ them? Listen to what you’re saying. The Reapers are here, and you’re talking about controlling them? If we don’t destroy them, _they_ will destroy _us_.”

“You’ve always been nearsighted, Shepard,” the Illusive Man sighed. “Your destruction of the Collector Base proved that. The Reapers represent an unimaginable power. Think of what humanity could do, if we were to harness that power.”

Charlie shook her head, stepping back with a face of clear disgust. “You’re delusional.”

“Our alliance was a brief one,” he said, sounding like a politician who was attempting to appear regretful. “Profitable on all counts. But it’s over now, Shepard; you and I are finished.”

“I made that call six months ago,” she snarled.

The Illusive Man regarded her coolly. “This is the last time I’ll warn you. _Don’t_ interfere with my plans.” Liara spoke suddenly, startled, from the terminal: “The data, it’s…it’s disappearing.” The Illusive Man smiled, predatorily, and then the link flickered and died. “ _Son of a bitch_ ,” I snapped, and hurried up to the terminal. “It’s some kind of local interference; he couldn’t get to it from afar…” I raised my head at a faint protest from Alenko, at the side of the walkway. “Step _away_ from the console.” There was a moment, and then suddenly the terminals cut out to static, the green feeds dying away. In the next second a body raced by in a blur, and Alenko called, “Stop her, she’s got the data!”

“She’s faster than she looks!” Liara fretted, as she whipped by us. _What the hell kind of woman moves that fast?_ I thought, and in the next second, _The kind with Cerberus upgrades._ “I’m on it!” I barked, and biotic-jumped after her.

For what she had in speed she lacked in the ability to break the sound barrier, and I kept good distance with her, listening to Charlie’s yelling over the channel: “ _Shuttle! Shuttle, do you read me? James! Normandy! Anyone?_ ” I zipped after Eva as she climbed up onto the roof, and raced across for a Cerberus shuttle that swooped in to pick her up. “She’s getting away!” I screamed, over my earpiece. The shuttle began to zoom away, but out of nowhere a blue blur shot in from the side and rammed into the vehicle, taking them both to the roof. The Cerberus shuttle landed with an almighty crash and burst into flames, as the Alliance-blue Kodiak skidded into an unsteady halt.

I turned to see the others behind me. Charlie looked across to the burning shuttle as Alenko helped Liara up- appeared to have been knocked back by the concussive force of the landing. “We need that data,” she said, moving unsteadily forward. Charlie looked back to the shuttle, where human-tank was staggering his way out, regaining his bearings. I heard a sudden, hoarse, “ _Goddess.”_ I whipped back around to see as Eva, charred and…sparking? She rose from the fire, and stepped forward in an aggressive pose, zeroing straight in on Alenko and the indisposed Liara. The major pushed Liara away and drew his rifle, which the Eva-bot knocked from his hands and sent skittering to the sides. He went in to hit her and she backhanded him (I saw blood go flying, and why not, it was a metal hand); then grabbed him about the throat and held him struggling up in the air. John moved in with a pistol pointed straight between her eyes, fury burning through every line of his body, every contour of his face. “Put. Him. _Down_ ,” he growled.

The Eva-bot ignored him, and pressed her earpiece. “Orders?” she said. Someone answered her on the other line, because she whirled around and slammed the major’s body against the side of the shuttle. “ _Kaidan_!” John screamed, and for a moment I was reliving that message in the Kodiak, telling me the Collectors had attacked our ship, our crew had been taken, and for one horrible moment I’d thought they had my helmsman in a pod, subject to whatever torture was inflicted on the captured humans. The Eva-bot whacked Alenko a few more times, then dropped his lifeless form to the ground and ran for John. For a moment I saw his finger squeeze on the trigger, but then he threw the gun aside, ran forward, and slammed a charged fist straight into her gut. The incinerating omni-blade did its job- I saw the tech sparking out, the metal singing and burning, the orange visor flickering out and the mech going lifeless. There was a hum on the horizon, and I turned my head up as the _Normandy_ blocked out the sun, coming in and opening her shuttle bay doors to us.

“Bring that thing with!” Charlie directed, barking out orders like I knew how, and as I turned I saw a huge metal _thing_ descending into the atmosphere, followed by another and another- the Reapers had come for Mars. James followed her orders, scooping up the mech and carrying it up to the ramp, as Paxton helped Liara along. John ran to the major’s prone form and rose slowly into a fireman’s carry, stepping up the ramp with the lifeless body of Kaidan Alenko over his back. I followed in his stead, and Charlie at last brought up the rear, last to leave the battlefield. The bay doors closed behind us, as the Reapers descended into the dust of the Red Planet, unchallenged.

_No more,_ I promised, as my fists closed and my brows furrowed angrily. _Next time, I won’t be running._


	3. A Partial Study on the Varying Effects of Desperation on Differentiating Species (Ranging, Altogether, from Immediate Action to a Rather Illogical Response), Wherein It Becomes Apparent that a Rather Obvious Open Circuit Exists Somewhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers: Oh, you're gonna hate me for this one. It belongs to Bioware, though, and since they already own your pain it shouldn't be too much of a stretch. Enjoy! (or don't. :I )

John set Kaidan down on one of the tables in the med bay. He leaned over the major’s dirty, lifeless form, eyes pulled to a perfect thousand-yard stare. Charlie watched them both, brows knitted in consternation. Paxton took her decisively by the shoulders, said very directly, “We need to get to the Citadel. Kaidan needs medical attention.”

“I know.” Charlie looked to the door as James arrived with the mech, dropping it onto another of the tables. Charlie looked it over with mild disgust, and directed Liara, “See what you and EDI can get from that thing.”

“ _Shepard, Admiral Hackett is waiting for your report over the QEC,”_ chimed the familiar, soothing female voice.

“I’m on it,” she said, setting her helmet down and wiping tiredly at her brow. “Thanks, EDI.”

“ _You are welcome, Shepard._ ”

Charlie left and headed for the elevator, Paxton went to John, stood over Kaidan with him, put her hand on his shoulder. Liara was studying the mech, and I crossed my arms before letting a deep breath loose, stepping out towards the mess. “ _And Glenn_ ,” said EDI, as I neared the door.

I paused. “Yes, EDI?”

“ _Welcome aboard.”_

I smiled. “Anchors aweigh.”

“ _Indubitably._ ”

As horrible as the circumstances were, I couldn’t help smiling. I was finally back on the _Normandy._ It appeared the Alliance had done some renovation and retrofitting, and there was a new crew working the stations, but it was the ship I knew, the place that had become of my home. I wondered what had become of my old room off the CIC.

The lift was the same, at least. I punched the button to _level 2_ and waited as it took me up.

Minus the new staff, the CIC looked the same. I peeled off to the left, and found the door to my old quarters; board was green and the lock was open. Tentatively, I pushed the console. The door popped open for me. I strode inside, looked around.

The flickering monitors, with their vid feeds, had been shuffled from all along the wall to being wrapped around the corner. That left one half open- a small nook, where a bed (an upgrade from the cot I’d had) was tucked in along with a small bedside table, equipped with a lamp. There was a trunk at the foot of the bed, too, which upon examination, proved to be empty. I cocked my head, wondering who’d make a living space out of the surveillance room. All it was missing was a cozy rug and a fireplace. A few shelves on the wall sat empty, ready for books or other things, perhaps. I had a sudden thought; recalling the shelves back in my lodgings on Mars, where Jeff’s hat was probably still sitting.

_Shit. What am I going to tell him?_ I turned back to the door, envisioning the CIC beyond and the walkway to the bridge. Some nervous chord struck in me- after all, we hadn’t spoken for six months; barely a kiss and a brief goodbye. For a moment, I was back at the beginning of our relationship, worrying, thinking maybe I shouldn’t disturb him. In the end, wanting desperately to see him won out over everything else, and I picked my ass up and walked down the CIC, down the bridge, up to where he was flying the ship- a door separated it from the rest of the CIC now, and as I punched the console and walked inside, he turned around right away, alerted by the characteristic hiss of air as the doors opened. The corner of my mouth ticked when I remembered his incessant complaining after Charlie had walked up to the bridge and stood behind us for thirty seconds (we were completely unawares, being then in the middle of a particularly excellent heavy petting session.) Afterwards, whenever someone came up to the bridge, he’d rant about getting a mirror put in so he could tell when someone was standing behind him.

Then I returned to the present- he was right there, in his chair, dressed now in Alliance regs, sporting a new cap blazoned with ‘SR2’- in navy blue, with the letters stitched in gold. He had hands tightly gripping the edges of the armrests, his brows were knitted- I could _just_ see the crinkle beneath the brim of his cap- his eyes, green just like I remembered, fixed on me like he couldn’t quite believe I was standing there.

I smiled a little, almost weakly, said softly, “Hey.”

His gaze flicked down to the floor, a little to my right. “Hey,” he repeated, in a soft, conflicted tone, his frown growing deeper. My own brows knitted in question, and I folded my arms. “Six months, and all you can say is ‘hey’?” he looked back up to me now, mouth downturned into a distinct scowl.

I sighed, closing my eyes. “I’m sorry, Jeff, I’ve just…I’ve had to process a lot in the last few hours- first Cerberus showed up, and they tried to kill me; then I ran into everyone and I figured out the Reapers are attacking Earth: then we have a run-in with the Illusive Man and his fembot did its worst and tried to kill your major.” I massaged my temples. “I…seeing you is the best thing that’s happened to me all day.”

He lifted his hands from the armrests, sat back in his chair, slowly started turning back to the console. “Oh. Well. That excuses everything, then. Sorry for that, like no one’s ever heard the ‘long day’ line before.”

I frowned now. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Look, if I was cramping your style, all you had to do was tell me!” he swiveled the chair around, snapped at me with a look of pure contempt curling his lip.

My pulse started quickening in distress. I fumbled in the dark for some cause to this reception, but I snatched at air and came up empty-handed. “Jeff…what are you-?”

“Look, yeah, suicide mission, we were gonna die, I get it,” he spat at me, bitterly. “You went for the guy that couldn’t say no to you when you suggested one last fling before we all got stuffed into tubes and liquefied. And maybe it carried over into after, maybe it worked as long as we were on the ship.” He waved a hand at me, turned the chair to the side and cast him into profile. “But as soon as you got back into the world, you had options again, right? I thought…I thought maybe you were still interested. I sent you a few messages, while I was on Earth, thought maybe…” he trailed off, sighed, shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “You didn’t reply back to any of them, that’s…all the answer I need, really. Just…I get it.” he turned back to his console.

My brows pulled together and my lips parted in confusion, the instinctive reply _what messages?_ turning up first; followed by a more deductive _what do you mean you sent me messages; I wrote you, you never replied to me, I thought that the Alliance had locked you out._ “I…I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, Jeff, I-”

“Come on, you don’t have to play dumb with me,” he snapped, turning his chair back to me, gesturing. “Everyone knows. That’s just your way; you sleep with everything that breathes.”

The breath was driven out of me like a knife straight to the back (and I’d heard that sound before, never had I felt it, a crippling blow that forced everything out and filled the space with a numb shock.) I stood there staring at him with my mouth hanging open; he held my eyes, his still furiously creased, then he looked away, turned away, went back to the console. I stood there still, frozen. His hands didn’t go to the interface.

I thought to speak, to say something else, to defend myself, to try to unravel all the knots, find the open circuit, find where we weren’t getting through to each other- when I sucked in a breath, it came in painful, shaky, warning of tears.

I didn’t try to speak. I wasn’t brave, I wasn’t strong. I ran. Walked, but still, I ran, turned my back on him and his bright orange holograms, walked as quickly as my feet would carry me- down to the CIC, into the surveillance room, trying to suck in the sobs, hold them until later, later, _later not now everyone is watching._ I punched the lock when I got inside, stopped, collapsed against the doors and slid down to the tile, bracing my forehead on my knees and crying. I encircled my head with my arms, blocked out the world around me and retreated to my little dark world, like I used to when I was young and the world became too much. _To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock, in a pestilential prison with a lifelong lock, awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper off a big black block._

It wasn’t the most comforting of phrases, that- but it presented anger, flooded me with its powerful, noxious fumes, drowned out my sorrow in fury.

“ _Glenn, Commander Shepard has requested your presence in the war room. Admiral Hackett is on the QEC and wishes to speak with you.”_

I raised my head slowly, sniffled, swallowed the rest of my tears.

Then I punched the wall. My knuckles bled, and I gritted my teeth. “Screw you, Jeff Moreau,” I muttered, got to my feet and wiped roughly at my cheeks to clear the mascara that had run there. I departed onto the CIC again, didn’t even spare any glances as I crossed into the doors that led to the war room. I moved through the circle and the holographic display, following the hallway down to the comms office. I stepped past Charlie with a nod, coming into the view of the QEC and standing habitually straighter, folding my hands behind my back.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Talk, actually, is preferable.” I realized a moment too late that might’ve been his attempt at humor (with his stern leader face, it was hard to tell) - and concluded, eventually, that if he cracked a joke I’d probably know.

_Probably_.

“You were a great help in finding the Crucible blueprints with Dr. T’Soni,” he said. “And an even better operative of stealth.”

I cocked my head, frowning through an unusual confusion. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“When we scoured the databanks of the _Normandy_ following its repossession, along with its records of crew and altercations, we found you, of course, among them. Everything that we would have wanted to know was there- your name, all your background information, your strengths- and your weaknesses.” His eyes narrowed and his lips tightened, tugging at the scar. “Cerberus was very thorough.”

“One of their few accomplishments,” I acknowledged, readjusting so that my arms folded, and my hips set off at a cant. “With such extensive resources they shouldn’t have such a spotty project record; but what they track for in supply they pitfall in protocols. Their people don’t know how to cooperate, quite frankly, and the organization’s name becomes quite applicable- three heads, all pulling in opposite directions.” I briefly paused, unfolded, and stood firmly behind the rail once more. “But that’s not what you called me up for, is it?”

“No indeed.” Hackett resumed parade rest, and gave me a scrutinizing once-over. “With all of the data we had on you, I’m embarrassed on behalf of our intelligence to report that we never once suspected it was you who was assisting Dr. T’Soni. Not until Commander Shepard reported your presence on the _Normandy_ were we ever aware that you were an accessory in this operation. _I’d_ like to know how you pulled that.”

I stared him down for a good few minutes, then I crossed my arms and cocked my head. “Due respect, sir-” _kiss my ass, sir_ “-I’m under no oath nor obligation to disclose my operations to you, or the Systems Alliance. I don’t see what’s so important about one missing variable in the middle of a war like this- Earth is burning while the Reapers attack; your departments are undoubtedly strained trying to deal with it. What I fail to see is why you’re concerned.”

“I’m _concerned_ because you slipped our systems. When there’s a hull breach, you patch it,” the grizzled old war hound replied, “And before you ask why you should, take a minute to think about the only thing standing between you and a Reaper armada.” His eyes glinted at me, like steel.

Impassive, I blinked, shifted posture, just barely into the zone of flippant that would piss off any krogan. “And before _you_ start making demands of me, sir, an independent party not attached to your organization and therefore not bound by your regulations; allow me to remind you of the conditions that my previous comrades were contained in for making a sacrifice that was clearly within the boundaries of their oath of service. Sacrifice for the greater good.” I crossed my arms again. “They were kept in a containment cell less than fifteen square feet and fed a daily ration unsuitable for their increased caloric needs; from a personal recount, I understand that they were close to starving. I don’t even have a remote desire to know about the sanitation of their cell during such time, septic presence or lack thereof, and possible inhumanities afforded them by their _fellow officers_.” I narrowed my eyes, clipped, “ _Due respect, sir._ If you didn’t have command over humanity’s fleets, I’d tell you to fuck off. Possibly even come after you. Don’t start on me with the Reaper presence. I helped them destroy the Collector Base to try and prolong the time before the inevitable invasion. They did it again at the Alpha Relay, and you and your Alliance rewarded them with a knife in the back. I figured the Illusive Man was an agent of your devil, but it appears he might not be so alone in the galaxy.” I stepped back, allowed half a second to quell my rising anger, then returned to my spot with re-folded arms. “The Reapers are _not_ a viable guilt-trip; citing them’s not gonna make me spill my guts. Nice try.”

The admiral spent another few moments sizing me up before he spoke. His reply, though carefully worded, was the exact opposite of what I needed to hear. “The containment conditions of the commander and her siblings were not ordered by those in command. It was the act of a few disgruntled personnel; who were apprehended accordingly.”

“Riddle me this, Admiral, if I replayed you a conversation with our old buddy the Illusive Asshole wherein he answered the commander’s concerns about the project that tortured a little girl to measure biotic potential in humans, _fairly_ parallel to your reply just now, how would you react to that?” I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter who did it. It happened. That’s what I’m pissed to Styx about. You could’ve caught that faster than noticing John Shepard ripping the bars off their hinges and wondering what that was all about. And you could’ve stood to lay off the inhibitor; too, that’s just adding insult to injury. I were him; I were _any_ of them, there wouldn’t have been a snowball’s chance in Hades of me accepting your little reinstatement. You’re damned lucky they trust your man Anderson so much, or you’d be flying without your galactic icon.”

The admiral’s cheek was twitching slightly (in Hackett-ese, that was probably guts-for-garters mode). “Not reprimanding the Shepards would’ve risked diplomatic incident with the Hegemony.”

“Really? Have you read the news, _sir_? The Fall of Khar’shan is all over the fuckin’ extranet. The Hegemony doesn’t _exist_ anymore. And, recent developments aside, if you had stood behind your best damn officers, _backed them up,_ given _benefit of the doubt_ and, the famed Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams’ god forbid, _believed_ them, for a _second, maybe_ the public would’ve actually stopped to consider this threat as an actual threat. _Never_ underestimate the power of a collective force backing up certain claims. _Now_ , your homeworld is burning. Its people are being harvested and turned into the enemy’s own footsoldiers; and the sad truth is that you had ways to prevent it, ways that were missed by a sad and simple oversight.” I crossed my arms. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, _sir._ You’re the admiral, _sir._ You’re the one in charge of the whole damn fleet, _sir,_ not the psychotic bitch from Omega who made her living uncovering cheating boyfriends. Textbook narcissism and nonsensical human societal bullshit aside, the fact remains that _I’m better than you_. And I know you know that- so why are you the admiral of the Alliance fleet, and why have I spent my life running?” I leaned forward on the rail, putting us (holographically) nose-to-nose. “Because you’ve been goddamned lucky. When your time came; you got to prove yourself on the field of battle during the First Contact War. I’ve pulled off countless victories- not ones that your species can appreciate, though. Let me spell it out- if I were an asari, I’d have my own merc group. Salarian; I’d be in STG’s top five. If I were a quarian I’d be an admiral, and the turians would have made _me_ their goddamn primarch by now. Krogan? Forget it. I’d be their god. Point is; by unlucky chance, shit for father, and _weird_ fucking science, I belong to a species where expectations are inconsistent and _nothing_ is good enough, unless you do _just_ the right thing at _just_ the right moment.” I blinked, but I kept up my stare at this admiral’s hardened command face. “There are a thousand people with the right stuff that will _never_ get realized because that moment _never_ comes for them. You might be a good admiral, but you’re only an _admiral_ in the first place because _you. Got. Lucky._ ” I stepped back. “Sir.”

Hackett must have surmised something from my little tirade, because he put his hand on his chin, scowled deep thoughts, and didn’t speak for a while. When he finally did, I have to admit I wasn’t expecting what came. “There were…other ways we could’ve handled this. That, I agree with. In the future I’d like to catch things before they become lectures in hindsight. You can’t have my job, Glenn, but you can have _a_ job.”

“What kind of job?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“Officer’s rank and pay,” he said. “I’d want you as consulting body aboard the _Normandy_ \- coordinating its operations with those of the fleets at large. It’s a lot of diplomacy.”

“Right. Paperwork and white-collar shit.”

“However,” he said, “You would still be a member of Commander Shepard’s personal staff as well.” He straightened into another parade rest. “Is that satisfactory?”

I thought hard. _Squaddie by day, all-powerful bitch by night. Wielding both types of power, concussive and constrictive. I like it._

“Very well,” I said, standing straighter, “I accept.” I paused, lip twitching once, and asked, “Do I have to wear the regs, or can I just get the officer’s bars tattooed on?”

Hackett was as impassive as ever, but I thought I could see a glint of mirth in his eye. “What you wear shipside is the business of its commanding officer. I’ll have suitable field attire manufactured.”

I snapped my best salute, said as I lowered it, “Loud and clear, sir. Send me my first job and I’ll get to work.”

He nodded once. Taking it as my cue to leave, I backed off and started to walk back towards the war room. His voice brought me to a halt. “Glenn- one more thing.”

I paused, looking back. “Yeah?”

“You’re now an accessory of the Alliance Navy; and subject to its regulations,” he said, pointedly, but not cruelly. “Your prior…” he paused, searching for the right word, “… _association_ , with Flight Lieutenant Moreau, and all similar activity, is strictly forbidden by the Officers’ Code 3A-9, section 12-J.” his brows furrowed, eyes zeroing in on me like a hawk. “I trust that won’t be a problem.”

For a moment I didn’t answer.

_Come on, you don’t have to play dumb with me. Everyone knows. That’s just your way; you sleep with everything that breathes._

I shook my head. “No, sir. No, it won’t.”

“Good,” he said. “Hackett out.” The hologram dissolved, and I was alone.

I turned back, and Charlie was frowning at me. “Something happen?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, tersely, moving along, back out towards the CIC. Charlie caught me by the elbow, halting me. I turned to face her. “Hey. Slow down a moment. We haven’t gotten the chance to talk since you got back. We’ve got a bit before we get to the Citadel.”

I relented, with a soft sigh, sat on something and folded my arms with a shrug. “What do you want to talk about?” She shrugged back at me.

“How have you been?” I asked her, then. “John says detainment was rough.”

Charlie sighed, leaning on the tactical interface. “I’m trying not to hold onto it. How has life with Liara been? Seems like you two got close.” Her brows knitted, suddenly. “Wait, are you and her…?”

“No!” I said, almost too quickly, shaking my head vehemently. “No, no. We’re just friends. I always thought it was her and the drell partner of hers…”

“Sorry,” she said, “Just thought…maybe that’s what you and Joker…”

I scowled. “I don’t want to talk about it, Charles, thought I was clear about that.” I took a deep breath, turning the anger down to simmer. A pause, then I looked up at my commander, my friend. “Enough of that. Speaking of…have you been able to reach Thane?”

She shook her head, brows knitting, beginning to pace. “The Alliance had us locked down. No comms, no nothing. I’m worried…”

I stood, put my hand on her shoulder. “ _Don’t_ worry. He can handle anything, that Krios. You’ll find each other.”

She chewed on her thumbnail, but she nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, I…I hope you’re right.”

The intercom clicked on. “ _Shepard, Jeff wishes to inform you that we are arriving at the Citadel. He would also like me to tell you that he has alerted the authorities to Major Alenko’s condition. Our ETA is two minutes.”_

“Thanks, EDI,” said Charlie, her eyebrows knitting in consternation. “And…why couldn’t Joker tell me this himself?”

“ _He did not say_ ,” the AI replied, “ _But I do believe he was aware that Glenn was with you, and didn’t want to risk interaction.”_ In the background I heard a hissed, “ _Can it, EDI!_ ”

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you, EDI. I’ll drop socks and grab crocs.” I passed by Charlie with an over-exaggerated sigh, stopping again at the door. “I figure I already know the answer; can I grab my old quarters?” Charlie nodded, and I tossed a two-finger salute at her, swaggering out the door. “See ya, Commander.”

We made landing in the Citadel docks, and the Huerta paramedics took the major away immediately. John looked anxiously after him, standing on toe to peer after his stretcher even as it drew away. Paxton looked to Charlie and Charlie to Liara. “What do we do then, you suppose?”

Before anyone had a chance to answer, another body in Alliance regs came walking through the doors, calling out, “Commander Shepard,” as he approached. With a sudden start I recognized the C-Sec captain I’d run into organizing Kolyat’s penance half a year ago. I’d liked Bailey; he was a good man who didn’t have a lot of bullshit or tolerance for it- a rare enough thing on a place like the Citadel. “Captain Bailey,” Charlie greeted him, shaking his hand as he approached.

“Ah, it’s ‘Commander’ now,” he said, not sounding at all proud. “Now half my job is escorting dignitaries around.” He scanned our group with a brief eye. “No offense,” he said.

“None taken.” Charlie followed him towards the elevator.

“Council’s dealing with their own problems, with this war on,” he said. “They apologize for the inconvenience, and…blah, blah, blah. They’ll be with you shortly.”

Liara strode for the elevator. “I’ll go ahead and prepare the data to present.” Charlie nodded, and she broke off and left the ranks.

“Your buddy’s at Huerta,” Bailey continued. “If you want to see him…”

“John and I will go to the hospital,” I broke in, quickly. “Charles, Pax, you guys head up and deal with the Council.” That was killing two birds with one stone; A, John needed to see Alenko stabilized for his peace of mind. B, we couldn’t have him _or_ me getting pissed off at the Council- it was helpful when I shouted down the Migrant Fleet, not so much in these circumstances.

Bailey then looked to the hulking human tank, who was still hulking even without the armor to help the illusion. “And you?”

He held his hands up in front of him. “I’m just a tourist today. I’ll try to stay out of trouble.” Bailey eyed him warily, then gave an assenting nod.

Charlie nodded once more to the commander. “Thanks, Bailey.”

He started to say something, then paused, pressing his earpiece. “ _We have a situation in the embassies.”_ He sighed, nodded to us, said, “The other part of my job,” and walked off.

“Come find us at the embassies when you’re done,” Charlie told us, as we piled into the elevator. It stopped first at the hospital, and John and I disembarked; leaving James and the Shepard girls to continue up.

We walked down through the waiting room, stopped briefly at the scanner, and then crossed into the inpatient wing. As we tracked down Alenko’s room, I heard a salarian and a human doctor talking, speaking of _touch-and-go for a while_ , and _stable now_. I put my hand on John’s shoulder, and followed him up into the room.

Inside, the major was laid out on his back; bruised, battered, eyes closed, a trickle of blood dried under his nose. John took a deep, unsteady breath. I tightened my hold on his back, and after a few moments he spoke. “Kaidan? I…God, it’s hard to see you like this. I…I don’t know if you can hear me, but…you can’t tell me to get the hell out, either, so I’ll take my chances.” He took another deep breath. “Seeing you in action today…it reminded me that you’re a hell of a soldier. The Alliance could use you…” he trailed off, added almost as an afterthought he was reluctant to admit, “… _I_ could use you.” His fists tightened. “You’ve gotta pull through, Kaidan. _Fight._ ”

After a long moment, I took my hand from his shoulder. John didn’t move, added finally, thickly, “And that’s an order.”

I waited another moment, shuffled up to his side, said, “You want a minute?”

“Yeah,” he snapped suddenly into motion, like he’d been somewhere else. “Yeah, if it’s not…”

“I’ll be out in the lobby,” I said, turned and left him to take the seat by the bedside. I progressed out into the waiting room, hands folded behind my back, mulling over it all, over Hackett’s words, my new position, the _Normandy_ \- anything but Jeff, really. Oh God, did I try, but I ended up thinking about him anyway. _You sleep with everything that breathes._

God, that one hurt like a punch to the gut; if only because in the end, it was true. A taunt to my asari tendencies. I’d done the same thing to get a rise out of Vasir, hadn’t I? _You girls should really stick to dancing. You know, play to your strengths._ But had he thought that of me all along? Had he meant all those things he said, or had they been spears sharpened in the heat of anger, thrown to bring me down to the same level of hurt? He’d sounded hurt. I knew all too well the feeling. God damn, and for six months I’d been yearning to hear his voice again, kiss the corner of that stupid smirking mouth and feel his skin pressed against mine, that soft heartfelt moan that he would make, with his head tipped back, eyes slid closed, lips parted, a flush high on the cheekbones and his hair rumpled, sweaty, brows drawing just that little bit together.

I halted by the hospital gift shop when something caught my eye- _Peruvian whiskey? Books- Tennyson, Dickenson, Twain._ These might have been some of the last exports to make it out of Earth. I approached the kiosk, tilting my head, appraising. Maybe a gift would smooth things over?

I shook my head, scowling. _Like hell, Glenn, he all but dumped your ass and didn’t even have the courtesy to tell you why._ Still, I hovered there, thought, _didn’t John say something about the major and his whiskey?_ I finally ended up grabbing the bottle, resolving to hand it off to him to hopefully help things along with their relationship.

As I went down to find myself a place to sit and wait for John, I looked by chance over to the huge glass wall and spotted a familiar back, in the midst of light shadow sparring. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes, thought, _it couldn’t be,_ then split my face in a wide grin and headed over.

I watched him for a moment, knew he probably already knew I was there by a combination of my footsteps, breathing, and reflection in the glass- nonetheless; we retained the illusion of oblivity before I spoke, “Staying in shape?”

He threw one last punch. “With exercise and a healthy lifestyle, my disease can be delayed a few years.” He turned back to me. “My allotted time is up. Now, I exercise because I please.”

I grinned, then hurried forward to accept his hug. “Thane. It’s been too long. Beginning to think I’d never see you again, you know?”

“It was difficult to leave the _Normandy_ ,” he replied, sounding raspier than ever, holding me by the elbows whilst he examined me. “But in the end it was the right decision. I would rather we be separated than contained in an Alliance interrogation room.” He let me go, then eyed my charge. “What is that, a gift?” he lifted his eyes to me, the small quirk in his brow-lines that I knew for the knowing glance.

Not having the heart to tell him about the earlier falling-out, I just nodded, said, “Yeah, we’re visiting a friend. John and I, I mean. Major Alenko- he got hurt on a mission.”

“The biotic in intensive care?” Thane questioned, cut off by a cough. “I saw the marks of an implant,” he elaborated.

“Yeah. He and John were…together once, on the first _Normandy._ Not really sure where they are now, but…” I lifted the bottle. “John said he did love a good whiskey. Figured it couldn’t hurt things for him to hand that over next visit.”

Thane nodded, and I lowered the bottle again. “Your enemies may try to finish him off here. I will watch over him.”

“Thanks,” I said, “He’s…he’s family. That’ll mean a lot to all of us.”

“I am near the end of my life.” He led me over to a pair of seats by the window. “It is a good time to be generous. How have you been?”

“Fine,” I said, “Fine, yeah, been running with Liara. Life’s been…going.” _I lied, I’m not fine, I feel like I’m about to break._

Thane sensed the dishonesty in me (damned Spidey-drell senses) and gave me The Look ( _I’m not angry, just very, very disappointed_ ) until I relented. “Okay, it’s…I hated that I never got to say goodbye. I don’t know where anyone is. If they’re safe. If they need help. The Reapers are here trying to kill us, and no one wants to listen. If we can’t get people to muster up soon, this’ll be the end. And Joker and I…he and I are through.”

Now Thane offered an expression of surprise. “You two were very close, as I seem to recall.” _And I recall it perfectly,_ went unspoken. “He and you are no longer together?”

I shook my head, buried it miserably in my hands. “I don’t know. He just…I went up to see him, but he was pissed at me…said he understood I wasn’t interested in him anymore- he sent me messages, he said, but I never got any. I tried contacting him; and when he didn’t reply back to me I thought the Alliance was locking him out…I guess not. Then when I got confused he said…if he was holding me back, all I had to do was say so. And that…that I’ll screw anything with a pulse.” My voice went low with that, quiet, ashamed. I’d barely managed to get the words out and my face felt like it was on fire, and I had to drop my gaze down to the floor before he could say anything.

“He said this to you?” suddenly, there was the note of restrained anger, but very obvious distaste, and when I looked up Thane’s lip was curling in disgust, along with the heavy furrow of his brow.

I sighed. “Thane, please remember that he’s fragile…”

“A weakness. There are eighty-four different ways to injure him that I’ve come up with now, rather than the usual forty-six.”

“Thane, he was our crewmate. _Is_ , in my case. If I’d wanted to sock him in the jaw, I would’ve done it already. I can’t be setting my old mentor on him; for the sake of…team cohesiveness, and all that other shit.” I sighed, massaging my temples. “I’ll…I’ll handle it myself. It’s a headache, but I can take care of it.”

A moment of silence.

“You’re sure you don’t need me to-”

“No, Thane. Contrary to outward appearances, I’ve got it all under control.”

He scrutinized me another moment, then he nodded and finally relented. I turned to see John finally coming down the hall- then, the sound of the elevator alerted me to the arrival of Pax, Charlie, and Liara- their expressions suggesting that the latest meeting with the Council had been anything but successful. I wasn’t surprised, but somehow it was still disappointing. I turned back to Thane to see him keenly watching Charlie’s arrival. Liara and Paxton moved forward to meet John, but she hung back, looking wearily around. I looked back to my old mentor, said, “I wish only the best for you, Thane.”

“And you, Glenn,” he said, then putting a smile on, whether for my benefit or from Charlie’s arrival was to be debated. “Do not grieve for me. I have good doctors. My son visits regularly.”

“He does?” I asked, softly. Thane nodded at me, and I said, “Well, tell Kolyat I said hello. Give him my regards.”

“I will,” he said, and I got to my feet, picking up the bottle of whiskey to take with. “One more thing.”

I paused, looked back to him. He fished into a pocket, pulled out a length of leather twine that ended in a pendant carved out of a milky shell- the type I recalled picking up walking on the shores of Kahje; when we went walking down the beaches, Thane, Irikah, Kolyat, and I. “I went back to my home planet again, since we parted,” he said, folding it gently into my hand. “I remembered our walks…I thought this was appropriate.” He cocked his head. “It’s been a while since I carved shells. It was more difficult than I recalled.”

_All things worth keeping are,_ I thought, and let him squeeze my hand- didn’t know what to say, offered just a brief, “Thank you,” before I left.

Sometimes the plainest words are finest.

I tapped Charlie on the shoulder when I reached her, clearing my throat and jabbing a thumb in the direction I had just come. Her eyes went wide and soft, and I stepped out of her way, watching her move slowly to the standing Thane, as if in a trance. I turned away from them, let them be and went to rendezvous with the others, standing now in the middle of the lobby. “What’s the brief?” I asked.

“Well, the Council can’t help us,” Paxton said, turning to me and folding her arms. “As usual. But Councilor Sparatus offered us a ‘helpful hint.’” (Helpful hint, complete with finger quotes.) “Palaven’s under attack by the Reapers.” She frowned. “The Council races are going to convene a war summit- and as he said, a grateful turian primarch would be invaluable.”

“So we’re going to Palaven to extract him?” I asked.

She held a finger up. “Hackett sent us a priority mission. We’ve got to get out to Eden Prime; there’s a Prothean artifact there to extract. We’re hoping it’s gonna help us figure out this device you found.”

I blinked, folded my arms. “Right, so, we go out, pick up the artifact, head to Palaven?”

Paxton grimaced. “Yeah, well…”

I sighed. “What else?”

“Cerberus is there.”

I was quiet for a long time. Then, I sighed. “Because everything is easy with us,” I said, tossing my arms out to the sides. “Right. Cerberus; Eden Prime, Reapers; Palaven. Why don’t we ever go anywhere nice?”

Paxton snorted shortly, a ghost of a smile flickering before it faded into something longing, something bitter. “Come on, guys. Give Charlie a bit more time with Thane; let’s go get those pre-flight checks started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	4. A Trip to an Old Hat on an Off-Chance, a Half-Hint, and a Hunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [All four Thane icons available by popular demand, including 'talk shit, get hit: the original', 'talk shit, get hit: dramatic zoom', 'talk shit, get hit: one more word about glenn and i will kick your sorry ass even with terminal lung disease', and 'talk shit, get hit: romance edition'](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54807080708/talk-shit-get-hit-as-requested-as-was)
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> [also the thane in retrospect icon](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/54933978001)
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> A new chapter, a new day! I'm cranking these out more efficiently than I'd thought- so on that note, enjoy! I love love LOVE all the great feedback I've been getting lately. Remember, it's all Bioware's, and I hope you enjoy!

The ride out to the Exodus Cluster was a little bit of a haul; which I spent investigating the package that had arrived for me while I was out. Inside sat my promised battlefield uniform- the email in my inbox shared that it was modified from an N7 engineer’s design, built with biotic attacks also in mind. There were also a set of dress blues, which I ignored in favor of my pretty new war outfit.

There also came a set of files that they asked me to validate- I skimmed over them briefly, corrected a height discrepancy on one and retyped the weight bar with _none of your goddamn business-_ was about to punch the button and send them to HQ when I noticed the name heading the papers.

SLT MARY GLENN.

My finger hovered above the _send_ button.

At last, I moved back, tapped the name bar and erased my name, thought for a moment, then tapped in GLENN DANTUS T’LASSITA. Before I could change my mind, I punched the submit key and got to my feet, paced around the cabin until EDI told me it was time to suit up.

“Priority is to extract that artifact.” As we suited up down in the armory, shuffled down to the shuttle bay in the Alliance retrofits, Charlie gave us the brief. “Intel says that the colonists have organized a resistance movement there. It’s likely we’ll be able to at least weaken the Cerberus foothold. We find any intel that could help them, we pick it up, got it?” she shrugged on her shoulder guards, and started hopping into her greaves. “We’ve orders to help survivors if we find any- though it’s not likely.” She punctuated by finally turning to the left, and picking up her helmet. “Now, those of you what have served under me before; you know how our squads run. Those of you who haven’t- Lieutenant Vega- here’s the rundown. Either John, Pax, or I could be leading a ground team on a given day. If I’m squad leader, you’re an Omaha. If it’s Pax, you’re a Delta. John, you’re a Bravo. In the light of recent events, I’ve decided to assign everyone in my running pool a name; that way if we ever get split, we can all call to each other over comms.” She stepped forward and started jabbing fingers. “Liara, your code’s India, don’t forget it. Lieutenant Vega, you’ll answer to Kilo. Lieutenant Glenn,” she looked to me, hit me with the full _master and commander_ stare. I stood a little straighter, wary of the Alliance logo on my breastbone, shoulders. “You’re Echo.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She stepped back, hefted her rifle and looked at me. “Bad drop on Palaven; you, James, and Omaha get split and Vega takes a shot in the knee. I order all squads to report in. What do you say?”

 _She’s testing me._ “Echo Squadron reporting in, Omaha, Kilo is not able to move, requesting backup at my coordinates.”

“The both of you are nearly overrun by Reaper forces and there is no available backup or extraction. What do you radio in?”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Shit, Charles, we’re fucked.” I stuck my helmet on without further amendment, and swaggered up into the shuttle. Dimly, I heard Vega saying somewhere behind me, “ _I like her._ ”

John took his seat next to me in the shuttle; and we began to pull out of the bay and down towards Eden Prime’s atmosphere.

“So,” I said, to the shuttle pilot’s back. “I used to fly the Kodiak. Used to procure supplies and all, but I hear you do that too.” I looked to John. “I’m hurt, LC. I feel replaced.”

“You, piloting the shuttle? I don’t think I’ve been so afraid for my life since Pax drove the Mako,” said John, looking sideways to me through his helmet.

“Hey!” Paxton protested.

“I follow his orders, too,” quipped Lieutenant Cortez, from the pilot’s seat.

“There’s that,” John acknowledged, with a nod. “And nothing personal, Glenn, but you know what my stance is on the aesthetic qualities of fliers.”

“I hear that,” said Cortez, and the two chuckled.

“Ha-ha, yeah, right. Okay. I can appreciate boy butt as much as the rest of you-” my eyes traveled the compartment. “Except for you, Vega, unless you want in on the action.”

Vega held his hands up in a classic _I’m good._

“- but come on. Where’s that new age equal opportunity attitude?”

“The bad driver stereotype is _really_ hard to break when the last two women who drove me places consistently nearly got me killed.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right. You just like seeing stubble in the pilot’s seat. I see how it is.” I folded my arms, sat back in a timeless grumpy cat pose.

John laughed. “You’re one to talk.”

A brief silence followed- the Y-chromosome-endowed Shepard looked about the cabin, asked, “What? Something I said?”

“No,” I said, stretching languidly, trying to stuff down the feelings I didn’t want to deal with at the moment and bury them beneath nonchalance. “Something Mr. Moreau said. A few things, actually. I’m not inclined to talk about them, actually. Change of subject, please.”

“Wait, you two…?” he sat forward, pulling his thumbs apart in the pantomime of _split._

I glared at him out from the visor of my helmet, channeling my best, _I head-butted a krogan bareheaded once to defend the honor of my krantt, you think I’m gonna hesitate now that I’ve got a goddamned helmet?_ “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do we need to put you two into the get-along pod?” he looked to the others. “Remember the get-along pod? Dear god; how long were Ash and Garrus in there?”

“Seventeen hours,” said Paxton, drily.

“Excuse me, _get-along pod?_ ” I choked. “What the hell kind of place did you pick that up from, daycare? I’m sure we can work like professional adults about this.” _I’m good at keeping face; no one will ever be able to tell my heart’s breaking._

“He did refuse to talk to me over the intercom because you were in the room,” deadpanned Charlie.

John started to laugh. “Oh, Christ. EDI. Prepare the get-along pod.” He sagged against the back of the bench, cackling.

I crossed my arms, scowled. “I hate you.”

He tilted his head my way. “I hate you…” he trailed off, gesturing in a little circle.

I glared at him. “ _Sir._ ” He sat back against the bench, finally satisfied. “As you were, Lieutenant.” His voice was still dripping with mirth.

 _Glad to see you’re feeling so great,_ the irritable side of me noted, as we hovered down over the surface of Eden Prime. _Be nice, Glenn. It was just a fling. People are going to treat it like what it was. Besides, he’s happy that Kaidan, who is probably the love of his life, is recovering safely in the best hospital on the most secure station in the galaxy with a thoroughly capable drell assassin watching his back. Be happy for him._

Then, the voice began to transform: _like yours merit any respect. Shut up, no one cares. You’re nothing._ Finally, there was only the cruel whisper that had haunted me all my life; and the pessimistic, uncaring tone that pretended that its harsh words didn’t hurt.

As we kissed the surface of the planet, the doors opened and we hopped out in our little group, looking about the remarkably verdant surroundings and preparing to move.

“It doesn’t look like Cerberus has detected us yet,” Charlie said, lowly. “We might be able to get in under their noses.” She gestured. “Move out.”

As we moved along, Liara spoke. “The colonists of Eden Prime have suffered so much. First the geth, and now Cerberus.”

“They rebuilt from the geth attack,” said James. “They can rebuild again.”

“We grew up on ships,” John remarked, “You lose one, you can move to another.”

“But you’d still remember,” Liara retorted. A few more moments passed, and then we crested a ridge over the colony. Smoke was rising from some of the settlements; but it was largely green and brown, blue waters, blue skies and white clouds. It was beautiful. However, the stain of war was on it, and I cradled my shotgun to my front as we moved down.

“This is where it all began,” Pax said, quietly, as she looked around. “This is where we first saw Sovereign. Where we first ran into Saren…”

“Jenkins,” said John. “And that damn recon drone.”

“Ash,” said Paxton.

“The beacon,” Charlie finished. She looked around. “Yeah, a lot’s happened here.” She peered ahead. “Looks like the dig site up ahead.”

Liara hurried to the forefront. “Look,” she said, a touch of the inner geek coloring her tone. “Bits of Prothean tech, sticking out of the ground like old bones.”

“You ever uncover a dinosaur on your digs?” Vega quipped.

Liara shook her head at him. “No. I’m an archaeologist; I study the remains left by intelligent species. Dinosaurs would fall under paleontology- the two fields are vastly different, and…you’re joking.”

“Me?” Vega moved along with the rest of the group. “Nah.”

I hurried out to the elevator, punched the console. “It’s coming up here, hold on.” As the lift rattled up to us, Liara stepped forward with her omni-tool, scanning the large black box.

“Well, Blue, you’re the resident Prothean expert.” I shrugged. “What are we dealing with?”

Her eyes had gone wide, and she marginally shook her head. “ _Goddess,_ ” she whispered, “This isn’t a Prothean artifact. It’s…a real, live Prothean.”

“He’s alive?” I gaped. “How?”

“Cryogenic suspension,” she said, looking excitedly up to the Shepards. “There were stasis pods like these on Ilos, too. Remember? And _those_ only failed due to a lack of power. This pod still has power.”

Charlie stepped up, examining the casket with a quizzically tilted head. “Then we get him out.”

Liara held out her hand. “No. Trying to open the pod by force would kill him. We have to find the transmitter that’s broadcasting the stasis signal and shut it down. Then, we would need to find the code to open up the pod. Those are likely to be found in the colony.” She pointed towards the settlements.

Charlie looked that way. She nodded, and motioned forward. A Cerberus shuttle whizzed in from behind, suddenly, over our heads, coming in to hover above the ground ahead. “Grab cover!” she ordered, as soldiers began to pour out. “ _Neutralize hostiles_!” the squad leader ordered them, pointing to cover points. “ _Go, go, go!_ ”

Paxton had already set up a vantage point, and got four of them before they even had a hope of cover. James tossed a grenade into one of the hidey-holes to flush out another three, and the last fell easily to a singularity and then a combination of gunfire. We waited a moment, until Charlie breathed into our earpieces, “Clear,” and we stood and began to regroup.

“They know we’re here now,” said John, looking suspiciously around.

I brought up my omni-tool. “I could try to jam their comms…wait.” I tilted my head. “I’m detecting a signal in the house over there. It’s not Cerberus-encrypted.”

“Check it out?” Charlie asked.

“Cover me,” I said, pulling my pistol close and moving in.

I edged towards the door, shuffled in by the lip of the lintel and peered in. I detected no threats, and my helmet’s visor traced the signal to a laptop sitting open on the table. I moved in, holding the pistol up with one hand and taking to the keyboard with the other. I found an infographic speaking of typical Cerberus squad makeup. _That’ll be useful._ I brought up my omni-tool, and began uploading the report to bring to the resistance.

Suddenly, there was the unfolding of a gun behind me, and a tremulous, “Don’t move. I’ll shoot.”

I froze.

“Put your gun on the floor,” said the voice. “Put your hands up, where I can see them, and turn around, very slowly.”

I put my free hand up, palm open, and bent down to place the gun at my feet. I turned around, very slowly, and put the other hand up where she could see them.

My opponent was a young girl- she looked pale, frightened, dirty, and oddly familiar. Her grip on the pistol she was holding had a Cerberus logo- was she with them? Or had she stolen it from a corpse? “Who are you?” she demanded.

“I’m with the Alliance Navy,” I said, slowly. “The rest of my team is outside. We’re here to help.”

“Really?” her hands shook harder. Her eyes were huge. “How do I know you’re not a Cerberus goon trying to fool me?” I started to point to the Alliance logo on my collar plating, and she jammed the muzzle of the gun in my direction. “Don’t move! I’ll shoot you! Don’t think I won’t!”

“With the safety on?” I deadpanned, cocking an eyebrow.

The girl looked to the gun, and in the split second she was distracted I darted to the ground, snatched my pistol and rolled behind the cover of an overturned desk.

“It’s not on!” she protested.

“It doesn’t matter,” I called, from behind my cover. “Let me hear you drop your thermal clips, and I’ll call my team in. We can help you. Listen to me. We’re _not_ with Cerberus. We’re here to help you.”

I heard a silence from the other end. I peeked out from behind my cover, but darted back and cursed a blue streak when a few wild shots escaped my way. I heard a gasp from the girl’s direction, a shaky, “ _I’m sorry._ ” When I stood up, her grip was almost limp and she looked about to cry. Poor kid probably went through nothing less than hell.

I holstered my pistol. “Hey. Come on, you’re safe now. Dog days are over…kid. You must have a name.”

“Rhaella,” she sniffed. “Rhaella Glenn.”

I halted in my tracks. _Coincidence, Glenn. Take off the paranoid cap._ “Right. You must have folks.” She looked blankly at me. “You know. Family?”

She started suddenly. “Mom, but…they got her in the first attack. I haven’t seen my dad since I got separated from the resistance camp two days ago.”

I looked her over. “You’ve survived this long. You’re tough, kid, I’ll give you that.”

She wiped her nose. “I’m a biotic,” she said. “That helped.”

“I don’t doubt it.” I patted her shoulder. “Come on out here; my team can help you get out of here safely.” She willingly let me steer her outside, a hand between her shoulderblades. I pressed my earpiece heading out. “Stand down, Omaha Squad. Got a survivor here.”

As we emerged, the others had tugged off their helmets to get a good look at the new arrival. Liara exchanged a look with Charlie, Paxton and John both eyeballed the girl, and James did a classic double-take, eyes bugging a little in his head. Well, she was a bit filthy.

The girl seemed to freeze as she got outside. “Commander Shepard?” she asked, then a sudden, “I remember you. I…you were here two years ago. When the geth attacked?” the three exchanged a bewildered look. “I…I was hiding in the shed, with Cole. You found us there and he told you about the smuggling ring.”

Pax gave a start. “That’s right. You were the kid that said people might still be alive.”

“What’s your name?” Charlie asked her.

“Rhaella Glenn,” she said, her hands working unconsciously.

The mannerism made me twitch, almost, with a repressed shudder of odd déjà vu- I’d been doing the same thing just moments before.

I could feel the rest of the teams’ eyes. Charlie looked at John and Paxton in turn, then she turned back to the girl. “What are your parents’ names, Rhaella?”

Her hands wrung a little faster. “I…my mother’s name was Victoria Brandt. She’s dead.” She shook a little. “I was with the resistance camp, but Cerberus attacked us two days ago and I got separated from everyone else. My father is helping organize the resistance; I was trying to send him some intel I found. His name’s Nathan Glenn.”

I sucked in a huge breath, like someone had yanked it into me with a drawstring. Liara immediately looked my way, as did Paxton and John- who then slowly afforded their eyes to Charlie.

“I’m going to scout ahead,” I said, almost numbly. “Be up here if you need me, Charles.”

I didn’t bother to listen to what was going on behind me- I almost didn’t want to hear it. Instead I stared dead ahead- and I’m glad now that I did, because for a split second I saw a flash of orange among the white settlement structures- one small mistake in the Cerberus defensive.

“Ambush!” I cried, and then I charged.

The trooper I rammed into flew straight down into the chasm- a pair of arms locked around my neck, trying to yank me back towards the same precipice. I shoved off of the edge and plummeted down with the grunt; elbowing him in the gut until he let me go and then yanking the knife out of my boot and jamming it into the side of a Prothean artifact sticking up like a skyscraper. I slid down to the sound of tearing metal, until finally I ground to a halt. Then I summoned all of my biotic energy, focusing my mind like Samara had taught me, and floated my way up.

I grabbed finally onto the edge, and clawed back up onto the superstructure- a shield-bearing Cerberus trooper closed on me suddenly, and I sent a shockwave without hesitating, knocking his riot shield aside and grabbing his neck, providing a brief biotic assist to neutralize his weight, and tossing him down the chasm screaming. The last one to approach was the squad leader, but a quick charge proved him naught as well.

I looked around, but our enemies had been neutralized. I biotic-jumped down to the ground again, removing my helmet in the hopes to decrease the feeling of pressure in my head. The back of my neck felt hot; hopefully I could cool the implant out this way. “Got ‘em, Skipper.”

Charlie nodded at me. “Nice work, LT.” she turned back to the group- John looked away, and Pax offered a brief smile before sharing a look with Liara. Rhaella was standing next to James, still shaking marginally, but now she was looking at me with some sort of stark wonder etched into her face.

“What, my war paint running?” I asked, referring to the Vietnam-style face paint I’d donned for the mission (I was thinking of making a habit of it.)

She didn’t answer, just stepped forward and narrowed her eyes, studying me. “See something interesting?”

She blinked; her parted lips pressed together and her brows furrowed in a gesture of thinking. Finally, she spoke: “LT like lieutenant. I know. There were marines stationed here years ago; Chief Williams left with your ship and she never came back.” She looked then to Charlie, almost accusingly. “And so did Ricky. He came back.” She looked to me then, scowling. “But he died, too. You’re a lieutenant. What’s your name?”

I glared at her. “What’s it to you, kid?”

“I feel like I know you,” she said. “But I’ve never seen you before.”

“No offense, kid, but you’ve been running from Cerberus for two days. What you need is a hot bath and a good meal. And a few nights’ rest. We’ll radio in the shuttle to pick you up.” I started on my way back towards the labs.

There was silence behind me. Then, a clear, strong rhyme.

“To sit in solemn silence by a dull, dark dock.”

I halted.

“In a pestilential prison with a lifelong lock,” Rhaella continued, walking up behind me. “Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock-”

“From a cheap and chippy chopper, off a big, black block,” I finished, numbly. My fists clenched, unclenched, and then I turned around. Rhaella was looking widely at me. “Are you…” she trailed off, suddenly looking confused. “Who are you?”

“Your half-sister,” I said, shortly, tugging my helmet back on. “By the same father.” I started to walk.

The kid ran after me. “Wait up! A half-sister? Dad never said anything about you. Where have you been all this time?”

“In the fuckin’ Terminus, kid!” I rounded on her. “You wanna know why daddy never talked about me? Because I was his little lab experiment. These guys that are attacking your colony? He used to _work_ for them. He used to be head of one of their cells of operation. He had a daughter with an asari and played choose-your-own-adventure with my genes, so now I’m…this.” I gestured all up and down myself. “Some half-asari, half-human… _thing_. Your father’s organizing the resistance because he knows how they work.” I stormed away into the labs, the anger of the last few days sifting together and threatening to boil over. Liara and Charlie approached a flickering board presenting a static screen. I found a humming terminal, opened it up, and eyed the video log there. As the others filed in after me, Rhaella lingering silently in the back, I punched it up to play.

_Update 64; orbit cycle 92. We’ve got word of their next movements: Glenn says they’re off to establish a foothold in the river valley about three miles east of the dig site. If his intel’s good; we’ll do what he wants- “abduct” him and the daughter, and blast them in an escape pod towards the Citadel. Cerberus out._

The transmission flickered. Rhaella was white-faced, shaking her head. Grimly, I shut it off, said, “Well, appears I overestimated his strength of character. That’s a first. He’s dirty on top of everything. I’ll send this out to the resistance right away.”

“Wait!” Rhaella grabbed my arm. “What’ll they do to him?”

I pried my arm from her grasp. “Don’t worry, kid. He’s got his Cerberus buddies to bail him out.” I punched up the data. “I doubt the Illusive Man will be happy with him- he did run, all those years ago, and TIM isn’t exactly the forgiving type. Might use him for his next experiment. Well, let it never be said turnabout isn’t fair play.” I looked up at her white face, her terror-ridden posture. “And if they don’t…well, that’s probably the better course. The rest of the colony might even be inclined to kill him quick.” I finished sending the intel, and powered off my omni-tool.

“You _can’t_.”

“I did.” I folded my arms. “Are you seriously prepared to save that son of a bitch’s ass; over hundreds of innocent civilians?”

“It could’ve been faked,” she protested, vehemently. “I know him. He wouldn’t _do_ something like that.”

“Yes, he would,” I said, loading up my pistol and readying it to go. “And I’m living proof.” I turned to the static-ridden screen, frowning at it. “Welcome to the family, kid.”

There was no more response. Charlie shook her head suddenly, snapping out of a trancelike silence. She blinked rapidly, dissipating clouds of green from her eyes. “I…I’ve got the signal.”

“You understood that?” Liara asked.

“You didn’t?” Charlie looked back to the rest of us, questioning.

“It must be the Cipher that you got from Shiala,” Paxton said. “Can you transmit it?”

Charlie fiddled with her omni-tool, then nodded. “Yeah.” Another moment. “All right. It’s going.”

“Now we just need the access code,” Liara turned away, and began to look around. Rhaella crossed her arms, frowning at her feet, then at me. I raised an eyebrow at her.

“How do we even know that we’re related?” she asked. “Or that we’re talking about the same man?”

“Look, kid, when he turned me _not_ blue, he had to use his own genes on my face. You’re the one who started prying into my ID, okay? I’m his splitting…feminine image. Even my mother’s side of the family thinks so.”

“So you were supposed to be an asari?”

“You ever seen a human with biotics this good?” I eyeballed her. She didn’t answer. “Yeah. I didn’t get that from daddy.” I cocked my pistol, and followed after the others.

“The code’s in here,” Liara said, pointing out another staticky monitor. Charlie moved close, frowned. I could see something, suddenly, unfolding in her eyes like a solute, a bright green like the data troves at the Archives washing over blue irises.

We waited.

Finally, she broke away. “I’ve got the access code,” she said.

“You understood that one too?” Paxton asked. Charlie nodded, and wiped her temple. “Come on, let’s get back to the dig site. We can open that pod.”

We crossed the colony again- facing out in a circle, watching warily for trouble, but Cerberus seemed to have retreated. Finally, we found the pod again. Liara examined it, said, “Your signal worked; it’s out of stasis mode. Just put in the code.”

Charlie stepped forward, and began tapping on the glowy-green schematics. “It’s not going to open right away,” Liara elaborated. “If Cerberus comes; we’ll have to defend this position.”

I pulled the Wraith, ejected a used heat sink and held it close to the front. “Bring it on.”

Charlie finished punching the code. “James, protect Rhaella,” she said, and James nodded, shifting in front of the raggedy girl.

Soon enough, the telltale eezo emissions of several Kodiak shelters reached our ears. “Defensive positions,” Charlie hissed, and we all crouched near the pod. “On my mark.”

The Cerberus troops began to unload. “Count four. Echo; on their three. Delta, cover fire. India, suppress bottleneck; Bravo, support range. Keep them off her back. On three.”

I counted. _One. Two._

The energy gathered and swirled around me. I closed my eyes.

_Three._

I whirled and charged. Three troopers flew back as I tore their squad leader in half. Another running to confront me was blasted clean away by the shotgun, and a third who ran up on my back fell to a shot clean in the head. I could almost see Paxton smirking behind her Black Widow’s scope. A third evaded the cover fire and ran up just in time for me to kick him in the neck, and take him down to the ground, where I easily spun his head around a few notches too far. One of the shield-bearing troopers closed on me, but a quick biotic yank pulled his shield out of reach, and a spray of rifle fire brought him down. _That was John and Liara, then._ I turned around, bracing for more enemies, finding none.

I turned warily about-

Then, out of the blue, a wild, half-haggard yell behind me. I spun, fist tightening, was halfway to a warp-

 _Jzzzzzzdddddddt._ That’s what their charged bayonets sounded like on the outside. When they knock off your helmet, nick your jawbone, slice into your cheek and notch into your cheekbone, it’s like an earthquake inside your skull. Suddenly, there was heat like hell in my face; I could taste electricity on my tongue. I could feel my whole body jerking, eyes flying wide and my brain launching somewhere dark, eyes going black. A sluice of memories raced through my mind’s eye- a haggard, desperate fight against endless waves of batarians; an asari in an escape pod racing out into the depths of deep space and a Collector ship falling to the planet, could only choose one, can’t have both- a heartbreak in a settlement I knew, and a lingering hope that one day it could be mended, a lover whose life is slipping away even as we tarry away, a mother in yellow whispering “little wing”, a homeworld under attack and a scarred face unheard from.

Then, suddenly, there was something else- a long hall of pods, Collectors clicking and beating at the doors, green and fire, a harsh but lilting accent declaring, _their sacrifice will be honored in the coming empire._ A haughty crown, a descent into cold and nothingness for the longest time. A confusing awakening, foreign voices jabbering, a planet both familiar and alien. A desperate search for understanding; a reach for the nearest source of information. Then, someone was reading my own mind, calming away the meld, filing it somewhere in my head, somewhere I could reach it in my own time. I sought for it, wanting to try it, but the green glow of odd biotics pushed me down into my own conscience, _breathe. You will live._

I opened my eyes. The world returned around me, and a three-fingered hand clutched at the side of my neck. Four yellow eyes stared back at me.

I made a faint sound like a whimper and passed out.

When I woke several hours later, I winced against the harsh brightness of fluorescent lights. Someone spoke, a long way away, fuzzy, submerged. I blinked, groaned, and began to sat up, and everything began to focus. “Glenn, please, you’ll pull something else.”

That was Doctor Chakwas’ voice. I looked around, recognized the other examination tables and the door to the AI Core. I was in the med bay. Back on the _Normandy._

“What…?” I started to speak, and winced, groaning and feeling at the splitting site of pain in the right side of my face.

“You were hit by a Cerberus bayonet,” said Chakwas. “An electrified one. It had the one upside of adding enough heat to cauterize the wound; though if not for the intervention of our new addition, your brain would have likely hemorrhaged.”

I blinked, feeling my head. There was something there, a new overlay of control that had me itching to make mass effect fields. _The meld,_ I remembered. _He- the Prothean- taught me to use it._ I decided not to, right away, for the sake of _don’t do it when the doctor’s there to lecture you about overexertion._ “How’s it look?” I asked, carefully. It didn’t hurt as much as it had the last time. It just felt…tight, and talking was a little odd now.

“To be frank? It’s going to leave a scar,” said Chakwas, reaching up to peel the bandage there away.

“Great,” I gritted, wincing as it pulled away from my face. “Gotta compare notes to Garrus sometime.”

Chakwas handed me a mirror.

I examined the gash in my reflection, the same side as my damned ear. At least this one had gotten stitched back up; an earlobe was less of a matter than a cheek. The angry red seam ran along my cheekbone, down in a slightly jagged line to my jaw, where it wrapped a little down to my neck. The telltale incisions of stitches told of a slash wound, though the edges were reminiscent of Garrus’ burn scars. I examined the wound, frowning at my reflection, then assuming an impasse.

“I might just need to get a new tattoo for this one,” I said, and Chakwas allowed an almost imperceptible sigh of relief, apparently having decided I would be back to normal in 6.3 seconds. “Am I good to go, Doc?”

“Just try not to rip it open again.”

“Check, double check, Octa-tentacle hanar check.” I held a thumbs up as I walked out. “Thanks, Doc.”

I looked up to the ceiling as I headed out into the mess. “Hey EDI, everyone know I’m up?”

“I alerted the crew that you have recovered, Glenn. Though, I did not mention your…” Joker rounded the corner and ended up right in front of me, and everyone lapsed into awkward silence.

His eyes were wide as he looked me over, finally landing on the scar. “Oh, God. You…” he trailed off, shaking his head a little, brows knitting. “Are you okay?”

For a moment I was speechless. Actually, I was just speechless. Not the mouth-open kind of speechless, but the extremely disappointed speechless where you just tighten your jaw and glare like _are you fucking serious._

“I…heard about what happened on Eden Prime. I was worried, your…your armor’s metabolic scanners went off the charts. Your brain was about to overload itself.” His hand came up, suddenly, reaching for the angry line in my cheek, as if to touch it. I flinched back, eyes squeezing shut, turning the unblemished side to him. I opened my eyes, marginally, saw his hand drop and clench lightly by his side, eyes staring, wide, worried. I used to love that look. That look used to carry me through missions. My hands balled up into fists.

His voice was soft. “I just…I wanted to make sure you’re all right.” A beat. “Please, say someth-”

_WHACK._

The back of my hand had made connection with his cheek before I could realize I’d decided to do it, and his head snapped to the side, hands flying up to cradle the abused side. His eyes peeked back at me from behind his fingers, wide, questioning. My fists clenched so hard that they trembled, I growled through a red rage, “ _You._ Have got a _lot_ of nerve.” A pause, I snapped, “So what is this, your God-given right to worry about me _now_ of all times? The Taser stick was a bridge too short of your little temper tantrum. _You_ said the meanest, cruelest things to me, and _I_ played it off like it didn’t matter; because, _I’m_ not allowed to get pissed about things!” I shrugged wildly, almost laughing in my hysteria. “ _I’m_ not allowed to call you out, because _that_ makes me a bitch.” I sucked in a breath, spread my arms, raised my eyebrows in a classic _here’s Johnny._ “Well, here I am! Congratulations, you broke me; I officially don’t give a damn. I will call you out on your bullshit; and if that makes me a bitch, I am the MEANEST. FUCKING. BITCH. YOU WILL _EVER_ MEET. _EVER!_ _No one_ cared to ask me if I was all right when I brought it up- except for Thane, but I had to tell him not to break you into a hundred pieces, because, guess what, I’m a _woman,_ no one _cares_ if anyone calls me a whore, I’m just supposed to _take_ that shit! _No one thought it mattered._ ”

He put his hands up, reaching tentatively for my shoulders, afraid, whispering, “Hey, hey, calm down-”

I bodily shoved him back against the wall, shoulders drawing up and arms bending like I was hankering for a falcon punch. “IT IS 21- _FUCKING_ -86, I am _SICK_ and _TIRED_ of some _CAD_ going ‘duh someone’s on her period,’” I mocked the typical nightclub-asshole voice, then went back to my tirade, “You would not _DARE_ disrespect me if I were a man, because men who have a lot of sex are _gods_!” I took a huge breath, “But I’m a _woman_ who has a lot of sex. So that makes me a slut; up for ridicule and judgment about what she chooses to do with her _own_ body. Let me say this really loudly, so I can get it into that thick skull of yours: It’s _MINE_. Not _YOURS_. _I_ OWN IT. _NOT_ YOU. I will do with it what I please, without hearing any of your sexist judgment. If you want to be a chaste little girl, _you_ be the chaste little girl. I will not hear you sexualize me and my female partners- sure, we can fuck, that’s hot, God forbid we get into a committed relationship. I will _not_ hear you judge me on how many people I sleep with, who they are, and how I handle it. I will _not_ hear you talking like you have a better idea of what I should be doing, than me. I do _not want to hear it_.”

I took a deep breath, chest heaving, eyes set to the floor, finally looking up to him and shaking my head in disgust, sneering outright at his stunned expression.

“I thought you were different,” she says finally. “But you’re a narrow-minded, slut-shaming misogynist. You’ve got everyone goddamn fooled, you know that? Bad attitude, sure, because he’s got to overcome his disability to get any recognition. Fuck you! I’ve got a societal disability too, it’s called _my vagina_. You’re not jaded, Jeff Moreau, you’re just a douchebag. You better watch yourself. One day you’re gonna put your dick into some girl’s mouth and she’s going to goddamn bite it off because you guys forgot we have teeth.” I left him there in the middle of the mess, stormed to the elevator and took it down to the engineering decks, fuming. As the lift moved, I attuned my breath to the constant whirr of the drive core, sighing, cooling off. I stepped out and looked left, to the port cargo. Grunt’s old room, I recalled. Something in me pointed my feet there and started me walking; the same place that now nested the knowledge of the meld. When the doors opened, I coughed and waved a fog of humidity away from my face and stepped inside.

I could feel the sweat coagulating on me already. _Gross._

Our new resident, as I found it, was bent over one of two large pools, washing his hands off in the water.

“I find I must wash my hands often,” he said, without preamble, in his strange accent- harsh, and yet lilting. “Your ship has residues.”

I blinked. “Residues?”

“There are traces of those who lived here before,” he said, turning to me. “I detected a human…her genetic structure was…unnatural. As if falsely created.”

“That’d be Miranda,” I said, with a nod.

“There was a drell,” he continued. “There was…sickness in him.”

“Thane,” I said, quickly, looking to the floor, willing away the gnawing ache in the middle of my chest.

“And the krogan who occupied my quarters…he was going through a metamorphosis.”

I looked up. “So you can just…sense things?”

“For my people, it was natural as breathing.” He looked back to me.

I thought about it; and it seemed fairly natural to me as well. “I…I suppose it is.”

He paced forward, looked me up and down with his four yellow eyes and eight pupils. He sniffed at me once or twice with six- count em, six- nostrils, then stepped back with narrowed eyes, folding three-fingered hands behind his armor; reminiscent of Samurai I had read about in old Earth history books. “You are…confusing, to me. You appear human, but you read like an asari. When I regulated your meld, made it accessible to you, I detected tampering in your genes. A betrayal by one you trusted.” His eyes narrowed at me again. “Your father.”

I crossed my arms. “He…got a little work done while I was in the womb. I was supposed to be born asari. He wanted a human daughter with an asari’s powers, and…” I spread my arms. “This is what he got.”

“And you did not let him have it,” he said, looking me over and then giving what might have been an approving nod. “You cut him out of your life and forged your own path.”

“Not like I had much choice.” I shrugged. “He abandoned me.”

“And you are stronger for it.” he eyeballed me, put his hand suddenly on my head, thumb pressed to my forehead, index at the side. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply. “I sense much anger in you.” He let me go. “You are much like an Avatar.”

“Avatar?”

He stepped away, turned his back, began to wash his hands again.

“My people had exemplars of certain traits- Bravery, Compassion, Loyalty.” He stood, faced me directly. “I am called Javik. I am the Avatar of Vengeance.”

I blinked at him, tilting my head. “Then what am I?”

Javik watched me, thinking. Then, he said, “I do not know. Like the rest of you; it is…confusing.” He turned away, back to lean on the edge of his pool; and without farewell, I sensed an end to the conversation.

That night, I laid out and for once was quite tired to begin with- it had been a long day, after all. It appeared Javik had joined our crew, I’d heard Charlie talking about giving him code V for Victory…my head lolled sideways onto the pillow, and I looked up onto the monitors.

The girl, Rhaella, had been given clean clothes, a bath, and food. Once the dirt was off her, she _did_ look like me, uncomfortably so- her hair was a bit less curly and a lighter shade of brown, but the resemblance was there. Maybe the scar would help things. She hadn’t said a word to me since I’d dropped the news on our father, but some people just weren’t inclined to believe the facts, and I got the feeling she was one such people. Paxton sighed at that and gave me a knowing smile, told me: “Yeah, sisters are a pain in the ass. But sometimes they’re not. Double-edged sword, really. Once you think you’ve got a good grip, you cut yourself again- but a sword's pretty cool, so you keep trying to pick it up. Then again, swords aren’t for everyone…who even uses swords in this century? Forget it, this was a terrible metaphor.”

Charlie assured me that we could drop her at the Citadel next chance we got; we’d be making a stop after business was taken care of on Palaven. Until then, she was staying down on a little cot in the shuttle bay, where Vega and Cortez made their home. I could see her, in fact, on the _Shuttle Bay 03_ monitor. She was sitting with her shoulders hunched over, sad and lonely. God, it was like finding a puppy in a cardboard box on a rainy day, and it just gave you these _take me home_ eyes.

Vega moved into frame, hands stuffed shyly into his pockets. He said something, she looked up and shrugged. He shrugged back, and he went down and sat next to her.

Eyes narrowing, I switched on the audio recs; easily, now, with biotics.

“I like your…” he trailed off. “Colony smell,” he finished, awkwardly.  “Smells like strawberries.”

She gave him a quizzical look. Quite sweet, actually. “That’s shampoo.”

He blinked widely. Probably blushing; if the monitor could pick that up. “Uh, sure. I knew that. Totally cool, _Fresa_.”

“Fresa?” she asked.

“Yeah. Strawberries. Y’know.”

I made an “ _eurgh_ ” noise and shut off the feed, rolling over to the other wall. If I listened to any more of that, it was going to rot my teeth out.

A moment later, my curiosity got the better of me, and I looked over to see his arm around her. I scowled. _That is so adorable._ I faced the other wall again. _I’m going to kill him in the morning. That’s goddamn adorable._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	5. Not the Planet, but its Associated Moon, and on this Moon, an Old Associate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Palaven, ho! Or, Menae, as the title so eloquently says. It belongs to Bioware, of course. And I hope you enjoy it.

Second thoughts are the bane of my existence. I’d had none, for a blissful few minutes, had relished the residual sting in the back of my hand that meant I’d got him good. Then I’d seen him shuffling around like someone had lashed him to the mizzen mast and whipped him with a cat-o-nine; a dark purple bruise blooming on his face. In the end I finally went to Chakwas and asked if I’d fractured anything- she’d just leveled me a dirty look and told me now was an odd time to start worrying about that kind of thing- but no, it was just a bruise. I shouldn’t feel bad for smacking him upside the head, I told myself, he definitely deserved it. Still, I felt bad. And his constant puppy eyes weren’t helping anything.

Not that he ever directed them at me. After I’d given him that solid whack and good, long rant, he’d been avoiding me like the plague, and I’d decided not to go after him either. Though a part of me still wondered if he wanted to fix things. Maybe everything was shit right now, but the world was (once again) going to hell, and I’d sleep better with his arm wrapped around me, like he used to.

I might’ve hated him then; but I still loved him, with all my heart. I was feeling his absence keenly; and every time I was inclined to forget, I was reminded in the most subtle ways possible.

Biting my lip. Now there’s something I hadn’t used to do; something I’d picked up after meeting him. There had been other things, sure; big, deep things I could spend hours to get into…or, I could just simply state the fact that during those long months on Mars, when I spent hours holed up in a lab, his hat on my head and some eye-burning data feed in front of me, I’d be chewing on my lower lip- a habit I’d not had before him.

 _So what_ , everyone learns from relationships, a part of me said. _Move the hell on, he obviously has_. Still, a part of me dug in my heels and chomped at the bit. _I don’t…fall often, but when I do, it’s…fast. And completely._ I squeezed my eyes shut to that, rubbed at them with the heels of my hands. _I love you_ , he’d said. _Would’ve thought we’d have learned not to play fast with our emotions._

I groaned, rose and walked over to my desk, stopped, hovered over my terminal and sighed, looking at my reflection in the screen. Was I making too much of this? Was it truly over, and was this my biological clock ticking, gravitating straight towards the most recent ex? Could I really make so much of a relationship begun explicitly because we were dying?

I turned back, sat down, heavily, on the edge of the bed. Sighed, put my head in my hands. Thing with intellectuals; you have to give them hours to play things out logically before they even consider their gut feelings. It’s not that they’re not there, it’s just that you take someone with my temperament, mindset, and you have a person who thinks she’s a bitch for even considering for a moment what she wants. And what I wanted was to march right up to the CIC, tell Jeff that I couldn’t even make sense of what we were fighting about, and kiss him until he forgot too.

 _It’s not that easy_ , said the nasty little voice, in the corner of my head- the same voice that whispered in my ear day to day; _remember that stupid thing you did? So does everyone else. You’re so embarrassing. Why do you even try? World would be better off without you in it._

 _Nothing is_ , it repeated, and I sat there as always, silently taking the venomous criticism (what else was I to do? It was all I knew how), until another voice cut in amid the derisive hiss, reminded me, _no things worth keeping are._

I sat up slightly, lifting my head, blinking. The flash had been so vivid; I looked up half-expecting to be on Kahje again, sitting beneath the shade of one of the trees with Thane. Instead there were the metal walls and flickering screens of the surveillance room; dim and dulled to the quiet, ever-present hum of the drive core. I stood up, crossed the small space, leaned on the desk and sighed; attempting to conjure the image again. It eluded me now, receding into my subconscious mind. I backed away, stretched, rolled my neck to the side until it cracked, and sat once more on the edge of the bed.

 _No things worth keeping are_. Those words had once been a maxim of mine; but now they served mostly confusion. When did the difficulties for things worth keeping end, and the difficulties for things lost begin? It was a headache to try and contemplate; but lo, another quirk, I did prefer to tackle said headaches without hesitation. I wasn’t one who could simply push it aside and let it weigh on me while I attempted to throw myself into other things.

“ _Glenn; this is Pax. We’re dropping on Menae soon. I’d get down to the armory now, start prep._ ”

“Check. Thanks.” I sighed once more, rose from my perch, and left my retreat, strolling the short few strides to the lift. I bit back a gusty mutter of annoyance when the kid came rushing at me from down the CIC. “Are you going down for the mission?” she asked me, rocking slightly on her heels.

Ever since we’d picked her up on Eden Prime, she’d been following me like a puppy, asking about my life and what I’d done, even what my first name was, since everyone called me Glenn.

“You want to know something about me, kid? I prefer to _earn_ the privilege of names,” I’d snapped at that. That was how most of our conversations ended: she went a bridge too far (“Were you and Joker together? Why aren’t you now?” “Why do you have a torn ear?” “Do you remember your mom at all? What’s it like being an asari?”), I snarled something at her, and she moped around out of my sight for the rest of the day- and then the next morning dawned, and she’d be back to her bright and bubbly self, with a new round of questions for me.

Oh, would that I knew what I’d done to earn this.

I gave her a dry look while I waited on the elevator. “No, I heard the Reapers ceased their imperative of galactic annihilation and opened up a bunny shelter; we’re gonna go check it out.” I rolled my eyes, deadpanned; “Yes, I’m going down to offer my specialty to Shepard triaged, that being fucking shit up; shotgun sold separately.”

The kid blinked. “Can I help?” she asked, stretching out the long a in _can_.

“Yes, kid,” I said, stepping onto the (God bless, finally here) elevator. “You can stay out of everyone else’s way; on the ship, out of the action and out of the fire. Protecting civilian survivors is a priority; we don’t haul cannon fodder ass out of the crosshairs.”

“Good point. I can’t really fight all that well.” I nodded, with a very forced smile, punched the button for the shuttle bay. She stuck her arm between the closing doors. “Well…say hi to James, okay? Tell him good luck.”

I gritted my teeth, resisted the intense urge to roll my eyes into the back of my skull; said tightly, “Mohawk couldn’t tell a pendejo from a cojones. He’s a walking tank, kid, he’ll be fine.”

“Good point.” She paused, amended brightly; “I’ll tell him myself!” She squeezed into the elevator beside me, and I leaned on the wall with a heavy sigh, looking up to the ceiling above. Lord, give me the strength.

The kid eyed me brightly sideways as we slowly, slowly descended. “Why do you call me kid?”

“Because you’re a kid,” I told her, tersely.

“So it’s not an affectionate sisterly thing?” She questioned, cocking her head.

“Let me be clear: I don’t know you. I didn’t even know you existed until six days ago.”

“Six days, eighteen hours.”

“And those,” I said, through clenched teeth, “Have been the longest six days and eighteen hours of my life. You’re a grown adult-barely, and I thank benevolent gods for small mercies- you can fend for yourself. I have no obligation to keep in touch with you; contrary to what the vids would have you thinking- because believe it or not, _not_ everyone wants to develop a close, personal relationship with the half-sister they randomly bumped into on a top-secret extraction mission.”

“But it was like the galaxy brought us together!” the kid protested, grinning like an idiot. “I always wanted a sister. This could be fun.”

“Kid, I’ve been trying to forget for the better part of a year now about this side of the family. Nothing personal. Not your fault your father’s a lying, conniving son of a bitch.”

Uh-oh, now I’d done it, I’d gotten the pout. “Why do you hate Dad so much? You say all these awful things about him, but he was only ever a good father to me.”

“Well aren’t you a happy camper, then? You were the one with the functional family unit on some idyllic agrarian utopia,” I snapped, “You were the one with the normal childhood spent rolling around under a real sky, in real green grass, with real blue water and real sun. You weren’t sort-of raised by a gun-for-hire in the most crime-ridden steel trap in the galaxy, because-that same man you say was only ever a good father to you?- left you there, when you weren’t even as tall as his knee, and promised to come back.” I glared down her protruding bottom lip with as much force as I could muster, continued, “Now I don’t know if your mother knew about the work he did. Probably no, because anyone who did wouldn’t get within a hundred feet, much less have his babies. I’m not asking much, kid. I’m just asking you either accept the truth I’m telling you or ignore it on your own time; but _stop_ denying it to my face. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. You don’t have a fucking clue what I’ve been through.” I jabbed a finger, first at me, then at her. “Nathan Glenn made me from an asari to a human through inhumane in-vitro genetic experimentation, before I was born. Countless others died on his little Cerberus project; I was the only one that survived. When his conscience got the better of him, he dumped me on Omega and left my mother- his first wife, Jinore T’Lassita- to die, ran away, and started a new life.” I stepped back, returning her scowl ounce for ounce.

The lift doors opened, I started out for the armory- the others were already there, suiting up, putting last touches on weapons and chatting amongst themselves. I put on a bit of speed, to leave behind the irritating presence behind me, but something overloaded in my brain when I heard her mutter, “ _Just mad because he didn’t stay with you_.”

In a second, I’d whipped around and pinned her to the wall with a damning corona. “What’d you say, you little bitch?” I ground.

“Whoa, whoa, hey, calm down,” said Charlie, jogging forward, half-decked, with an empty rifle in hand.

“I will _not_ calm down,” I snapped; turning the fury her way, rounding on the pinned kid again. “Say it again, girlie. Let me hear it.”

She glared at me; stubborn, defiant, for a few short seconds. So markedly like me, but for the fact that I would’ve held out. “You’re jealous of me,” she said. “He left you and he had me.”

I shoved her harder to the wall, forcing the air out of her before walking slowly forward. “Let me make something lucidly clear, chica. I’m _not_ jealous of you. You’re a self-obsessed, entitled, arrogant, thickheaded brat who would change a light bulb by holding it still, standing there, and waiting for the world to revolve around her. You deny things because you don’t like the way they sound without even bothering to check yourself, and when that pisses people off, you assume it’s because they’re jealous of you.” I glared her down. “I’m _not_ jealous of you. I wouldn’t trade anything I know for some blissfully ignorant childhood. I’d rather have the name of the man who made my life and others’ a living hell than forget it all to live some life, with him as, quote end quote ‘a good father’. Check yourself. Check your facts, check your imperious little princess attitude, and watch your tone, before you offend someone even pissier and get your head cracked open.” I dropped the corona; let her fall down to the floor. “Facts are there,” I spat, “T’Soni has it all written down. If you’re still feeling skeptical you can check her terminals and get all the gory details.” I flicked the last of the dark energy away. “Better do it quick, though. Last I checked you’re on the fast track to the first shuttle off this frigate.” I turned and strode for my locker, ignoring the sounds of her getting to her feet, asking in a hurt voice, “What? You’re making me leave?”

Charlie sounded apologetic. “This is a high-priority command center; and we simply don’t have any space for extra bodies at this point if they’re not crucial to operations…”

“I can do something. I’ll carry messages.”

“We have a comms specialist.”

“I’ll help in the kitchens.”

“That’s what our mess sergeant is for.”

“I could help Doctor Chakwas in the med bay.”

“You can’t just drop and help in medical; you need certifications and training…”

“Could she maybe stay down in here, Commander? A lot to manage down here, Esteban and I could always use a bit of help…”

I rolled my eyes at the ongoing dialogue, and finished outfitting myself in my combat engineer’s getup, checking my amp and then moving to the weapons bench. I found my loadout (the two Paladins, each onto their appropriate thighs, and the Wraith, for when you really just need a boomstick), and watched as the kid stormed her way back onto the lift, looking thoroughly upset. Entitled princess, I thought to say, but instead I just shook my head.

“Sisters,” said John, with a shrug.

“Who needs ‘em?” I questioned (though I concede I would quickly change my attitude if, say, Paxton Shepard was my sister.)

Charlie finished suiting up, and tugged her assault rifle into place. “All right, team. Palaven’s getting slammed by Reaper forces- word is that the primarch is on the turian base on Menae; the largest moon. That’s where we’ll be landing.” She looked between us all. “There are Reaper forces here as well- we’ll be up against husks, cannibals, and anything else they’ve spun up. I hope you’ve done your reading. Load up the shuttle, let’s go.”

We all progressed into the shuttle, where Cortez sat waiting to take us down to the surface. I looked around, asked, “Where’s Javik?”

“He’s not coming this round,” said Paxton. “Still acclimating. He promises he’ll be ready to go for the next mission.”

I looked to Liara, who was fairly bouncing at this estimate. I smiled slightly, shook my head, and sat with my shotgun over my lap. Paxton was standing, holding onto one of the loops, a faraway look on her face. She stared ahead, thumb tracing a painted contour of her rifle- it wasn’t hard to imagine what she was thinking of now- I could hear in my head a voice clear as crystal; _I don’t know how long it’ll be before we see each other again. I’m going back home. I’ll try to make them listen…_

I blinked rapidly, clearing the illusion of a two-toned voice and a gentle hand tracing the lines of my face. That wasn’t the first time that had happened- ever since Javik had joined our minds to stabilize my meld; I’d been getting traces of people’s thoughts, feelings. It didn’t happen automatically, as I said, but if I was speculating enough about what they were thinking, I’d get flashes of it. It wasn’t the only odd thing- besides the meld, of course, not that I’d had the chance to try that yet- but now I could read the Prothean ciphers surrounding this odd device Liara and I had encountered with an effortless ease, and once in a while I caught myself cursing “ _Modi li_!” or “ _Ti klòch lanfè a_!”- which had the added effect of making translators glitch. Liara had surmised (quite excitedly) that I was speaking Prothean. “ _Li twò fichu bonè pou sa_ ,” I’d groused. Would I ever stop being marked by alien cultures?

Cortez brought me back to the present. The shuttle jarred violently and he informed the gathered squad, “The LZ is swarmed. I can’t land in this.”

“Take us in and open the doors,” Charlie ordered, moving to the hatch. As it opened, husks groaned down below, and other huge creatures that looked like corrupted batarians aimed their arms and started shooting. “Come in swinging!” she barked, and leapt to the ground.

I followed after her, charging clean into a crowd of husks and blowing them away with a powerful nova. My barriers depleted, I rolled aside into cover, and popped up to blow a hole through a so-called cannibal with the Wraith. The rest of the squad assumed their fighting rhythm, leaping straight into the battle dance with whatever they had.

I had to notice our current team had a prevalent lack of tech skills. John was a passible combat engineer, sure, and there was me; but I was more a biotic bruiser than anything else. Overriding these creatures’ implants could probably do fair damage. Somehow, I doubted Javik had a tech proficiency. I found myself missing the singing smell that announced Mordin’s overload; and a victorious “ _Scratch one_!” from Garrus.

Damn, though. Garrus said he was going home, and Palaven was a ball of fire above us, pelted with relentless, damning Reaper attacks. Now, it was more likely we’d see Garrus on the opposite side of a trench than back by our sides.

That just made me fight angrier.

When the last husk had fallen, Charlie straightened and called, “Move out!” We rushed as a mob towards a barricade, guarded by two turians. “Hold your fire, incoming friendlies!” one of them announced, and the doors dropped to let us into the base.

“If you’re looking for base command, General Corinthus is that way,” another soldier pointed. Charlie nodded, and led us through the rocky base- manned by few, I noticed, save those on the gates. “So few,” Liara murmured next to me, and I nodded. “They say Palaven’s got an eighty percent KIA ratio. It ain’t pretty.”

At last, we found a small half-room where a turian in heavy battle armor stood over a map, pointing soldiers away to different battlefield spots. When he turned and spotted us, his eyes widened marginally and he said, “Commander Shepard? We’d heard you were coming, but…” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“We’re here to extract Primarch Fedorian,” she said, stepping up into the small command center. “The Council races are calling a war summit.”

General Corinthus shook his head. “Primarch Fedorian is dead. His shuttle was shot down an hour ago trying to leave Palaven.”

Charlie blinked. “Then what do we do?”

“The Hierarchy provides very clear rules of succession,” I put in, “We just need to know who’s next in line.”

The general looked up, clearly impressed. “Yes, that’s right,” he said, “But the casualty rates are so high, and the comms are down- the Hierarchy is in chaos. There’s no way to tell who’s next in line, until we can get the comm tower back online. The last team I sent there came back gutted. It’s been overrun by husks.”

Charlie pulled her rifle. “We’ll go clear it out. You try to find out who’s next; and we’ll get them out of here.”

The general nodded to us. “Good luck. And commander?”

Charlie turned to him.

“Good to have you here.”

She nodded, and then she gestured for us to move out towards one of the outer gates; not far from which a large radio spire stood up into the atmosphere.

“They’ll try to mob you,” said John, as we approached the door. “Don’t let them swarm- if you see someone else getting overrun, break it up. As soon as you’re surrounded, you’re dead.”

The gates dropped, and we charged.

There were plenty of husks, as promised- accompanied by a few of those cannibals. It was out of the corner of my eye that I saw something else.

Another Reaper creature was popping up from behind cover of jagged rocks, firing a rifle at us and screeching out commands to the other fodder in unnerving metallic screams.

“Holy _shit,_ ” James ground it. “It…it looks like a turian.”

“It isn’t,” I broke in, unwilling to let reluctance to shoot set in. “Not anymore. It’s a Reaper servant, and it’s looking for a hole in its head.” Without hesitation I charged, knocking the thing a few feet back and down a few notches, ending it with a vicious curbstomp to the head. The immediate area was cleared afterwards, and we were left staring at the comms tower. “We’ve got to send someone up to make repairs,” Charlie declared, then turning to eyeball us all before she pointed to me. “Echo, get up there.”

“Aye aye,” I said, getting up onto the ladder and clambering my way up. “Try to keep the husks off of me.”

As soon as I got up, I opened the panel and pulled up my omni-tool. I uncrossed a few wires, connected a few broken circuits, bypassed a breakdown protocol and sparked it to reconnect the channels.

At once the tower started humming; transmitting once again. I shut the panel and jumped down.

“ _Commander Shepard, can you hear me? The comms tower is back on._ ”

“I hear you, General Corinthus,” said Charlie, tossing out a singularity and warping those caught in it to all hell.

“ _I’m raising Palaven Command right now. I’ll find out who’s next in line in a few minutes.”_

“My team and I’ll clear this zone until then,” she replied, and dropped the channel to continue the fight.

It seemed like brief seconds later before his voice came up again: “ _Commander Shepard, I’ve found him. Can you get back into the base?”_

“On my way,” she replied, and then signaled to move back into the safety of the walls. I stopped at the doors to count the squad as they rushed in- Liara, James, John, Pax, and Charlie. I followed them inside at last, and doubled over to breathe as soon as the doors closed behind us.

Charlie was already on her way back to General Corinthus’ spot; and once we arrived he straightened to hail us. “What’s the story, General?” Charlie bent over his interface, looking intently at his notes.

“The next primarch is General Adrien Victus,” he told us, “He’s fighting right here on Menae- at least, that was the story as of this morning. I’ve been trying to raise him over comms, but the channel’s completely shot.”

“How are we gonna find him, then?” Paxton questioned, crossing her arms.

“I’m on it, Pax, we’ll get you the primarch.” The sight was probably comical, everyone in the squad’s heads turning all as one to the new voice. And sure enough, no illusion, Garrus Vakarian stood there with his rifle crossed his body, truly, a sight for sore eyes.

“Garrus,” said Paxton, moving quickly to the front and then pausing, shaking his hand when he offered it, smiling with a bit of a flush when he covered her hand with both of his. “I thought you’d be on Palaven. It’s…good to see you.”

 _That’s the understatement of the century,_ my internal monologue deadpanned, and I raised my eyebrows when James looked to me and asked, “Who’s that?”

“Him?” I clarified. “Garrus Vakarian. He’s a very old friend of the Shepard family. Liara and he go back too. I’ve fought with him before, just not as long as everyone else.” I paused. “You’ll probably like him, you know.”

Garrus made the rounds with the rest of us, greeting the other Shepards, nodding to Liara, and hailing me as well when I pulled off the helmet. “Wearing the Alliance colors, now, Glenn?”

“It’s a special position,” I said, shaking his hand, quite brief in comparison to the one Pax had been afforded. “Turns out if you insult a fleet admiral well enough, he’ll give you a job. You look like you’ve seen a bit of wear and tear, Vakarian.”

“And you,” he said, eyeballing the jagged, paling line on my right cheek. “Trying to impress any krogan? That’s impressive.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, rolling my eyes, “Cerberus got me on that count.”

It was then that our channel was picked up, and Joker popped up on the other line. “Hey, uh, Commander? The _Normandy_ ’s…possessed, systems are shutting off and on, lights are flickering- it’s like she’s haunted!”

Charlie blinked at this new development. “We may need to bug out; and we can’t have the _Normandy_ malfunctioning. Liara, can you go investigate?”

“Of course, Shepard.” She turned, and pulled up a radio channel to the _Normandy._ I looked to Garrus, sighed resignedly, and said, “Before you ask- no, Joker and I are no longer an item; he said unkind things and I’d rather not talk about it.”

Garrus blinked. “All right. Duly noted.” For once, he proved not to pursue the subject. _Praise Jesus, maybe one day when this is over I’ll just move to Palaven._

General Corinthus looked up from his interface, shaking his head. “I can’t raise the primarch.”

Charlie nodded. “Then I’m going on foot.” She started to go, stopped, and turned back. “You coming with, Garrus?”

Garrus popped a used heat sink and cocked his rifle. “You kidding? I’m right behind you.”

Charlie nodded; then gestured to move out. We crossed the camp, exited out the north side- just then a Reaper meteor hit not far ahead of us, and through the fires a huge shape arose; taller than any of us, an indeterminate jumble of features. It roared, and charged straight at me.

The first thing that happened was a few shots from rifles- they seemed to fall on the creature like irritating flies, and James’ spray of rifle fire did nothing to deter it. It charged at me, blotting out the fires on Palaven above, roaring a huge roar. So, of course, I did the sensible thing.

I planted my feet squarely apart, and “ _RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH_ ”-ed right back at it.

The creature halted completely in its tracks, perhaps bewildered by this sudden show of opposition. I gave it a single defiant glare, and then pulled a biotic charge.

The thing was goddamned _tough._ I think I bounced right off of it- but I’d done my damage. The creature staggered, and a singularity combined with a warp tore it clean apart.

“What the _hell_ was that?” John said, as we gathered round to examine it.

“Looks like a turian head,” muttered Garrus. “But the rest of the body?”

I cocked my head, then almost gagged. “Krogan.”

“What?” the others looked up to me.

“Look,” I pointed. “Those implants are- were regulating the conflicting body acids. You can see, now, it’s…starting to disintegrate completely.”

The abdomen collapsed in on itself, as if to prove my point, with a bubble and a hiss, and the others stepped hurriedly back with utterances of extreme disgust.

“That might have been why it stopped,” I said, “Some kind of left-over tendency. I exerted dominance; in an old life that would’ve made him pause.”

A moment of silence.

“We need to keep moving,” Charlie ruled, finally, looking to Garrus. “Where did you last see Victus?”

“I was fighting with him just this morning,” he replied. “Follow me; I’ll take you to the north barricade.” We fell in to follow the turian on the path along the rocks.

After a while James spoke: “Damn, look at Palaven.”

“You see that orange spot? The big one,” Garrus said. “That’s where I was born.” He turned back. “Was Earth this bad?”

John answered, darkly, “Worse.”

Garrus offered no reply, turning back to the front to lead on.

He announced we were getting close, when we rounded a huge outcrop of rock and saw another gate up in the distance. Not ten seconds later Reaper meteors zoomed into the base and made impact.

Charlie took off at a dead sprint. “ _Move_! I’m not losing another primarch!”

We ran straight into the camp, diving into cover and pulling guns. There were Reaper creatures everywhere. “Clear out this zone!” Charlie ordered, and we set to our commands, fighting until there were none left, until she announced an all-clear and Garrus led us forward to a turian general in dark red. He had a pale carapace; and white colonial markings painted onto his face. “Vakarian, where the hell did you go?” he asked.

“The left flank,” he responded, drily. “I believe your exact words were, ‘get that thing the hell off my men’?”

Victus nodded. “Appreciate it.” he turned. “Commander Shepard? You were coming for the primarch. He…”

“Is right in front of me,” Charlie finished.

I stepped forward. “Fedorian is dead, sir. By order of the hierarchy, you are the new primarch of Palaven. On behalf of the Systems Alliance, we’re here to extract you to a Council summit.”

_There. I hope that sounded official enough._

Victus blinked, numbly. He turned around, faced his burning planet. “…I’m the primarch?” he asked. “But…I’m a general. A fighting man. I…I hate politicians.”

“Which is what makes you perfect for this job, primarch,” said Paxton. “This is wartime. We need men like you, who’ve been through that hell.”

_Let it never be said politicians are good candidates for political positions._

Victus looked to his side. “Just…let me say goodbye to my men,” he said, resignedly, and moved off to the side. Charlie radioed in the shuttle, and Garrus and Pax stepped up to Victus’ spot, looking up at the burning planet above.

“Look at this,” he muttered. “And they want my opinion on how to stop it?” he shook his head. “Victus leaves, and there’s a good chance we lose this moon.”

“We leave him down here, and there’s a good chance we lose the war,” Paxton retorted. There was a long silence, before Garrus turned back to her. “I know. It’s just…hard to leave.”

“It was hard to leave Earth.”

A brief silence, and then he turned completely, to face her. She did as well, and he took her hands again, with both of his. “I’m with you, Pax. Wherever we’re going; you can count me in.”

“I couldn’t think of anyone else to have my back, walking into hell,” she said, with a smile.”

I knew what he was going to say, just before he said it: “You do realize this plan has me walking into hell, too?”

The both of them laughed softly, a moment of solace in the middle of hell, and as one, their voices declared, “Just like old times.”


	6. Apparent New Relations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Glenn: Human/Asari Comparison- Hayley Atwell edition](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/55194004478/another-version-of-my-picture)
> 
>  
> 
> Ahhh, another update! c: As always, it belongs to Bioware and not me.
> 
> So this chapter is a bit of a filler, but I needed to kick a few plot points into gear; and this was just the best way to do that. Also, the galaxy's favorite engineers are back. So enjoy the update, and watch for the next one soon!

When we got back to the _Normandy,_ my first task was to brief Admiral Hackett on our success in extracting the turian primarch- however, before I could call him up, Councilor Tevos rang and said _nope, sorry, asari aren’t gonna be there._

 _Godam asari_ , I muttered, in my very best Zaeed Massani, and called up Admiral Hackett.

“Staff Lieutenant,” he said, assuming his parade rest when he spotted me on the QEC.

“We got the primarch, Admiral,” I said, standing at attention. “The war summit is convening in the Annos Basin in a little over a week. The asari won’t be joining us.”

Hackett waited for me to elaborate. “The primarch has offered support on Earth,” I said, “But first he wants krogan boots on Palaven. The salarians…will also be there, sir, and the Councilor specifically stated that there was too much bad blood between them; and withdrew her support.”

“That’s regrettable,” Hackett said, “If we don’t stand together then we’re all going to meet our end.”

“I know, sir,” I sighed. “These are thousand-year-old grudges; and I’d hope we could forget them in the face of a threat that could be the bane of all our existence.” I straightened up. “I’ll do my best to keep smooth relations, sir; we’ll need all the help we can get.”

“Good,” he nodded. “And Glenn…” a hologram pulled up by the side, and I looked and saw the Prothean device there. “We’ve started construction on this…we’re calling it Project Crucible.”

I looked it over, nodded. “Understood, sir.”

“Keep me posted,” he said, “Hackett out.”

As his image dissolved on the QEC, I turned to see Charlie behind me, dressed in her civvies. “You ready to go?”

“Are we docking at the Citadel?” I asked, stepping out into the war room.

Charlie nodded.

“What’s our agenda again?” I asked, leading her out and standing in the scanner belaying our way to the CIC. “We drop off the family I never knew I had and never wanted, and then it’s business as usual on the Citadel?”

She nodded. “I’ll be joining John at Huerta. Dropping in on Kaidan, and-”

“Visiting with Thane?” I questioned, turning back as she moved through the scanner as well. She gave me a look, and I shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine. You can tell me that. I mean, we all know each other here, and it was kind of the worst-kept secret on the SR-2.” I stopped, shook my head, cleared my throat. “Well, what I mean to say is…it’s good he has you. And good you have him. I…I wish only the best for you two.”

She cocked her eyebrow. “Really? You gave us some pretty odd looks before.”

“Yeah; well, I mean, he _was_ my teacher-” I stammered, “though I’d be lying if I said that watching him demonstrate the stretches wasn’t damned good incentive- actually, the leather pants thing is probably his fault, come to think of it…anyway.” I stopped short, squeezing my eyes shut, shaking my head. “Yeah. It was…kind of weird to think about it at first. But you two fit. And…you look happy together. And…I hope that you are. Help me, Charles, I’m terrible at this.”

“You’re doing fine, Glenn,” she said- smiling, warmly. Like she did at her old friends, her siblings. Had I really made it into that status, for her? Somehow, I felt honored.

At last we docked, and exited to the bay to make our way to customs, Rhaella shuffling sadly along in tow. “Cheer up, kid, you’ll probably get an apartment,” I said, striding along completely untroubled. In fact, it was a nice day on the Citadel.

Rhaella made no reply, just moped even harder and trailed along after Charlie and me.

The emergency civilian housing was not far, and at last after a long, boring wait in the queue, it was our turn.

“May I help you?” the salarian looked up at us with large eyes, blinking slowly.

“Yeah, dropping this one off,” I said, jerking a thumb at the kid. “We picked her up on Eden Prime; just need to get her processed and we’ll be good to go.”

“Name?” the salarian questioned, looking to his keyboard.

“Rhaella Glenn,” I said, as Rhaella was too preoccupied moping to answer.

He siphoned through the records. “Ah, yes, I see. Eden Prime…ah.” He paused, and looked up to me. “Are there any relatives here for her to reside with?”

I paused. “Uh…no. She’s twenty.”

The salarian shook his head, powering off the interface. “Then I’m sorry, ma’am, she’s too young. The cutoff age for all human immigrants here is twenty-one.”

I blinked again. “That’s…that’s less than a few months off, come on.”

He shook his head. “She will have to go to her closest relatives, assuming she has any. Otherwise, she will have to take up residence in our refugee shelter until she turns twenty-one. Does she have any remaining relations?”

I sighed, pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes tightly shut. “That’d be me.”

“Name?”

“M…Glenn Dantus T’Lassita.”

He typed that in, frowned. “It’s coming up inconclusive.”

“Oh; it’s all in the surname field. Try typing it there.”

He tried it again, and then I saw my record pop up. He briefly compared me to my photo, and nodded. “Systems Alliance Navy; Staff Lieutenant…SSV _Normandy._ Your relation?”

“Half-sister,” I said. “You’re sure there’s nowhere else for her to go?”

He shook his head. “No. Please move along, I have a lot of people to assist. Good day.” He went back down to his keyboard.

The three of us moved aside, Rhaella looking widely between us now, me standing with my jaw set (and now _I_ was the one about to cry.) “What do we do?” I asked, flatly, and Charlie shrugged.

“Well, she’ll have to stay with us, at least until she’s twenty-one,” she looked to the girl. “Rhaella, you’ll have to stay down in the shuttle bay with Cortez and Vega. Help them out when they need it, all right?”

Rhaella was back to bouncing. “Yes, ma’am!” she chirped, then asked, “What about clothes? I’ve only got one set.”

I sighed heavily and handed her a few credit chits. “Go crazy.”

“Bye, sis!” she jumped up and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek, and then bounced away, leaving me to mop at my cheek and groan. “Be back by nine!” I called after her, and she offered me only a wave to tell me she’d heard.

I sighed. “Ugh. This is just gonna become a regular thing…isn’t it?”

Charlie smiled at me. “Sisters can be fun.”

“Yeah, if they go sniping with you. This one wants to have sleepovers with Traynor.”

Charlie shook her head at me, smiling again. “Come on then, lieutenant.”

“Aye aye,” I sighed, _at least following orders is easy- beginning to see the appeal of military life._

Back at the docking bay; we ran into John and Pax, who had been delayed on their way to Huerta by the request of an ANN reporter named Diana Allers, requesting a place on the ship. Charlie fast-approved the request, after shooting her siblings a glare that I took to mean _no punching._

And, to speak of the devil, a voice called out in our direction- “Commander Shepard! The people have questions!”

The Shepards froze as a trio.

“Is that al-Jilani?” John asked, through his teeth, looking the picture of dread.

I snuck a peek. “Yeah. And she’s coming over here.”

Paxton cursed, and then again in sync, the Shepards turned with very forced looks of indifference.

“Commander Shepard,” the reporter woman said- oh, and I could see it now, she was very punchable. “The reports were that you were on Earth when the Reapers hit. How do you justify running away while millions of people die? Is this what we can expect from the Alliance-”

Paxton and John had exchanged a look as soon as she started talking- teeth gritting, fists balling; finally the stress broke Paxton and she muttered, “I’ve had _god_ damned enough of your tabloid journalism,” she snapped, and threw a punch that al-Jilani ducked. “Not this time, you military thug!” she declared, fists circling in front of her, and was promptly taken out by a solid head-butt from John.

Paxton knelt in front of her. “I came here to get help for Earth, not answer your petty questions. Stay down.” She and John stepped off without another word.

Charlie looked after them, with an expression of mild sadness, and then leaned down to help the disoriented reporter to her feet. “I’m sorry about them,” she said, quietly.

Khalisah, now, looked close to tears. “Before they cut the feeds…there were so many dead…”

Charlie put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m gonna stop the Reapers or die trying, but I need your help. Keep asking the tough questions. Don’t let the Council forget about Earth.”

Khalisah hesitated- then, slowly, she nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, I…I will.” She started away, then stopped. “Shepard?”

Charlie raised her eyebrows.

“Maybe we haven’t always seen eye to eye,” she conceded. “I…I’m glad you’re on our side.”

She left us.

I stared at Charlie, blinked. From down the hall, John called, “You coming, Charlie?” Charlie jerked out of her reverie, and hurried down the hall to catch the lift to Huerta, where she and John were bound to visit with their sweethearts; and then to the emergency housing, for Pax, I imagined- Garrus had announced he was going to try to help the refugees there. James was bound for Purgatory, and Liara had stayed aboard to try and help the malfunctioning systems.

Suddenly, over my earpiece, Joker’s frantic voice came in. “ _Hey, Shepard? Anyone? EDI just went offline!”_

I patched in. “ _Relax, everyone, I’ve got this.”_

“ _Acknowledged, Glenn. Thanks,”_ Charlie said. I turned back for the _Normandy,_ amid silence over the channel. “What happened?” there was no reply, and I snapped, “Come on, Joker, we’re all grown-ups here. If it helps you I can implement my rank and order you to explain the situation, Flight Lieutenant.”

There was continued radio silence, then finally he said, grudgingly: “The systems were still copping out. Liara was trying to fix them, but we couldn’t get anything- and then EDI just went completely offline, and everything went through a hard reboot.”

“I’ll check it out at the AI Core,” I replied, and stepped through the airlock, moving down the CIC and taking the lift. The lights flickered on and off as I went, and when it came to my floor it juddered to an unsteady halt. I stepped out and through the med bay, found Adams and a few other of the ship staff there with fire extinguishers.

“Something catch fire in here?” I asked.

Adams sprayed inside again for good measure. “Just a bit of an electrical fire. A few things overloaded, a couple wires went up.”

“Is it under control?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, waving a hand at the smoke and extinguisher in the air. “Can’t say what for the systems, though.”

I walked marginally forward, waved away the smog, coughing. “EDI? Talk to me.”

“Is there something you need, Glenn?” a hint of orange was what I saw first, and then Eva Coré’s metallic body, newly polished, stepped up towards me.

All of us gaped. I pressed my earpiece. “Team? We’re good here.” I dropped the channel then, looked to EDI, and shook my head. “You…impossible…how?”

She tilted her head. “In probing its databanks, I realized I was able to assume control of this body.”

I blinked, trying to will away the _assuming control_ piece, and asked, “Well…why? What’s your motive?”

“The _Normandy_ is not adapted to all combat situations,” she said. “I concluded that with this platform, I could perhaps accompany you- the squad- into circumstances where the ship itself is not ideal.”

I looked around. “Are you still…in the _Normandy_?” I asked.

“The _Normandy_ is my eyes and ears,” she said. “Only a margin of my processing power is put into use of this platform.”

I nodded. “All right,” I sighed, scrubbing at my forehead. “Just…next time, tell us when you’re gonna do something like this, okay? You had us all worried.”

EDI blinked. “I did not wish to disturb the crew- any attempts to help would have been negated by reaction time.”

I sighed. “Right.” I smiled wearily, and pressed my earpiece again. “All right, squad, here’s the debrief: EDI’s, and I quote, ‘assumed control’ of the Eva-bot, and she wants to join us on our missions.”

Garrus chimed in. “Does that thing fight reliably? The mech, I mean.”

“No way to tell until we take her out for a test run,” I said, looking back, momentarily dropping the channel. “Do you have any way to run tests?”

EDI assumed a parade rest. “I will run diagnostics analyzing this platform’s capabilities.” She stood for a moment. “Complete,” she said. “As you said, Glenn, we will not know fully how this platform performs in combat; but as of now it seems…adequate.”

I patched back in. “The diagnostics came back positive.”

“ _All right. Hold tight and we can look at this when I get back. Good work, LT._ ”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, and dropped the frequency.

EDI smiled at me. “I will take this platform up to the bridge. I am sure Jeff will want to see it.”

I felt a sudden hot spike in my chest- a searing burn that had me clenching my fists, gritting my teeth, _jealousy._ “On that we can agree,” I muttered, and followed her up.

Night was falling- and everyone was getting back, fanning out to return to their posts. Charlie stopped at the bridge and stepped inside, though I hung back, bracing on the lintel and crossing my arms.

“Hey, Commander, check out my copilot!” Joker spun his chair around, gesturing at EDI in the copilot’s seat like a kid at a candy store.

Charlie crossed her arms. “So EDI got herself into the new body, without _any_ help from you?”

Joker scoffed. “Put it this way- if I knew EDI was going to install herself into a sexy robot body, would I have been able to keep quiet about it?” he turned, picture-framed her where she sat, _in my seat-_ “Look at that! I would’ve baked a cake.”

EDI glanced, sideways. “I am…right here, Jeff.”

“Yes you are, EDI,” he chuckled, turning back to the UI. “Yes you are.”

My noise of disgust might have carried more than I intended, because he turned in his seat to scowl at me, lifting an eyebrow as if to say, _got a problem?_

I sneered back at him, then turned to the airlock when it hissed open again. Rhaella came inside chattering happily, carrying a few bags, talking excitedly to- _Gabby Daniels?_ Ken Donnelly was just behind, carrying shopping bags on both arms, looking dead bored out of his wits and about ready to have an engineering board under his fingers.

“Kenneth?” I blurted, “Gabby? Well, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Glenn!” Ken dropped the bags at once and came right for me, arms wide open. I stepped into the engineer’s bear hug, and let him whirl me around and give me a noisy kiss on the cheek- which, to my deep satisfaction, had Joker glaring even harder, this time red in the face.

“Commander Shepard had us pardoned,” said Gabby, who had Rhaella’s arm like they were already best friends, I noticed.

“Spectre’s authority,” Ken added, nodding, still with an arm around me, squeezing me briefly to his side. “We’re reporting back to our positions in engineering.”

I disentangled myself from the embrace, grinning. “It’ll be damned good to have you back. Here, let me show you down to your old spot.” As we walked away, I turned around briefly, made sure Joker was looking, and grabbed Ken’s ass on the way down.

Of course, as soon as we were in the lift; it was back to business as usual- poking each other in the arm, making dates for Skyllian Five and single-malt scotch in the subdecks, and calling each other “Scottish brother/sister” (Glenn was an old name; meant “from the valley” or some shit.) Rhaella watched us curiously as the lift descended, having picked up the bags Ken had dropped. “So Joker looked like he was about to blow a fuse,” Ken spoke, “Are you and he still…?”

“No,” I shook my head, “No, we hit a bump in the road.”

“Really?” he frowned. “I remember, everyone was putting wagers on you two, back in the day. Lot of people wanted to see you together.”

“Yeah,” I muttered, “And it was great; up until I got stranded from our ship for six months, somehow missed the messages he claimed to have sent me, came back and got called a whore.”

Ken and Gabby blurted as one, “ _What_?”

“Yeah,” I repeated, “Apparently, not answering his calls means I’ve been railing everything in my sight for the past six months.”

Ken scowled darkly. Then he punched the button for level 2. “I’m gonna go break him.”

“Ken,” Gabby started, giving him an admonishing look, but it was halfhearted, and she was frowning too.

“What the bloody hell, he _said_ that to you?” Ken looked to me, wearing what I called the Face of Fury (the universal Scottish look that meant, _dammit, where’s my face paint._ )

I sighed, shrugged. “To my face, at least.”

“ _Goddammit_ ,” he muttered, repeatedly punching the button for level 2.

The door opened first at the shuttle bay, where Rhaella and Gabby got off, regarding us with a nervous exchange of _they’re going to make trouble, is it really any use to try and stop them?_ Then, the lift doors closed and Ken’s fury seemed to fade (anger comes and goes quickly, for us Scottish types.) He leaned against the lift wall as it slowly hummed back up. “Bloody hell,” he sighed, finally.

“Could say that again,” I said, looking tiredly at my feet.

“Bloody hell,” he repeated, straightening back up. “He said something like that; figured there’d be more than just a measly bruise on him.”

“It was pretty solid the first few days,” I confessed.

“Hope you got him good,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “Back of the hand. Right across his right side. Stung so hard I thought I’d chipped his bones. Pretty satisfying, at the time, but no one really understands why I did it. Kind of out of context, no one saw what he said in the first place- now pretty much everyone on the ship’s got me pegged for ‘Hackett’s psychotic eyes and ears.’” I shrugged. “Back to square one, really, but this time I report to somebody.”

Ken looked at me, troubled. “That’s bollocks,” he declared, finally, crossing his arms.

I shrugged. “It’s been the same since we crawled out of the primordial muck. When in doubt, assume the guy is right.” I sighed. “And…when there threatens to be evidence that the ladies are in the right, ignore it.”

Ken seemed to be in the middle of a revelation- when he finally looked back at me, he had puppy eyes, and he sighed. “That’s shitty. You want to do something? We’ve still got an hour before curfew.”

I bit on the inside of my cheek, humming thoughtfully. “Hoodie shopping?” I suggested. “I need a hoodie.”

“Hoodies first, scotch later?” he added, hopefully.

“And poker,” I said, “Of course. Let’s go.”

And so we went- the next few hours were spent in good company, and I could almost forget- with a cozy zip hoodie bearing an Alliance Special Forces logo and a game of poker, with friends, over single-malt (and plenty of ribbing to go along with it) - how badly my personal life was going. But, of course, as is the rule of life, all good things must come to an end, and it was back to business.

Charlie didn’t come back until much later, when most of our shifts were over and we were drifting off to bed. I was awake still, putting reports together on the CIC, with the help of Glyph. I looked up when the airlock hissed open, and she came striding inside looking absolutely _beat._ I knew she’d probably been bombarded with more stuff while out. At least she’d gotten to see Thane, I hoped. I’d have to visit again, when I was able.

“Long day, skipper?” I called. She walked over to me before she replied; which told me she was even more tired than I’d previously thought. “Exhausted,” she sighed. “Glad it’s over. How’s Primarch Victus settling in?”

“He’s fine,” I said, “Just hanging out in the war room. I checked in with Hackett, compared notes with the diplomatic vessels- they’re all waiting in the Annos Basin, near Sur’Kesh. We’re ready to meet with them at any time.”

Charlie nodded. “Good. Good. I met with Udina. We should get that meeting going as soon as possible.”

“One thing, though,” I spoke up, “Traynor picked up an odd frequency- Grissom Academy is requesting evacuation.”

“It’s still open?” Charlie frowned.

“Only a few students still there- some of them are running prototypes for the Alliance. Some of them are being trained as biotic special forces.”

“They’re training teenagers for the field?” now the frown was here even deeper.

“Look, whatever it is, the Reapers are closing on their sector and they were putting out the distress call- a turian patrol answered it. At least, that’s what Cerberus wants us to think.”

Charlie froze. “Cerberus?”

“Yeah. Remember when the Illusive Man faked that turian patrol signal before? This is the same encryption. Traynor thought she heard something off, and she and EDI found the falsified signal.”

“Which, if Cerberus sent out that fake signal…”

“Grissom Academy is under attack,” I said.

Charlie needed only a moment to think. “Joker! Set a course for Grissom Academy immediately. Glenn, relay to the rest of the squad to be prepared to go immediately after we get there. We’re getting those kids out, so help me, or I’ll have the Illusive Man’s head.”

“Harsh,” I remarked, “For you, Charles.”

“They’re kids, Lieutenant,” she sighed, scrubbing at her face and then hurrying forward to the lift. “Be sure to get the word out.”

“Aye aye,” I said, and turned back to my terminal. I watched after her as she stepped away into the lift, and then shook my head at the metabolic scans up on my terminal. _Warning: stress levels rising._

Brows knitting, I brought up the message feature and began typing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my sister provided an interesting idea for me- now I can't stop thinking of doing a Star Trek Reboot AU with the crew of the _Normandy_. Sound off in the comments, your opinions about that? I, for one, can most certainly see Glenn in a Spock-type role: a child of two worlds, eh?


	7. An Emergency Evacuation then Leading to the Discovery of an Old Friend with a New (Out)look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So later today I'm off to summer camp, and I won't be back until Friday, but I'm leaving you with a double update! Hoping that will keep you satisfied...heh. Enjoy these two chapters- they belong to Bioware, as always and of course, and I will see you people soon. :)
> 
> [Excerpt from "Mass Effect: Character Essays (Glenn)"](http://the-motherfucking-joker.tumblr.com/post/55434777582/from-mass-effect-character-essays-glenn-she)

The way to the Petra Nebula was a few hours of sleep for me and the team; then, we were being woken, driven to the shuttle bay to suit up and prepare to go.

I checked for Charlie; as she was nowhere to be found- finally, I located her standing with a suited-up EDI in the cockpit, behind Joker’s chair.

“The place is boarded up with Cerberus fighters,” he sighed, fingers dancing on the interface.

Charlie pursed her lips in thought. “Can you give us a distraction?” already anticipating his answer, she turned and beckoned EDI and me after her.

Joker’s answer rang against our backs: “Boy, _can_ I!”

As we puttered out in our shuttle, the _Normandy_ peeled off to flag the Cerberus fighters and pull them out of the way. Cortez piloted the shuttle down into their bay, and opened the doors to let us out. We came out two stronger; Javik and EDI added to our ranks, hefting their rifles and following ways in. We moved seamlessly into cover, quietly peeking out at the Cerberus troopers in the way of us and the office ahead. “ _Attention; students of Grissom Academy. We do not have to hurt you- the Alliance has failed you, Cerberus will keep you safe._ ”

I blinked. “Sounds like Cerberus hacked their PA system.” I pulled up my omni-tool. “I’ll see what I can do to get those bastards off the air-”

“Shepard, I have blocked their access to the intercom,” EDI broke in.

Charlie nodded. “Good work, EDI.”

I shut my mouth, letting my omni-tool drop, my jaw setting.

“Any orders on how we want to clear the hallway?” Garrus whispered, as we bowed heads into the huddle.

“I could toss a grenade,” James offered.

“Yeah, and rip whoever might be hiding in that office to shreds,” I snorted. “We’ll do it like we always do; two headshots and a biotic charge before they even know what’s coming; singularity and turkey-shoot the rest.”

“If we’re going to check for survivors, we can’t risk them getting a warning off in their comms,” Paxton spoke, checking briefly over our cover to make sure our enemy was still oblivious.

“If you want, I can-”

“Shepard, I’ve performed a brief check on their systems. It appears they have uploaded a virus to the school’s mainframe. I could disable it; and in doing so disrupt their local communications.”

Charlie blinked at her, then nodded. “Uh…yeah, EDI, by all means. Go ahead.”

“Already in progress.”

I realized my mouth was still open, so I closed it.

“That just leaves the squad up the hall here,” John spoke.

“I can also lock the doors to avoid any reinforcements arriving,” EDI put in.

I gritted my teeth. “All right. Should we go kill the bad guys now, or do you have a magic robot fix for _that_ one, too?”

EDI blinked at me, nonplussed. “I doubt that I could hack an organic as I could a synthetic target.”

“God dammit,” I muttered, “Charles, just let me go kill something.”

Charlie turned on our comms channel. “Alfa protocol.”

The crack of two sniper rifles were instantly audible; and two heads down the hall exploded like overripe melons. I charged immediately, striking through one trooper and pulling the shield from the hands of another- I went in to strike with the omni-blade, but shrieked and flew back, my entire front side on fire, as something burned the Cerberus trooper where he stood.

In a second, someone was over me; and an impact struck my gut, driving the breath out of me. The burn dissolved, though, and when my vision refocused I saw Garrus popping a heat sink. He offered me a hand up. “Cryo ammo. I figured that would neutralize the incinerate.”

“Incinerate?” I sat up, scowling. “Wait, who the fuck even has an incinerative capability in this squad? As far as I knew it was just me and John. And if he wanted to accidentally burn me to death, he could’ve done it before.” I staggered up to my feet, nodding brusquely at Garrus and dusting the charred materials off my front.

Charlie looked around. “We don’t pull incinerates that close to squadmates. Anyone?”

Javik looked blankly at her. “I am not accustomed with your primitive combat engineering.”

I thought I heard Garrus mutter something under his breath, disgruntled. Paxton patted his arm.

EDI stepped forward. “My apologies; Shepard. I had intended to reinforce Glenn’s combat shields to sustain the proximity of the blast. When I realized her armor did not implement shields, it was too late.”

“My apologies, _Shepard_?” I snapped. “Oh, sorry, not that I almost got my face burned off. I could’ve goddamn died- and I _do_ have shields, but they’re networked away from nosy hacking attempts like so.” I waved a hand, scowling. “You don’t just pull that kind of stunt without telling everyone else, this isn’t a one-man show.”

“The benefits of the attack would have been negated by reaction times-”

“No, you know what, shut the hell up!” I was surprised at my own response- maybe my heart was still hammering from how close I’d come to completely burning up, Mordin’s words were rushing through my ears, and subsidiary feelings were bubbling to the surface. “ _You_ were the one who wanted to join a team of organics- news flash, we can’t _network._ You want to undermine me on the _Normandy_? Fine, I got my own gig. Maybe you can hack stuff at quantum speeds while I’m still discussing the benefits with the skipper. Maybe you’re a sexy chrome fembot that’s better-looking than me; _fine._ But I will _not_ stand here and have _my_ health and safety in a firefight treated like a variable in a cost-benefit analysis. _You’re_ supposed to be my squad, I have to trust you with my _life,_ and I can and will not do that if your methods taking out enemy soldiers involve the use of us as disposable pawns.”

“Synthetics have no respect for the value of a life,” Javik said, contemptibly.

Charlie put her hand up, moving between us. “Hey, hey, take a breath. EDI, we can’t pull strikes that close to teammates without coordination. Lieutenant, you need to take a breath.”

“Well, _shit_ , that’s great- I have your permission to live.” My fists balled at my side. “So I’m not allowed to get pissed over getting called a whore; why should I be mad your shiny new infiltration unit nearly got me killed?”

“ _Cool it,_ LT,” Charlie snapped, shoving me back by one shoulder. “You are a goddamned Vanguard- high risk, high reward. Get over it.”

I pulled my pistol in a second, fired a shot that shaved a notch into her temple.

“I’m sorry,” I sneered, amid the stunned silence of my comrades. “I meant to put your shields up.” I holstered the sidearm, and stormed my way ahead. I halted by the broken office door, said, “Look, I haven’t been on this ship as long as Liara, or Garrus, or Chakwas, or Joker. I get it. They’re the ones who’ve been here since the beginning. But I have earned my place here just as much as any of the rest of you. And I refuse to be treated second-rate here.”

“If it was a professional issue, maybe you should’ve taken it up with the XO,” said Charlie tersely, folding her arms.

I scoffed. “Yeah, maybe I should’ve. Then again, maybe I was a little deterred when the XO found the whole thing _real_ funny.” The others then looked to John, whose face had fallen suddenly, as if he was now reliving his words on the shuttle to Eden Prime. “Look, I’m fucking tired of everyone siding with the guy who called me a slut. Because I _must_ be the unreasonable one, right? Just…no. I’m done.” I turned, and forced the damaged door open. The mission had only begun, and I was already goddamn tired of it, tired and frustrated and pissed at everything else.

I guarded the door while everyone else spoke to Kahlee Sanders- apparently, an old friend of their Anderson’s- and the headmistress of the academy. When the rest of them emerged, Paxton pushed her way to the front and moved purposely out into the hall. Garrus was close behind (always, always on her six). I blinked and looked sideways to Liara. “What happened in _there_?”

“Paxton wanted to know about one of the academy’s students,” she said. “She was concerned about a boy named David Archer.”

I paused, thought a moment. “Doesn’t ring a bell. Any idea what she’s after?”

Liara shook her head. “No. And no one else does, either. If this is something from her past; it’s hers alone.”

We made our way into the main hall, in a loose pack, diving for cover at the first sound of footsteps and gunfire. A student, in the red uniform of Grissom Academy, shot into view, and then a Cerberus gun took her down. “Careful, Conoway, we’re supposed to take them alive. Check the dossier, which one was that?”

The second answered: “Dobrevsky. Some sort of math prodigy.”

“Not important, then,” said the first, “Next time, check the dossier.”

I gritted my teeth as the soldiers moved on their way. Paxton straightened up with a curse, and I followed after her when she marched on. “Hey, Pax, slow down. What’s going on here?”

“We don’t have time to hang around and talk about it, we’ve probably lost too much time already!” she whirled around, snapping.

I stopped, and the rest halted behind me. “Pax,” I tried again. “Can you please fill us in; because the rest of us missed the memo.”

She stopped, sighed, scrubbed at her temples. “About a year ago; after the Alliance discharged me, before I went to Illium; I found intel about a Cerberus project- codenamed, Overlord.” She crossed her arms. “We’d run into Cerberus before. They’d abducted the only other survivor of Akuze, Toombs, and used him as a guinea pig. They took out another squad the same way on Edolus, in the Artemis Tau- killed the Alliance Rear Admiral that tried to investigate. We found him with injection marks all over his body.” She raised her eyes. “If this was the same sort of Cerberus project I’d seen before; I was going to take it down.”

“And what happened?” Charlie asked.

“Overlord was a human-AI hybrid,” she spoke with disgust, scowling sideways at the wall. “A scientist named Gavin Archer was trying to figure out how to control the geth. He was using his brother David as…as, well, the overlord. He was- is- autistic; but he was best with numbers, integers, algorithms. He could talk to the geth. When I found him, he was stuffed full of tubes and begging me to make it stop.”

“What did you do?” Liara asked, softly.

“I got him out of there, what do you think?” she said tersely, holding her rifle tightly. “Slapped his sorry ass with a pistol and took David here to Grissom Academy.”

“And if Cerberus finds him, they’ll take him back,” I concluded, rubbing thoughtfully on my chin with a dark scowl.

“I’m not letting him go back there,” she finished, turning to move determinedly down the hall. “They’ll have to finish what they started at Akuze all those years ago.”

Garrus covered her flank and I moved into the other one; and just like that the leadership shifted to Pax. It was a long while before we found our way to another set of troops: their guns were pointed to a student who was holding up a barrier. “Reiley Bellarmine?” one of the troopers said. “Cerberus has taken control of the school. Drop the barrier and you’ll be perfectly safe.”

I shot a quick hand jibe to Pax and Garrus, who gave me an affirmative nod, and then stepped into the open. “Hey, jackasses.”

They turned to me.

“Pick on someone your own size,” I said, and snapped them up into a singularity. A moment later two sniper rifle shots had them in the head, and the team filed out of cover.

“I heard the name Reiley,” I said, helping the kid up. “Listen, we’ve cleared the immediate area of troopers; run back that way to the main office. Kahlee Sanders is there.”

Bellarmine nodded shakily. “Please…my sister Seanne…she’s still in there.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for her,” I promised, and watched him hurry back the way we had come.

We pushed on- another student ran through; and froze a second too long when she spotted us. Cerberus rifle fire took her down, and we tore apart the arriving squad with extreme prejudice. Just then I halted, and peered down the hall, picking up the sounds of soft sobbing. I pulled off my helmet and crept a little closer, found a girl pressing her hand desperately to what looked like a gunshot wound in her side.

“Hold on,” I murmured, kneeling by her side. “It’s okay, you’re safe, take my hand.”

“It- it won’t stop,” she hiccoughed. I squeezed her hand. “That’s okay, I’m gonna make it stop. Just hold my hand. Tell me about yourself.”

Her eyes were wide. “M-myself?”

“What’s your favorite color? Places you’ve been? Family?” I prepared a very small corona, thanking whatever gods and Javik for my newfound precision.

“G-green,” she said, trembling as the blood soaked her already-red shirt. “O-once we went to Citadel. M-me and m-my parents, a-and Reiley.”

“Reiley Bellarmine?” I asked, and she nodded quaveringly at me. “H-how did you kn-know?”

“We helped him get away from Cerberus,” I said. “We’re gonna do the same for you. Hold still.” I found the embedded slug in my field, began to extricate it from her side. She jerked and shuddered, and hot tears went pouring down her face with a sharp wail. Javik hissed about giving away our position, and in a second my eyes were black, and I was in Seanne’s mind.

I filled her thoughts with the Presidium; its pristine walkways and the crystal clear ponds; the lights of the wards, the colors and the sounds, the skycars moving above like birds. I gave her her brother’s face, the feeling of being wrapped in a safe embrace; a memory that made my heart ache fiercely but could only help her. _You’re going to be safe,_ I told the girl, keeping her eyes even as mine were inky black. _I promise, you and your brother will leave here alive._

The bullet came out.

Suddenly, her breathing was easier, some of her hysteria gone.

“Who are you?” she asked me, frowning, as I applied some of the medigel in my left gauntlet.

I kept her eyes briefly. “A friend,” I said, simply, and helped her to her feet.

John looked behind us. “The way back isn’t safe anymore.”

“She’ll stay with us,” I said, pulled out one of my pistols and handed it to her. “Take this. Stay close.” She nodded, and shadowed me as I moved to the middle of the pack and continued with the rest of the team.

Kahlee Sanders came in over our radio. “ _Commander? I’m getting an emergency transmission from the students in Orion Hall. They’ve got one of our instructors with them, but they can’t hold out for much longer. Cerberus is deploying ATLAS mechs._ ”

“Got it, we’re on our way,” Charlie said, and we took off running for the door that flew open- probably courtesy of EDI. I scoped a shot with my pistol, plugged two goons in the back of the head, and charged out.

I zipped across the battlefield, tearing into all of the troopers I found. Once, one of them managed to get a hold on me, but I grabbed the sides of his head and broke his neck, quick and clean like Thane had taught me, then vaulted out into the middle of another crowd. I could hear another barrage of rifle fire; knew the rest of my team was with me- still, I paid special attention to my barrier, in case EDI decided to, you know, _incinerate_ me again. A horde of troopers all jumped on me at once, and I detonated a fierce nova in a combinative explosion, eyes going black, to send them all flying away.

Suddenly, I was face to face with the assistant to my detonation. “Jack?”

“ _Glenn_?” Jack had wide eyes for a moment, before something started whirring behind us, and we turned to the promised ATLAS, moving straight for one of the students.

“No you don’t!” she shouted, dove and slid up to stand and warp the thing to all hell. I charged it in a moment; and the thing exploded, tossing me back and momentarily dropping my shields- no matter, for the entire unit was gone.

I dusted myself off, turned back to Jack, watched her move up above to the kids. She’d grown her hair out into a ponytail but kept the shaved sides, it was a nice brown. A few shades lighter than mine. She had a new outfit as well- a studded jacket, pants, boots, and some sort of sarong-inspired top. The tattoos were still there, of course. And so was the attitude. “Kahlee said she was sending out an SOS, but I had no idea the queen of the girl scouts would show up.” She turned to the students, said, “All right, amp check. Prangley, those fields were weak! Those Cerberus troops aren’t gonna lie down out of pity like that girl you took to prom.” Another girl punched Prangley in the arm, grinning, and he shrugged her off with a scowl. “Grab juice and an energy bar, we move in five.” She turned, leapt from the balcony and biotically assisted her landing, storming up to our position. When Charlie approached, Jack immediately socked her in the jaw. “Damn it, I _told_ you not to trust Cerberus,” she spat.

“You’re not telling me anything I haven’t told myself, Jack,” said Charlie, rubbing at the sore spot.

“You feel bad? Well _shit,_ I bet that’s a _big_ comfort to all the people Cerberus has killed,” she grilled her, looked back to the gathering students.

“As charming as ever,” Garrus ventured, stepping forward into her view.

Jack’s head snapped back, scowling. “Bite me, Garrus,” she snarled, “Better yet, bite _her_.” She jabbed a finger at Paxton. “Probably how she likes it.”

EDI ventured forward now, said, “Jack’s personality appears to remain unchanged.”

“Hey, EDI,” Jack regarded the mech with a casual eye, then ruled, “Nice body, now you look like a sex bot instead of a sex toy.”

I snorted. She looked at me, then dared to grin predatorily. With Jack, that amounted to a really long hug. “Hey, tattoo b…” she stopped herself, blinked, frowned slightly, and finished with, “buddy.”

“Teaching at Grissom Academy?” I folded my arms, cocking an eyebrow.

“The Psychotic Biotic!” Prangley called down to us.

“I’ll tear you apart!” the girl behind him added.

“The Alliance knew I helped you,” she said, tossing her head casually in Charlie’s direction. “They offered me this position. They know it’s better to keep me on their good side; and apparently, the kids respond well to my teaching style. What about you, Hackett’s war consultant?” she eyed me again. “That’s all over Alliance Command.”

“Had no idea,” I said, dryly. “Who are these kids?”

Jack turned back to them. When she finally looked back at us, she said to Charlie, “All I care about right now is getting my people out of here.”

Charlie tilted her head. “They’re your people?”

Jack afforded them another glance. “Yeah,” she said, softer, “I guess they are.”

James came back to the pack, turning off his comms, said, “Hey Lola? Esteban had to bug out. Shuttle’s a no-go, but Kahlee said there are Cerberus shuttles we could commandeer in the next hangar.”

“We’ll have to override the door first,” Jack said, and before EDI could even say a word she took me by the wrist and led me up to the higher platform.

The students were whispering about not knowing their teacher had worked with Commander Shepard- as I bent over the terminal, peeking behind me to watch Seanne rejoin her peers, Jack said to me, “Had my ass on the ropes there. Didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to freak the kids out.”

I straightened up. “What are they doing here?”

She looked around, sighed. “They’re training- like some special biotics task force.”

I stared at them. “A couple months doesn’t prepare these kids for the battlefield. I’ve been out in the trenches; on Palaven, I saw with my own eyes how badly everyone’s getting hammered.”

“I know,” she snapped, “But the whole world’s going to hell. What are you gonna say to them, no?” she sighed again. “They’re teenagers, dammit; a couple months ago their biggest concern was getting laid.”

I eyed her sideways. “I admit it, I’m liking the new look.”

Jack looked at me, and her mouth cocked sideways. “You too.” She crossed her arms and leaned on the wall. “Those were some vicious biotics you had going on there. I knew about the embracing eternity and shit, but I’ve never seen someone use them to break the sound barrier.”

“A little souvenir from my time with Blue,” I told her. I finished with the terminal. “We’ll get you out of here, Jack. You and your kids. And then we’ll get that ‘bitch-kicked the Collectors’ tattoo we shook on.”

Jack stared at me a moment, eyebrows moving up almost in surprise. “You remember,” she said.

“Of course I do,” I said, cocking the eyebrow with two notches shaved into it, in imitation of her own. “You told me not to forget it. Come on.”

We turned around. She frowned almost immediately, then started counting heads. “Where’s Prangley?” she barked. A boy shouted from down by the side door, “He went to go find some of the tech students! We got a transmission on our omni-tools that said they were in trouble. He and Rodriguez went with Seanne to rescue them.”

Jack spat out, “ _Shit_. Rodriguez couldn’t shred wet tissue paper. God _damn_ it, who told them to go play hero?”

“Calm down,” I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Look, we’ll split the team. One half of us will get them and rendezvous with you and the rest at the hangar.”

Jack set her jaw. “Fine,” she said, “Okay.”

Charlie straightened up. “James, Liara, EDI, Javik, John, you’re with me,” she said, “Paxton, you take Garrus and Glenn with you and get those students out.”

“Roger,” said Paxton, and she turned to us, snapped off, “Delta, on my six.”

“Aye aye,” I said, and followed on her left tail, Garrus covering her right.

It was a long trek down the halls, before we at last heard the uniform voices of Cerberus troops ahead of us. “This is prototype barrier technology. Hand it over, let it go and you’ll be fine.”

Peeking out at them from behind cover were the three missing students: Prangley, the girl who had punched his arm (Rodriguez), and Seanne. I moved in behind them, quietly, and yanked Rodriguez close, clamping a hand over her mouth. “You’re in a lot of trouble,” I whispered, “Wait here.” And with that I rose, walked out to the two Cerberus troopers, shot one in the back and crushed the second’s head into a pulpy mess.

Paxton and Garrus went to the kids, taking shelter behind their bubble. I went back to the three would-be heroes.

“We just wanted to help,” said Prangley, quietly, as I approached them.

“Dammit, you about gave your teacher a heart attack!” I snapped, about ready to bust a vein.

“Seanne was worried about David,” Rodriguez protested. Seanne punched her in the arm. I paused, briefly.

“You think a couple of months of knocking over practice dummies prepares you for fighting fully-armed, fully-trained, fully-equipped Cerberus troopers? They would’ve ripped you to pieces, and I hope you know you’re damned lucky I was here to do it first.” I stopped, sighed, shook my head and scrubbed at my temples. “You’re gonna get so much detention for this shit.” I looked up at them then, the three defiant teenagers who’d gone after their friends, and I dared to chance a smile. “The Alliance, though? They’ll hand you goddamn medals.”

The kids looked between each other, stunned.

“Seriously, though,” I finished, “That’s cold comfort to your family; if those medals are adorning your coffin. I’m not saying it’s not ever worth risking everything. Just…be very sure what you’re risking it for.”

“I’m Lieutenant Commander Shepard of the Alliance,” said Paxton, just down the hall, to the students in the barrier. “I’m here to help.”

“I didn’t buy it from the last guy, there’s no reason to buy it from you,” said the girl, with her omni-tool aloft. The three kids went to the bubble, perhaps to persuade their classmates of our alignment, but before they could speak, the boy with the shaven head, crouching at the base of the mechanism, murmured, “The square root of 906.1 equals-”

“30.1,” Pax finished. The boy looked up, said simply, “Hello, Paxton Shepard.”

The boy holding up his omni-tool looked down to the boy, astonished. “David, you know her?”

“Yes,” said David. “She rescued me from Cerberus. Sent me here. She made it quiet.”

The two students shared a look, then they let the barrier drop. David began to get to his feet. “We can escort you to the shuttle. We’re getting out of here.”

The girl rubbed the back of her neck. “Okay. Uh. Thanks.” She and her classmate rejoined the ranks with Prangley, Rodriguez, and Seanne; but David remained, looking at Paxton.

“Has Grissom Academy been all right?” Paxton spoke, with a gentle, maternal voice I hadn’t heard before on her.

“Yes,” said David. “I’ve been counting.”

“Anything in particular?” Paxton asked him.

“The number of days you lengthened my life,” he said.

Seanne ran up, suddenly, and threw her arms around him. David stood still a moment, but eventually he returned the embrace. I turned away, pulled up comm channel. “Omaha? This is Echo checking in; Delta’s fully intact, we’ve got all three strays and three tech students, including David Archer. What’s your position?”

“Echo, this is--taking heavy--down!”

“I didn’t read you, Omaha, repeat?” I said, my heart setting to pounding.

“Heavy fire--casual--down!”

I turned. “Hey, Pax? We gotta go.”

“What’s wrong?” she frowned.

“Comms are down, and it sounds like the others are in trouble,” I said.

Garrus looked to the students, and then asked, “Who here knows how to use a gun?”

Prangley stepped forward. “We’ve been getting assault rifle training as part of our classes.”

He unslung a turian rifle. “They work on the same principle; pull the trigger, it fires.” Paxton gave hers over to Rodriguez, looked to the tech students. They shared a few nervous looks, the boy wringing his hands. “You’ll have to stay close.”

“I can implement the same strategy we used in the Collector Base,” I spoke up. “A biotic bubble.” I looked among the faces of the kids, scared and confused, holding rifles half as heavy as they were, and said, “We’re all gonna make it out of here.”

We approached the door, and I put up the barrier. “No hero shit. Shoot if they shoot, otherwise run.” I looked to Garrus, with his omni-tool aloft, and nodded.

The door opened.

We ran through- I could see the squad and Jack holed up at the hangar, providing cover fire- I held up the barrier, so much stronger than it was then- heard the crack of rifles behind me and the pounding of footsteps. “Come on!” we shot into the shuttle bay, I turned to count the students, shouting all around me, somewhere I heard someone’s voice- was it Charlie? Garrus? “Vega’s still out there!”

I turned, looked, saw the marine’s lifeless body slumped behind a potted plant.

I didn’t even need to think. If I had, I would probably have said something like “Rhaella,” or “shit, that’s _my_ team,” or “didn’t I just tell people off for doing this?” I didn’t spare a moment in biotic-charging out there. Maybe I didn’t know him well- but he was Jimmy Vega, he was guilty about letting the colonists of Fehl Prime die- he missed Earth and his home in Rio, he liked to cook _huevos rancheros_ and threw in Spanish with his English to keep us all on our toes. And damn it, he was my team.

I reached him, the sound barrier snapping behind me, slinging him up onto my back, groaning under the weight. “Come… _on,_ you fucking lug!” A shot bent dangerously off of my barrier, and for a split second I was almost shot in the abdomen. Then, suddenly, my suit’s shields hardened, and I was safe. I threw a warp out at oncoming Cerberus soldiers, tossed them back, then looked to the door.

Shit, I wasn’t gonna make it.

A gunshot rang out near me. I looked to the side to see a Cerberus trooper dead, his bayonet still in his hand, buzzing faintly. At the door, Seanne held my Paladin aloft. Her aim had been dead-on.

I focused all my energy on that one spot behind her. For a long time I stood, teeth gritting, sweat springing up onto my face, blood vessels popping in my eyes, brain straining, base of my neck heating like all hell-

And I jumped.

There wasn’t really enough time to think- somehow, I managed it anyway. What I came up with was, _damn, should’ve mooched off those kids’ energy bars._

Then I was there.

“Into the shuttles!” Charlie demanded- Javik and Garrus picked James up and hauled his ass inside, and the commander herself looped an arm around my side and helped me limp inside. My eyes must have been black as Tartarus.

“Joker, we’re coming out on a Cerberus shuttle,” Charlie said, into the comm, as we pulled out. “Hold your fire.”

“ _Right, Commander_ ,” he said. “ _Meet you for pickup- send the coordinates my way._ ”

She did so.

Then, she looked at me. Shook her head, wearily, and smiled. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

I wiped the trickle of blood from my left nostril, right eye. “Said it yourself, skipper. No one gets left behind.”

I looked around the shuttle- everyone, present and accounted for. I had to smile, and sit back into my seat.

“Thank you, Commander,” Kahlee Sanders said, nodding. “If it hadn’t been for you we’d never have made it off that station.”

“F-forget that,” Jack sighed, apparently having finished the same headcount. “We kicked some ass. Next place we dock; you’re all getting inked. My treat.” She looked around. “What do you guys want? Ascension Project logo? Glowing fist? Maybe a unicorn for Rodriguez?”

“Screw you, ma’am!” said Rodriguez, in the spirit of good nature.

“I can’t believe we got them out alive,” Kahlee continued. “And I was going to suggest they stick to support roles. But perhaps they’re ready after all.”

That was when I spoke up. “No. Keep ‘em in support.”

Prangley looked over to me, horrified. “What?”

“We’ve been training for months!” Rodriguez protested.

“Please,” I half-laughed, still dead out of my wits. “You’re so green you piss grass. What you want is to fight, I get that. You’re young. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you to do that. What the Alliance needs, though, is ammo mods. Barrier support. You can give them that.”

“We’ll still get some shots in,” Jack promised them, and I thought she shot me a grateful look. My brain was still hurting.

“ _Got a visual on you now, Commander_ ,” said Joker, “ _Preparing to dock_.” A moment later, he spoke- “ _Hey, Jack, now that you’re military- you gonna wear a uniform, or are you just gonna get the officer’s bars tattooed on_?”

“Screw you, f-” she trailed off, said grudgingly, “Flight Lieutenant.”

“ _Um_ ,” Joker chuckled, “ _What the hell was that_?”

“Jack agreed to watch her language in order to maintain the level of professionalism expected from our staff,” Kahlee Sanders provided, looking up to the ceiling.

“ _What, does she have a swear jar? Cause if we emptied that thing, we’d probably have enough to buy another cruiser._ ”

Jack was also looking at the ceiling.

“Kids, cover your ears,” she said. “Hey, Joker. F-”


	8. Worrisome Matters on the Citadel (Though Really, What Other Matters Are There on the Citadel)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the second half of that update. It's Bioware's, yadda yadda, enjoy. I will be back and updating before you know it.

“Really, now, you must stop doing this,” Chakwas sighed, prodding at my amp with cold fingers. I squirmed. “Hold still.”

“Stop what?” I asked, instead. “Being a vanguard? I’m fairly sure I can’t- _James Tiberius Kirk,_ Doc, give me a little warning-”

“There,” she sighed, “You’re done.”

“Damn it,” I muttered, rubbing at the back of my neck and sliding off the exam table. “What the hell did you do?”

“Stabilized your amp!” she began to shoo me out. “Don’t be such an infant.”

“ _Damn_ ,” I hissed again, stepping out of the med bay and into the mess. “I’m going, I’m going.”

I smiled at the students sitting and talking on the table, turned when I heard Seanne Bellarmine speak to my left. “Uh…ma’am?”

I looked to her, blinking. “Jeez, kid, don’t call me ma’am. Name’s already Glenn, the old lady thing needs no help.”

She looked at the floor. “I’m an ensign, ma’am. You’re a staff lieutenant. I’m referring to you respectfully by rank.”

I blinked again. “Oh yeah. That. So, what’s up, kid?”

She held out my Paladin. “I came to give this back. Thank you. For letting me use it.”

I looked at the pistol, held out to me. I remembered the shot between my eyes that had probably saved two lives; mine and Mr. Vega’s.

I pushed the gun back to her. “Keep it,” I said. “I’ll just requisition another.”

She looked widely at me. “Really?”

I smiled, patting her shoulder. “Really. Do me a favor, though-”

“Ma’am?”

“Look after David,” I said, turning to the boy who sat apart from the rest, tinkering with a small metallic object. “Paxton really cares about his wellbeing.”

Seanne blushed. She looked curiously at me. “You never met him?”

I shook my head. “No. But he’s people of my people.” I looked at him one last time. “And that’s good enough.”

I left her and her fellow students there, made my way to the war room- presumably, where I would find Charlie. Sure enough, she was giving Hackett the debrief when I arrived.

“Glenn,” he said, when I stepped into view. “Good to see you’re back on your feet.”

“She put a lot on the line to go back and save Lieutenant Vega,” Charlie shared. “Doc says he’ll make a full recovery. We were sure we were going to lose him.”

Hackett nodded. “Commendable. Well done, Lieutenant.”

I folded my arms behind my back (oh God, was I doing the parade rest thing now? It was contagious.) “Thank you, sir.”

“We’ll discuss the rest of this later,” the admiral concluded. “Hackett out.”

As he disintegrated, Charlie looked me over. “We’re going to the Citadel to drop everyone off. After that, looks like we’re off to that summit. How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” I rolled my shoulders. “Yeah, a lot better. Any read on Vega?”

“He’s been up an hour or so,” she replied. “Down in the shuttle bay with Cortez and your sister, if you want to see them.”

“How close are we to the Citadel?” I asked.

“We’re about to dock,” she replied.

“Send me to Jack,” I told her.

A few hours later; it was almost like the old days on Illium, getting loud and spilling drinks- Jack and I, Miranda, Samara, Kasumi; Tali with her little bendy straw that she insisted was an ‘emohrgency induction port’. Just Jack and I this time, but we were leaning on the bar counter in Purgatory, having the time of our lives, with the sting of new tattoos on our back (some symbol that meant we kicked ass and took names.) “So then _I_ said, what the hell are you giving me new amps for if you don’t want me to break shit!”

I cracked up (probably with some help of the beer in my hand), snorted a little, wiped at my eyes. “Dear god, Jack, but I never thought you’d be a teacher.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I guess I did learn a bit of teamwork from our little suicide squad.” She paused, tossed a long swallow back. “I’m accountable now,” she concluded, “And I blame you. And Shepard. Mostly Shepard.”

“Mm-hmm,” I nodded in agreement, drank again from my beer.

Jack eyed the dance floor. “God, how long’s it been since Illium?”

I set the bottle down hard on the counter. “Six months, give or take. You remember me dancing with Tali?”

“That was too much hip for one dance floor,” she said, grinning.

“Hips don’t lie,” I singsonged, shimmying them, and she laughed. When she looked again, though, her eyes narrowed. “Hey, there’s that guy you hauled out of the line of fire. Isn’t that your little sister?”

I peered around her- and sure enough, Vega and Rhaella were dancing close together, smiling, even if he was moving a little stiffer.

“Yeah,” I said, “It is.”

Jack eyeballed me. “Time to take your balls out of your purse?”

“I’d open a can of whupass, but,” I sighed. “Come with me.”

We ventured to the dance floor. I zipped right in between them, chirped to Rhaella- “Hey! Dance with my friend Jack here for a second.” Before she could protest, I steered Vega a few feet away.

“What are you-” he started to say, but I hushed him before he could finish. “Now, now, normally I would kick your ass,” I said. “I would cut your balls off and sell them to a krogan before I even let you so much as _look_ at my little sister. You’re a horrible flirt. I know your type; don’t lie to me, Omega’s full of them. The _heart_ breakers. You call our commander _Lola_ because she reminds you of some hot chick you knew once; and you auto-flirt, all the while completely ignoring the fact that she has a lover who is terminally ill and on his last legs as I speak. You’re a chauvinist pig. And if you aren’t, you certainly act like one. I shouldn’t let you near Rhaella. But-” I said, holding up a finger, “And but- I happen to like you, Mr. Vega. And I just risked my own skin to save your ass. So I’m gonna let you off with a warning. Whatever you’re planning for her, you’d better scrap it now and be fucking Prince Charming. Hear me? Take her on dates, buy her flowers, be the best goddamn boyfriend in the world. You treat her right, am I clear? Because if you don’t, and she ends up with her childhood hopes and dreams crushed, I will- and I _will_ \- fuck you up. Borrowing a phrase from a favorite crime boss of mine, _don’t._ Fuck. With Omega.” I folded my arms. “Got it?”

James was blinking. “I…” he swallowed, straightened up with a sudden face of resolve, said, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Ugh, please, don’t salute me,” I said. “Don’t promise me anything. Just. _Do it_.” I waved my finger at him, scowling at him.

Then, there was an awkward silence. “Omega, son!” I concluded, stepping backwards in the classic _Water Tribe, represent,_ said to Jack, “Jack; out.”

And we left the dance floor, leaving very bewildered people behind.

It was later in the day we ran into Kasumi- Paxton, apparently, had just helped a salarian Spectre named Jondam Bau in resolving the matter of an indoctrinated hanar ambassador- “Just dropping by before I go off to the Crucible,” she said, after decloaking to say hello. We talked for a bit, and that was nice, us girls, just like old times. Thankfully, she didn’t ask about Joker and me before she left.

Charlie was moments behind. “I talked to Miranda,” she said, leaning on the wall and sighing. “She’s keeping out of sight, from Cerberus. Her sister’s gone and she’s sure her father’s behind it again.” She folded her arms, looked down, back up to me. “She’s on his trail now. Said she might need our help later on; but for now she can’t promise anything. Not even to be careful.”

I put a hand on her shoulder. “She’s a tough bitch, Charles. She’ll pull through.”

Charlie nodded. “I hope you’re right.”

Shore leave ended as it customarily did: blocking out all the troubles of the world down in the subdecks, over a game of Skyllian Five and single-malt scotch. Garrus, Gabby, Paxton, John, and Jack went on playing each other into the late hours; long after us others had dropped out and I’d tugged a very mellow Ken Donnelly’s boots off and started painting his toenails.

“Ken, what are you doing?” Gabby questioned, when she noticed.

“Me? I’m not doing a thing, woman,” he said, reclined across a bunch of crates. “Isn’t this the fairest shade of purple, though?” I chuckled, and flicked a stroke against the sole of his foot to make him squirm. “Och, watch it, lass, I’ll take out your teeth if ye aren’t careful.”

It was long after, when Ken had taken to returning the favor and started doing _my_ toes in red, when Jack at last stood up, stretched, and said, “All right, kiddies. It’s been fun, but Jackie’s gotta go. I got biotic support squads to manage. Wish me luck, bitches.”

“Luck,” I said, waving to her as she went out. “Kick ass, tattoo bitch. When this is over, you and I are getting inked. I won’t let you forget it.”

She might have smiled as she went out- I don’t know.

We hung out a few more hours- at last, though, it was time to clear out, head to bed; work and war summits in the morning. As I pulled my shoes back on and went to leave, I came to a screeching halt, almost having crashed into a very still mech standing in the doorway.

“EDI?” I said. “Uh…hi.”

“Hello, Glenn,” she said. “May we speak?”

I sat down on a crate. “Uh. Sure. Fire away.”

“When I took control of this body, I found the protocols of the intelligence called Eva Coré,” she told me, folding her hands. “I found messages inside, from Jeff, addressed to you.” She paused. “They were intercepted.”

For a moment, I sat there, blank.

“There were also messages meant for him, from you,” she said. “It appears she prevented them reaching each other; most likely on the Illusive Man’s orders.”

I blinked rapidly, rubbed at my temples, closing my gaping mouth. “She intercepted them? Well…then that explains why we never got to each other- can I see them?” I looked up at her.

Instantly, my omni-tool buzzed. _Three unread messages,_ it read, timestamped about five and a half, three, and one month ago.

Hesitantly, I played the first. If EDI had found them, she probably already knew what they were.

 _Hey, babe,_ the message opened. He sounded tired, put-down, grounded. But happy enough to be addressing me. I almost cried. _You’ve probably heard what happened by now. I can’t tell you any more, it’ll just be redacted. I’m lucky enough the Alliance is letting me contact you. I’m locked out; I can’t go to you, wherever- wherever you are, I hope you’re safe. I know you will be. I don’t know if they’d let you see me if you came. Just…don’t come here. They’ll probably implicate you, too, for Cerberus and everything. Just…contact me here, when you can. I love you. Be safe. Talk to you soon._

The message closed. I paused before I played the next one; made two and half months later.

 _Glenn,_ his voice came up again, more cautious than before. _I…I don’t know if my last message made it. I haven’t heard back. I…I’m still in Vancouver. They’re letting me on board the Normandy again, and EDI promised to try and find you. If something happened to your old IP address. I…I don’t know. I hope this one makes it to you. If it does, call me back. Please. I miss you._

I let out a shaking breath, whispered, “Jeff.” His reaction might’ve been uncalled for, completely accusatory, but…god dammit, I wish none of this had happened…

The third opened, just a month before the Reaper invasion.

 _Hey,_ he said. _Me again. EDI says she found you. You’re using some sort of Shadow Broker encrypted signal? I guess that means you and Liara did your thing. I…I didn’t think it’d be any trouble for you. Anyway, I…yeah, still at Alliance Command. We’re picking up strange signals on the long-range scanners- they don’t tell me anything, but I know what’s coming. I…_ he took a large, shuddering breath, and continued, _I’m scared, dammit. I’m scared the world’s going to hell, and I haven’t even talked to you in almost six months. Please, when you get this, call me back. I miss you like crazy._ A pause. _I love you._

The message lingered, then it cut off.

I sat there a moment, almost in shock, the tears running numbly down my face. When I spoke, it was thickly, shakily, “Why…how long have you known about this?”

“Precisely nineteen hours and sixteen minutes after assuming control of this platform,” she answered.

“Have you told Joker?” I asked, looking up.

She hesitated. “…no.”

I sighed, hanging my head. “I could…hell, I don’t even know if he’d believe me. Why didn’t you take that to him?” I looked back up at her.

Again, she hesitated, the way Legion did before he said, “no data available.”

“I believe an organic would say I was…conflicted,” she began. “I experienced a difficult nonconformity in my programming. My protocols were designed to further my own goals.”

I looked blankly at her, before it suddenly all clicked. “You…were jealous.”

“That is the organic term, yes,” she said, nodding. “You were…an obstacle, in one such desired objective. By keeping the contents of the interception from you, I would be fulfilling my programming. However…” she trailed off, looking thoughtful. “Recently, the Commander has been answering my questions, about living. In observing her, I have known her to be very loyal to her friends. It caused me to reevaluate my programming, and rewrite my protocols.”

In the end, she stood straighter, at the parade rest she’d picked up from everyone else. “I deemed that Jeff’s happiness should be greater concern than my own objectives. He has not been his usual self while you two have been in disagreement.” She paused. “Additionally…your friendship is a greater priority to me.”

I stared at her. “When my shields overloaded 200% at Grissom…”

Now, she looked somewhat sheepish. “I realized you had told me not to interfere with your defense protocols…”

I shook my head, rapidly. “No, no. It’s fine. You probably saved us. Me and James both.” I stood up, sighed, said, “Sorry for blowing up at you. For what it’s worth. Hell, you’re…you’re still learning.” I paused. “And…thanks. For telling me all of this.”

She blinked at me. “I believe you should mend things with Jeff,” she decided. “You were both markedly happier together. I have tracked a 72% decrease in your laughing and smiling quotas since you have been apart.”

“I’d like to fix things,” I sighed. “Hell, I might be pissed to all hell at him, but…I still love him. And…well. Maybe one day we can sit down and really talk through this. Right now, though, we’ve got a war summit and the Reapers to worry about.” I looked at her. “Thanks, EDI.”

“Of course, Glenn,” she said, and she looked suddenly happier. “It is…odd. I was unsure about the results of this conversation. Now, I am…happier, for having had it.”

I smiled. “Yeah. We all have to choose between what’s right and what’s easy. And the good stuff, what you care about…that’s what you’ve got to hold on to. Work for. It’s difficult. All things worth keeping are.”

She blinked at me. “Every day I realize more how brave organics are. They do not calculate outcomes as synthetics do. They are not as durable. They are finite. But…they persist. It is…interesting.”

I nodded at her- chose my next words carefully. “The hardest thing to do in this world is live in it,” I said. “Be brave. Live.”

I left her there, and went back to the lift.


	9. Observations Made on How One Member Must Not Define Her Entire Species, and Vice Versa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a new chapter! Worked a bit on this one at camp, so conversion was a bit of a bitch, but thank goodness for voice recognition software on my iPhone- made transferring this puppy a lot easier. So, mostly moving the story in this one, but there's more character and development stuff in the next one! It all belongs to Bioware, of course, as always- and I hope that you enjoy it. I'm looking more forward to the next one, though, which should be up in a day or two.
> 
>  
> 
> Ugh, _Dalatrass._
> 
> But, _Eve._
> 
>  

It seemed like the delays would be endless; but we were finally, _finally_ headed to the summit. Primarch Victus assured us he was prepared, and went to wait in the conference room for the krogan clan leader and the salarian Dalatrass. Charlie and I put on our dress blues to receive them: but all the while I couldn’t shake the uneasy feelings- the fact that they hadn’t before decided on a ship with which to meet didn’t bode at all well for negotiations.

As we approached the airlock, Charlie murmured, “I’ve got Wrex. You greet the Dalatrass. Be the picture of courtesy, clear?”

I nodded curtly, matching stride. “Aye aye.”

We waited on the CIC as the bridge extended. The airlock hissed open to reveal the hulking, battle-hardened form of the krogan clan leader- we’d met once before on Tuchanka, though I doubted he would remember.

“Shepard!” he said, happily, and tromped onboard the deck. “I like this new _Normandy_. Strong.” He nodded once, almost to himself.

Charlie smiled. “Welcome aboard, Wrex. Good to see you. Where’s the Dalatrass?”

“Behind,” Wrex chuckled, jabbing a thumb to illustrate. “Probably got her horns in a knot, not being first.”

“Thanks,” I sighed, wearily, “For that.”

Wrex turned, leaned over and sniffed me. “You,” he said, pointing a little. “I remember you.”

Well. Apparently the krogan had elephantine memories. In hindsight, I should have expected that in the first place.

“Grunt’s _krantt_ ,” he went on. “You helped him bring down the maw.” His eyes narrowed. “And you helped that salarian too.” He eyeballed me. “You smell strange. And you don’t have particular qualms about mixing. Krogans, salarians… I would call mercenary, but they don’t wear Alliance uniforms.” Without warning, he reached over and yanked up a sleeve, exposing tattoos. He _hmm_ ed. “Then again, Alliance grunts don’t wear that much ink.”

In the space in which he had said that, I had snatched his wrist and driven my fist into the joint of his armor, with enough force to hyperextend someone else’s elbow. Wrex looked drily to Charlie. “Your Alliance teach their grunts _Krav Maga,_ too?”

Charlie cleared her throat. “Glenn.”

I let go of Wrex’s arm, assuming my prior parade rest. “I make no promises if they touch me.”

Wrex looked to Charlie, wagging a finger at me. “Where’d you pick up this one? I like her.”

Charlie sighed, herding Wrex to the war room. “It’s no judge when you like someone, Wrex. Please don’t encourage her.”

I waved at Wrex, grinning, as he was ushered to the conference room. A few minutes, and then the salarian ship was docking, and the dalatrass was coming aboard.

“Dalatrass Linron.” I saluted as she entered, hooded, robes swishing about her feet. “I’m Lieutenant Glenn. May I escort you to the war room?”

The dalatrass’ face crinkled like she smelled something bad, regarded my hand, and she stepped gingerly onto the ship with some distaste. “Where is Commander Shepard?”

“She’s already waiting, dalatrass,” I said, gesturing to the door. “Shall we?”

The dalatrass sniffed, and swished past me to the door.

She raised a fuss at the scanner- after ten minutes of cajoling; I finally coaxed her through it, muttering all the while, “so uncivilized.” Needless to say, by the time we made it to the conference room, I was ready to boil over, and we hadn’t even started yet. Greetings went about as well as expected, after that- negotiations degraded into something worse.

“The krogan is in no position to make demands,” the dalatrass declared snidely, narrowing her rather large eyes at Urdnot Wrex across the table. I didn’t need my helmet’s close combat system to tell me it would be tactically advantageous to punch her in the eye. If only so much could be said for politics.

“The krogan has a _name_ ,” he growled back, bracing on the table. “Urdnot Wrex. And I’m not just some junkyard varren you unleash whenever you’re in trouble.” He stepped back, looked around. “I’ve got my own problems. Reaper scouts have landed on Tuchanka.” He turned, glared Victus’ way, shrugged, marginally. “So why should I care if a few turians go extinct?”

To his credit, the primarch shrugged off his jab and retorted, “Trying to draw out negotiations will get you nowhere, Wrex. I have no time for it. Just tell us what you want.”

“I’ll tell you what I _need_ ,” said Wrex, leaning forward again, casting his eyes about his audience. “A cure for the genophage.”

A pause, then the dalatrass’ eyes bugged. “Absolutely not! The genophage is nonnegotiable.”

“Why are you so opposed to the idea, Dalatrass?” Charlie cut in.

“Because my people uplifted the krogan,” she retorted, “We know them best.”

“Under what circumstances would you presume that much?” I lashed out, suddenly pissed to all hell, in my best _are you out of your Vulcan mind,_ “You say ‘uplifted’, you mean you used them to fight a war you couldn’t win. It wasn’t the salarians, or the asari, or even the turians that won the Rachni Wars, it was _krogan_ blood that turned the tide.”

“And after that they ceased to be useful!” the dalatrass sneered, then looking to Wrex. “The genophage was the only way to keep your… ‘urges’ in check.”

“Give me the only way not to put an omni-blade in your eye,” I growled, and Charlie pulled me back by the arm, shaking her head sharply at me. I relaxed somewhat, folding my arms and scowling fiercely at the hooded salarian.

“Dalatrass, you may not like him, but Wrex is right,” said Victus. “Insulting him won’t change that.”

“I won’t apologize for speaking the truth!” she shot back, raising her voice. “We uplifted the krogan to do one thing: wage war. It’s all that they know because it’s all that we wanted them to know.

“Your people miscalculated, then,” I snapped at her, “After that, is it really a surprise that the krogan revolted? It’s like Wrex said; you think of them like mindless meat grinders, and I’ve met krogan a thousand times smarter than you. Got one of them in the room with me right now.” I folded my arms, fingers tensing against the jacket.

“That’s precisely my point,” she said, looking at me. “We made a rash decision. We turned to the krogan in desperation.” She folded her arms. “It’s the same mistake you’re about to make today. No good can come from curing the genophage.”

“No good? I’d ask how you sleep at night with the consciences of a million murdered children weighing on you.” I took a step closer. “All those souls that never saw the light of day, for the sake of _your_ peace of mind. What would you think if the piles of dead were salarian kids? Would you call it murder, then? Would you think, then, maybe you were being treated like _animals_?” I shook my head. “You say you unleashed the genophage to prevent a red tide sweeping the galaxy. _You_ created the red tide.”

A pause. Slowly, I stepped back. I looked to Charlie. She was deep in thought, brows furrowed together, tight-lipped- but not for long. She shook her head. “The genophage has gone on long enough. The krogan have paid for their mistakes.”

“One thousand, four hundred seventy-six years,” muttered Wrex, “ _If_ you’re keeping track.”

“It was a thousand years of peace, free from these…brutes!” the dalatrass pointed a trembling finger.

“One more word and I’ll show you _brute,_ you lizard-eyed bitch,” I snarled.

“Enough!” Victus barked. “Whether or not they deserve a cure is academic. It would take years to formulate one.”

Wrex straightened up. “My information says otherwise.” He moved to the head of the table, edging the primarch out of the way with a sideways look. “A salarian scientist, Maelon, grew a conscience. He was on my planet testing a cure on our females.” As he spoke, he began typing on the table’s display terminal.

“Seconded,” I said, without hesitation. “My team thought he’d been captured by Clan Weyrloc. We didn’t find out until we got there that he was voluntarily researching the cure for them.” I swallowed, folding my arms. “His methods were barbaric…but his data was sound. I can say for fact we saved a copy of everything and wiped the local troves.”

Wrex nodded. “What you didn’t know is that there were other females that survived his experiments.” A security feed came up, a camera brought up to the distinct shape of krogan females in giant glass tubes. “So the dalatrass here sent in a team to clean up the mess- and take them prisoner.”

The feed cut off. All eyes went to the dalatrass.

“Where did you get this?” she spluttered. “It- it could be a fabrication!”

I shut off my omni-tool, having fired it up halfway through the footage. “Already checked. Everything is sound; nothing comes off as faked, according to the Shadow Broker’s tech.”

“Don’t insult me!” Wrex snapped. “Those are my people. They’re immune to the genophage, and you’re going to give them back.”

“Dalatrass, is this true?” Victus joined the fray.

The dalatrass shook her head violently. “How will curing the genophage benefit my people?”

“It might lighten your sentence when you get tried for breaking galactic law; section four, amendment three- no species may hold another species hostage outside knowledge of the species leadership.” I stepped closer, and pushed a sleeve up to show the very edges of my tattoos. “And it might deter me from opening a can of whupass, because you’ve been making me work for it the past hour.”

“How long do you think you’ll last alone against the Reapers?” Charlie folded her arms. “Because if you don’t help, that’s what it’ll come to.”

Victus stepped forward, added somewhat ominously, “And I’ll be the last friendly turian you’ll ever see.”

The pressure cooked. “What’s it gonna be?” Charlie spoke.

The dalatrass stewed a moment. “The females are being kept at one of our STG bases on Sur’Kesh.” Charlie was already moving for the door. “But I warn you, Commander! The consequences of this will be-”

I whirled around, halting in my exit to slam my hands down across the table, cutting her off, snarling viciously, “Will be _nothing_ compared to what will happen if the Reapers win.”

Wrex stepped up, eagerly. “Let’s get the females!”

“You’re not setting foot on Sur’Kesh,” the dalatrass protested, “This will take time to-”

“It happens now,” Victus cut in. “As a Council Spectre, Shepard can oversee the exchange.

“We’re going,” Charlie said, with the Commander Fucking Shepard Air of Finality, and we all headed back for the CIC.

The dalatrass called after us. “I won’t forget this, Commander! A bully has few friends when he needs them most.”

We exited the war room- Charlie called up to the ceiling, snapped, “Joker. I’m forwarding you the coordinates to a top-secret facility on Sur’Kesh. Get us underway, now.”

“Aye aye, ma’am,” he replied. Charlie turned to the lift, muttered to herself- “So help me, she can stuff it if she doesn’t like it. I promised Wrex I’d find him a fix one day, and I damn well will.”

I paused. “Charles?”

Charlie sighed, scrubbing a hand across her face. “Three years ago,” she said, “On Virmire. Saren had a genophage cure, and he was breeding an army. They were mindless, indoctrinated. Wrex, though…he wasn’t too happy when he figured out we were going to blow the place to all hell. He pulled a gun, told me the lines between friend and foe were getting a little blurry.” She shifted her feet, as the lift descended. “I talked him down. Snapped him out of it. Even reminded him of how I helped recover his family armor from a fortune hunter. In the end, all three of us- John, Pax, and I- we promised him one day we would help him find a cure.”

I nodded, slowly, my arms tucked close to my chest.

“Maybe we’re different,” she murmured, “the three of us, but a Shepard always keeps their promises.”

A long pause.

“Virmire,” I repeated. “Isn’t that- that was the mission you lost Chief Williams.” I fell silent, folding my hands. “I heard the old team mention her once or twice.”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah. In the end, it came down to choosing.” She sighed. “Seems like it always does. Kaidan was with a salarian recon team on the roof, Ash was guarding the nuke down on the ground. There was only enough time to grab one and make it to minimum safe distance.” She was silent for a long time. Finally, she shook her head. “There are a thousand ways I could have justified it. Picking up Kaidan and Kirrahe’s team would have saved more lives. Alenko was the superior officer, with the more valuable skillset, and eligible under Battlefield Amendment 83 as his parents’ only child.” Her mouth set. “A thousand ways to try and make sense of it. Help me sleep better at night. Hell, my own brother told me if Kaidan was dying there, so was he. And still, all these years later, I still think my decision rode on what happened with Wrex.”

I blinked. “You lost me, skipper.”

“When Wrex pulled that gun on me, Ash did too,” she said, softly. “A minute longer and she would have shot him until he died. And you know that’s a lot of bullets, for a krogan.”

I blinked once, looked sideways to her. I remembered little things, mentions of never liking Garrus, skirting Tali like the plague and affording Liara suspicious looks. The get-along pod. Charlie sighed, and for a moment she looked eighty years older, with every soul, every man, woman, and child on her. “There are a thousand ways to justify it. I don’t. I left a friend behind to die that day, and I didn’t do it lightly. I like to remember my chief…she called me skipper too, you know, she was the one who got me saying LT. That’s who Kaidan was to her. She loved poetry. Tennyson, especially. She loved her sisters, prayed to God…and in the end; she went above and beyond the call of duty and made the ultimate sacrifice. For the mission…for all of us. For all of that mistrust she still died for them in the end.” Charlie nodded, once. “That’s how I like to remember Ashley Williams.”

I was quiet, for a long moment- looking at the memorial wall, blinking sadly. “Idealists,” I murmured, “I know…you’d like to see the world in black and white-”

“And how would you know how an idealist thinks?” she looked to me. “Not to pull punches, but you’ve been jaded from day one.”

Quietly, I faced the memorial wall. “Behind every cynic,” I told her, “You’ll find a disappointed idealist.” _But gray? I don’t know what to do with gray._

I left the commander where she stood, went to change back into my typical attire, and took the lift back down to the crew deck. Charlie was gone upon my return, but I saw EDI clothed in a set of ship fatigues, letting Traynor put up her loosened hair. I smiled, continued on through the mess, and through to the main battery. The door slid open upon my approach- “Garrus? John said to come here to check on my req order on the Pal-”

I stopped short when I realized what I’d walked in on, and waited for them to step hastily apart before going on.

“You were saying?” Garrus coughed.

“My Paladin,” I repeated, as Paxton straightened her uniform and fixed her hair. “John couldn’t get ahold of Cortez.”

“I haven’t heard anything,” Garrus said, resolutely trying to look casual while fixing a stray buckle on his armor. “What’s wrong with Cortez? Did he take out sick leave?”

I frowned, shook my head. “Ah…come to think of it, the XO didn’t say.” I jabbed a thumb back at the door. “I’ll head for the shuttle bay. Get this figured out.” I halted in the door, turned back. “I don’t think I ever got to say congratulations.”

Garrus and Pax exchanged a look. “Thanks?” Garrus said, and Paxton nodded rapidly. “Yeah, uh…thank you.”

I smiled, left them to it, and headed back to the lift, passing one James Vega attempting to converse with a brooding Javik- “So, smoking? You guys do that?”

“Only when my armor becomes enflamed.”       

I descended, down to the shuttle bay to find our wayward requisitions officer. “Steve?” I called, when the door opened. “Cortez? Steve, are you-?”

I halted. My best guess had been; Steve was working on the Kodiak like he always did, and had missed John’s call. Cortez, however, was face-down into the supply terminal, snoring lightly.

I stepped over to where he sat hunched over, reached tentatively out and patted him on the back. “Hey. Cortez. Steve, wake up.”

“Muh?” he sat up with a start, blinking, rubbing at his eyes, and yawning. “Oh, L-lieutenant?” he yawned again, asked me in a sleep-heavy voice, “S’up?”

Something was definitely wrong with this picture. Cortez, sleeping on the job? This was the man who had declared flying tired was nearly worse than flying drunk. “Something wrong, Cortez?” I asked him. “You look beat.”

“Didn’t sleep well last night, ma’am,” he yawned, his eyes doing their best to slide shut on their own.

I blinked. “Why’s that? Bad night?”

“You could say that,” he sighed. “That, and….well.” his mouth set, and his eyes drifted over to the cot where Vega slept. “James and your sister were…making a bit of a ruckus.”

I felt a sudden rush of something like fury, folded my arms. “Could you describe the ruckus?”

Steve gave me a _really?_ look.  “Do I have to, ma’am, or can my silence speak a thousand words?”

I scowled. “Catch a nap, Cortez, we’ll need you soon.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he yawned, getting up and shuffling to his cot. I’d already moved back into the lift, barked, “EDI!”

“ _Yes, Glenn_?”

“Find me Mr. Vega,” I said, darkly.

A pause. “ _He is still in the mess, Glenn_.”

“Take me there.”

“ _Right away_.”

The lift flew up and landed me at my destination.

The doors opened. I stormed out around the loop, into the mess, fists balling at my sides, and roared, “DAMNIT, JIM.”

When I moved into view, I could see Adams standing dumbfounded by the fridge, a disinterested Javik, and James Vega, looking like I’d put the fear of God into him. Fitting, as nothing but divine intervention was going to save him now. “What did I _fucking_ tell you? _Didn’t I fucking tell you_?”

“What are you talking about, _amiga_?” he backed up a step, putting his hands up in front of him.

“Don’t _amiga_ me, Vega; I’ve got enough going on without having to worry about what you’re doing to my sister.” I stepped up closer, jabbed a finger at the middle of his giant chest, spat, “I know that I told you to be a _gentle_ man- enlighten me, where does this qualify? When did I _ever_ tell you to take advantage of her?”

“He didn’t take _advantage_ of me; it was my idea in the first place.” I stopped short, turned to see Rhaella arriving on the scene. “EDI, you traitor,” I muttered. “Look, kid, there are a million ways that guys will put the idea into your head, none of which you’re aware of. Let me handle this.”

“No,” she said, pressing forward. “What we do- that’s _our_ business, Glenn. You don’t have to spy on us.”

“I wasn’t- Cortez-” I stopped, sighing. “Look, kid…Rhaella. Mom died, Dad bailed, now I’ve inherited you as a responsibility. Everything I do- it’s for a reason, damnit, I’m trying to help you. I’m…I don’t want you to end up like I did. You- I haven’t inherited much. I haven’t inherited anything. You’re the most of anything I’ve ever been left.” I looked to the side, trying to avoid the softening in my voice. “I…I want to keep you from making mistakes.”

She looked at me, wary. “What makes you so smart?” she crossed her arms.

“You grow up on Omega, you get trust issues, you don’t make trust-related mistakes,” I waved a hand, “Look, point- how long have you two known each other? A month? What are you _doing_?”

“You’re such a hypocrite!” she snapped. “This ship is _full_ of people trying to get their kicks in before the world ends. You and Joker-”

“All right, shut it down,” I cut her off. “First off; the world is _not_ ending, we are at _war_. There’s a big difference- that was a _suicide_ mission we were preparing for. Don’t preach to me about hypocrisy, little girl. There are no excuses for rushing into things like this; and it might be your business, but it’s not gonna stop me from trying to keep you from doing something stupid.”

“ _You’re_ the one who does stupid things,” she retorted. “It’s not my fault everything you do blows up in your face! You’re so angry, you do it all yourself.”

“ENOUGH!”

One of the beams on the hall leading up to the main battery snapped. A light blew, showering sparks. Rhaella backed away, frightened.

“I’m sick of hearing you whining about being a legal adult, when you don’t goddamn _act_ like one!” I gritted. “You think I treat you like a kid? Every time I try to talk to you like I would anyone else you don’t raise viable arguments, you don’t reply reasonably, you just try to insult me. _I’m done with it._ If you want to fuck up your life, fuck it up on your own time, and _don’t_ come crying to me when it all goes to hell.” I turned around, back to Vega, inhaled deeply, and clocked him in the jaw. With that, I turned and stormed out of the mess, back into the lift, fuming. “Take me to the CIC, EDI,” I muttered, rubbing at throbbing temples.

“ _Certainly._ ”

A silence, amid the whirring of the elevator.

“ _Jeff has a younger sister as well,_ ” EDI spoke. “ _Perhaps you would speak with him about it_?”

“Thanks, EDI,” I said, softly. “But…I don’t think we’re at a place where I can just walk up and ask for advice. Besides, I don’t give a damn.”

“ _I think you do_.”

“Well, I don’t. She can grow up on her own, if she thinks it’s so glamorous. And I won’t ask Joker about it, either.”

“ _I have tracked a forty-two percent increase in his sighing and staring vacantly into the midground quotas._ ”

I blinked. “You…you track that?”

“ _And I have calculated a ninety-three point six-one-four probability margin that he is thinking of you,”_ she went on, ignoring me. “ _He has been playing a multitude of holo-vids famous for their portrayal of difficult relationships._ ”

I looked at the ceiling, frowning. “EDI, that could mean anything.”

“ _That’s bull crap,_ ” EDI said, evenly.

I paused. “…EDI?”

She took a moment in answering primly: “I have been picking up phrases from Specialist Traynor. Will that be all?” the elevator doors opened.

I stepped out, nodding. “Uh…thanks?” I walked out, turned, and headed away to my room.

A few hours of sleep; and then EDI was waking me to inform me the transfer had been authorized, and the ready check for the ground team was in half an hour.

I suited up, hoisted my shotgun and loaded onto the shuttle with the others- a smaller group for practicality’s sake; only Garrus, Liara, Charlie and I. Wrex sat in as well, and as Cortez brought us down to the planet’s green surface, the krogan clan leader looked about and smiled.

“We’re almost there,” Liara said, moving to stand near the cockpit and hold on to the overhead handles.

“Couldn’t think of anyone else to see this through with,” Wrex told her. She smiled as well.

Garrus coughed loudly. Wrex turned to his side, said, “And I guess there’s room for you too, Garrus.”

“Would’ve thought you’d gone soft on that throne of yours,” Garrus quipped. “Forgotten how to hold a gun.”

I nodded slightly at the old friends’ banter, and smiled somewhat to myself, folding my hands, shotgun across my lap. Wrex looked across the shuttle, then, at me. “So. Liara. Garrus. Does this one fight as well as she talks?”

I looked to him, cocked my notched eyebrow. “It’s a ready fire aim some days,” Garrus said, and Liara just nodded. “You’re just as likely to be bled out by one of her speeches as you are on the battlefield.”

“If this goes well, there won’t be anything more than words,” I said, shifting on my seat.

Charlie sighed. “Here’s hoping.”

Almost as if on cue, Cortez spoke not a moment later. “Commander, we got a problem.”

Charlie rose, moving into the cockpit. “What is it, Cortez?”

“They’re saying we’re not authorized to land here,” he said, waving a hand at the red lockout screen.

Wrex stood suddenly, making the whole shuttle sway. “I knew they wouldn’t keep their word,” he growled.

“Wrex,” said Charlie, warningly.

“Let’s see those salarians deal with a krogan air-drop.” He pulled open the door, and leapt, landing with a huge _thud_ on the ground. Three salarians approached him, their pistols aloft. “This is an unauthorized landing!” said the first.

“And who authorized _you_ to hold my people hostage?” Wrex roared, tossing two of them easily back like dolls in a wash of blue biotics.

“Wait!” a fourth salarian, clad in black armor, rushed out onto the landing pad. “Wait! Hold your fire, please! We just got the message a few moments ago.” Wrex paused, clutching his shotgun close. “You’re clear to land.”

Cortez brought the shuttle down, and Charlie disembarked; Liara, Garrus, and I in tow.

“The krogan will have to stay here, under guard,” the black-armored salarian informed us. Wrex growled, but Charlie gave him a reproachful look, and he relented. “I’m keeping my gun,” he said. “First whiff of trouble, I’m out.”

His guard brought him away and the black armored salarian gestured to the pedway before us. “Please follow me.”

We did so. “Padok Wiks,” he told us, “apologies for the slight delay. Commander Shepard, I presume?” he turned to Charlie and shook her hand. “Your companions…?”

“Doctor Liara T’Soni,” Charlie provided, and Liara shook his hand as well. “This is Garrus Vakarian of Palaven Command and Alliance diplomatic Lieutenant Glenn.”

I shook the salarian’s hand, and then followed him down into the base main. The transfer station, as we watched, moved a yahg in, growling. “I had hoped to never see one of those again,” sighed Liara.

I patted her shoulder, comfortingly. “Only 108, Blue. Today’s the first day of the rest of your life.”

Padok faced us, walking backwards as we moved in. “It’ll take just a moment to approve the transfer. Feel free to look around. Speak with me when you’re ready.”

I looked at the terminal on the left. I moved closer, tilted my head and appraised the console before reaching out-

“Don’t touch that,” snapped the salarian, working diligently at its keypad.

“I see you’ve gotten a promotion,” came Charlie’s voice a ways away; and I turned and went to see which old acquaintance she was meeting with now. “Glenn, this is Major Kirrahe,” Charlie shared, when I approached. “He fought with us at Virmire.”

“ _Captain_ Kirrahe, back then,” Garrus shared, and the verdant green salarian nodded his head. “Always good to see familiar faces in times like these- though, it seems times like these are what brings us together.” He turned back. “It looks like you’ve been processed.” He held out his hand again to Charlie. “I want you to know- regardless of what the governments say, you can count on my support in retaking Earth. Consider it my paying back of a favor.” He nodded. “I hope to see you again soon.” As he moved off, Charlie gestured us forward to speak to Padok Wiks. We passed by the salarian and his console again, which I reached out to prod-

“If you’re so enamored by a feces analyzer, I’d suggest getting your own!”

Padok turned to us when we approached, then walked across to the terminal and pushed a button. “Senior research director Wiks authorizing visitors down below.” He looked back to us. “If you’ll proceed into the elevator-”

He was cut off by a sudden blaring of alarms. “ _Alert. Threat Level 2 has been detected. Scramble readiness teams._ ”

Salarians began to move about with an increased urgency. We exchanged looks, frowning, looked back to Padok. “What’s happening?”

“Please, Commander,” he said, edging away, “Someone will meet you on the lower levels.” Reluctantly, we stepped inside and watched him hurrying away through the crack in the closing doors.

“Reapers?” Garrus spoke.

“The last I looked they were nowhere close to the Annos Basin,” Liara frowned.

I crossed my arms. “I would say it’s possible that it’s nothing,” Charlie said, “But I’d be afraid you’d all think I was being funny.”

I shook my head. “This place is top secret,” I said as the doors opened. “I doubt the STG gets this up in arms when a pyjak trips the-”

I froze at the familiar figure ahead, doubting for half a second but it was really him. “All specimens are accounted for, sir.” The crowd of soldiers moved aside, giving me an unobstructed view of the salarian there.

“Mordin!” I practically squealed, running into his arms like a father come back from deployment. I hugged him tight, and stepped back and let him examine me at arm’s length, like he did. “Glenn. Looking well. Alliance. Hm…not surprised. Uniform…fitting.” An audible inhale. “Good to see you.” And he hugged me again.

As the others stepped up, he smiled. “Shepard. Excellent timing. Good to have you here.”

“Mordin?” Charlie looked around.

“Eyesight still sharp. Hadn’t expected to return to work,” he said, stepping forward. “Surprise understandable.”

Garrus looked around. “You’re back with STG?”

Mordin nodded, stepped in close and raised a hand to whisper, “Fed information to Clan Urdnot. Encouraged political pressure to free females.”

“You must be Wrex’s informant,” I said, grinning.

Mordin smiled. “Had to be me,” he said. “Someone else might have gotten it wrong.”

Charlie edged to the front. “Are the females here?”

Mordin nodded, but he was in a hurry as always. “Isn’t safe here. Unknown presence detected on the borders- have to get offworld, for sake of krogan.” He led us to a long row of glass tubes, like we saw in Wrex’s security feed. “Females had weakened immune systems. Side effect of Maelon’s cure. These…didn’t make it.”

I counted three covered bodies: each like the one in Maelon’s lab, shrouded and silent. I put a hand on Mordin’s shoulder. “I’m sure you did everything you could, Mordin.”

“ _All personnel must remain on-site until further notice._ ”

Mordin, his life measured in precious minutes fewer than ours, moved on quickly. “One survived. Can synthesize cure from her tissue.”

“She’s the only one left?” Charlie asked.

Mordin nodded. “Yes. Last hope for krogan. She dies, genophage cure…problematic.”

We halted before the last case – inside, a krogan female stood tranquil, ageless in the midst of the salarians rushing across the lab.

“Please be careful,” said Mordin, “Krogan slow to trust.”

Charlie stood forward. “I’m Commander Shepard,” she said. “Alliance Navy.” The female didn’t move, but when she spoke, her voice was strong, ancient but timeless.

“Are you here to kill me, Commander Shepard?”

Charlie paused. “No,” she said. “Urdnot Wrex and I are here to take you home.” She frowned, suddenly. “Have the salarians been mistreating you?”

“Those were my sisters you saw back there,” she said. “They died in a lot of pain.”

“Did what we could,” said Mordin, sadly.

“And now I know I’m the only one left,” she continued. “That makes me dangerous to a lot of people.” A pause. “What am I to you, Commander Shepard?”

Charlie lifted her head high. “You are the krogan’s last hope. Their future. I’m fighting for that.”

And then, the alarms grew louder, and more insistent. “ _Enemy ships have breached the perimeter. Assume lockdown procedures._ ”

The krogan female looked ominously to us all. “Then I hope you brought an army.”

“Give me an update!” a nearby scientist demanded, and a soldier at a terminal shook his head. “Outbound communications have been severed. We’re cut off. Securing data to an offworld location.” The scientist ran to the terminal by the female’s case, and began typing something out.

“What’s going on?” Charlie demanded. Her omni-tool buzzed, and she turned to let Wrex’s face pop up onto a projected screen. “ _Shepard, Cerberus made it to the base. Get the females out of there, now!_ ”

“There’s only one, Wrex,” said Charlie, looking back to the female in her tube. “It might be safer down here right now.”

“ _What?_ ” Wrex retorted, “ _So the salarians can kill her like the rest? No deal. If you want this alliance, you get her out of there._ ”

Charlie shut off the channel, biting off a curse, then turned to the salarian at the terminal. “Release her.”

“I can’t,” the scientist objected. “Protocol states during lockdown no specimen-AAH!” he was cut off by a sharp shock from Mordin’s omni-tool.

“Objection noted,” said Mordin. “Now, please release krogan.”

Reluctantly, the scientist set to it, and Mordin stepped into the case. “Will have to monitor pod as it clears security checks. Meet you at the next console.” He looked to me. “Coming, Glenn?”

I stepped inside, and the pod began to lift off.

Charlie looked up to the female, in her restraints. “You’ll see Tuchanka again. I promise.”

“Get to the checkpoint, Shepard!” Mordin called, just as we moved out of view.

I set to work at one side of the terminal as it began to lift off. “Good to work again,” said Mordin, as we progressed through the transfer. “Missed my old lab partner, though. Biochemists here frightfully dull.”

“Mordin, “I said, slowly, “This is the salarian Special Tasks Group.”

“Aware of that!” He retorted. “Could learn a thing or two, from you. Always, checking formulas should have memories, so horribly slow to realize errors in calculation…”

I couldn’t help grinning as we lifted ever higher. “Well, I’m happy to see you again, too. Good to have friends in the lower places, if you catch my drift.” I caught his sideways smile just before we emerged at the first checkpoint. It was overrun by Cerberus.

“DUCK!” I shot behind the metal scene of the case, ducking around to shoot and pull biotics. Cerberus began to return fire; and their first shots bounced off the kinetic barrier.

More fire from the other side, and the team came through, activating the first protocol. The case began to rise again. “Are you all right?” Charlie asked.

“Female is stable,” Mordin said. “Had to compensate-”

“I’m fine, Shepard,” the female cut in.

A pause. Charlie nodded. “We’ll meet you at the second checkpoint!” She promised, and they were off again.

“Shepard looks stressed, “Mordin remarked.

“Can you blame her? Trying to bring in uncooperative galaxy together under circumstances of certain annihilation.” _Not to mention her dying lover._

“And you?” He looked sideways. I shrugged. “Earning scars, getting inked, same as always,” I replied.

“Joker?”

I paused. “We, ah… Had a bit of a misunderstanding. “

Mordin paused. “Resolved? No?”

“No,” I sighed, “it was… Kind of bad.”

Mordin blinked at me, returned to his terminal. “Simple,” he said. “We kill the Joker.”

“Mordin,” I sighed, “I had to give the whole talk to Thane and I’d especially not like to repeat it.”

Charlie was already ready to wave us through the second checkpoint. “How many more checkpoints?” she asked.

“Just the landing zone,” replied Mordin. “Hope Urdnot Wrex is still waiting.”

“Wrex can’t keep his hands off a fertile female,” the female remarked. “He’ll be there.” She glared at Charlie, as she tapped at the terminal. “This isn’t your problem, Commander. You don’t know me.”

Charlie finished the command code. “But I’d like to,” she said, as we began to lift away. “I’ll see you at the LZ.”

We were on our way again- but as we were lifted off, a Cerberus shuttle dropped in and fired a few shots. Then, we were off to transfer at last.

“Really, though, “I said. “I’m glad to see you.”

Mordin smiled. “And you, Glenn.”

Then, we’d reached the LZ. As Charlie approached, Mordin gestured at the terminal. “Need to approve final release. Pod transfers to loading area after that.” Charlie set and tapped out the authorization quickly, and our pod began to lift up again- but the course of true love (and transfers) never did run smooth, and-

“Shepard!” Wrex roared over comms, “you’ve got a mech coming in your way! “Right on cue, the ATLAS landed. The team turned, cocked guns, and charged. As the mech trained its anti-tank missiles on the case, I stepped up, embraced eternity, and reinforced the barrier a hundredfold.

As I held fast the barricade, I heard- or felt, rather- a voice. The krogan female. _I had sensed something different_ , she whispered. _You are not quite as you seem._

 _In that, I’m not alone_ , I thought, as our minds met. I could sense the virility in her, the promise of a new future rooted in the glory of the ancients.

Far away, there was a breaking in the mech, the loud explosion that signaled its end. I let the barrier drop; let our minds return to the single consciousness of most. I felt suddenly older and younger at once. Wrex had arrived, and was approaching the case. I looked briefly to the female, all hidden from view but her eyes. I hadn’t learned her name from the meld- somehow; she had kept it from me. But through her, I had learned of something else- a future for the krogan.

Mordin and I disembarked the case, and he turned back to offer his hand to our charge. Wrex, upon his approach, pushed Mordin aside, and held out his own hand instead. The female stepped out lacking any help, and surveyed the wreckage of her hot, humid surroundings. Suddenly, two Cerberus troopers came tearing around the corner, rifles trained on us. Faster than anyone, the female seized Wrex’s shotgun and blew huge holes in both of them, washing the pristine white floors in red blood.

When we all look to her she simply shoved the shotgun back at its owner, stated, “I can take care of myself,” and walked for the shuttle.

_Well, that was unexpected. Somewhat. Actually…no, I don’t know what to think. File it for later, Glenn._

Charlie turned, went for one of the downed Cerberus troopers. “Why is Cerberus here?” She demanded, pulling him up by the collar. “What do they want?”

The Cerberus trooper choked, spluttered, and died. Charlie let him drop. She straightened out and stood still for a moment, then pressed her earpiece. “Omaha to _Normandy_. We retrieved our objective and we’re heading back now. Cortez?”

“As long as I can drive,” he groused. Wrex rolled his eyes, muttering about humans with weak stomachs.

Right, “Charlie shut off comms, nodded to the rest of us. “We’re good here. “

As we returned to the shuttle, I found the terminal, now missing its salarian, and triumphantly prodded it.


	10. An Interlude (Filled In Itself with Other Occupancies)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the phrase "if you find yourself crying by what you're writing, you can count on your readers to be touched as well" holds any sliver of truth, then we're all fucked.
> 
> Hem. This chapter killed my soul. I thought Bioware did it (credit to them, yadda yadda), but I just took the pieces and broke it more. Never mind me, I'll just go sit and weep in the corner.

The brief to Hackett itself was, well, brief. The mission aftermath and all was an exhaustive process, but that, at least, was easy.

“Glad to hear about the progress,” he said. “But a cure for the genophage?”

“Debates aside, sir, the krogan won’t budge,” Charlie replied. “The salarians are unhappy, understandably, but… We’ve got no time to waste.”

“I’ll defer to your judgment on this one,” he said. “Keep me posted. Hackett out.”

As he disintegrated, Charlie turned back to me, collecting her thoughts. “We have a meeting in the conference room, after which I want you checking on the female.”

I nodded. “Aye aye, ma’am.”

I followed her to the meeting table, filed in with the Primarch, Wrex, and Mordin. “How’s the krogan female?” Victus asked.

“Well, “Mordin replied. “Immune system weakened; but compensating. Eve will be fine.”

Charlie tilted her head. “Eve?”

“Human ship,” said Mordin. “Human theology seemed appropriate.”

I nodded. “Mordin, how long do you think it will take to synthesize a cure?”

“Few days, from Eve’s tissue sample.” Mordin blinked. “Will require healthy krogan male tissue as well.”

Wrex spread his arms. “You’re looking right at it.” He sighed, jostling his armor. “Love to fight with you again, Shepard, but if this is where I’m needed, I’ll stay.”

Charlie nodded. “Anything else?”

Mordin held up a finger. “Would request Glenn’s help.”

“You can have her until I need her, “Charlie replied. “Dr. Chakwas has lent you the med bay, you can set up there.”

Mordin nodded, and headed off.

“Commander, “the Primarch spoke. “If I may. There is…business, I would like to discuss with you.” He glanced to the side, at Wrex. “In private.”

“Yeah, well I’ve got matters need attending to…” Wrex added, shooting a pointed look at the kiss. “In private.”

Charlie threw her hands up in the air. “Well, I’ll be in the war room when you want to talk.” She left, and I didn’t stay long either.

I moved through the scanner, made a quick stop at my room, and then took the lift down to the crew deck. _Eve_ , I thought, walking to the med day. _Human theology. My name is Legion, for we are many_. When I stepped inside, Mordin was mid-babble. “-understand krogan women find facial scarring attractive. Garrus loyal. Reasonably intelligent. Somewhat aggressive. Almost like krogan.”

“For the third time, Doctor,” said Eve, somewhat testily, “I’m not interested.”

I moved inside, my boot heels clicking on the floors. “Yeah, and besides, Garrus has got eyes only for Pax Shepherd.” I approached the krogan as she sat, on an exam table with her knees hugged to her chest. “How are you settling in, Eve?”

“I’m fine,” she said to me. After a moment she spoke again: “You’re the one they call Glenn. The doctor speaks well of you.”

“I am,” I said, looking to Mordin questioningly. “Glenn!” he said, “We were just-”

Wrex came stepping inside halfway through his spiel, looking around. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Wrex,” Eve assured. “You can relax.”

“You can’t be too careful, “he said, looking with narrowed eyes at Mordin. I folded my arms. “Or put too much faith in salarian doctors.”

“This one is different,” Eve told him, tersely.

“Is he?” Wrex looked now, to Mordin. “What’s that?”

“Simple blood test,” said Mordin, beginning to administer it.

“What kind?” Wrex demanded.

“Kind that ends the genophage,” retorted Mordin. “Glenn, please, distractions counterproductive. Also, affecting comfort of patient.” In Mordinese, _make him go away._

“He was your inside source, Wrex,” I said, “You can trust him.”

“Salarians have minds like a maze,” said Wrex. “You never know when they’re leading you into a trap.”

Now Mordin turn to Wrex, scowling fiercely (a look that was more adorable than anything on a salarian). “Trap? Eve’s release my doing. Would never have known about her if not for me.”

“That was then,” Wrex admitted, “But she’s out now. And if she gets hurt, _I’ll feel it._ ”

“Understand,” Mordin retorted, undaunted. “But my patient. My responsibility. Her welfare a priority. Will not allow her to be compromised by anyone.”

Wrex stared for a moment. Then, he laughed. “You’ve got a quad, Doctor! Keep her safe.” He set out for the door again. “Our females have endured enough.”

“Don’t forget, still need your tissue sample,” Mordin spoke.

Wrex paused in the doorway. “I’ll be back,” he muttered.

“Common phobia,” said Mordin, when he left. “Fear of needles.”

I cocked an eyebrow, mouth quirking. “Or salarian doctors.” I folded my arms, propped a hip on Eve’s table. “Speaking of that, Mordin, what are you gonna do when all this is over?”

Mordin looked over his shoulder, smiling. “Retire, maybe. Walk on the beach, look at seashells.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “You’d go crazy inside of a minute.”

“Maybe…run tests on the seashells,” he conceded.

I smiled, nodded into the ensuing quiet.

“Protection…” Mordin murmured, to the silence. “Not needed. Men go to battle. Women wage war. Queen, most powerful piece on human chessboard…reason game is won by killing the king…” he trailed off into a string of incoherent babble, and I turned back to Eve.

“Wrex,” Eve sighed. In her voice I detected the amused exasperation of a wizened woman who had long thought she was too old to fall in love. “When he’s not trying to sire half of Tuchanka, he’s the best thing that’s happened to the krogan. “A pause. “Don’t tell him that. It’ll go to his already-oversized head.”

I laughed. “Yeah. He did seem different than the others.”

“Most krogan are selfish,” she said. “Only concerned for their own survival. He’s a mutant. “She chuckled. “That, you can tell him. “

I smiled, nodding. “Someday we’ll show the men how it’s done,” she promised me.

“Deal,” I said, nodding.

I looked to Mordin, but he had his back turned, and was still likely engrossed in his datafeed.

“And what do you think of him?” I asked her.

Eve looked over. “He’s not like other salarians,” she decided.

Mordin rambled aloud: “No, no, no- organ redundancy results in new period before metaphase. Can’t alter that. Damage to telomeres, premature aging…”

I smiled, fondly. “He does that.”

“But I sense pain in him, too.” I looked back to her. “He told me about his work on the genophage.” She shook her head. “I should consider him an enemy. But…I think seeing my sisters and I changed something in him.”

Mordin began to hum to himself over at the terminal: “Asari-vorcha offspring have an allergy to dairy, ah da dee da da da - do da da da - da da da dum - da da dum…”

“Certainly wasn’t his ear,” I murmured, mouth quirking sideways.

Eve looked down to me. “You think of him like a father.”

I looked to her, and she turned to the side. “Krogan treasure their children. Now more than ever, when so if you live. He talks of you like a daughter that he was lucky to find. “

I paused a moment, unsure of what to say.

As I turned to look over Mordin’s preliminary notes, another question arose behind me: “Your markings.”

I’d ditched my coat in my room; with it my outfit was edgy, without it, it was downright pornographic. My corset laced in the back, bearing to view tattoos all along my back, my arms, and down my hips, where my leather pants slung low. When Eve asked, I turned around to her, tracing the black sweeps down my clavicles, the arms of the mercenaries who raised me, the dot like a bundle in a mother’s embrace, brushing at last against Thane’s pendant. “Oh… Well, they’re not symbolic or anything- at least, not in the sense I think you mean. They’re not a mark of any group. They’re…personal. This one on my back? That’s for when I helped take down the Collectors. Most of these designs actually stand for the people in my life. People who shaped me.” I turned, let her look at the Blue Suns insignia across my shoulderblades; the sweeping kanji that meant _thief_ , the broad strokes down my arms reminiscent of a drell’s dorsals. Then I turned back to Eve, who appraised me still.

“You are young,” she said. “But old.”

I raised my eyebrows. “How old do you think I am?”

She blinked. “189.”

I turned away, leaned on the console. “I’m twenty-seven.” A pause. “Had my birthday not long before the dirty dozen split up.” Mordin paused, now looking up. “November eleventh, “I shared, as an afterthought.

“Had no idea,” said Mordin. “Best belated wishes.”

“Thanks, “I said, affording him half of a smile and bracing up to sit on another of the exam tables. I rolled my shoulders, hooked my thumbs into my belt loops, swung my legs a bit and slid down to my feet again. “You were in my head. You saw what I am.”

Eve took a moment in answering. “You will always be a child of two worlds, Glenn,” she said. “You do not know who you are, and that makes you more receptive to change. That is a gift you can use to understand others. Take now; you work alongside both krogan and salarian.”

“And possess a great fondness for them both,” I said, lifting my head level.

Eve nodded. I folded my arms, looked to Mordin. “I think you’re doing fine for now. I’ll check back in a bit?”

Mordin just nodded, and I smiled at him and Eve once more before I left them.

As I checked my messages on the way out, I found one that informed me my new pistol had arrived from requisitions, and I set a course immediately for the shuttle bay.

The door opened, though I halted almost immediately going in. Cortez was standing, hunched over a terminal, a recording filling the quiet hum of the shuttle bay: “ _I love you, but I know you. Don’t make me an anchor, promise me, Steve._ ”

Like he’d sensed I was there, Cortez turned around with reddened, glistening eyes, and hurriedly punched the _off_ button. “Sorry, ma’am,” he said, scrubbing at his eyes and sniffing slightly. “Didn’t see you there. Do you need something?”

An overwhelming part of me was screaming, _leave it alone, let it be, grab the pistol from the locker and go._ Instead, I found myself speaking; “Are you okay, Cortez?” _Right, yeah, great, Glenn, give him a way out. Like that’s what okay looks like._

Cortez, true to my pessimistic hindsight, scrubbed at his eyes, nodded. “I’m fine. Are you here for the Paladin? It just got here yesterday, I sent you a message-”

“Who was that?” I asked. “On the recording?” Internally, I cringed, _yeah, right, first go passive-aggressive and then start prying into his business. James T. Kirk, Glenn, get a handle on it._

Cortez looked behind him, shuffling slightly as if to hide the datapad containing said recording. “Just…that was my husband. Robert. We were…we lived at Ferris Fields together, and then the Collectors attacked…”

“You watched him get taken?” I asked, eyebrows knitting together.

“No, no,” he shook his head. “I was a few clicks south of the main settlement when they hit. Working on some sort of…I don’t even remember now. The Collectors came, and Robert- well, he could have run. He called me, instead. I…” he bit off, trying to control his emotions.

“I always see you working,” I said, quietly, stepping closer and folding my arms. “Don’t you ever take any downtime?”

“I get my sleep,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Even that’s hard sometimes.”

“Let me back up: what did you do when you had free time, before?”

He paused, thinking. “When I was a Trident,” he said, slowly, “Back at Arcturus. I used to sit by the docking bay and turn off the audial dampeners…just watch all the ships drift by in silence.” There was the hint of a smile on his face.

“There are places like that on the Citadel,” I said, propping my hip on the req terminal. “Tell you what- next time we dock there, you and me. Take a bit of time off- watch the ships. You game?”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know.” He pulled the package containing my new pistol from the locker, and handed it over.

“Steve,” I said, and he looked at me. I pulled my very best charming smile. “For me.”

He blinked. Then, he afforded me a tiny smile in return. “All right. An hour or so.”

“That’s all I ask,” I said, turning away. “It’s a date. Well. Not that kind of date. I mean, you don’t swing that way- not that I don’t…you’re fun! Like, pilots, I like pilots, of course I like pilots. We’ve liked pilots since _Top Gun,_ and I’m…” I’d backed into the elevator, and the doors were (mercifully) closing. “I’ll just…yeah.” They shut, and I exhaled heavily, scrubbing at my face, borrowing a phrase from my beloved Ken Donnelly; “Oi.”

Once I was convinced I’d finished with the foot-in-mouth putting, I ventured back to my room and sat down to work. Of course, as is the order of the universe, soon there was another interruption.

“ _Glenn, your sister is outside,_ ” EDI spoke. I looked to the ceiling, then scowled. “Well, what the hell does she want? Has she joined a cult? Shaved her head? ‘Cause I’m the wrong one for that.”

“ _She seems upset, Glenn. It may be likely she is looking for advice._ ”

I snorted. “ _My_ advice? Since when do kids take their legal guardian’s advice? She’d justify anything with ‘because Glenn said to do the other thing’.”

“ _If something truly distressing has occurred, it may be possible that she genuinely needs and seeks out your experience._ ”

I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose. “You’re not gonna give up on this. Tell me this, is she still out there?”

A prim “ _Yes._ ” Was it just me, or was EDI getting prim-er? Only way to be _more_ prim was to just be British.

I gave a reluctant sigh. “Send her in,” I waved.

The door opened, and Rhaella shuffled inside. She did, indeed, look scared. Like she’d been crying. For all my bluster, some small part in me stirred, a protective piece that immediately wanted to take her into my arms. The rest of me scoffed, _could give less than two shits._ Besides; my interrogation experience knew comforting her would have her breaking down immediately. No, first I had to figure out what was eating at her. Frankly, I was _hoping_ for psychosis, fear of impending death, or final acceptance of father’s douchebaggery. Anything other than what I was thinking she was about to say.

Her hands shook, as they fiddled nervously in front of her. I turned my chair her way, raised my eyebrows. “Well?” I let my hands pan out. “Out with it.”

Rhaella swallowed hard. Fat tears brimmed in her big blue eyes, and her lip trembled. _Dear God, if you’re there and you pull this shit on me, so help me, my next tattoo will be a pentagram on my left ass cheek._

“I’m pregnant,” she said, in a small quivering voice almost lost amid the humming in the bulkheads. “It’s James’,” she added, like an afterthought, hell, like it could _be_ anyone else.

_Shit._

_Penta-ass tattoo, here I come._

I sighed, took a moment to pinch the bridge of my nose again, to fend off the oncoming headache. “I think it speaks volumes how not surprised I am by this,” I said.

“Well, you did the same thing on Omega!” she lashed out, the tears brimming even brighter, catching the dim light, fists swinging balled at her sides. There was the defensive streak, right on time. “You brought a different person to sleep with you every night! James is only one person, and I really care about him.”

“All right, first of all, do _not_ come here looking for my help, and then slut shame me,” I stood up. I towered over her, easily by six inches; she barely cleared five foot.

She crossed her arms. “Who said I need your help?” she looked to the side, but the tears were flowing now, and her lip was trembling even harder.

I cocked an eyebrow. “You told Vega yet?” Silence. “Anyone?”

“I told Gabby,” she said.

I sighed. “Yeah. Look, am I disappointed? Yeah. And not because you slept with him; believe me, I’ll be the last person to scream ‘Holy shit, women have _sex_?’ No, what gets me is the timing. Like I said before, you knew him for a month. You’ve _known_ him for a month. Even when _I_ was having my have-sex-before-I-die fling, I still had things like contraceptive implants and kinetic ejaculate-neutralizers. Point is; the fact that you slept with him now, under these circumstances, that’s all academic, the facts are that you had _everything_ at your disposal to prevent this. You’re twenty; you’re allowed to walk into a store and buy these things, you’re allowed to ask the Doc to fit you with a standard-issue reproductive graft.” As I laid it out in front of her, the tears started to come faster, and she took a huge, shaky breath and started to sob.

I paused, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and let it out. “Come here,” I murmured, stepped up and hugged her close, sitting my head on top of hers and waiting until the worst of it had been let out before I asked, “So, what are you gonna do?”

She sniffled into my shoulder. “I-I d-don’t know. What should I do?”

I sighed, couldn’t help a small smile. “Kids. You never want to hear what to do, until it’s too big to face? Isn’t that how it works?”

A watery laugh, into my shoulder. I smoothed her hair back, and stepped back, petting stray strands away from her blotchy, tear-streaked face. “What would I do? Well, I’m active duty, kiddo. I’d have to get an abortion for it to stay that way, but me? Well, I’ve got a strong moral objection to stamping out life before it even has the chance to fight for its right to be.” I stopped, and pressed my mouth tightly together. “This, though…isn’t about me. This is your kid. Yours and Vega’s. I’m only going to _tell_ you to do one thing, and that’s to talk this through with him. You two decide what you want to do. In the end, it’s really up to you. You’re the one carrying the child to term.” I paused, and went back to my terminal, punching out a quick message to Vega to tell him Rhaella needed to come have a serious chat with him, and now was good.

“I will say this, though, if you do choose to get that abortion, don’t kid yourself that you’re not committing murder. That’s a life in there.” I pointed at her stomach. “You’d be ending that life.” I turned back to the terminal. “It’s a difficult issue- always has been. But it’s within your choices.” I straightened up, looking her dead in the eye. “In the end, that’s your call to make.”

Rhaella blinked at me, wiping roughly at the tear tracks with the back of her hand. “Why are you helping me now?”

I blinked at her.

“Because,” I said, finally. “We’re all that we have left. I’m tired of fighting you. We’ll always fight a little- hell, we’re sisters. We’re gonna do that. A lot. But…” I trailed off, sighed and shrugged my shoulders. “We’re there for each other when it counts. Right?”

She kept her eyes on me, nodded, slowly, and smiled, just slightly.

I stepped up, hugged her again, and planted a kiss on the top of her head, ruffling her hair a bit. “We’ll get through this. Promise.”

As I stepped back, holding her hands and squeezing them, the door opened to reveal a concerned-looking James Vega. Rhaella turned around, and his brows only crinkled farther. “What’s wrong, _mi fresa_?”

I coughed slightly, and skirted him out into the CIC. “I’ll leave you two alone,” I said, as the doors closed.

I made it a few steps before leaning on the terminal by the galaxy map. The ship was near-empty, the night cycle begun and most personnel in their beds asleep. A few had the night watch, and Joker was by all means probably still in his damned chair. It struck me, I might not get another chance this good to talk to him, but I wasn’t ready. I was tired out from my previous conversation, and I at least needed something fortifying before even attempting something like that.

In other words: “Shit, I need a drink.”

As I stepped onto the lift, EDI saw fit to inform me: “ _It would appear Paxton is occupying the bar on the port observation deck._ ”

I stretched. “Oh, good. Company.” The lift deposited me on level three, and I stepped out, past the memorial wall, dimly lit in the relative dark, white names flashing in the distant light of the ever-bright med bay. Likely Mordin, up testing culture samples at an ungodly hour- damned salarians, and their four-hour sleep schedule.

Paxton looked up when I entered. She looked like she was holding a bourbon with ice. I sucked in a breath. “Don’t let Kenneth catch you drinking that; he’ll never take orders from you again.”

Pax raised an eyebrow. “Like he does now?”

I paused. “Point.”

I moved into the cabinets, digging into the shadowy corners near the back. “What are you after?” she asked me.

“Secret stash,” I answered, finally coming up with a teabag. Thane’s personal blend; something he’d gotten me addicted to- thankfully, my information broker’s salary had always paid for it; and I’d stashed enough creds from ten years in the biz to birth two financially secure krogan children, including life and broken stuff insurance.

“What’s got you up at this hour?” I asked, as I set water to heating.

“Pondering,” she said, lifting her glass, the ice clinking inside. “With something bracing. You?”

I sighed. “Family matters.” I dropped the teabag into a mug, leaned on the counter to wait on my water. “Rhaella’s pregnant.”

Paxton sucked in a breath. “Ouch.” She took a drink out of her glass. “Heard about the big hoo-ha with Vega- everyone did, actually, was all over scuttlebutt in fifteen minutes.” She put her glass down, raised her eyebrows at me. “So how’d she take it?”

“About how I expected,” I replied, “Couldn’t barely keep from crying the whole time.”

Paxton dropped her chin onto a hand, brows furrowing. “And you’re going for tea? Something in me was betting on chugging whiskey out of the bottle.”

“I’d like to be sober, still,” I said, and as the water achieved the appropriate temperature the thermal sensors began to blare. “Got her and James to talking; we’ll see what they work out.”

Now Paxton seemed truly surprised. “You helped her?”

I poured the water. “What was I gonna do, shank her in the spleens? We might not see eye-to-eye, but…she’s still my _sister._ She’s blood of my blood.” I set the kettle down, leaning heavily on the counter, dropping my head between my shoulders. “And I’ve got no reason to cut her out of my life. If that doesn’t count for something, then…I don’t know what does.”

When I turned back, Paxton was staring intently at the table, narrowed eyes. She drank again from her bourbon. “There’s a very fine line between efficiency and ruthlessness. Some days I have to wonder which side I’m on. If I’m a sensitive soul or the galaxy’s biggest jackass; because there are _some_ people I’d do anything for…and there are others I’d rather throw to the Reapers.” She shrugged. “I grew up on ships; the crew was always my family, when my own was far away.” She looked away, to the side. “It wasn’t until a few years ago until I started realizing the strength of blood ties.”

A few minutes passed. I pulled out the teabag, tossed it, and came to sit next to Pax with my mug. “So, what are you staying sober for?” she asked me, looking to the side and raising her eyebrow.

I drank out of the mug, swallowing down the scalding hot herbal blend. “I’m thinking…it might be time to have that talk with Joker.”

Paxton heaved a huge sigh. “God, _please._ Everyone on the ship is going a bit _crazy_ with you two and your couple problems. Javik keeps going on and on about your outrageous pheromone odor, and I think if it continues it’s going to trip The Avatar State.”

I blinked at her. “Okay, first, A plus use of reference joke- second of all, there’s no need for everyone to be all up in our business, and _third,_ isn’t this an Alliance ship? _Regs_ , and everything?”

Paxton started to giggle- and snort, which meant she was buzzed. “Come on. Most of the superior officers on this ship, department heads and everything- they came from the first _Normandy._ Where they had _bets_ going on John and Kaidan concerning who topped. Don’t even get me started on the matchmaking Tali tried to do, between me and Garrus…” she sighed, waving a hand. “Look, it’s war. We’re fighting giant machines from outside the galaxy, and we don’t know if we’re gonna see the next day. Attributing everyone’s stress to the fact that you two can’t get your asses in gear and fix your issues, because you’re obviously still crazy about each other, you just can’t swallow your pride and approach the other for a hot make-out session that will make you both forget about what you were fighting about in the first place.” She gave me a drunken point, eyes narrowed and unfocused, finger pointing slightly to my left.

“You sound like you’ve thought it out,” I said, drily.

“Look,” she sighed. “Point is…I had to overcome a galaxy of fools and foolish things, a few FUBARs, a couple of bad decisions, a few random strokes of fate, societal phobias, an acid-unconformity and my own inhibitions to find the love of my life. It’s never easy. What is it Thane used to say? Nothing that’s worth anything is. Something on that order.” She shrugged. “Things don’t get served up on silver platters in this world; you want change, you gotta make it happen. So drink that, and go talk to him. That’s what I gotta say.”

I blinked. “Wait, wait, back up. You said…we’re obviously still crazy about each other.”

Paxton threw her head back, with a theatrical gagging noise, raven hair flying and hitting me a little in the face. “You should see the looks he gives you when you’re not looking, it is _worse_ than _Fleet and Flotilla._ And you’re just as bad; you do this ‘pondering the mysteries of life’ thing that means you’re thinking about him, and then you make some smart-aleck remark that would’ve started some Butch and Sundance back and forth, _God,_ it’s _so bad._ ”

I rubbed the back of my neck, frowning. She sighed dramatically at me. “And that’s the gospel truth.” She nodded, and drained her glass.

“Yeah, yeah, just crowning the new shipper slash nerd queen of the SSV _Normandy,_ you sure it was Kasumi that was coming up with couple names?”

Paxton sighed, letting her eyes slide serenely shut. “Look. I’ll tell you what I told Charlie- she’s Commander Shepard, she could have _any_ guy she wants and probably a good few girls, too. I mean. She’s _Commander Shepard._ ” She shrugged. “You’re kind of similar. With that…asari…neurochemical thing Mordin tried to explain to me. Even _I_ think you’re kinda hot, and the first smokin’ piece of ass _I_ ever met was Nihlus Kryik.”

I blinked some more, and then slowly pried the empty glass from her hand. “All right, I think that’s enough for you.”

“Just…look,” she said. “True love…isn’t something that just _happens_. You know? It’s when you look at one person for the thousandth time, and you realize- there _are_ other fish in the sea, but _this_ is the only one you’ll ever want.”

I had to stop and gape at that. Wisdom, from the mouths of drunks. Babes. Well, she was kind of a babe. Drunk babe. Off-topic. It was another one of those revelation moments.

 “World isn’t perfect,” she shrugged. “It’s inhabited by scads of imperfect people. But in the end we find what we need. Someone’s gotta be looking out for us.” She eyed me again, pointed unsteadily to my tea. “Drink that. Go get him.”

I blinked. Drained the mug, set it into the sink.

“Yeah,” she whispered, slowly sinking facedown into the bar. “Get it, girl.”

“I will,” I said, and she nodded, with closing eyes as she slowly fell asleep on the table.

I stopped, moved her over to the couch before I left.

“EDI,” I said, when I got into the lift, standing at parade rest. “He’s still at the helm, right?”

“ _Without fail,_ ” she said. I smiled, nodded. “Yeah, just checking.”

The lift doors opened, and I stepped out onto the CIC. “ _Good luck, Glenn,”_ she told me, as I began on my way.

“Thanks,” I murmured, then, barely a whisper, “For everything.”

I hesitated to approach the bridge, knowing as soon as I got close enough to trigger the automatic door mechanism, it would open, and he would know, and I would be stuck. Part of me screamed to turn back. Also, I probably should not have drank that much tea so fast, because now I had to pee.

I sucked it up (figuratively and literally), and walked slowly inside.

When the door hissed open, he turned the chair around without fail, raising his eyebrows like he was expecting the commander- when he realized it was me, he blinked, lowered his eyes, looked off to the side. His hands came to sit in his lap, fiddling awkwardly with his thumbs.

I sighed, hand coming up to rub the back of my neck. “So…I guess EDI told you about the whole…interception debacle.”

He didn’t look at me. “Yeah.”

A brief pause, before I spoke again. “So…can we call truce, then?”

His gaze flickered to mine, for the briefest of seconds. “Truce,” he repeated, carefully.

“Yeah,” I said, nodding, and then I was the one who couldn’t look at him, him or the faded yellow bruise on his cheekbone. “So we can just…talk about this. Like grown-ups, without the…slapping.” A pause. “Sorry,” I blurted. “About that.” I waved an indeterminate hand in the direction of his face.

“Why _would_ you be?” he said, quietly, to his lap.

“Because…I _love_ you, dammit.” At that, he looked up, shocked. “I still do.” I looked, frowned to my side. “Even after everything, I…I want to talk about this. I want to fix it, no matter how hard it is, or how long it takes.”

A long silence. Finally, Joker shook his head. “I was being an asshat. I…I _have_ been an asshat. I guess…I'm just sick of this fighting. I don't want to be mad at each other anymore.” He looked up, finally, our eyes met. I couldn’t deny the sudden sparks that manifested at the base of my spine, sending shivers all along my skin. The ship suddenly seemed colder, my skin erupted in gooseprickles. “I missed…talking to you,” he said, softly.

After I’d composed myself, rid my system of any Shalei nonsense, I managed to fold my arms, clear my throat: “Okay. That's a start.”

Joker shrugged. “I… What I said to you was horrible and uncalled for.” He took a deep breath. “I'm sorry.”

I squeezed at the bridge of my nose, winding my eyes tightly shut. “And that’s great and all, but…it’s not that simple.” I faced him again, dead in the eye this time, assuming the Vulcan face, not giving anything up. “I felt like you'd been thinking about those things a long time before you ever said them. Like they're those thoughts you have but you never articulate, because it's socially intolerable.”

“Shit, Glenn.” He scrubbed at his face, eyes screwed shut. “I…how do I even say this?” he opened his eyes, sitting his hands back at the armrests, shoulders tense. “I don't think those things about you are true. I was mad at you. I jumped to conclusions and I was feeling hurt, so I lashed out at you. That wasn't the right thing to do, I know. I'm sorry for that.”

“You said I'll sleep with anything that breathes, Jeff,” I reminded him- quietly, impassably. The truth; cutting in and of itself. “That's…it’s _worded_ harshly, but there's a shred of truth there.

“Glenn, I didn't mean that.” His voice, soft and desperate, pleading with me to be convinced of his sincerity. I was, but still, truth was still holding up the barricade, there had to be lucidity before there could be forgiveness.

“Then what _did_ you mean?” I asked him. “Because you're right; I have an inherent attraction to pretty much anything sapient and intelligent, and I have my father and his little lab experiment to thank for that. The point is that you tried to make me feel bad about the amount of sex I have.” I stopped, scowled again somewhere off to the side. “Had, actually. Just thought you should know I wasn't with anyone in the six months we were apart. I _waited_ for you, Jeff, and when I got there my only welcome was a verbal slap and an offensive and incorrect assumption.” I folded my arms, jaw set, brows down as I waited for his response.

He lowered his eyes, closed them, leaned forward and dug the heels of his hands into his eyelids, rubbing hard at them- tired, I knew, from staring at the interface all the damned day, _avoiding something else, trying not to think of how long it’s been since he touched someone else, every inch of skin and scar and scrap of metal reminds him of the one he used to know_. “I know,” he said, a pause, as he opened them and blinked away the dark spots. “I'm sorry, Glenn,” he said. “It's…it’s one of those things that you don't realize until someone points it out. It is a shitty double-standard.” He sighed, looking lower than ever. “And it's one I propagated. I… can't tell you how bad I feel about that.”

A long silence.

“I really hurt you. That's something I'll regret until the day I die.” Finally, he looked up to me, eyes unbearably soft, vulnerable. “I just want to make things right.” He’d said everything right, been nothing but compromising, apologetic- pressing the point now would just be nagging, harsh, digging a spike into his exposed underbelly.

I sighed, eyes squeezing shut, mouth pressing tightly shut. “Fine.” When I opened them, he had a careful neutral look on his face, waiting for the verdict. “I can write it off the first time as societal tendencies,” I said, “But none of that from now on. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” he said, nodding, but I- so used to the tone of his voice- knew his ‘hiding his immense relief’ voice when I heard it. “I guess…except for…I mean.” He took a deep breath, eyes flickering to the floor, and then back to me. “Where we stand. What we are…now. I mean…” he sighed, with a shrug.

When I didn’t answer, he blurted into the silence again: “I'm sorry. I… don't know if you believe me.” He stared at his anxiously working hands. “And… I can't blame if you don't. Just know that. I truly am.” There was a brief pause, in which I thought to speak, but he spoke hurriedly again to fill the silence: “And we don't have to go back to being buddies after this. Just…small talk in the mess, a little comm chatter during missions. Galaxy of Fantasy; maybe. If you’re still into that. I know we're not gonna go back to unraveling string theory right away.” He looked, nervously up to me, chewing a bit on his lower lip. “It's not gonna be easy to unfuck this.” His eyes darted to his hands again, which had stilled, somewhat. “Nothing worth keeping is.”

Both of us were quiet, after that, for a long time. “I…” my fists clenched at my sides. I closed my eyes, tightly, willing sudden tears away. “Damn it, I…” I took a deep breath. “I think… I think that we just need some time.” I opened my eyes, and his were on me, always, infallibly, on me. “It’s been a long time. Six…seven… _eight_ months.” I took a deep breath. “Fact remains…we need to get to know each other again. A bit of time, and…we’ll talk. We’ll figure this out. See other people, if that’s what we have to do.” I let out a long sigh, a weight seeming to lift off of my chest. I nodded, then, almost to myself, closing my eyes and taking a deep, shaky breath.

When I opened my eyes, he was standing right before me, looking up the extra three inches (another two, from the heels). He took my hands. “Whatever you want,” he murmured, his voice husking in the way I’d loved so much. _Missed, so goddamn much._ “That’s what I’ll do. I’ll sit here…” he squeezed my hands. “And I’ll wait for you. For a thousand years, if I have to.” His hands moved up to my elbows, then back down, until our fingers locked together. “You can go off…you can date every other guy, girl in space, move in with them, have their kids…” his hands had tightened on mine, his brows furrowed and his eyes dropped down to our twined fingers. “And I’ll still be here when you come back.” His eyes drifted up to mine, and his face morphed into one of adoration, determination, crippling want and need and emotion all rolled into one shade of pale celadon green. “You can take all the time you need. Everything we have left is yours. I promise you…I will _always_ be here when you come back. Because you…are the love of my life.” His voice had grown suddenly thick with emotion, and he cast his eyes briefly down before coming back up to mine, shimmering with unshed tears. “You,” he said, squeezing my hands, “And me. _We,_ ” he paused, “Are _end_ game. I’ll wait for you until the stars burn out, until the Reapers harvest every last one of us. Until heaven’s skies go black and hell freezes over, I’ll wait for you. And if you never come back to me, at least I know you’re free. And if you do, then I’ll know…I was always meant to have you. And if that’s the case…I’ll have you. For rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, from that day until the end of everything.” He looked at me, tears running clear down his face. “No matter what you do, Glenn, I will _always_ love you. Always, and forever. If you trust nothing else, trust that. Trust us.”

Our lips crashed together in a mess of salt and sobs, hands finding desperate purchase in the places we had sought so long. We kissed, finally, desperately fading into slowly, passionately by turns, my heart thrumming like a desperate chord, and I couldn’t tell who was crying.

We broke apart as reluctantly as our beginning had been desperate. Our lips parted, slowly, with a soft sound. Eyes, slowly, fluttering open, regarding each other with a certain disbelief, like we couldn’t believe what had just happened. Jeff blinked, holding my gaze a few moments more, and then stepping back to allow my exit.

Slowly, wordlessly, my arms hugged in close to me to fill the sudden void, I began to leave.

Before I could pass the doorframe, I stopped. “Jeff?” I asked, without turning around. I knew he was listening, even if there was no reply. “Goodnight. And… thanks.”

“For what?” the uneven hitch in his step that meant he was coming closer.

“I don't know,” I shrugged, looking still out onto the CIC. “For… not giving up on me.”

I heard him walk up behind me. His hand rested gently, just barely briefly, on one of my elbows. His voice, irreparably gentle, loaded with the love and the fierce devotion in the soul he had just bared for me. “I can't give you up, Glenn.”

_Doubt the light, doubt the sunrise, doubt the stars themselves. But never doubt that I love you._

His hand slid from my elbow. Wordlessly, not because I had nothing to say, but because there were no words, I left him. When I reentered my quarters, I found a single note at my terminal. It was long empty, the room, but the verdict was dispensed in four words: _We’re keeping the baby._

I laid on my bed. And I thought until my head hurt. And I meditated until my soul was on fire. And I prayed. Prayed, until my heart ached. And my knees, for that matter, but something was lighter afterward. Maybe I’d lay off the penta-ass tattoo after all. I fell asleep on my back, staring across the room to the streaks of eezo amid the stars and shoals of dust in the great beyond, the final frontier.

The next morning, in the mess, I quietly made myself tea and sat down, alone with but my thoughts, quietly watching those around me- Paxton making a game of seeing how many donuts she could slide onto a lethargic Garrus’ fringe before he noticed; John reading reports, looking anxiously through his mailbox for another update from Huerta, Charlie talking with a laughing Liara and an ever-cranky Javik. Rhaella, sitting at the next table over and laughing as James tried to feed her strawberries off the end of a fork. There was a disgruntled Engineer Adams, probably wondering why his salary wasn’t higher to babysit these children; as Ken made faces at Gabby from his other side. There was Chakwas, watching the whole thing with pure amusement written in the lines of her face- EDI, learning how to smile from Traynor. Steve was arguing with Mordin about _something_ (poor sap was lost and just didn’t know it.) And I sat, alone with my thoughts and my tea- unnoticed, but sometimes that wasn’t such a bad thing. Sometimes, solitude was a welcome change- sometimes, it was none short of illuminating. Such was what Thane had taught me, in those long-ago years of sun, and sand, and surf on Kahje, when we would sit alone together in mutual silence, watching the hanar drift by. A silence not solemn; neither dull nor dark was the dock. And in my years, I had grown to know life as an outside observer, a watcher of those who lived it.

And then, he was there. Tired; by the rumpled, slept-in look of his clothes, his bed hair, the dark circles under his eyes- the hat, stuffed on over it all. He shuffled in, covering a wide yawn with the back of his hand, pouring coffee drowsily. Somehow, his eyes caught mine, he noticed me looking. He blinked, twice, widely, doing a double-take. At that, I couldn’t help a smile. Maybe, _maybe_ the world was going to hell and no one wanted to believe it, but at least something, _finally,_ was moving in the right direction.

My heart did a flip-flop when his wear-worn face cracked into the jumbled smile of a fool in love. I sipped from my tea, and smiled back over the rim of my mug. He turned back to his coffee, and I sighed, lowered my own drink to the table, hands cupped around its bracing heat. Like the breath of life, it seemed to have restored some of its own warmth to me.

 _Yes_ , I thought, as I drank from it again. _Maybe something is finally on the right track again._ And that something, no matter how small or insignificant on the galactic scale, warranted the smallest sliver of hope.


	11. Giant Mutant Bugs, though this Time lacking in Assault Rifles, Will Never Be a Welcome Thing, No Matter How Many Times the Subject is Rehashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm finally home! So glad to be back and writing for you all. I have a few things to report here, so bear with me.
> 
> 1) I have had Imagine Dragons' _Radioactive_ playing on repeat and now cannot stop imagining it for the imaginary trailer of the imaginary TV series that A Matter of Pride is adapted into.
> 
> 2) Star Trek fever claimed me. Expect that crossover soon (and I mean really really crazy soon)- but for now, I can proudly state that this chapter has fulfilled the Dammit Jim Challenge; that being I managed to get all the classic "I'm a doctor, not a _____" jokes into the narrative, as well as a few from the new movies (Karl Urban, my love), as well as a few other subtle and not-so-subtle Bones references. See if you can spot them all.
> 
> 3) Character development! There's some in here, too. Amid all the Star Trek jokes. I guess I'm finally living up to my story tags.
> 
> 4) And FINALLY: we're two chapters away from Priority: Tuchanka, and I am going to CRY.
> 
> 5) Grunt.
> 
> And that is all. Keep in mind that Bioware owns Mass Effect; and enjoy this update. More to come soon!

“All right, team,” said Charlie, hefting her rifle and facing the assembled squad in the shuttle bay. “Wrex and the Primarch have both called important matters to attention. Both of them need fixed; and sooner is better. I’ve decided to deploy two teams to take care of it- John will be leading the Bravo Squad- that’s Javik, EDI, Liara. You’ll drop on Tuchanka and pursue Victus’ objectives here. The _Normandy_ will head out to the Attican Traverse. I’ll take the Omaha fire team- Glenn, Paxton, Garrus, James; and investigate Wrex’s team there. We clear?”

“Ma’am,” said the team. Charlie gestured with her rifle to the shuttle. “Bravo squad, prepare to deploy to planet surface.”

“Aye aye.” The teams proceeded to the shuttle, their weapons readied before them. The bay doors opened, and the shuttle banked away into the atmosphere. The doors closed again, and the ship pulled hard to port and jumped to FTL in seconds. We waited as we made the hyperspace transit, until at last Joker’s voice came in over comms. “Coming in to Utukku, Commander.”

As the bay doors opened, Charlie called over the whipping of the wind: “All right, for those of you who haven’t done planetary drops before: simple! Jump, pull the ripcord when I give the order. Check?”

“Aye aye!”

“On my count,” she called, holding up five fingers. “Echo and Kilo, you jump. On second count, Tango and Delta. We’re free-falling in air wing position, deploying chutes on a ten second delay. First go, second drop.” She held up one finger then, and promptly dropped backwards out of the open door.

A few seconds- then, over the comms, “ _Wing two, drop._ ”

James and I tore off for the door and leapt, ripping down through the air after the spread-eagled form of our commander.

“ _We’re good here, skipper,_ ” I said.

“ _Wing three, drop._ ”

I knew behind us Garrus and Pax would be zipping along at the flanks. Utukku’s surface was racing closer, and I could feel the heat around me of our descent. “ _Wing three in position._ ”

“ _On my count, pull rip cords,_ ” Charlie said, and I grabbed mine, to make sure I had it. “ _Three. Two. One.”_

We all yanked on the cords, and suddenly our descent was slowed immeasurably down. We floated, first roughly, then gently as we caught the planet’s low winds. Finally, we touched the ground. The hit of a button pulled our reinforced parachutes just in. I turned, observed the team and looked up to the sky.

“Well, great,” I said. “How do we get back up?”

Charlie, by now thoroughly accustomed to Glenn’s Automatic Bullshit (if it were weaponized, we’d have kicked the Reapers out already), ignored me, removing her helmet and taking quick stock of our surroundings. “I’m updating your NavPoint with the coordinates Wrex gave me. This is the last known location of the team. Aralakh Company.”

  “Aralakh?” I coughed.

The others looked to me. “What, you heard of them?” James asked.

“They’re like the krogan commandos,” I said, tugging my helmet off too. “At least, that’s the best comparison I can think of. One of few organized military units at the disposal of the krogan clan leader. If Wrex has them under his thumb, it’s likely an Urdnot helming this squad, too.” I paused. “Though, if their CO’s dead and some other one took his place, we could have trouble.”

James took stock of the others’ faces, shrugged, said aloud, “All right, I’ll bite. Since…no one else finds it odd- how do you know all of this?”

“I worked information broker for ten years, kid,” I said, clicking my visor into place and switching it on. “I know everything.”

As I strode ahead, I heard him mutter behind me, “I’m the same age as you.”

Charlie picked up pace with me, leaned my way, murmured, “Any signs of life?”

“Picking up krogan thermal signatures up ahead,” I said, reading off of my visor’s IR, mouth setting. “Not a lot left.”

As we pulled in around a ridge, I saw the small camp up ahead- one krogan was moving through the helmeted ranks. “Shuttle just arrived- team two, you better get moving.”

I jolted at the familiar voice, but Charlie was the first to go, “Grunt?”

“Shepard?” Grunt shoved his way through the krogan, rushing out to us. “Heh! Shepard!” he chuckled, and then looked to me, punching me affectionately in the shoulders. “And Glenn. My _krantt_!”

“Grunt, what are you doing here?” Charlie asked.

“I could ask you the same question,” Grunt said. His crest looked like it had grown in more, he looked older, matured, “Didn’t those idiots lock you up?”

“They did,” Charlie conceded. “Put me in lockdown to keep the batarians off me. Didn’t want problems with the Council while they prepared for war. But…the situation changed.”

“Yeah,” said Grunt, “They’ve got bigger problems, all right. It’s why I’m out here, running Aralakh Company.” He turned and gestured to them. “Tough- think they’re invincible. Reckless, but effective.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Sounds familiar, Grunt. How’d you go from being new and unproven to your own command?”

“Heh,” he chuckled again. “Wasn’t easy. When Wrex put together Aralakh Company, he needed a leader who represented the future of our species. Thanks to you, and Shepard, I completed my rite of passage on Tuchanka and became part of Clan Urdnot. I was an equal- and being the strongest, I was chosen to lead this honored company.”

“I bet some didn’t like a tank-bred krogan being in charge,” I said, hip cocking out to the side when my arms crossed. The krogan, bless their hearts, followed the motion intently. Either they hadn’t seen krogan females in a while, or I was really starting to get ahold of that asari allure.

“Heh,” said Grunt, “I collected more than a few scars earning my place here. These krogan respect me.”

I grinned, shaking my head slightly. “You were a pain in the ass, Grunt, but if these krogan are half the soldier you are, we might make it out of here.”

Charlie returned from the ranks of the rest, and as Garrus went to say his hellos to Grunt, I moved in next to her. “What’s the plan, Charles?”

“Well, Wrex said there were rumors of rachni,” she said. “We need to check those out. And then, we rendezvous with the _Normandy_ and pick up the others.”

“Mordin and I are almost done with the genophage cure,” I said, and Charlie nodded. “Good. We can see there from here. Let’s move out.”

Grunt had come back, close enough to hear the all-clear. “Pick up what you need in the camp- we’ll meet you at the next outpost.” He began to gather his team, and I watched them move around the next bend in the canyon, then turning back to my team.

“He’s all grown up,” I said, smiling, and moved among the others to set my shotgun down on the nearby weapons bench.

Apparently, Vega was right behind me. “You’ve traveled with krogan?”

“Yeah. Tough sons of bitches; even their toddlers are murderers.” I tested the suspension on my new upgrades, sucking my lower lip between my teeth while I fixed a slight error in the integrity of the weapon’s frame.

“I’ve fought with one before.”

“Well, damn, Jimmy, aren’t you something special?” I picked up the Wraith again, cradling it across my front and walking away, back towards Garrus and the sisters Shepard, discussing tactics and vantage points in their little huddle up ahead.

James came after me. “Why are you so bitchy? We have to work together, you know, we may as well get along.”

I turned on a heel to jab a finger into his chest (and I didn’t even have to reach up; bless my height.) “Any _shred_ of respect I had for you, I lost when you knocked my little sister up. The unprotected sex snafu is on you, too, and the only reason I haven’t torn your arms off and beaten you with them is because you’re staying with her and doing the responsible thing.” My eyes narrowed. “And _don’t_ call me a bitch. I don’t have to pretend to like you.” I turned again on my heel, and walked to rejoin the group.

 _Fucking sexists. Goddamn misogyny. Fucking fuck fuckery fuck._ I put off the internal swearing, settled to roll my eyes and mutter, “Damn it, Jim,” and asked aloud, “So, what’s the plan?”

Charlie rolled her shoulders, shifting the grip on her trusty assault rifle. “We’re joining Grunt at the camp; and we’re moving forward.” She shrugged. “We’ll know better once we get into the place.”

And so we walked around the bend, to the last outpost, the caverns looming up ahead of us. The entrance to the tunnel yawned before the tiny prefab structures, a dark maw with shrouded secrets. I stopped to look around, frowning, and then pressed ahead when James stopped too.

“What’s the story, Grunt?” Charlie, Pax, and Garrus stopped to check in with him; but I caught a sight of something scurrying just out of sight; into the shadowy interior of one of the shelters.

I moved quickly ahead, hoisting my shotgun to deal with it, hearing another heavy set of steps behind me-

I stepped into the structure, and looked around. Nothing; but then the scuttling came again, and I whipped around just in time to see something crawl out the window, down towards the cliffside.

“What is it?” Vega hissed, moving inside. I shook my head, scowling, and before I could formulate my answer; the ground shook with a violent tremor. The support beams groaned, I shouted, “MOVE!” and we didn’t make it three feet before the whole thing tipped over and slid down the rocky slope, juddering us to the ground as we landed in the ravine below.

“Ugh.” I shoved a piece of debris off of me, and shielded my eyes from the dust and the glare of the planet’s star, to peer above at the rest of the squad. “ _Are you okay down there_?”

“We’re fine,” I called up towards them, as James wormed his way from beneath a fallen metal beam. “Go on ahead; we’ll catch up to you.” Charlie nodded on the ridge above, and the team hurried ahead.

James swayed to his feet, twisting his neck to the side until it cracked. After a wince, he asked me, “What now?”

I cocked my shotgun, and pointed the muzzle down into the tunnels. “Now, we go in, lieutenant.”

Hesitantly, he followed me in. As we plunged into the total darkness, and our flashlights flicked on, little things with legs scurried away from view. He jumped visibly behind me, his heart rate started to race.

“Afraid of the things that go bump in the night?” I said, lowly, my mouth curling into a sardonic grin.

“That’s not funny,” he said, voice shaking with audible fear.

“Try not to drop your gun,” I remarked, offhand. “It’ll scare the creepy-crawlies.”

“Stop it!” he protested.

“All right, all right, just a bit of friendly advice,” I put up the _who, me?_ hands, and then looked to my omni-tool when it started to beep frantically. I opened up NavPoint, and cursed, banging on the controls.

“What is it? What’s going on?”

“We just lost our maps,” I said.

“I thought this place wasn’t mapped?” he frowned at me, and then jumped at another skittering noise somewhere behind us. As he scanned the walls with his flashlight for the crawling thing, I shook my head. “It wasn’t- but we just lost our proximity scanner to the rest of the team. Likely our comm channel’s gone dead too.” I stepped away, pressing my earpiece. “Check, check, anyone on this frequency?” I was met only with static. “ _Dammit_.”

I turned back to James, shrugged. “Well, we’re dead in the water.”

He looked about ready to piss himself. “Can’t you fix them up? With, like- a bobby pin and the scrap metal off your visor?”

“Dammit, Jim, I’m an information broker, _not_ a magician!” I snapped, and tugged off my helmet to wipe wearily at my face. “Look, for now we get through the tunnels. _Then,_ we figure out what to do. For now, there’s only one way to go, and that’s in.”

As we stepped through the dark, listening to the drips and the occasional scuttle, I kept tapping at my omni-tool, testing the comms. The further we went into the abyss, the more screwed-up they seemed to become. “This isn’t normal underground signal blockage. Something’s actively interfering with our communications.”

“Well, that’s comforting,” James muttered, and promptly jumped again when another scuttling noise sounded off into the dark- then, he promptly stumbled and fell.

“Jeez, rubber knees, what’s gotten into you?” I bent to give him a hand up. “What was it, loose rock?” As I turned my flashlight onto the obstruction, a sudden ice settled into my veins. It was a krogan; looking to be one of Grunt’s missing scouts. I knelt by the body, started to check for vitals.

“Is he alive?” whispered James, sounding more fearful than ever. “He could be regenerating there.”

I shook my head. “He’s dead, Jim. Cold and dead; probably for a few days now.” I stood up, swiveled my flashlight around, and grimaced. “Good God.”

James turned, and gasped lowly. “What the hell-?”

I stepped forward, squinted, and looked over the swollen, tech-infused creature. “It looks like- and I’m just taking a SWAG here-”

“…swag?”

“Scientific Wild-Assed Guess, Jim- I’ve never _seen_ a live rachni, but that’s my guess as to what this may be. And if that’s a correct assumption,” I kicked the gun mounted on the thing’s head. “Then the Reapers have been here too.”

We surveyed the thing in silence, and I looked to my left. “Jim, you look a little green.”

“I…” he turned away, and hissed out a tight breath. “It’s…these damned… _things._ It’s these tunnels. It…it’s too much like the Collector ship, every time I hear something-” he took a deep breath, turning back to me. “It’s like they’re here all over again, and I’m _leaving_ an entire colony of people for some damned intel that turns out to be _useless_.”

I blinked at him, then blew an exasperated sigh, shrugging. “Well, damn it, Jim, what do you want me to do, pull out a couch and a stool? You think I hide legal pads and golf pencils in my breastplate; along with sympathetic nods? I’m a xenobiologist, not a psychiatrist.”

“I don’t know,” he says, somewhat manically, “You yell at people and they somehow shape up! Isn’t that what psychiatrists do?”

“Shape up, my ass,” I muttered, and walked along the tunnels. “Don’t pander to me, kid, I’ve had some of the best doctors money can buy; _they_ called _me_ a lost cause.”

“Will you stop with the _kid_?” he fumed, storming up to catch up with me. “I’m the same age as you, all right?”

“Yeah, and you knocked up my _kid_ sister, kid,” I snapped. “You might not be any older or younger than me; but you’ve certainly got the brain of a nineteen-year-old.”

“And why _Jim_?” he asked me, his brow crunching in the middle and- all right, maybe that was a little cute. But I found that cute on everyone. Including Joker. It was also eight billion times cuter when Joker did it.

“Jim, short for James, Jim,” I said, in my very best _duh_ voice, as we continued along.

“Stop calling me Jim,” he said, tersely.

“Sure thing, Jim,” I said.

“All the people I had to get stuck with in a goddamn tunnel…” he muttered, shaking his head and letting loose a gusty sigh.

“Dammit, Jim, don’t start that, we’ve got no time for quantum mechanics.” I stopped, as I took in the webbing that obscured our way forward. “I’m a diplomatic advisory, not a physicist.”

James rolled his eyes, which then got huge at the obstructing web. “Well, hell,” he muttered. “How do we get through that, then? Any bright ideas?”

I rolled my eyes. “Hell if I know, Jim, I’m a vanguard, not an engineer.”

He turned away, rolling his eyes, muttering, “Right.”

I tilted my head, appraising the web, and then promptly sat down and started scratching at the dirt with the blade jutting from the muzzle of my shotgun.

After a long while leaning on the wall, James straightened up. “Rhaella really does look up to you, you know.”

I looked up, and blinked at him. “And now for something completely different? I think you’re short one pink string bikini, Jim.”

“I mean…she thinks you’re tough. Not the word I’d have used…” he shrugged, plunking down onto the rock next to me.

“She’s not a blue-collar marine, Jim.”

“I know. Still.” He sighed. “I…I really do love her. I knew it…the second I looked at her.”

I tried my very best not to gag. “All right. And that’s enough for me.”

“I just thought you’d do better knowing that,” he snapped, after me. “You’re the one who was so up-in-arms about us staying together; I’d assumed you’d seen it too.”

“ _Nothing_ I do is for any of your sakes,” I turned, jabbing a finger at the middle of his chest. “I could give less than a damn about you, _or_ Rhaella. Make no mistakes and hold no illusions; the only one I’m concerned for is that child.”

James blinked. “The…the baby?”

“You two could bump uglies forever and it wouldn’t matter to me,” I said, once again surveying the web keeping us back. “The fact that you screwed up and made a baby- I’m keeping you honest the way no one did to _my_ father.” I stepped up to him, nose to nose. “I’m not seeing that bull happen again with any kid, _especially_ not one who’s got a dose of my blood in their veins. _Every_ child deserves to be loved, no matter who they are, no matter how they came about, and I’d fight like hell to see my own niece, nephew, whatever, get that from their parents.” I turned back to the web. “You and Rhaella’s supposed star-crossed love? I could not care less. Hand me a grenade.”

For a moment, only silence. “Why?” he asked, finally, crossing his arms.

I waved my outstretched hand. “So we can keep moving, smartass? I’ve got a hunch; fire might just be the way to get on with it.”

“Then why the grenade? We need _fire,_ not explosions.”

“Do you see a flammable material and a catalyst around here, for Christ’s sakes?” I sighed. “Dammit, Jim, I’m an investigative researcher, not a coal miner.”

Grudgingly, James handed me the grenade. I pulled the pin and tossed it, plugged my ears, and watched the webbing go up in flames. He shook his head at my triumphant nod, and followed me onwards.

As we continued, we came across a huge wall obstructing the way before us; and a large server node that appeared to be hosting it. “Biotic,” I said, when James looked at me expectantly. “Not a mechanic.”

I sidled up to the thing, nonetheless, and observed it- the tubes running away through the ground. Then I stepped back, drew my pistol, and shot it. It took a few slugs, but the barrier dropped, exposing a noxious odor ahead, a nest of suspicious-looking spore pods, and a sudden clamor of voices over our comm. “ _Echo Kilo this is Omaha Delta Tango, do you copy?_ ” powering through the static, I pushed my earpiece, said, “This is Echo, Kilo and I are alive and in the tunnels, do you copy?”

“ _What’s the situation_?” Charlie asked me.

“I think we’ve identified an established Reaper presence,” I said. “As well as the rachni. We found dead scouts. Right now I think we’re looking at a breeding ground.” I paused, to swallow the bile welling in my throat. “They’re building a rachni army.”

A faint explosion in the earpiece jerked me back to reality. “Omaha, what’s your position?”

“ _We’re with Grunt and what’s left of Aralakh company_ ,” she said, and then grunted. There was a barrage of rifle fire and the sound of someone applying medigel. “ _We’re holding off these things, but we haven’t got much time._ ”

I pulled up my NavPoint, and saw our scanners restored. “Omaha, we’re close to your position. We can flank the enemy and reinforce you on your right.”

“ _No_ ,” Charlie bit at me. “ _I see you. You need to get down that tunnel, into the main chamber, and kill this now before it gets too big. That’s an order._ ”

Perhaps I was getting good at following orders, because I only froze for a half of a second. “Yes, ma’am,” I said, and turned to beckon James down the chamber.

As we neared the spore pods, one of them burst, and showered me in an acidic spray that had my armor’s warning scans flashing. I staggered back, and saw suddenly the swarmers that had been crawling on the walls all this time. I yanked my pistol and shot it. Seconds later, a grenade from James blew the whole lot. He helped me up. “Thanks,” I said, somewhat stunned, but then we were off, running again into the last, central chamber; and staring straight into the face of…

Bugs. Giant, mutant, alien bugs. God _damn_ it.

“Fuck me,” I muttered, and beside me James wore an intense snarl as he cocked his rifle.

“You heard the commander,” he muttered, “Let’s blow this thing.”

“How?” I gaped, gesturing with my pistol. “See the size of that thing? We’d need the _Normandy_ ’s Thanix cannon to take that monster out.”

“And I don’t suppose you could deconstruct your shotgun to make one?” he quipped, eyebrows sidling up.

“Dammit, Jim, I’m a weapons modder, not a torpedo technician,” I muttered, stepping up and lifting my Paladin. “Let’s get this thing in the eye and find the brain.”

As I said that, suddenly the bug reared- held back by its Reaper constraints, but I staggered back nonetheless. I cringed. Thing had way too many eyes. Worse than a batarian. And then the krogan corpses started talking. “ _Wait. Stop._ ”

I looked around, floored. “God in heaven,” I murmured.

“ _I…hear you. Your song…has washed away the sour notes of the machines._ ” The alien queen regarded me. “ _We sing…for the children…but they do not answer. They are…silent. The machines…have taken them away._ ”

“You seeing this too?” James murmured.

I pressed my earpiece. “Hey, Charles? Found the queen. She’s reanimating corpses. That normal?”

“ _The rachni queen_?” more barrages of fire. “ _That’s how she talks to you. Listen, I saved her three years ago on Noveria. She was supposed to disappear. Ask her how they found her._ ”

I turned to the alien queen. “You. I serve under Commander Shepard.”

The queen shuddered in her constraints. “ _You are…touched by the song…of she…who freed me._ ”

“-and you were supposed to disappear,” I said. “What happened here?”

“ _We…did as we promised. We…retreated. We…burrowed. We…built._ ”

James looked doubtfully around. “Built?” he looked expectantly to me, but I scowled, hissed, “God dammit, Jim, they were an extinct species to me up until six minutes ago, you expect me to know the nuances of their architectural style?” I gestured wildly around. “I’m an anthropologist, not a bricklayer!”

“ _The machines came,_ ” said the queen, oblivious to our argument and the running-out of our time. “ _They…stole the children. Took them…to die far away. Silent._ ” She looked to her side, off to the Reaper node that linked to her constraints. “ _Free us,_ ” she said, “ _We will fight._ ”

I pressed the earpiece. “Echo to Omaha. Queenie here says she’ll help us if we let her go.”

“ _We’re out of time,_ ” Charlie said, breathlessly, “ _Can she get out of here_?”

I looked over, appraised her as she clicked and shrieked weakly at the rumbling of the cavern walls, the echoing sounds of oncoming Reaper forces. “No. She’d need someone to cover her while she got out.”

“ _Shepard, we’ve got to make a decision here,_ ” Grunt came in.

“ _We…hate the machines!_ ” the queen said, vehemently, through the mouths of a thousand dead. “ _The children…will help fight…build._ ”

“It took the uplifting of another indestructible race to put the rachni down before,” I said, into the channel. “You let her go once already, Charles, if you leave her here the rachni are going to go back to being ancient history.”

A silence, save only for gunfire and screeching. Then, Charlie spoke: “ _Hold your position. We’ll rendezvous with you in the center chamber._ ”

My mouth pressed tight together. “Understood.” I lifted my pistol, shot the node, and watched as the queen shrieked, broke her bonds, and began to crawl away.

“ _Damn it, Shepard!_ ” Grunt roared, “ _I’m leaving my squad._ ”

“ _On our way to your location, Echo Kilo._ ” Charlie’s voice was grim, heavy with the weight of the krogan left in the tunnels, sacrifice, bought time to let the queen escape.

James and I shared a look, and assumed defensive positions. The clicking of the ravagers came in louder and louder against the cavern walls; my visor informed me of the rapid increase in my squadmate’s heartbeat.

Then came Charlie; Paxton and Garrus sprinting behind her, the Reapers’ rachni like a black swarm behind them. Grunt shot in from the side, and together we all took off towards the exit. We ran into a sharp incline, Garrus and Grunt halted to boost Paxton and Charlie up the wall, and James looked at me for a half a second, before grabbing me around the waist just as I started to do the patented Justicar Samara biotic float. He swayed my flight pattern, and I cursed as I shakily got us both up the path. “Dammit, Jim,” I spat, as I applied my pull power to yank Garrus and Grunt up behind us, “I’m a _biotic,_ not an _escalator._ ”

And then we were running again, the rachni right at our heels. They chased behind us, poured from tributary tunnels, from holes in the ceiling. Grunt roared, “ _follow me_ ,” and led us into a narrow stemming path that bottlenecked our pursuers, slowing their hunt. We emerged, very suddenly, into the blinding light of the ending day.

“The shuttle’s just down that path,” Grunt said, gesturing. When we didn’t move, looking at him blankly where he stood, feet planted and gun cradled at the ready, he bit off at us, “Go! I’ll hold them off.”

Charlie looked like she might have said something- but the determination in his face clearly stopped her. This krogan; this foolish young krogan who fought with us, called Charlie his battlemaster and thought of her like his mother, my _krantt._ Instead, she touched his shoulder. He nodded, to Garrus and Paxton, who gripped their rifles tight and exchanged a tight, anguished look.

My throat suddenly clamping shut, I moved up and hugged the monster toddler lizard that I had shared my mission with, my secrets, my life. He held me tightly back, only for a moment. I stepped back, rubbed a hand against his cheek, and smiled in spite of the tears. “ _Bel-akh_ ,” I said, simply.

And then, the clicking was swelling from the tunnels again. Grunt turned around to boldly face them- “Go!” he said. And my legs locked, and I was going to stand there and fight them off with him, but James grabbed my arm and yanked me as we ran.

For a long time, we heard the roars of a krogan in a blood rage, and the wet sounds of blood- then, nothing at all.

We trudged back to the krogan shuttle in silence. Charlie, ahead, was clearly not in her talking mood, and Garrus had an arm around Paxton’s sagging shoulders, rifle dangling from a loose hand as we made our way slowly up the hill, boots leaving shallow prints in the loose, red sand.

James fell back, to walk with me in the rearguard.

“You guys were close?”

I shrugged, miserably. “Hell, I don’t know. Maybe not as many as some of the others. He was _young._ He wasn’t even a year old, will you believe that?” I turned back to look at the canyon from whence we’d come, and shook my head marginally. “But…we went through hell together. I was there when he won the right to be part of a clan. We defeated a thresher maw together. We fought through the Collector Base in the same team. I just wish…” I trailed off. “I don’t know what I wish. I wish I might have known him better.”

James was silent for a long moment. “What did you call him?” he asked. “Just before we left.”

I blinked. “ _Bel-akh_ ,” I repeated. “It’s a very old krogan dialect. Used mostly among the krogan; almost never to other species. That’s why translators don’t recognize it.” I tugged off my helmet, wiped roughly at the tear tracks on my cheeks, trailing dirt and smearing the two with the blood on my gloves as I did so. “The closest translation is ‘blood-brother’. The bond shared between those two that have fought through such things together. Who have that understanding. There…is no word in any other language to express that.” I smiled slightly.

James looked at me. Then, he shook his head. “Always figured the krogan were just the space Spartans. I mean…I figured they just liked to fight- saw one of their ladies, figured the guys got the pretty gene.” He shook his head. “I never knew they had…a culture. Language and all that.”

“A lot of it was lost when the salarians uplifted them.” I sighed. “They grew up too fast to fight everyone else’s war.” A long silence. Of all the things in this galaxy…that’s one of the saddest things, to me.”

James continued to trudge up with me- we were the last ones to the shuttle, the others already having made it on board. “You ever thought of trying to find it again? Krogan culture? There’s got to be some ruins out there, somewhere.”

“Ah, ruins, that’s Blue’s magic spot.” I stepped up onto the edge of the shuttle, held onto the doorframe, and looked back out over the red terrain. “She’s got the next nine hundred years. The future. Me? I’ll be gone long before she’s ever old and wise.” My mouth ticked, though the ache gnawed even harder in my throat. It was a sad smile. “Funny, life is…so short.” I stopped, and shook my head. “Besides. I’m a cynic, not a scientist.”

James stepped into the shuttle beside me. Charlie started up the comms, and Paxton and Garrus patched us into the _Normandy._ “Joker? We’re the last ones out.”

“ _Prepared to pick you up, Commander._ ”

Charlie looked to me. “You fly this thing?”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, looking sideways, taking stock of my team. “I’m a Kodiak hobbyist, not a moon shuttle conductor.” I took one hesitant step to the cockpit, then looked back to the ridge.

And gasped, wordlessly, as a single, battered, bloodied figure staggered up into full view.

“ _GRUNT_!” we were out of the shuttle in an instant, rushing to him, holding him up, helping him stagger to the shuttle. “Anybody…” he huffed, “Got something…to eat?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Bel-akh_ is adapted loosely from the Arabic word for brother- الأخ


	12. An Odd Meeting of an Interesting Crew, a Series of Command Reports, and a Very Thorny Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how 'bout that Capaldi guy? I like him.
> 
> Anyway; the word for this chapter is "crossover". A very subtle one, albeit. Also, plot twist.
> 
> That won't be as subtle.
> 
> Anyway! New art! A FANTASTIC Glenn piece I drew that I am quite proud of, showing off her new outfit AND her finalized, canonical tattoos. [There are a few easter eggs in here, see if you can spot 'em. ;)](http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/217/8/0/glenn__beyond_pride_outfit_by_vigilante_archangel-d6gty17.png)
> 
> Additionally, there is a sheet showing ALL her tattoos (not all are featured in the picture): [Descriptions and stories included.](http://vigilante-archangel.deviantart.com/art/Glenn-tattoos-and-meanings-391068382)
> 
> As always, it belongs to Bioware. I hope you enjoy. (And now I'll retreat to go cry about Tuchanka.)

Grunt was fast-tracked back to the Citadel with the next patrol we ran across- after seeing him off into proper hands, the _Normandy_ peeled off and headed back towards Tuchanka, to find the remainder of our crew and prepare for the final stages of the mission. I’d visited the med bay to get a read on the cure’s progress, but Mordin had been so neck-deep and close to a breakthrough that he’d barely had time to frantically shoo me out. So, I went to the cockpit instead.

Jeff looked up at me, signature cocky sideways smirk plastered onto his face as I entered; still in my armor. “So. Our little tank baby’s all grown up, huh?”

I nodded, placing a hand on the back of his chair (I wasn’t the only one to do this, but I was the only one he didn’t berate for it.) “Yep. The doc’s said he’ll be up and killing again in no time.”

“Well, he learned from the best,” he chuckled, tapping on the interface. “Every time he incinerates someone with a shotgun and does that little laugh, he’ll think of you.”

“Me and Charles,” I agreed, sitting precariously down on the unoccupied armrest. “What’s up?”

“Work,” he gave me a sideways look. “You know, watching buttons flash. Sometimes I press one. Why are you sitting up there? Copilot’s seat is perfectly unoccupied.”

I looked to my side. “Yeah,” I conceded, “But…”

“But what?”

“That’s EDI’s chair, though,” I shook my head. “I feel like I’m intruding.”

Joker snorted. “You sat in that chair before her. Blew the Collector Cruiser to hell, in that very spot.”

“Different times,” I said, and stood up. Jeff eyed me, sighed a little, conceded, “Yeah, that setup was making me nervous.”

I folded my arms. “Oh really? Why’s that?”

“Hell, getting you on my lap was precarious enough when all you wore was a couple layers of leather; I’m not especially ready to try that with you in your heavy armor.”

I lifted an eyebrow, trying my hardest not to smile, and failing. He smiled back, and then looked back to the console. “Get out of the plate, though, and I might reconsider.”

I regarded him dryly. “Strip right here on the bridge?”

“Not like you haven’t done it before?” the corner of his mouth curled up, boyishly, deviously. “Remember? After the Collector Base, when you bailed on the party and came up here to visit me?”

I looked out at the FTL charges flickering across the glass window; because if I looked at Jeff my ovaries would probably convulse to a point beyond saving. Just his voice alone was like velvet; and I was internally scheduling Private Time for the not-too-distant future. “I did more than visit,” I reminisced, smiling fondly at the memories.

“Yeah,” he gave a husky chuckle. “Kind of tough, actually. Just to sit up here and try to focus on working; after all the things we did, right here.” I looked back to him with a sly sideways smile, eyebrow cocked. “Beginning to wonder if you hacked my brain, actually. There was no way for you to know my biggest fantasy was getting blown in this chair.”

“I made a wild guess,” I said, and he gave me That Look, his very best bedroom eyes, and in a perfect world I could beam all of my clothes away, crawl into his lap, and do any number of the indecent things currently running through my mind. But this, as I believe I have stated before, is far from a perfect world. Currently obstructing sexy naked fun time was the big fat Relationship Issue and a whole lot of other things too. So we just mutually drifted into the _and maybe one day we can do that again_ silence, running with our own fantasies. Kind of ridiculous, when the subject was standing/sitting ready and able not three feet away.

Humans. Such a silly people.

At any rate; I didn’t have to puzzle it for long, because a Big Red Thing appeared on Joker’s dashboard, and he opened it after a hissed curse. “Shit, what is it now?”

Traynor’s voice opened on the comm. “ _-is nearly destroyed, the crew is disorganized and there’s no other Alliance ships in the area._ ”

“What’s going on?” I leaned into the comm. “Tell me what you picked up, Specialist.”

A frequency popped up onto the screen. “ _We’re receiving a distress signal from an Alliance ship, SSV Enterprise. It’s been attacked by a Reaper patrol- they managed to repel it, but they’re going down fast, and we might be their last hope._ ”

There was a muttered curse, and then Charlie’s voice joined the mix. “Is anyone else still in their armor? There’s no time to suit up.”

“ _I’m ready to go, Shepard,_ ” said Garrus.

“I haven’t showered yet,” I added, and then shook my head at the silence. “Everyone else is detoxed?”

“ _We’ll just have to send you two_ ,” Charlie said, tightly. “ _Joker-”_

“On it.” he was pulling the ship hard to starboard side, and after a brief FTL jump we sped up to the flaming carcass of an Alliance cruiser, turning helplessly in orbit. I could practically sense the tightness in Jeff, and reached down to rub his shoulder before turning to sprint for the shuttle bay. “Garrus, you read me?” I said, pressing my earpiece as I rushed down to the shuttle bay.

“ _I’m heading down there as we speak,_ ” he said, “ _Maintenance tunnels. You take the lift.”_

“We can’t use the shuttle,” I said, “We’re gonna have to do a pressurized drift launch. You ever tried that before?”

“ _Please, you think with me at the main battery you think everything isn’t calibrated to the teeth? I was born ready, Glenn._ ”

I snorted, in spite of everything, and the shuttle doors opened just as Garrus dropped into view out of one of the tunnels. We snatched our helmets and the space packs from the shelves, and waited as the bay opened up to the flaming wreck of the _Enterprise,_ broken and battered, awaiting her last hope.

A nod from Garrus; and we launched.

For a few moments, silence, but for the other’s breathing. We rocketed through space, avoiding the debris and the objects I realized were the spaced bodies of the crew, until at last we hit the biggest hull breach. Our boots magnetized, and I set to shifting broken beams and huge shards of hull to find us a way towards the crew; whilst Garrus began to patch in our communications. First, static, and then a voice: “ _Enterprise to Normandy team, do you copy?_ ”

“This is Echo Tango, Enterprise. We copy.” I replied, uncovering an airlock. “What’s the situation?”

“ _Reaper patrol hit us. It was a small one, not like the ones you see in the vids from Earth. We managed to fight it off, but we’re running out of time and there’s a good chance it’ll be back soon._ ”

“Got a read on your position, Enterprise,” I said, checking their thermal signatures in my visor. “Who am I speaking to?”

“Captain Kirk,” said the speaker.

I had to snort, in spite of…well, everything. “All right, _Jim_ ,” I said, playing along, “let’s get you out of here.”

It was brimstone and fire, when we got in. The bridge was in flames and the crew there in chaotic masses as they rushed around. The captain pushed his way through the panicked crowds; a young man in commanding officer’s dress wearing only a breather mask. “Thank god you’re here,” he said, “Most of the surviving crew’s here; but our way to the escape pods is blocked and I can’t get a coordinated effort to get down there.”

I looked around. “This is everyone?”

The captain looked pained, as I turned back. “We had four hundred thirty-five. I think maybe a hundred six are here.” Kid had some serious blue eyes.

“Then a hundred six are getting out,” I said, determined.

He grabbed onto my arm. “A few of the security officers went to the sick bay to try and get the med techs out. We’ve got people scattered down that way; I can upload you a NavPoint for the corridors.” He brought up his omni-tool, then looked to me, floundering for what to do, clearly pushed beyond the brink and about to the breaking point. I snatched the reins.

“Garrus,” I said, “Help clear a path to the escape pods and tell the _Normandy_ to be prepared to receive survivors; including the injured. I’ll go find the med techs.”

“It’s a suicide run down that way,” Garrus protested.

In response, I threw up a biotic bubble. “Really? The last one was worse,” I said, and whirled to run down the hall.

Burning debris falling choppily onto my barrier was almost as bad as the constant pressure of seeker swarms like clouds of death; but I made it nonetheless. I heard the cries for help before I pinpointed the trapped people behind a large beam that I moved to shift. They had made it from the med bay, the hallway to which looked like the passage to hell itself behind them.

“Is this everyone?” I asked.

A burly security officer, slung over the arm of a wiry nurse who was much stronger than he looked, pointed back down the hall, fearful. “Doc’s still inside. He wouldn’t leave until we all got out first.”

 _And that’s a corpsman for you,_ I thought, and I turned down the hallway to hell.

“I’ve cleared a way back to the bridge,” I said. “My squadmate is helping the crew down to the escape pods. Get down there as fast as you can; this ship is falling apart beneath us.”

And I started down the hallway.

The hull was starting to shake, to creak and groan, and the floors were unstable, like their bolts were coming loose. I put up my barrier again, shoved the obstacles out of my way, and kicked down the long-dead door to the med bay.

I came inside, into the blinding light of more fire. Was _everything_ on fire?

“Hey!” I turned at a voice, and hurried over to the metal beam it seemed to be coming from. “Hey! Down here!”

I bent; and found the doctor, his leg pinned like Zaeed at the refinery on Zorya. “I’m stuck.” I wrapped the arms around the beam and started to lift it- the thing was a dead weight, and at another rumble from the hull, the doctor swatted at my arm, spat, “Leave it, leave me, go!”

I stood up, and shoved the beam across the room with a rippling corona. The doctor looked to the beam, stunned, then to me.

“Dammit, man!” he said, then, hair flopping into his eyes, “Do you know how many ways you could’ve had a seizure just now?”

“Save it for the ride home,” I said, bent, and scooped him up. The captain, Garrus, Traynor, and Charlie were all yelling over the earpiece about how the ship was literally about to come apart and that I needed to get out to the escape pods, _now._

“Hold on tight, Doc,” I said, and put up the barrier.

Then, I _ran_.

I don’t know if I’ve ever gone so fast- maybe in my Omega days, clad in light leather and youthful immortality. Now, I was in heavy armor, maintaining a biotic shield, carrying a forty-year-old doctor and running for my life, for both of our lives. The fact that his was at stake as well perhaps only spurred me on the more, as he gripped tight to me and whispered rusty, out-of-use prayers to a long-ignored god, repeated names like litanies, screwed his eyes up shut and whispered _please, please, please._

And then, suddenly, we’d made it to the row of pods. There was one left, and I practically tossed the doctor in, swung inside after him, and punched the button for the eject.

We jettisoned away.

Seconds later, the stunned report of Traynor carried through: the Enterprise was in pieces. The sound didn’t carry through to us, through the vacuum.

The doctor was breathing heavily, sweaty and soot-stained, sagging in his seat as we rode along to where the _Normandy_ waited.

“ _We’ve got visuals,_ ” came Joker over the pod’s intercom. “ _Picking you up._ ” He sounded like I felt- relieved; and exhausted.

The doctor heaved a sigh, and closed his eyes momentarily. I did the same, but I opened them again when he spoke: “Thank you.”

Wordless, I just nodded, still panting for my breath.

As we were brought from the escape pod and into the shuttle bay, I picked the doctor up, slung his arm over my shoulder, and limped out with him into the crowded spaces, filled with the escaped crew, milling about and searching for each other in the aftermath. My knees felt like rubber.

“Len,” a voice came through, and there was a blonde woman pushing her way through, hurrying up to the prone form of the doctor by my side. Apparently he knew her, because he said, “Prangley,” back, in that same desperate voice; and I unslung his arm so he could fall on her. She took his weight easily, even wrapped her arms around him and buried her nose in his shoulder. “When Cupcake said you’d stayed back…I thought…”

“There, there, darlin’, I came out all right, didn’t I?” she stepped back, looked him over with a tearful smile. “My leg was stuck fast, though, wouldn’t have made it without…” he turned, then paused in realizing he didn’t have my name.

“Glenn,” I said, at parade rest. “Staff Lieutenant Glenn.”

The woman- Prangley, quite pretty, with the build of a security officer- said, “I can’t thank you enough for saving him.”

I shrugged. “That’s what I do.”

She nodded, then turned back to the doctor- Len- and stroked her hands again across the front of his shirt, holding him close for a few brief moments.

I cleared my throat. “Ah…did I hear Prangley?”

She stepped back. “That’s me.”

I blinked. “I ran into a Prangley. Just over a month ago, actually, at Grissom Academy.”

Prangley’s eyes widened. “Jason Prangley? Ensign Jason Prangley? He’s my brother.”

“Well,” I said, with a slight smile, “It’ll be a load off to know that he’s safe. He’s with a biotic support squad reinforcing the front lines- I left him personally in the hands of one of my best friends. I could probably get you two in touch, if you want that.”

Her eyes had steadily widened over the course of the conversation. “You’d do that?” she said, at last.

I nodded. “I know people.” _And by people I mean person. And by person I mean Shadow Broker. Or, I could, you know, just call Jack._

The doctor- Len- squeezed Prangley’s hand, and she beamed up at him before stepping up into his personal space and kissing him.

Well.

Apparently that’s what the captain thought too, because he stopped and started to splutter when he emerged through the crowds and saw that little liaison.

“Wait, you-” he looked widely from one of them to the other, blinking with his mouth held open like a fish’s out of water. “No way.”

“Don’t act so surprised, kid, I’m allowed to have these things too, y’know,” groused the doctor. Charlie, who had arrived on the scene as well, just watched from beside the captain with an amused look. _Been there, done that. Literally, done that._

Once the captain reconciled that (it didn’t take him long; he was probably not a day older than Rhaella), he then turned to me, held out his hand. I shook it. “I don’t think I got your name…?”

“I don’t remember,” I said, honestly, letting his hand go. “I know I got yours.” I couldn’t resist a small smirk, a _no really, what is it?_ “Captain Kirk.”

He nodded, smiling at me. Showing absolutely no signs of breaking the façade. All right, fine. “This is my diplomatic advisor, Lieutenant Glenn,” Charlie said.

Captain Kirk nodded. “Then I have you to thank for saving the lives of me and my crew.”

“I was doing my job, sir,” I said, tugging off my helmet.

Upon seeing my face, the captain’s demeanor changed entirely. He donned a sideways smile that I’m sure would make girls like Rhaella’s hearts flutter, said, “Still, I’d like to…personally extend my sincere gratitude.”

I fixed him with my most unimpressed look, said, “Sir, with all due respect, you look about old enough to be kissing my kid sister by the swingset.”

The doctor barked off a laugh. Kirk took it in stride, shrugging with a good-natured smile (not that I was concerned about offending him.) He looked to Charlie, who looked to be on the verge of professional apology (I could see the glint in her eye that meant she, for once, agreed with me), and waved her off. “No need, Commander. I have almost too much experience with officers prone to insubordination.”

The doctor rolled his eyes again, muttering lowly under his breath. Prangley smiled, and hugged his arm; and when he looked down his face softened into a loving look that had my heart aching suddenly, recalling the way the cynical, world-weary mask Joker wore would recede when he saw me. I saw that look more and more these days- mingled with longing. _When we have time,_ I told myself again. _We’ll work this out. And then I can hold him again._

At any rate; the _Normandy_ was quite unequipped to handle the sudden influx of crew; so we were weighing anchor and setting course for the Citadel long before the reports had been filed. Until then; I sat in with the _Enterprise_ ’s crew; listened to their history of adventures and mishaps on their mission of exploration. The crew seemed to follow a select few: their captain especially (whom all of the young girls had crushes on), the cantankerous doctor and his frankly ninja dangerous security officer girlfriend (she was the sweetest thing, but it was all too clear she knew six ways to kill a man with a shoelace), the Scottish engineer whom they simply called “Scotty” (“I _told_ you,” I said to Kenneth.) There was the almost too-docile helmsman, who rose plants (something told me there was a beast under the man), the salarian science officer with the attitude problem (I never learned the pointy-horned bastard’s name; but I liked him), and the comms specialist who had her hands full just keeping them all in check. “Bless you, lassie, but a word of advice: much more productive to sit back with a bottle of scotch,” was all the advice I gave her, regarding that matter.

In addition, there was a young guy working navigations- quite Russian and quite adorable, with a head of curls and claiming that everything had been “inwented” in his homeland. Kid was a genius, though (that much was obvious, and I could barely understand what he was saying.)

“See?” I said to Rhaella, as he walked away from speaking to us once. “Why can’t you have a baby daddy like _that_?” Rhaella just rolled her eyes, which meant she was getting used to me.

I was almost sad to see them go on the Citadel- I’d taken a liking to them all, even if I’d barely heard any of their names and the captain had insisted that he was Captain Kirk the whole time- it was an experience I will remember dearly, to the end of my days.

When they were gone, the ship was a lot quieter- but more peaceful. It made me suddenly tired; and I finally gave up and declared I was turning in. As I picked up from the copilot’s chair and began to walk out, Jeff caught my hand on the way out and gently, briefly, kissed the back of it, before letting me go.

I was smiling on my way back to my room. Just as I came inside, my terminal blipped in quick succession. I sat down at the desk and opened up the messages- the first was detailed from Charlie, to the rest of the squad-

_Bravo Team’s just reported in. The situation is resolved. We’ll move to Tuchanka immediately._

The second was from Mordin- he’d sent it to Charlie, but he’d copied me as well. Just three words-

_Have finished cure._

The third and final message from Charlie.

_We are underway for our priority mission._

And somehow, after that I couldn’t sleep.

Curing the genophage- healing the krogan- that was something I had always believed. That wasn’t what was unsettling me then. It had to be the scope, the scale, the stakes. Eventually, I drifted into uneasy dreams, of dark, shifting shadows and knives in the back.

When I woke in the morning, exhausted, I’d barely downed my first cup of coffee before Charlie summoned me to the war room.

“Charles?” I yawned, slogging into the QEC as told. “I told you, it’s too early for coherent-” as soon as I spotted Hackett, I straightened out immediately and saluted. “Sir.”

Hackett just nodded. “Glenn. We were just talking about you.”

I eyeballed off to my side. “Uh-oh?”

Charlie waved a hand. “No need to worry about it, lieutenant.”

“Should she say, lieutenant commander,” Hackett put in.

I stopped, and gaped. “What?”

Hackett brought up the datapad he was holding, and pressed a few buttons. “Reports are coming in, Glenn. Your rescue of the crew of the _Enterprise_ \- your crew’s high praise of your leadership.” He put the datapad down. “I don’t like to waste resources. I’m promoting you, and after your priority mission concludes; you’ll have your own search and rescue vessel.”

I just blinked. Dumbfounded, I opened my mouth, closed it, struggled for a long time to collect my thoughts before speaking. “Sir, I…I had thought my assigned mission was to assist in diplomatic relations aboard the _Normandy_.”

“Which you have done, admirably,” he said, with an agreeing nod. “However, the _Normandy_ ’s assignments are going to change their tune once the turian-krogan alliance is sealed. You, will be taking up the helm on SSV _Tesla_ and leading a wolf-pack flotilla to do the same as you did with _Enterprise._ ” Now both he and Charlie were watching me for my reaction.

The walls were closing in; but they were trapping a beast. “With respect, sir,” I ground out, “my place is on the _Normandy_.”

“With respect, lieutenant commander, your place is anywhere I say it is,” said Hackett, the final authority evident in his voice. He picked up the datapad and punched a few more buttons. “And I say it’s on the _Tesla;_ commanding it and the _Red Cliffs, Thermopylae, Verdun,_ and _Gettysburg_.” He looked up to me. “Those are your orders, Glenn. Following the priority mission on Tuchanka, you’ll be reporting to the Alliance docking bay on the Citadel to receive command.”

The QEC flickered and died before I had the chance to argue.

There was a long silence, as I stood there, stunned. Charlie shifted on her feet, finally said: “He was very determined.”

“Hell, Charles, did you even argue with him? Am I that disposable?” I rounded on her.

“Settle down, commander,” Charlie said, sharply, the crease appearing in her brow. “You’re being transferred to where you’ll do the most good. You’re getting your own _flotilla._ ”

“If you wanted me where I’d do most good, you’d have fought to keep me _here_ ,” I hissed, turning and storming for the door.

I paused in the doorway.

“I didn’t join the Alliance for medals,” I said, “Or command posts.” I turned to look back at her, once more. “I joined it for this ship. And nothing else.”

I walked from the QEC, strangely numb and hollow as I had been when John Shepard had found me at a bar counter in Afterlife.


	13. High Stakes and Treachery Abound (And They Call it a DMZ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUT I DON'T WANNA TUCHANKAAAAAAAAAA ::wails::
> 
> Oh god, it's here. This...fated episode in Mass Effect 3 is one of the most pivotal moments in the series, moments leading up to it spanning across all three games, and so many outcomes to boot...I just hope I can do it justice.
> 
> Also, remember to leave comments and reviews! They help me know how I'm doing and they're definitely encouraging. :)

As the _Normandy_ raced back towards the Krogan DMZ- and it wasn’t a long ride; only a few systems over- I worked on two things. First, in pulling myself together, and second in working furiously on paperwork to try and get Rhaella’s custody turned over to Charlie. They could tear me from this ship; but they weren’t getting her too. She needed to be here with James, and the people she’d come to know for her friends. She couldn’t leave them now, not like this.

I finally succeeded in getting to a sufficient point when all was left to yell at the clerks until they conceded to shut me up. Then, I sighed, went to sit on the edge of my bed, lean over and bury my face in my hands.

 _Might even get a cabin like Charles,_ I mused, though bitterly. I just wanted this old room on the CIC- this crew, and this ship. Not some flotilla out scavenging for the few lucky survivors strewn across the stars.

It wasn’t long before EDI spoke- hesitantly, as if afraid of disturbing my silence. “ _…Glenn?_ ”

I sat up, wearily scrubbing at my face. “Yeah, EDI?”

“ _The Bravo team has returned from the mission._ ”

I looked to the ceiling. “How was it?”

She paused. “ _The mission itself was a success,_ ” she said. “ _However- the parameters were difficult. Cerberus had uncovered a doomsday bomb planted on Tuchanka by the turians; after the Krogan Rebellions. They were attempting to set it off and cause a war._ ”

“The hell?” I frowned. “And what happened?”

“ _The bomb was deactivated,_ ” she said. “ _However, the platoon leader gave his life in doing so. His name was Tarquin Victus; the son of the primarch._ ”

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered, rubbing at my temples.

“ _Urdnot Wrex and Primarch Victus are at odds in the war room,_ ” said EDI. “ _Shepard has requested your help in diffusing the situation._ ”

I stood up, with a world-weary mutter, “Yeah, no need for a diplomatic advisor, sure.” I stormed off to the war room, already in a bad mood (probably helpful, given the situation.) I stood with my jaw set tight and my fists balling at the scanner, and progressed down the hall, already hearing the shouting from down the hall. As I got into the door, I employed my dominance in a way that would satisfy both turian and krogan custom: “All right, everybody SHUT UP.”

Wrex and Victus broke off in their argument to gape at me. Charlie, her arms crossed, looked stoically up to me, waiting for my intervention.

“ _You_ ,” I started on Victus, “Have got to admit that was a pretty shitty move the turians pulled; first you released a biological population bomb on them, and then you plant an _actual_ one ‘ _in case they get any ideas._ ’ It was a shitty move. Not one you made, but a shitty move nonetheless; and the least you could’ve done was to _inform_ Wrex of the issue, and god forbid, _apologize_ ; instead of going around behind his back and trying to deactivate it before he noticed.”

Victus’ mandibles flapped in distress, and I turned to the somewhat smug-looking Wrex, ready to take him down a notch. “And _you_? Get the hell off your holier-than-thou throne and pull your head out of your asshole. You _know_ you would have done the _same damn thing_ to the turians, had you been in their place.” I looked to both of them. “Whatever the circumstances; it’s done now. The bomb’s gone.” I fixed Wrex with a particularly sharp look. “The primarch’s son _died_ today. You both need each other, so both of you, calm down. Put this behind you, and move on. Or, at least stop fighting about it like squabbling pyjaks on my ship. Got it?”

The primarch and Wrex shared a look, then nodded and muttered their consent.

Marginally, I sighed, then looked to Charlie. “Will that be all, _Commander_?”

Charlie looked up to the door then; and said, “We have a strategy meeting to discuss.”

I turned to see Mordin arriving, datapad in hand. “Good to see conflict resolution skills are still sharp, Glenn,” he said, descending the steps, patting my elbow. His eyes flickered to the side, he frowned, marginally. “Perhaps, conflict interment.” A sharp inhale. “Doesn’t matter. Quite effective.”

I blinked. “You’ve got everything ready to go?”

“Cure is ready for distribution.” An inhale. “Only problem- _is_ distribution. Considered spread through water; but too slow. Krogan population too widespread for injection; inefficient. Time-consuming. Costly. No, no, no, no, no, no.” He tapped his chin, pacing, occasionally muttering to himself.

“What about spread through the air?” I questioned. “It’d be a simple matter of adjusting it to carry on atmospheric particles.”

Mordin frowned. “Maybe, but…question as of how to maintain in air and not go to- ah! Unless…” he tapped on the war terminal, and brought up a diagram. “The Shroud!” he looked sideways to me, continuing to type. “STG built Shroud to regulate Tuchankan atmosphere after krogan nuclear winter. Also…used to spread genophage.” After his typical 0.2 seconds of regretful silence, he began to type again, and babble rapidly. “However, with original strain in storage, could be used to disperse cure.” He stood back, smiling.

Wrex observed the diagrams, and then pulled a rare smile as well. “You clever pyjak! That’s our best way to go.”

I folded my arms, feeling uneasy. “Probably our _only_ way to go.”

Charlie nodded. “Then we’ll deploy in a few hours. Gentlemen, get your affairs in order. We’ve got a genophage to cure.”

I stepped back from the table, and went with Mordin to the med lab. “Will require your assistance in all ground work,” he said. “Additionally, will provide needed cover for Eve, should situation go bad.”

“And hopefully, it won’t,” I muttered, but the loose clenching in my gut told me somehow that it would.

In the next few hours, we suited up; welcoming the Bravos back to our ranks, and at last loading into the shuttle with Eve, Wrex, Mordin, and our fearless leader, descending planetside. “Wrex, are you sure you’re ready for this after your…procedure?” Garrus asked, as he loaded thermal clips into his rifle.

“One more word and someone gets tossed out of the shuttle,” the krogan grumbled. “Now. I’ve ordered the clans to assemble at the Hollows. It’s our sacred meeting ground.  We’ll land there and take an armored convoy against the Reaper.” He paused, said lowly, “ _This_ … will be the defining moment of krogan history.”

“Krogan history filled with defining moments,” remarked Mordin, “Mostly bloody. Hopefully, this one better.”

Eve, who had been silent the entire time, observing the three Shepards- holed away in the corner, brooding, occasionally exchanging looks- at last spoke. “You seemed troubled, Commander.”

Charlie and the others exchanged more looks. John was scowling, Paxton looked uncertain, and Charlie’s brow furrowed heavily when she began, hesitantly- “I got a message from the-”

The shuttle rocked, cutting off her words. A krogan voice came in over the shuttle’s comms: “ _Wrex, it’s Wreav! The Reapers are already at the Hollows! Come out with guns blazing!_ ”

Cortez fought back his control, and called to us, “Hang on! We’re going in.”

I stood up, cocked my shotgun, and stood ready. The door opened, and a husk screamed in our faces. Wrex blew it to pieces, and hopped off onto the ground. “Shepard, keep them away from the female! I’ll sort out what’s happening with the other clans.” He took off running into the arena.

We came down after him, holding our guns aloft, and waiting our orders. Charlie hefted her rifle, armor crackling with a biotic barrier- “Everyone pick your targets and keep an eye on our six. Now move!”

The krogan were making piecemeal already of the husks pouring in from all sides- with our addition to firepower, they went down quickly. When we approached Wrex, pulling off our helmets, his armor was covered in blood and he looked more at home than I’d ever seen him. “They’ll sing battle songs about this someday! Reaper blood has finally soaked our soil.” Around the arena, the approving roars of the krogan echoed off the high walls.

Charlie was less wrapped up in the glory of our passing fight (or, possibly, just not enough krogan), “We have to get to the Shroud,” she said, “The airstrike is on its way.”

Mordin was next down the steps. “Female is safe, Shepard. Vitals are strong.”

The next voice was the krogan- Wreav- that we had heard on the shuttle. “What’s a salarian doing here?” when first I saw him, he proved big, mean, and flanked by several Blood Pack. My least favorite kind of people. “No one said anything about this.”

Wrex observed the krogan with a disparaging eye.

“Multiple krogan,” said Mordin. “Problematic.”

I narrowed my eyes and stepped forward. “Who are you?”

“Urdnot Wreav,” said Wreav. “Brood brother to our…illustrious leader.” At his mocking remarks, the krogan flanking Wrex began to growl.

“Wreav and I share the same mother,” said Wrex. “And nothing else.”

“For which I’m thankful!” Wreav spat. “ _I_ remember what it means to be a _true_ krogan.” The Pack behind him rumbled their approval. “We flay our enemies alive and drown them in a geyser of their own blood. We don’t invite them into our home.”

“The salarian,” I said, touchily, “Is not your enemy. He’s here to help cure the genophage.”

Wreav scowled, and started our way, spat, “His kind _gave_ us the genophage, why should we trust him?”

Wrex was starting to step in to block his approach; but I had moved faster already, bringing my own head down to clock him straight in the crest- it was hard enough to send him staggering back, enough to make his followers start to snarl, enough to make my head pound like it was about to be split open. “Touch him and you’ll see how quick _I_ can flay someone,” I threatened, a heavily-warping corona surrounding me like a curtain of fire.

Wreav pulled his shotgun, and as his followers and Wrex’s group did the same, a voice called from the top of the stairs: “Enough!”

We looked up to see Eve. She began to come down the stairs, all of the krogan following her intently. “You can stay here and let old wounds fester, as krogan have always done…” she moved through the crowd, into the center of the arena. “Or you can fight the enemy you were born to destroy, and win a new future for our children.” She turned to us all. “ _I_ choose to _fight_.” She moved to the center podium, stood and faced us all in the circle. “Who will join me?”

I let my corona dissipate, and I moved to the front of the crowd- remembering her vision, the shreds of hope I had seen within her. She _was_ their future. And I was going to fight like hell for it. “I will,” I said.

“And so will I!” Wrex followed me, a beat after. He moved towards the stairs, pointed out to where the convoy waited. “Now hold your heads high, like true krogan- there’s a Reaper that needs killing!”

The krogan gave roars of approval- Mordin looked from side to side at the crowds; all of them clambering to tear some metal. Wreav, finally, gave a consenting nod. We loaded into the tomkahs, and then we were driving out. “ _Krogan ground convoy, this is turian wing Artimec. Our flight vector to the Shroud is locked_ ,” the fighter pilots came in as we drove out to the tower. “ _We’re ten minutes out and counting._ ”

“Copy that, Artimec,” said Charlie. “We’re on our way, trying to make up for lost time. Shepard out.”

“Always reckless,” Mordin muttered, as he examined my head, tsking. I swatted his hands away. “Mordin, really, I’m fine,” I said.

“Bleeding from head,” he said, producing medigel from nowhere and smearing it on my brow.

“You know those things always look worse than they are,” I said, wincing as the wound began to cool with the gel.

He shook his head at me. “Head-butting krogan-”

“I did it before!” I protested. “You were there, remember? That Gatatog asshole said Grunt wasn’t a _real_ krogan, so I gave him a good one, right in the noggin?”

“Gatatog Uvenk not moving towards you,” he said, “Not hit as hard. Don’t need you injuring yourself on my behalf.”

“Then Urdnot Wreav should watch his mouth about you when he’s in my presence,” I said, stubbornly. Mordin didn’t argue that, just gave a small sigh, but I thought I could see him smile.

As she dropped the line, Eve spoke. “Wreav isn’t the only krogan who wants revenge for the genophage, Wrex. You’ll have to placate them somehow.”

“I’ll demand the Council return some of our old territory,” said Wrex. “We’ll need room to expand- recapture the glory of the ancients.”

Mordin sat forward on his chair. “‘Glory of ancients’ led to Krogan Rebellions. Countless deaths. Creation of genophage. Expansion plan…problematic.”

Charlie frowned. “What were the ancient krogan like?”

Eve looked up, eyed her. “Tuchanka wasn’t always a wasteland. In the old times the krogan were a proud people. We had dreams…a future to look forward to.”

“Until salarian interference,” said Mordin.

“No,” said Eve. “We destroyed Tuchanka ourselves. Technology changed us. It made life too easy. So we looked for new challenges- and found them in each other. Nuclear war was inevitable.”

“And now our planet is rubble,” Wrex added, “We need a new place to live.”

“I’d say helping defeat the Reapers would be worth a new planet,” said Charlie.

“Or ten,” said Wrex. “You haven’t seen how fast we can pop them out.”

Eve fixed Wrex with a warning look. “Wrex…”

“What?” he sat back in his seat. “With the genophage cured, we’ll have a lot of catching up to do!” At that, I could see our three Shepards reassuming their broody stances from earlier.

“Earlier,” Eve changed the subject. “In the shuttle. You’d started to say something.”

Charlie refused to meet Eve’s eyes; and she didn’t speak- John was the one to speak: “It’s nothing. Just nerves. There’s a lot at stake here.”

Eve hesitated a moment, then nodded, and settled to her seat. A few moments passed, and then the convoy rolled to a sudden stop.

“What’s going on?” Wrex spoke, “Why are we stopping?”

Charlie stood, and gestured the others after her. “Come on, team, let’s go check it out.” I moved to Mordin’s side and began to look over figures that he had just pulled up, engrossed until I heard my name from James.

“You coming with, _huesos_?” he asked me.

I shook my head at him. “She called for the team, Vega. Get out there.”

He looked slightly confused, but he nodded just the same and hopped out of the tomkah after the others. Mordin raised his eyes, looked at me. “Word from Shepard that you’ve been promoted. Granted command.”

I sighed. “Yeah. Right word. Guess everyone’s glad to be rid of me, huh?”

Mordin gave me a look. “Heard also that paperwork for Bronze Star went through.” He ducked back into his feeds. “Gaining some notoriety.”

“Yes, and your point?” I sighed, tiredly.

“Point, Glenn, that perhaps apprehension is result of obstinate refusal to change.” He moved a few data points around on his omni-tool’s interface. “Don’t want to move; not because of fondness for current position, but simply for principle of contradiction.” He looked at me. “Put simply; being told what to do.”

I scowled. “Yeah, well, this time it _is_ because I like where I am. I have a place on the ship, the work I do there is important. What pisses me off is how easily Charlie seems to be letting me go. So I haven’t been there since the beginning; neither has James Pendejo Vega.” I sighed, tempestuously, and sat back on one of the seats. “I just…it feels wrong. I don’t like it and it feels wrong.”

“One would argue; what you signed up for,” said Mordin.

“You know, one might argue you could back me up on this,” I snapped, finally losing my temper.

“Or,” said Mordin sharply, looking to me, “Could argue that mindlessly agreeing task for teenage friends.” He pointed a finger (it waggled slightly as he ranted at me). “ _Not_ role of teacher. Teacher’s role to push, encourage, _dare_ you to do better. Earning honors for going above and beyond line of duty; transferring to positions sometimes not held by people in entire careers! Some already regarding you as Commander Shepard’s right hand! _No_ time to wallow in self-pity.” He looked almost spitting mad. “ _No_ time. Genophage to cure, war to fight, _existence_ at stake. Leave drama at door. No place for it here.”

For a moment, I stared, blankly. Mordin, too, held my eyes, and then he ducked his head a moment before returning his gaze to mine. Softer, he said, “Like to see you moving up. Reminds me of my younger self…hesitant to leave home then, as well. Still, father told me, ‘ _Mordin Solus; you have anything but problems_!’” He chuckled slightly. He looked to his datafeed, to me. “Told anyone yet?”

I sighed, scrubbing at my forehead. “No.”

“You should,” he told me. “Will have to, eventually.”

I sighed. “Mordin, I…I don’t want to go. I don’t know what to _do_.”

“No one ever knows what to do,” he said, smiling at me. “Some people better at pretending than others.”

I stood there for a while, processing that, before I stood up, paced to the other side of the tomkah.

There was the sound of the datafeed closing. A set of feet moved up behind me, and then there was a three-fingered hand on my shoulder. “Glenn,” said Mordin.

I didn’t answer.

“Can’t offer much. So few things ever certain; nearly nothing, times like now. Words? Words are wind.” Gently, he squeezed my shoulder. “But can offer this.”

He was there, at my back, for a long moment.

Suddenly, there was Charlie’s voice over our earpieces. “ _Turian wing Artimec, this is Shepard. We’ve been delayed; hold off your attack._ ” We froze, hands flying to earpieces.

“ _Negative, Commander, our approach is locked_.” the air unit radioed in, “ _The Reaper already knows we’re here!_ ” The sound of fighters zooming over the road ripped overhead.

“ _An airstrike is not enough against the Reaper,_ ” Javik spoke, as always, jonesing for a Reaper smackdown, “ _We must join the fight_!” The sounds of the Reaper laser rang outside the truck- then, suddenly, over the comm, “ _I’ve lost control! I can’t pull up!_ ”

_Crash._

The loud sound, of something colliding with the road. “Shepard, what’s happening?” demanded Wrex.

“ _Get the female out of there, Wrex, now! Go_!” Charlie barked.

The tomkahs started, and we staggered with the momentum. We were soaring, and we landed with a rough jolt, juddering along down the way.

Mordin, slowly, regained his footing. I held his eyes. He blinked. “Don’t get what we deserve,” he finished. “Only what we negotiate.”

As we sped along, Charlie came in over the comm channel. “ _I can’t tell where we are. Some kind of ruin._ ”

Eve spoke. “That’s the City of the Ancients; Commander. It’s been unmapped for centuries.” A few more moments passed. Charlie came in again: “ _We’re getting tremors down here. Not reading any seismic activity._ ”

“It’s also rumored that Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws, lives in this region.”

“ _When the krogan name a thresher maw, you know you’re in trouble…_ ” muttered Garrus, over the channel.

And after a few moments, we felt the tremor too. “I don’t like this,” I said.

“ _We’ve got daylight,_ ” said Charlie.

“Good. Come out around and we’ll pick you up,” said Wrex.

The next sound we heard over the comm was a gasp. “ _Look!_ ” Paxton spoke. “ _Green._ ”

“ _Goddess,_ ” said Liara, lowly. “ _I didn’t think anything still grew here._ ”

“ _All my life, I never thought I’d see green on Tuchanka,_ ” said Garrus, sounding awed.

“It’s all that’s left of the old days,” Eve said. “But that is where hope lives.”

A huge rumble jolted the tomkah. I grabbed onto a bar, nearly thrown from my seat, eyes wide and heart pounding. “Oh _shit._ ”

“It’s Kalros!” Eve warned, and then the tomkah went flying. It might have flipped; hard to tell by the external inertial dampeners. Glad- I was not about to pop a few g’s- but still terrified, as we sped away. The maw gave chase.

I staggered to the back, peered out the periscope.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_ , ahhhh _SHIT_!” I gritted, and looked back to Wrex. “What kind of guns does this thing have?”

“Nothing that will stand up to Kalros’ hide,” said Eve, holding on tightly.

“Thresher maw getting closer!” Mordin blurted.

“Tell me something we _don’t_ know already!” spat Wrex.

“Metal in truck an excellent iron supplement for maw’s diet!”

I held on for dear life, might have screamed “ _AVE MARIA_!” at one point (it might have been James over the comm channel), though I was fairly sure that the wavery “ _what the shit_ ” was mine- at last, though, the maw seemed to pull off, as if it had decided we were too much trouble- or something else had caught its attention.

We swerved to a halt beside some ruins. “Shepard, get over here!” bellowed Wrex. “Wreav, you keep an eye out for that maw. I don’t want it sneaking up on us.”

“ _Make it quick, Wrex.”_

I looked out the periscope again and watched the squad come running, Charlie stopping by the door and practically shoving them in as they came. “Move!”

The ground began to rumble again. “Pick it up!” I said.

“ _It’s Kalros_!” said Wreav. The huge plume of dirt moved by our truck, groaning, and sank onto Wreav’s with a _crunch_.

“ _Move_ , Shepard!” Wrex bellowed. Charlie swung inside, slamming the door shut and grabbing onto a floor fixture. “We’re in, go!” the truck raced away. Eve looked up, asked, “What about Wreav?”

I stepped back from the periscope. “No way he survived that.”

“And he was a pain in the ass, anyway,” Wrex put in, to which I tapped my nose to. “Now let’s finish this.” The tomkah ripped along in the off-road, honing in on the not-too-faraway Shroud. “There’s a Reaper waiting for us.”

As we pulled up before the Shroud and looked out at the Reaper, tramping about the arena and making typical metallic Reaper screams, Garrus looked flatly at it and said, “I don’t think we’ve got a big enough gun to handle that.”

“Vengeance is the goal,” said Javik. Another shriek, from the Reaper. “Suicide,” he punctuated, “Is not.”

Wrex hopped also, out of the truck. “We’re curing the genophage no matter what it takes,” he said. “Everything my people will ever be depends on it.”

“And we’ll get it done,” I said, eyes narrowing. “We just have to figure out how. You’ve faced down these things before.” I turned to Charlie, as she stepped out to the head of the group.

“Last time we had the Ascension and the Fifth Fleet,” said Charlie, frowning. “And we barely scratched Sovereign until it made the mistake of networking with Saren.”

“Well, this one’s a lot smaller than Sovereign,” Paxton spoke, moving forward. She narrowed her eyes, observing. John stepped also into the row, crossing his arms and looking out at the destroyer stomping around up ahead.

Suddenly, Paxton’s eyes seemed to widen. She turned, and made eye contact with Eve- the old krogan matriarch then nodded, slowly, and Paxton looked back to the arena, now determined and filled with glorious purpose, cocking her rifle and marching forward. “We need to take a little initiative.”

Garrus, loyal Garrus, took one hesitant step after, and paused. “You have something up your sleeve, Shepard?” Paxton paused briefly, looked back at him, and he chuckled suddenly: “What am I saying…when don’t you?”

The rest of the team began to follow after the youngest Shepard, and John turned back to us and said, “Let’s make sure we all get out of here alive- we’re gonna have a hell of a story to tell.”

“Shepard!” Wrex called after the group- all three stopped to look at him, then shuffled back to meet him halfway as he moved towards them. “I want you to know that no matter what happens…” he stepped forward, addressed all of them: “You’ve been a champion to the krogan people, a friend of Clan Urdnot…” he stopped, and clasped each of their hands in turn, ending with Charlie. “And like brothers and sisters to me. To every krogan born after this day, the name ‘Shepard’ will mean ‘hero’!”

Charlie grasped his hand, held it up aloft between them, and nodded. _The fulfilling of a sacred trust,_ I thought. _A promise made on the beaches with guns drawn and tensions high- a promise to friends nonetheless. You do the hardest things for your friends._

“Now let’s show them why!” Wrex finished.

Behind us, the shrieks of ravagers echoed off of the crumbling walls of the arena; and we turned to see the bulbous rachni shapes crawl up the fallen chunks of rock. “Oh, those things,” I muttered, cocking my shotgun.

Wrex, though, pushed the battle-readying squadmates towards the arena. “Go. I’ve got this.” He hefted his shotgun, took off running for his enemies, gathering speed, holding his weapon at the ready: “I AM URDNOT WREX, AND THIS IS _MY PLANET_!”

And now Charlie looked to those that remained- me, Mordin, and Eve- and searched for something to say, finally settling on an uncertain, “See you on the other side.”

“Stay alive, Shepard,” said Mordin, “Will have cure ready.” Eve and I followed him down to the lab nearby, and as we moved inside I heard over the radio: “ _Commander, this is turian wing Artimec. We’ll try to give that Reaper something else to shoot at._ ”

“ _I knew they wouldn’t give up,_ ” Garrus intoned; and that was the last I heard from any of the team. I tried not to let my heart sit in my throat as I settled suddenly into my medical professional mode: suck it up, princess, have your breakdown later. “Mordin, what do we need?”

“Need to follow devised formula,” he shot back, rapid-fire, as fast as he could without losing me. The walls were rumbling, and dust was shaking from the ceiling with every step the Reaper made. Metallic screams came in through the open door. “Will be dangerous period when we take tissue sample from Eve- stress levels rise dangerously. Maelon’s data accounted for phenomenon, adjust like in the notes.”

“Right.” I switched on the monitors. “I’m ready when you are.”

“ _Shepard, get a move on with those hammers_!” Wrex roared, and I had neither the time nor the mindset to wonder what in blue blazes he meant.

“ _There’s a Reaper in my way, Wrex_!” spat Charlie.

“ _I know! You get all the fun!_ ”

“Entering danger zone!” Mordin fretted. The monitor was beeping frantically. “Breathe,” I told Eve. “Breathe like you’re breathing for a baby. You’re breathing for all of your babies now,” I said, frantically working on the almost-ancient holo-UI. “Come on, breathe. You’re doing good, breathe. Just like that, breathe. In, out, in out.” Slowly, the stats began falling again. I waited a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief. “Board is green.”

Wrex burst into the lab, covered in blood. Before he could even ask, I gave Eve my hand down from the table and let Wrex take her on her unsteady legs. “Get her out of here, Wrex, it’s almost over.”

“Glenn!” Mordin yapped, opening a hatch labeled _Strain Dispersal,_ yanking out the dusty tube there, and replacing it with ours. “Hurry, need to get to tower and disperse cure.”

“Right behind you!” I called, and sprinted out after him.

As we exited, huge bells- hammers, I realized- were ringing like giant gongs. My teeth were rattling with when they made contact- then; a more present rumbling began beneath my feet.

Kalros had arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, cliffhanger. Leave me notes!


	14. Reapers, the Mother of All Maws, and a Sacrifice for the Ages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, and now we near the end of Tuchanka. _Cries softly_. Anyway; this chapter will _probably_ kill you. If not, well, you'll probably hate me. Sound off in the comments...

“ _That’s_ it?” I cried aloud. “ _This_ is the plan?” Kalros rippled through the dirt on the other side of the ruins, and then, one very angry thresher maw shot out from the dirt, and slammed into the side of the Reaper. I yelled something like “ _JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH._ ”

The Reaper and the maw grappled, and then the destroyer swiveled, threw the maw off towards us. “Look out!” Mordin called, years of special ops training taking over as he shoved us to the ground. A plume of dust and debris washed over us, and we watched from the ground as the maw retreated back into the earth. The surface rumbled again, as we stood, and we watched as Kalros made her sudden reappearance, this time coming in like death from above and shoving the Reaper down with the enormous creak of a bending broadside hull. Kalros wrapped herself around the downed Reaper, crushing it into a pile of nuts and bolts, and pulling it back under the earth.

“Lord Almighty,” I swore lowly, still staring at the spot where they had vanished, but Mordin tugged on my arm. “Glenn, come on, tower is ahead.”

Together we raced for the Shroud; still emitting faint rumbles and little explosions (Kalros had been thrown against the tower when the Reaper had swung her around), and went in the side door, tearing to the consoles just as Paxton, Charlie, and John came racing in the front.

“The _maw_?” I half-laughed. “Damn it, the _maw_?”

Paxton shrugged, grinning madly behind her mask of dirt, still grasping her rifle. “I saw what a small one could do on Akuze. This one’s the mama-maw, I got a few ideas.”

“You mad _genius_ ,” I cackled, moving up to her, and slapping her directly in the face. “So help me,” I hissed, scowling in a wild-eyed way, “I almost pissed my pants. A warning next time, Judge Dredd.” I went back to the console. “How’s it looking, Mordin?”

“Cure is loaded and ready for dispersal. Procedure traumatic, but not fatal for Eve,” he said, then pulling up his omni-tool. “Her survival fortunate- will stabilize new government should Wrex get any ideas. Good match. Promising future for krogan.”

“She’s all right?” Charlie asked, and then brought her arm up to shield from a sudden piece of falling debris. “Damn!”

“Wait- detecting a temperature malfunction in the top chamber- need to adjust settings manually.” Mordin tapped a few buttons, shook his head, frowning. He raised his eyes, frowned suddenly at the again shifty-eyed, shuffly-footed Shepards.

Charlie, finally, raised her head. “It’s not a malfunction…” she sighed, wearily scrubbing at her face, looking away from Mordin’s scrutinizing gaze. “It’s sabotage. Your people did it years ago.”

Mordin blinked. “Of course.” He turned, squinting, to the tower. “Shroud necessary for distribution; would have had back-up plan- contingency to stop cure.” He stopped, didn’t turn back around. “And you knew,” he said, finally, voice speaking betrayal.

I, for one, proved his foil in fire. “You…you _bastards._ After everything the krogan have been through- after how the galaxy has treated them; like _animals_ -! After what _you_ promised to Urdnot Wrex, your _friend_ , after he called you his brothers and sisters, I can’t…I don’t believe-!” I was left heaving, spitting with rage.

“The dalatrass offered us a deal…” said Paxton, looking guiltily at her feet. “Her full support for the Crucible project.”

“Difficult moral circumstances,” said Mordin. “Salarian assistance reluctant. Minimal. Need their loyalty for intel, for Crucible. Understandable,” he turned back. “Not acceptable. Will not sacrifice krogan for political gain.” He turned back, and started towards the elevator.

“Every time we talked about this before you always _defended_ the genophage!” Charlie stalked after him. “Hell, we had to talk you into keeping Maelon’s data! How can you change your mind now?”

“I MADE A MISTAKE!” Mordin whipped around; concave chest heaving with the sudden declaration. The tower rumbled. I gaped, from one of them to the other, stunned. “I made a mistake,” he repeated. “Focused on big picture- big picture made of little pictures- too many variables! Can’t hide behind statistics, can’t hide behind new data, _my_ work, _my_ cure, _my responsibility!_ ”

Charlie opened her mouth, but John was at her elbow, taking it, tugging it just slightly back. “Charlie, don’t,” he said, bitter with dread and regret. “Let him go.”

The tower exploded again. Sparks rained down on us, and we raised our arms to shield from the assault.

“Let him go, what about the salarians?” she objected, but halfheartedly. “It was _your_ idea to keep this quiet, you and Pax-” another large explosion cut off her words, as we all staggered with the concussive force.

“We were wrong,” said Paxton, raw emotion. “Seeing the city- all of this, now…Mordin’s right. We have to do this.”

“Our own crew doesn’t recognize us,” John added, softly. Charlie looked over to me, brows knitting together. I held her gaze for one fury-filled second- then I looked away.

Charlie looked back to Mordin. She sighed, gustily. “Go,” she said. “I’m not gonna stop you.”

Suddenly, that was when it hit, for me.

“ _No_!” I screamed, as the glass door closed him away from us. I banged on the cold, unyielding surface with a fist, tears burning like the soot in my eyes. “Mordin, you can’t, _open up this door right now_!”

“Would suggest getting clear of building,” he said, softly. “Explosions likely to be…problematic.”

My protests stopped, I leaned on the glass, chest heaving. “We’re in this _together_ ,” I said, now leaning my whole weight into my hands, as if that would get me to the other side. “Mordin.”

He put his hand up against mine, separated only by the glass. “Glenn.” A nearby explosion riffled my hair and sent hot air scorching over me. “You are like the daughter I never had.” He smiled, though sadly, told me, “I know you have _great_ things ahead of you,” even as I shook my head, tears streaming down my face.

“I don’t want great things,” I choked, “I just want my _dad_.”

His three fingers moved across the glass, where my cheek was on my side. “Would have liked to run tests on the seashells.”

My fingers curled into fists around nothing, I banged once on the glass, collapsed against it. “Damn it. _Damn it._ I’m _sorry._ ”

“I’m not,” he said, gently. “Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.” He stepped back, pressed the button, swallowed hard and smiled.

And then he was gone.

Suddenly, John was there, wresting me away from the elevator. “We’ve gotta go!” he said, “Come on, come _on_!”

“ _Mordin_!” I screamed, as they dragged me from the control room, “ _MORDIN_!”

They yanked me clear of the danger zone, and as we made it outside we looked up to the pinnacle of the tower, to the top chamber as the cure began pluming up into the air. The sickly, distorted green that the Reaper had brought was drowned in a sudden rush of pure, golden white- and then, the tip of the tower at last blew in a huge cloud of smoke and fire. I reached, weakly, for the summit, and then let my arm fall limply to my side.

Everywhere, the krogan climbed slowly from their trucks. Shielding their eyes from the sudden light of their star; they watched as the clouds broke and the cure came to them, falling in little white flakes like snow. I watched it fall at my feet, where my eyes were, blurred to tears. I raised them, then, to the sky, shielding the brightness with an arm, and then holding a hand out to catch some of the falling flakes. They became a pale powder on black gloves, easily swept away by the winds. I looked once more to the top of the tower, fingers closing, and I wondered what it was to wash up on a new shore.

On the way back; I climbed out of the tomkah, away from Wrex’s excited chatter, and braced to sit up on the top of the vehicle as it jolted its way back to the Hollows. I sat alone for the ride back, but that was all right. I wasn’t truly alone, not really.

It was the Shepards and I- for my last act as diplomatic advisor- who re-entered the arena with Wrex and Eve. “Not too long ago, my father tried to kill me here,” the clan leader said, looking for a particular spot. “His own son. So I had to kill him…right here.” He pointed. “That’s what the genophage reduced us to, animals- but you changed that today, Shepard.” He was grinning.

_If only you knew._

“A pity Mordin had to die,” said Eve, looking to me. The Shepards, also, turned their heads, and I meandered a bit, sighed, kicked a rock.

“He wouldn’t have had it any other way,” I said, finally, my back to them and my hands folded behind my back. “And I’m sure wherever he is…he’s putting in a good word for the rest of us.”

“We’ll name one of the kids after him,” chuckled Wrex. “Maybe a girl.”

Charlie afforded him a smile, turned to Eve. “What will you do now?”

“Spread the hope you’ve given us,” she replied, as I fell in to stand by the commander. “Even now, clans are gathering in the Kelphic Valley. Thank you, Shepard.”

“Tell the primarch I’ll be deploying troops to Palaven immediately,” said Wrex. “And when you’re ready to take back Earth- let me know. The krogan are back in business!”

Eve held out a hand- made it clear it was for me. I took it, and shook. “Good luck, Glenn. And wherever your travels may take you- know that Urdnot Bakara calls you a friend.”

In spite of everything, I smiled. A sad smile, but it was hope nonetheless. And then we were turning tail, heading back, going back for the _Normandy._

_Probably for the last time._

The shuttle ride back was mostly quiet- murmurs, now and then, but no one really talked to one another. The Shepards exchanged a few Triplet Looks (with a few at me), but that was the cap on communication.

When the shuttle doors opened up, we trudged tiredly aboard, though I’d think there were none so tired as I. I stripped out of my armor and left it for conditioning at the armory, then headed upstairs to shower the grime of Tuchanka away; scrub until my skin was raw, tattoos standing stark against irritated skin. I ran the pad of a finger over the skull and crossbones on my left arm; a testament to _The Pirates of Penzance_ \- knowing him, he’d likely gone out singing that too, _I’ve studied species turian, asari, and batarian-_ and no, no, I didn’t want to think about that right now.

I was padding back to my room, clad in standard-issue gym shorts and Alliance-logo tank top when Rhaella came to me.

“Are you all right?” she asked me, crossing her arms.

“I’m fine,” I said, still twisting my damp hair in a towel, attempting to weave around her.

She put herself in my way. “No you’re not.”

“Then why did you ask me, if you’re just going to impose a different answer?” I said, somewhat sharply, trying to sidestep her and finally just pushing past her. “Leave me alone.”

Judging by the security feeds in my room; she went next to talk to James.

I sat down on my bed with a sigh, laid resignedly down and wrapped my arms around myself. I was laying on something cold, I realized, and I wiggled around to bring up the object.

It was a datapad; but when I opened it I didn’t recognize any of the files- then, suddenly, I realized, reading the titles-

_Collector Venom Neutralizer; GST 7-2185_

_Genophage- Maelon Heplorn Data; GST 9-2185_

_Notes- Kepral’s Synd; GST 10-2185—4-2186_

_Notes- Vrolik’s Dis; GST 6-2185—4-2186_

My eyes blurred- the pad read one new message, and when I opened it I only got through the first few lines- _Professor Solus, while we at the University of Sur’Kesh have never considered before opening our gates to students of other species; your pupil seems apt, based on your data. We were still apprehensive, but with such a glowing letter of recommendation, we will accept her based on how we see fit-_ before I broke down.

Mordin, _god, Mordin._ I put a hand to my mouth and tried to choke down the sobs, bit down on my knuckles until I tasted blood, sat there with the datapad in my lap, crying pathetically, crying like I had the night Tomcat had taken me home, when I realized that Nathan Glenn wasn’t coming back for me.

I composed myself immediately when the door hissed open- turning away, years of practice creating the perfect mask in time to turn around and appraise my visitor. “Do you need something?”

It was Jeff- wonderful, beautiful, kind Jeff- standing there with his hat in his hands, worrying at the brim, brow creased as he looked at me.

He opened his mouth, like he was looking for something to say, and gave up- wordlessly, shuffled up to me, took my bloodied hand and smoothed his thumb over the knuckles. He opened his mouth again, but he half-closed it, lips just barely parted, brow creased when he looked at me. He looked like there were a million things to say, and no way to say them- he gently, delicately placed his hand against the side of my face, pressed his mouth thinly together, wiped away the tear beading at the corner of my eye. I let my head fall, our foreheads touching, my hand looping around his elbow.

We stood like that for a long time- eyes closed, just holding on.

“I don’t want to see you cry,” he said, finally, voice cracking. “God, babe, I-” he bent down to me where I sat, sealed his mouth on mine, left the kiss for a moment as a question, deepened it only when my fingers gripped into his collar. It was hot, it was desperate, and suddenly it was over, and he was holding me close to him, burying his nose into the top of my head, rubbing my back while I cried into his shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered, kissing my hair, “I know, babe.”

“Do you?” I contested, weakly, into the sodden fabric of his shoulder.

He smoothed my hair back, pressed his lips to the side of my head. “If my mom could see me now, we’d have zombies on top of everything else,” he repeated; something he’d said once or twice before.

“Oh god, Jeff,” I said, shakily.

“No,” he cut me off, firmly. “I’ve worked through that part of my life. I’m going to help you get through it now.” He sat down, held my face, traced his thumbs under my eyes, leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. “Whatever you need. _Whatever you need._ ”

I hooked my arm again around his arm, leaned our foreheads together, whispered, _desperately,_ “Jeff, I need-” I tilted my head, lips seeking for his, “-please…”

“Glenn,” he murmured, between kisses, “I can’t…not now…not when you’re…”

I pulled back from him, objected, “What? While I’m what? While I _need_ you?” he made a low, thick sound in his throat, eyes unfocusing at me, almost panting. “’Cause I need you. I’m sick of all this dancing, I’m sick of it. Please, just…come here, Jeff.”

At the sound of his name, he met me halfway, lips parting against mine as his tongue pushed hotly into my mouth, delving inside, tangling with my own as he pushed me gently down to the bed. I exhaled with a shudder, feeling his body bracket mine again. He continued the kiss, just a while longer, then breaking it, moving along to my cheek, dropping a soft peck on the apex of my scar- a silent apology, for the words he still carried with pain and regret. He scraped teeth along my jawline, dutifully avoiding my right earlobe to trail wet kisses down the line of my throat, nibbling at the side of my neck before fighting with the laces on my corset to peel it down enough to knead a breast with one hand, dip his head to worry gently at the nipple with his teeth, laving and sucking, his beard rubbing on sensitive skin.

“Jeff,” I whined, and he reached down, popped the button on my pants and pressed his hand inside, sliding in under my panties and pressing into wet flesh with a muffled groan. I lifted my hips, shuffled leather down far enough to give him room enough to move- he shifted, propped up onto one arm, held my eyes- the _hat,_ why did he have the damn hat on? He pressed forward, kissing me, licking into my mouth, moaning some muffled version of “oh _God_ you’re so wet”, as his fingers gently rubbed the outer lips of my entrance, then sliding one finger in, quickly adding another. His thumb skittered slightly, then played steadily across my clit.

My head jerked back, to suck in a gasping breath and heave a shuddering moan- endorphins like morphine, drowning out what I couldn’t deal with, what I didn’t want to feel; then, the burning, melting pleasure of someone touching places so long ignored. He claimed my mouth again, like salvation was coating my tonsils. The pads of his fingers reached somewhere deep inside of me, finding some comparative rough patch on one thrust, recognizing it immediately for what it was and rubbing thouroughly against it on his next push.

I moaned out his name, arching my back, toes curling in so hard I thought they would cramp. “ _Jeff,_ ” I grunted, “I…I’m gonna _-_ ” I didn’t get the chance to finish as my climax took me- it couldn’t have been more than five minutes, but it had been eight months, eight months since I’d felt the touch of anyone but my own hands, since I’d felt _him._

When I’d finally spiraled unsteadily back to the decks, had regained some semblance of steady breath, and state of mind- I rolled to return the favor, reaching for the zip to his uniform pants.

“Don’t,” he said, blocking me with his own, and then reiterated, “No need. I, ah…already. Um.”

I blinked. “Just from…”

“Yeah, well, you were enjoying yourself and it was really…gratifying, that I got you off like that. It, um. Also it’s been a while.”

I blinked, eyed his crotch, then his eyes again. “…me too,” I said.

For a few moments, silence.

 _Damn it, kiss him and set this in stone,_ I thought, but nothing moved. _I love you; I love you I LOVE you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou-_

“ _Jeff._ ” EDI’s voice came in over the comms. “ _I apologize for interrupting. There is something wrong at the helm. Alliance docking control is not answering our hails._ ”

Jeff hesitated. “I’ll be up there in a sec, EDI.” He looked, for a brief second, like he might’ve wanted to look at me, but he couldn’t meet my eyes- instead he tugged his cap back into place, slid up off of the bed and started for the helm.

 _Goodbye,_ I thought, _maybe later._

_Words, words, words are wind._

I slid up and sat on the edge of the mattress- put my face in my hands, and sat still for a long moment.

And then, Jeff’s voice over the intercom. “Glenn…you might want to see this.”

Something in his tone made me sit bolt upright. My eyes flicked to the door, and I stood suddenly, fixing my clothes as I hurried up to the bridge with a swelling sense of dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I'm dead. Guh, will I finish this series, or will I die from feels? Stay tuned...


	15. To Add Insult to Injury (and Further Grief to Sorrow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wham bam bam, here's the Citadel coup. /dies/
> 
> So this one's full of developments, and moments, and stuff. Now that Act I is over, we might be seeing more of the other characters and all, now that the really chunky plot stuff is taken care of for the foreseeable future. Remember to leave comments and reviews! Credit to Bioware, I loves you all. Mwah!

I made it up to the cockpit, leaned on the back of Jeff’s chair, frowning. “What’s going on?”

Charlie pushed a button, looking pale. “Thane just called in. Cerberus is attacking the Citadel. They’re after the Council.”

I gaped. “The _hell_?”

“I’d just gotten a call from Councilor Valern,” Charlie snapped her fingers, suddenly. “He said we needed to talk about Udina.”

“Who wants to bet that douchebag is in the middle of all this?” Jeff muttered. He swung through a bit of nebula, said, “What’s your plan, Commander?”

Charlie pressed her mouth tight together. “Open a line to the squad.”

Jeff did as she said, concern still deeply coloring his features. Charlie pressed the button, and leaned in. “All teams, this is Commander Shepard. We’re facing a possible Cerberus coup on the Citadel. We’ve got no time; report to the shuttle bay, try to suit up as best you can, we’re going to drop into C-Sec HQ. Shepard out.” she stepped back, and waved me after her. I bent, yanked Jeff to me by his collar and kissed him, and jogged after her to the lift.

When we reached the shuttle bay, I slid into my undersuit, Alliance blue with small plating at my joints, strapped my weapons on, and then the bay doors were opening. “Go, go, go!” Charlie barked, and we sprinted, leaping from the door and rolling as we hit the Presidium.

C-Sec’s headquarters were swamped with Cerberus troops- the first fell victim to a biotic charge; their shots bouncing off of the barrier I’d erected to cover for my lack of armor. James popped up with a snarl, spraying rifle fire out into the crowds; and Garrus crouched behind an overturned desk with Paxton and began picking off the troops near the door. Javik yanked a few up into the air, and Liara and I ran up as one to deliver a double warp that tore the victims into pieces.

When the last trooper had been neutralized, we heard a voice: “Shepard! Over here!”

As the team jogged over, we found Commander Bailey hunched against the wall, his hand pressed to his side. “Bailey?” Charlie asked, as I knelt and pulled up the medigel applicator on my omni-tool. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to break the Cerberus communications,” he growled, through the pain- “They’ve taken over all of our channels and they’re scrambling all the auxiliary ones- our guys are scattered. They have no idea what to do.” He grunted, and gave me a small nod as I began to put the analgesic on. “If I open a new one; I might be able to get orders out to my guys.” He looked around. “You showed up at just the right time. Brought a small army.”

“Or a really good team,” she said, helping him up. “Can you get the door open?”

“I _can_ ,” he groused, “Long as no one interrupts me with a bullet this time.” He turned, and opened the door to the headquarters, waving us all through. He limped to his desk, sat, and pulled up several comm channels, shaking his head, muttering, and setting to creating the new one.

Charlie looked around, seeming jumpy. “Where’s the salarian councilor?”

Bailey looked up. “He’s not with the others?”

“He and I were going to meet in the Executor’s office,” she said.

Bailey blinked, frowned at his terminal, then at her. “It’s possible that he might still be alive…unlikely, but possible.”

“It’s a fairly defensible position,” said Garrus, “There’s a chance he might have survived.”

“It’s just down that way,” Bailey pointed. “You can go look for him.” We started to go, he held up a finger. “Wait.” He stood, punched a few buttons on his omni-tool, and nodded. “There. Now we can talk over that channel. Good luck.”

Charlie nodded, and then gestured us down the hall.

Garrus took point; knowing the halls and corridors better than anyone else, creeping quietly along the walls. He peered around the corner, nodded, and gestured for the front few of us to go forward.

I moved out into the open, pistol aloft, and then pressed once more to the wall, peering around. Two Cerberus troopers were standing down in the hallway, talking to each other- I held up a fist, for _stop,_ and held my pistol next to my ear to listen.

“-working to agenda so far?”

“-after the salarian, he’s not with the rest.”

“-found him-?”

“-no-”

Quiet as a shadow, I leaned around the corner; put a bullet in the back of each of their heads. I gestured the team forward.

“They’re saying that someone was going after the salarian councilor,” I murmured, as we regrouped. “They know he’s not with the rest. Whoever it is; they haven’t found him yet.”

“Where _are_ the others?” John asked, rifle tucked appropriately to his side.

“Thane radioed the _Normandy._ He escaped from the hospital, he’s on his way,” she said.

John’s eyes bugged momentarily, he only said, “Kaidan?”

“Thane said he had to protect the Council,” Charlie finished, grimly.

“Damn it, Kaidan,” John muttered, turning to the side, shaking his head.

“We’ve gotta focus on the here and now; who’s this guy they’re sending after the Council?” Paxton asked.

“They didn’t specify that it was one guy; it could have been a strike team,” I hissed, as we continued along the hallways- Garrus, ahead, was whispering the names of former colleagues whose bodies he came across, shaking them slightly, clinging to some hope they might be alive.

“We’re here,” he said, finally, pointing up some stairs. I headed up first, the others behind me, looking around, pressing the channel that linked to Bailey. “I don’t see him…” the sudden glimmer of a tactical cloak, the sight I had grown so used to, living in close lodgings with Kasumi Goto, caught my eye on the level below. The salarian councilor emerged from beneath a table, looking anxiously about. He looked our way, large eyes flickering nervously. “I just found him, he’s alive.”

Charlie moved to the rail, and we gasped harshly as one- a man in a short black coat and a visor flipped into the scene, skimming across the floor and coming straight up to the salarian councilor, a diamond-edged blade in his hand. I vaulted over the balcony’s edge, and floated down to the lower floor. Seeing me, the man flipped straight over the councilor’s head and landed behind him, a small sphere of eezo formulating in his hand.

“Nine against one, pal,” I said, as the rest of the squad jogged up behind me. “It’s over.”

The man smirked. “No,” he said, “Now it’s fun.”

The councilor, trapped between the power play, hands in the air, hissed, “Shepard, he’s going to _kill us all_.”

“Not happening,” said Charlie, all eyes for the assassin.

“Not him, _Udina_ ,” the salarian whispered, “He’s staging a coup- the other councilors are headed for a trap!”

For a few seconds, we remained at standoff- then, suddenly, there was a gun muzzle pointed at the man’s ear- he turned, and Thane Krios met his swing with a block. As the two engaged in close combat, Charlie waved the salarian councilor hurriedly through.

Even in his weakened state; Thane was still a force to be reckoned with- the assassin managed to throw him; but he rolled seamlessly back up onto his feet and shot where the assassin _had_ been.

The squad rushed into the circle, guns drawn, Liara and James stepping back and circling Valern, a small bubble barrier erected over their heads. We fanned out, searching for the assassin, moving quiet and wary. Silence was the bane of silent killers.

Then, a sound I knew almost too well, spending time inside my own, time living in close quarters with Kasumi Goto- a tactical cloak dissolving- and the assassin was there, sword in his hand, snarl planted firmly onto his face, close, too close, _come here and face me, you dirty son of a-_

Thane shot by me like a green blur, shoving me back by the elbow, enough so that I staggered, falling to brace onto a planter- my hand shot out, I yanked at the assassin’s leg, enough force that his leg should have been torn off. A chunk came out, but even as I watched, _it grew back,_ and he sprang up into the ceilings, swinging away from the squad’s fire. Then, he had vanished into the rafters, gone again, dead silence with our guns pointed at the ceiling.

A few tense moments. Charlie strode forward, her gun still aloft. “Come out here,” she called. “Reveal yourself and surrender, and you’ll live. We’ll take you as our prisoner.”

We were already fooled. I knew it when I heard the cloak dissolve, just barely to my right- I saw the flash of the blade, saw her not moving fast enough- _Charlie turn around turn around TURN AROUND-_

And suddenly, she was flying. A biotically-charged shove sent her skidding across the floor with a sharp _uhf_ of shock, drowned out by the pained sound of all of the air being shoved from someone’s lungs, a sound I knew all too well. The team’s guns were trained too late, we were too slow. No killer instinct, no dream team, not even the best assassin in the galaxy could stand up to the perfect cyborg. My breath caught and my head spun as I watched, as the mentor and the first true family I had ever known trembled against the blade he had fallen on, the blade meant for our commander. His blood dripped red onto the floor, his hand rose weak and shaking to the blade, almost as if to try and push it out. The assassin did so, yanked the sword from him, glimmering red on diamond-edged steel, and he ran, as Thane crumpled to the ground.

_Coward._

_Coward cheat coward murderer murderer MURDERER-_

I tore free of Garrus’ commanding grip, and ripped after the assassin- fired shots at his back that landed and slowed him down none. He reached the edge, and he jumped.

Then, a skycar lifted him up, and he was speeding away down the Presidium.

_Murderer murderer murderer the Council murderer-_

The last few shots at the car came not from my pistol, but from Thane’s. He was leaning heavily on a lintel when I turned, his entire gut seeping red, but he fired until his clip ran out, then sliding breathlessly down to the floor.

“Thane!” Charlie tore around the corner, nearly skidding when she fell to kneel beside him, eyes gleaming with bright tears- “Thane. _Thane_.”

“I have time,” he choked, “Go after him.”

Charlie stood hurriedly with a broken noise that might have passed for a “ _yeah_ ,” shaking her head rapidly, wiping roughly at her eyes, and cut into the channel. “Bailey. The salarian councilor’s safe. Thane needs medical treatment now. Udina’s staging a coup; there’s a Cerberus assassin headed after the Council now.”

A few moments later, a C-Sec skycar pulled up for us. John slid into the driver’s seat, wild-eyed, bellowing for us all to get the hell in.

I hurried, knelt by Thane, shook my head with wide eyes at all of the blood- it was everywhere, _everywhere_ -

“Go,” said Thane, coughing, lifting the hand from his belly to push some of my hair from my eyes. He left a streak of blood on my temple, my cheekbone. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Thane-”

“ _GLENN_!” John called. I pressed my mouth thin together, got up and sprinted to the shuttle, sliding into the backseat next to EDI and Liara. Charlie had shotgun, and as John tore off after the red car in front of us, she opened her door, popped up and shot out the windows. The assassin moved up to the top of his, crouched, and leapt to ours. He jabbed his sword into the front hood, killing the engines, and sending us spiraling down. “Hang on!” John growled, as the assassin smirked and flipped away.

We crashed into the Presidium Commons- John popped the top off and we all clambered hurriedly from the wreck, chasing after him as he slid into an alcove. “Bailey, he took us down in the Commons,” he barked into his earpiece, as we sprinted through- my visor read sudden biotic signatures, and I shoved him behind cover and let everyone else follow my lead.

“ _I’ll update your maps with the coordinates,_ ” he said, “ _The Council’s in an elevator, I’ll grab one for you.”_

As I rose from cover, a new enemy rose to greet me. She was dressed in a lithe Cerberus catsuit; face obscured by a mask, but she too held a sword, and the image was- at least, for now- a permanent trigger to violence.

And that was the story of how I yanked someone completely off the ground, and threw them against the farthest wall with a sickening _crunch._ “FLY, _BITCH_!” I screamed, and then a smokescreen appeared, and a mech came tramping through.

My teeth gritted, I’m sure I looked like a maniac in their scopes- psychotic face, black eyes, snarl, blood-smeared- they sent a rocket flying, and I turned it completely around, sent it to impact directly at the cockpit. “I’LL TEAR YOU _APART_!” I took the most powerful jump of my life, vaulted from the top of the destroyed ATLAS; and seemed to come down in slow motion- the mech exploded behind me, it was all suddenly silent; the assassin and a legion of his sword-bearing minions were in a closing elevator.

“MOTHER _FUCKER_!” I spat, as the doors shut in my face, sprinting up to them. The other door opened- Bailey’s doing- and I was the first one to step onto the top of the car. The team filed into the shaft, and Bailey came in over the comms: “ _Hold on, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride._ ”

The car began to race up the cable, making us all momentarily stagger and hold onto each other for support. Javik sniffed primly, with his six nostrils, and shook off Liara’s steadying arm, muttering about biotics and balance, and stupid primitives.

“There he is!” John barked, and several rifles opened fire- Garrus, Paxton, Charlie, he and I- wore faces of near-indeterminate rage. The sword girls were mowed down quickly, but we flashed up the way, and suddenly the assassin was gone.

“Jump!” John barked, and we leapt to the second lift. Bailey sped up our rise, and then we were coming up on a second elevator.

“There’s the Council!” John said, and then we all jumped to this lift at last. Then, promptly, we staggered as the sound of gunfire echoed under our feet.

Then, the lift was pulling to a stop, and the clamor of voices inside drained out to the landing pad beyond. Garrus threw off the elevator hatch, and we dropped inside the cabin, then ran out after the Council.

Sparatus, Tevos, and Udina all stood facing us blankly; Major Alenko in front of them all in his blue armor, holding an assault rifle.

“Shepard?” he spoke. John stepped forward, helming up our mass of people.

“He’s with Cerberus,” Udina said, from the back, pointing an accusing finger. “They all are. They’ve been sent to kill us all.”

Kaidan held up his gun, looking uncertainly at us.

“Don’t listen to him, Kaidan,” said John. His eyes narrowed, shifted to Udina. “You’re not who I came for.”

Kaidan- by-the-books, a loyal, blind fool doing his duty- instantly moved in front of the councilor. “Put the guns down,” he said, steadily, but I could see the edge in his eyes, his expression, he was ready to shatter under pressure.

John shared a look with me, with Garrus, then pressed closer, the gun still held aloft. “Would I do this if I wasn’t absolutely _certain_?” he snapped, as the muzzle of Kaidan’s rifle wavered uncertainly between the few of us in the front. “Would I, Kaidan?”

“We’ve doubted Shepard before,” said the asari councilor, looking to Sparatus. “We have suffered for it.”

“Udina’s behind all this, he’s staged a coup with Cerberus, they’re coming for you right now,” he jerked his head back at the elevator shaft.

“You have no proof!” Udina scoffed. “You never do! I’m overriding the lock on the elevator.”

John’s eyes narrowed furiously, hands tightening and releasing on his gun. I cocked my pistol, pointed it between his eyes. “I’ll blow the dye off what little hair you have left if you take another step,” I growled. He shot me a brief stinkeye, but he moved to the console shy of the flaming shuttle, and opened up the override program.

Finally, Kaidan seemed to relent in his posture. “I better not regret this,” he said, lowly.

And at last, John gave the gesture to lower our guns. “You won’t,” he promised.

And now, Kaidan turned to Udina, holding his gun aloft. “Udina…step away from the console.”

Udina shook his head, snarled, “To _hell_ with this-” Tevos stepped up, put a hand on his arm, and he jerked away, knocking her down, pulling out a pistol and pointing it down at her.

Before anyone could move or think or even _breathe_ , a shot had rang out, and Udina had flown back several feet, a huge red hole blossoming in the middle of his chest, his last look of shock still frozen on his face.

Slowly, we all looked back to see Paxton, at the rear of her group, lowering her slightly-smoking Black Widow. She was scowling. “And that’s why I hate politicians,” she said.

That was when I noticed someone breaking through the door. “They’re getting in!” Tevos cried, as Sparatus helped her up. We raised our weapons, but when the door opened Bailey came limping through, flanked by two C-Sec officers. “Relax,” he said, putting his hands marginally up. “Just me.”

John lowered his rifle, stepped forward. “Bailey. What happened to Cerberus?”

“Well, they beat feet when they saw us coming this way,” he said. “Fled through the keeper tunnels- situation’s mostly contained now.” He looked to the Council. “I hate to break it to you, but Shepard just saved all of your asses.”

Sparatus blinked, looking to John. “Then it seems I owe you two debts,” he said, grudgingly, “One on behalf of Palaven, and a personal one.” Tevos nodded, still looking a little paler blue than usual. Kaidan slung his rifle back, wiped his brow, and turned away from us, looking conflicted, confused, and like he was developing a major headache.

Perhaps half an hour later; I’d made it to Bailey’s office for the debrief- he’d called me in himself, and when I didn’t see any of the others, it didn’t bode well.

“Commander,” he said, as I entered. “You look like you’ve been through three circles of hell today.”

“Just three?” I snarked, decided against sitting down, for fear of falling asleep. “What’s the damage reports?”

“Well, the Council’s intact thanks to you- except for Udina, of course.” He shook his head. “That lying bastard was under my nose this whole time-”

“Stop,” I sighed, waving a hand at him. “No one saw it coming. Don’t blame yourself.”

“Yeah,” he snorted, “Say what you want to human nature, it’s just gonna do its own thing. Cerberus has been mostly kicked off the Citadel- no sign of your assassin buddy. He released a VI into the Citadel systems that erased security footage everywhere he went.” He shook his head. “The drell, though- they’re calling him a hero. Councilor Valern would’ve been old news without him.”

My heart jumped into my throat. “How is Thane?”

Bailey sighed, shuffling a few things on his desk. “They took him back to Huerta- said something about a blood transfusion. It didn’t look good. I’d say, if you wanted to see him…you’d best go now.”

I pressed my mouth tight together, looked at the front of his desk and nodded. “I understand,” I said, finally. “Thank you. I’ll pass these reports along to Admiral Hackett.” Bailey nodded, as I walked out of his office, reaching up to redo my ponytail, finally giving up and letting it go free. If God had any degree of mercy, there would be no more fights today. I stood for a moment outside his office; looked at all of the destruction and damage around me, the people flocked about, speaking nervously, crying.

Then, I took off at an officer’s clip to the lift. I punched the button for the hospital, and stood at parade rest in the elevator, impassive.

The waiting room was filled when I came inside, people on stretchers- there was noise everywhere, but I heard none of it, tuned into nothing, and moved into the inpatient wing, weaving through the hordes of doctors, rushing aides, people moaning, laid out in makeshift biobeds on the floors.

At last, I found Charlie speaking to a doctor outside one room. She was wringing her hands, face already red and blotchy, as he talked: “-ended up being the right blood type; but Mr. Krios is in the final stages of Kepral’s syndrome. There’s not much you can do for him now, but…”

Charlie just nodded, briskly. “I understand,” she said, hoarsely. “Thank you. Anyway.”

The doctor hesitated, hands working on his datapad, and then he nodded and moved along.

Charlie stood staring, up at the door, frozen into place. I moved up beside her, put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped- hadn’t seen me there, I’d been moving on silent feet, perhaps. “Hey, Charles.”

She didn’t answer me, just kept looking straight up and into the door.

I squeezed her shoulder. “Come on. Not anything left to do now but say goodbye.” At that, she looked to me, eyes brimming over with fresh tears. Her lip trembled a little, and she looked to our feet, but she nodded. “Yeah,” she croaked. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t know if I can…”

“You always knew this day was coming,” I said, trying to be as strong as I could when I felt like I was breaking myself inside. “For all of us. One day, our number comes up, and…” I sucked in a shaky breath, shaking my head. “And then, it’s up.”

Charlie looked again at the door.

I squeezed her shoulder. “Going in there is going to be one of the hardest things you ever do. But if you _don’t_ , you’re never gonna forgive yourself, and you’re gonna regret it the rest of your life.” A silence, and I squeezed again, moving down, taking her hand. “Come on.”

I led her up to the door, just barely into the room.

There was another drell in the room that turned as we entered- I immediately recognized him. “Commander Shepard,” he said. “I don’t suppose you remember me. I’m Kolyat Krios. Before, you…stopped me from hurting someone.”

“I remember,” Charlie said, nodding.

“Hey, Kolyat,” I said. The young drell looked to me, exhibiting no signs of surprise. “Glenn.”

“Your dad tell you I was around?” I asked, with the corner of my mouth making some gruesome parody of a sad smile.

“I saw you with them…before,” he said, turning back to the hospital bed. Thane was laid out there on his back, hands folded over his abdomen, breathing unsteadily with his eyes closed. “You shot Talid, I- knew who you were. I didn’t say anything.” He looked back to me. We both blinked, I moved closer to Thane, shifting around the foot of the bed and standing on his other side.

“I gave him a transfusion,” Kolyat spoke, still lowly. “But, well…he’s asked me to take off his oxygen mask, so he can be comfortable. I…don’t think it’ll be long.”

Charlie nodded, biting on her lip. Her voice managed to come out even- broken, but even. “Your father helped me save a lot of lives. I’d like to be here.”

Kolyat nodded. “Of course,” he said, and he stepped aside to let her through.

Thane opened his eyes a few moments later. “Siha,” he spoke, weakly. “I’m afraid…I’ve picked a bad time to leave.”

Charlie made a sound like a sob, took his hand, made a sad smile through her tears. “You couldn’t disappoint me, Thane. Not even now.”

“Such pleasant things from your lips,” Thane sighed, and suddenly, his body was wracked with a vicious coughing fit. “Excuse me,” he croaked, after it settled. “Breathing is difficult.” He gripped her hand. “Siha…it will be soon. I need to know if the councilor survived.

“Yes, Father,” Kolyat spoke, “Three are alive, thanks to you and Shepard. Udina…he instigated it. He is dead.”

Thane coughed, but managed a smile, “That assassin should be ashamed. A terminally ill drell managed to keep him from reaching his target.”

I took his other hand, and he looked to me on his other side, Kolyat at my left elbow. “Ah,” he said. “Glenn.” Still, weakly, smiling. “Your face is as welcome a sight as the rising sun.”

I sobbed, smiled, wiped away a tear with my free hand. “You’ve grown stronger than I ever could’ve believed,” he said to me, with difficulty. “Seeing you fight today with that assassin…I know, when you cross paths again one day, you will be the one to walk away victorious.” He coughed again, harsher this time. I gripped his hand, tears rolling slowly, cutting paths down the dirt and grime and blood on my face. “Know that…I only pushed you away, fearing for your safety.”

“Thane…” I began to protest.

“My days were numbered,” he cut me off. “You have your life ahead. You have many things yet left to say.” He looked me dead in the eye. “Promise me this, Glenn- do _not_ throw your life away. You are meant to be a warrior protector of the people, a patron of Arashu…but do not hold your own life in so little regard.” He coughed once. “I have spent…forty years in the galaxy. And never once have I ever met anyone who wasn’t important.”

“Thane,” I spoke. “I…there’s something…that I have to do.” I took my free hand, placed one thumb at his temple and another on the side of his head. “The asari can share memories with the meld,” I said, smiling bitterly through tear-blurred eyes. “It’s…something they only do with those they consider their most trusted friends.” I blinked, letting the tears roll, morphing into the grief-twisted beam of the condemned. “And…it’s often meant as a goodbye.”

Without further ceremony, I embraced eternity, brought him with me.

_He has cornered me. I know, at last, I’m to die- defiant; I throw one more punch, one he easily catches. We stand there, frozen. “Do it,” I tell him, squeezing my eyes shut tight, looking away. “Just do it.”_

_Suddenly, he lets me go, he steps back._

_“My employer was not clear about the assignment,” he says, stiffly. “He told me I was to terminate a master information broker.”_

_“Are you about to tell me I don’t look like an information broker?” I snap- sixteen, and full of youthful arrogance. “We’re like gays, it’s not like we wear IDs or anything.”_

_“You are more transparent than you would think,” he says, but the corner of his mouth is turning up at me._

_“If I wanted to be mocked I would start dancing at Afterlife,” I tell him, flatly. “Are you going to kill me, or not?”_

_“Seeing as my employer has given me an incorrect assignment; I suppose I’m going to have to fix it before I do anything about it.” he crosses his arms._

_“Really?” I cross my arms, cock an eyebrow and prop a hip. “What are you gonna do, fishy lips?”_

_“I can put the ‘master’ into the phrase ‘master information broker’,” he tells me, now full-on smirking. “Come to the spaceport tomorrow morning. Go with me to Kahje. Train there.”_

_“Really.” I deadpan. “And then you’ll kill me?”_

_He doesn’t answer my question- he just tosses something onto the floor. I bend to inspect it- it’s a credit chit; enough for passage off-world. “If you look back in a second and they’re still there; then they’re doing something wrong.”_

_I look back up, and he’s gone._

_The next morning, though, when I come to the spaceport, he’s there waiting. … “Well, this is a real case of wax on wax off,” I mutter, trying to dip lower into the stretch._

_The boy on the porch looks quizzically at me, as the sweat beads on my forehead. “What’s wax on wax off?”_

_“It’s an-” I growl, trying to shift, immediately met with pain from…well, everywhere. “-old vid from Earth. Old guy named Miyagi tries to teach this kid Daniel-san to do martial arts to defend himself. Has him do a lot of housework; but it turns out that it’s actually teaching him fight skills…” I grunt. “This, though, I’m not even doing housework, I’m just…slowly…dying…” I groan, dropping my head onto my knee. “Kill me.”_

_The boy watches me. He tilts his head. “I can help you.”_

_I raise my head. “You will?”_

_“-if you watch the vid with me,” he finishes, looking quite scheming._

_I groan, and look up at the kid. “You’re a damn space pirate, kid.”_

_“Does that mean yes?” he bounces from where he sits._

_I sigh. “Fine. Yes. I’ll watch the Karate Kid with you.”_

_The boy hops up from his seat, trots out to me, moves my foot in the sand, and pushes down on my back. “This is how father does it.”_

_I drop my head, star between my arm and leg at him. “That’s it?”_

_The kid grins._

_“Space pirate,” I repeat, and stagger up to my feet. “O-kay, that’s enough for today.” I look down to the kid, cock an eyebrow. “Who’d you say you were.”_

_“Kolyat,” he says, and he doesn’t even play it cool, just takes my hand and walks me off somewhere._

_We do watch the vid that night; and it’s not so amusing to me as it is to watch Kolyat’s father come padding through, pause, stand staring quizzically at the screen for several minutes, narrowing his eyes, and at last coming to sit with us. Kolyat wastes no time in scooting close under his arm; like these things don’t happen often. I cast a sideways glance upon them, and smile. … Nearly a year’s gone by- we fight, we match hit for hit, block for block, corona for corona, until there is nothing left, not even a winner._

_When we part on Omega once more, he tells me, “I’ve taught you everything I know.”_

_I smirk. “Am I a master information broker now? I suppose you could kill me after all.”_

_His mouth cocks to the side. “I tried.”_

_We stand, for a moment. Then, I throw my arms around him. “Goodbye, Thane,” I say, “Be safe.” I step back, and then I disappear into the crowds, one moment there, another gone._

_If you look back in a second and you’re still there; then they’re doing something wrong._

There are other memories, of course- moments of stillness under palm trees shifting in the breeze, the crash of the ocean, moments spent around the table like a _family,_ something I had never thought to have- and then, moments more recent, a few months ago- tea in life support, perusing an antique books stand in the Wards. I hold up a copy of _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,_ grinning, and he too smiles, rests his hand on my shoulder.

Then, suddenly, we’re back in the present. Thane’s eyes were bright and mine were too, and I gently let slip my hand, only for him to take it when I brush by again.

“I will not say ‘do not weep,’” he said, finally, squeezing weakly my hand. “All tears are not an evil. But do not grieve me. I am attended by both of my children. They are…more than I ever could have hoped for. I am proud.”

Kolyat and I looked to each other, searching and then back to Thane. “There is something I must do-” he began to cough. “-before it gets worse-” his body was wracked harder by painful spasms than before, and his face was still tight when it died away. “Kalahira,” he began, “Mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand- Kalahira, wash the sins from this one, and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit-” another fit set in, leaving him gasping for breath, a grating noise reaching us with every sharp intake.

“Kalahira, this one’s heart is pure,” Kolyat spoke, in the midst of the coughing, “but beset by wickedness and contention.”

As Thane was able to speak again, he seemed much weaker- there was a smile, though, on his face, the faint smile of someone whose pain was fading away. “Kolyat,” he said, “You speak as the priests do. You’ve been spending time with them.”

Kolyat just nodded, once, sidled in beside Charlie on the other side of the bed. “I’ve brought a prayer book, Commander. Would you like to join me?”

Charlie nodded, craned her neck to look at the page he opened to, and the verse he pointed out. “Guide this one to where the traveler never tires,” she said, voice wavering and halting on the notes. “The…the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide this one, Kalahira, and…she will be a companion to you as she was to me.”

As she spoke these last words, I felt Thane’s hand squeeze mine once more- and then, he turned his head towards the green of the Presidium, the blue of its lakes, and breathed a soft sigh.

There was a silence. Charlie reached over, slowly, and gently closed his eyes. “Goodbye, Thane,” she said, softly, words thick in her throat. “Meet you across the sea.”

There was a long moment- a long moment in which we all stood silent. I know I was the first to leave, turning and leaving through the door, making it as far as the waiting room before my legs gave out and I sat on one of the rows of chairs.

I don't know how long I sat there. I don't know if anyone stopped and stared, or if they went on and pretended to ignore me. I do know now that some hotshot photographer grabbed a picture of me that got history-book famous; like the V-J Day kiss and putting the flag up on Iwo Jima. It didn't matter to me, then, and it still doesn't. All I knew then was that somehow, I had lost two fathers in the space of a day, both to noble sacrifice; righting wrongs, perishing with few regrets- not some of the bad ways to go, but I had always been the sort to cock an eyebrow and say "name me a good one." Hell, Thane had gone out at last surrounded by those he loved, at last atoned for the sins he’d committed. The last thing he heard; his last prayer for his Siha. God, and he’d loved her, hadn’t he? I’d always thought to myself, “is that really a thing?”, even as they’d exchanged smiles and constantly watched each other’s sixes, sharing cups of tea when we all gathered. For a moment, I was truly drell as the memories flooded me- _His mouth curves into a fond smile, his eyes soften, he says, “Siha.” … The ship races from the hell we’ve escaped, outrunning the blast. We emerge on the other side of the relay. She begins to count off her team; though she already knows that we’ve all made it. He knows too. He seizes her halfway through and hushes her with a kiss. … She bends over a datapad, brows furrowed, massaging her temples; her head aches. He moves in, takes the datapad and pushes a cup of tea into her empty hand. He sets the datapad aside. She looks up, smiles, tired. He slides in next to her, puts his arm around her; they sit, still, a long time._

_The universe is a dark place. I’m trying to make it brighter before I die._

_I’ve taken many bad things out of the world, but you’re one of the only good things I added to it._

_I will not say “do not weep.” All tears are not an evil. But do not grieve me. I am attended by both of my children. They are…more than I ever could have hoped for. I am proud._

He’d set to make the universe less dark, with the time he had left. _I am near the end of my life. It is a good time to be generous_. But in dying now, perhaps one of the brightest lights of all was snuffed out.

I don’t know how long I sat there. What I do know, is that for some time, I sat with my head bowed and my hands curled into fists, in the waiting room of Huerta Memorial Hospital, and cried.

I spent a long while alone in my room- both alone, _and_ truly alone. I thought to call Jeff; but just the thought of what had happened earlier made me cringe. That had been stupid, and selfish, and weak. And now I’d probably made things worse- we’d been doing _so_ well…

I sat there, running my fingers over that copy of _Hitchhiker’s Guide,_ and opened to a random page. _“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”_ I read. I smiled a little, closed the book before my tears could wet the pages- wiped them away as the door opened. “Yeah?”

It was John. He looked serious; business-like, and he beckoned me up after him. Frowning, I obliged. He led me to the QEC, where Paxton stood with her arms crossed- and Hackett up on the comm.

I tossed him a salute. “Sir.”

“Lieutenant Commander,” he said, with a nod.

I turned to John. “What’s this about, Shepard?”

John sighed, shared his look with Paxton. “Pax and I were talking, and we called Hackett to compare notes.” His hands folded. “We’ve…we’re worried about Charlie. She isn’t answering anyone’s calls, even for business matters. We even tried going to her door. It’s like she’s…shut down.”

I frowned. “All right, I’ll go ahead and shoot the elephant in the room; she _loved_ him, okay? Right, she’s the first human Spectre and the twice-savior of the galaxy, but she’s not human too? You remember how _I_ freaked the fuck out when the word got to us the Collectors had taken the crew; and I thought they had Je-Joker too?”

“Right, but you _internalized_ it,” Paxton broke in. “Charlie used to do that. That’s part of what made her a leader, her focus. And now it’s gone.”

“It was one time,” I said, softly.

“The stakes don’t allow second chances,” John ruled, shaking his head. “We just…we have to do some shuffling around.” He raised his head. “That’s why I’m stepping out of my position. They’re belaying your orders to the 79th Flotilla; you’re staying on here as the executive officer.”

I gaped. “What? Are you CO now or something?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Charlie still is. But…right now?” he looked tired, worried, too human. “I need to worry about my sister. You’ve always put the crew first. So…” he stood straighter, saluted, said, “Awaiting your orders, ma’am.”

I blinked, suddenly overwhelmed. “I…” I shook my head suddenly, asked, “Major Alenko’s come aboard for the long run, right?”

John nodded.

I jerked my head towards the door. “Go check that he’s settling in.”

John nodded again, and he left. Paxton also saluted, and followed him out. I watched them go, and realized Hackett was still there, looking intently at me. At first I shied from his scar-eyed glare, but then I met him ounce-for-ounce.

The QEC flickered away. I turned from the terminal, let out a sudden breath, and leaned on the frame, shutting my eyes for a long moment.

I took my time in wandering back out to my room- when I got there, however, I found a figure there in my room.

“Ah…hi?” I stepped inside, looking around the curtain of brown hair of the person sitting cross-legged on my bed. “I wasn’t…oh. Commander.”

I hadn’t recognized Charlie, with her hair out. She’d had another of my books in her hands- I took it from limp hands, as I sat down beside her. “I…” she said, numb. “I didn’t want to be alone.” She leaned her cheek on my shoulder, and sat there for a long time.

“Read to me?” she asked, pushing the book into my hands. I took the old volume, brushed across the worn leather cover, and obligingly opened it; old spine crackling, pages smelling musty, all things that made me think of Thane. Her, too, because she sighed and closed her eyes.

I turned to the first page. “When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.”


	16. Many Meetings, Several Developments, and the Next Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter- another character study, as promised, and more to come in the future. However, now I have an important question for my readers-
> 
> Do you want to see the Omega DLC in-story? I already know for certain I'm doing Citadel, and that Leviathan isn't happening. Omega, however, is still a question. Sound off in the comments if you'd like it to happen, because I'll need to plan accordingly for yes or no. Up to you, readers!
> 
> It all belongs to Bioware, as stated before. Enjoy. c:

Gabby Daniels came to me in the middle of some paperwork. I raised my eyes, kicked my eyebrows up a few notches, asked, “You here to tell me to repent, Marley? Or did you just die in the fans down in the subdecks…don’t think I’ve ever seen you up this far.” I checked the time on my terminal- her shift had just ended. I knew these things now, being _Normandy_ ’s executive officer.

She shifted on her feet. “I know you must be awfully busy, ah…ma’am.” She folded her hands in front of her. “I just had something to ask.”

I minimized the window, sat up straighter and mimicked the lean-over-the-desk, fingers-locked posture of XO Lawson. “Permission to speak freely, Daniels. Drop the titles, woman to woman. What’s up?”

Gabby seemed to brighten considerably. “Well, Ken and I- mostly me and Traynor, actually, but he helped too-” she dropped her voice to a whisper. “We planned a baby shower for Rhaella. And we got a few things on the Citadel- we were wondering if you wanted to come along.”

I blinked. “Uh…well…” I checked the clock. “When is it?”

“We were planning on tomorrow,” she said. “We wanted to give you enough notice while we were docked here for you to get her something. You know.”

I blinked. Rubbed at my temples, pulled up my calendar, glanced briefly (as was becoming habit) to the picture frame on my desk, bearing a holo I’d taken some months ago in the era of the dirty dozen, Thane smiling candidly and Mordin beaming horribly ( _horribly_ ) at the camera.

Blinking rapidly, I looked back to Gabby. “Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll get something tomorrow and be there…?”

“After shift,” she provided.

“After shift,” I repeated, nodding. “All right. That it?”

Gabby paused, looked momentarily to the ceiling, and nodded. I waved her off, and she saluted and left.

Sighing, I spun in my chair, picked up the frame and looked at the picture; the faces of two fathers that I had somehow survived a week without. _At least there’s only one anniversary every year,_ some bitter part of me figured, and I put the holo back in its place, turning back to the terminal with a marginal sigh. I opened my messages and thumbed through the new ones- new psych reports from Chakwas regarding Charlie, a few check-ins from our new squadmate Major Foxtrot Alenko, a report from Huerta on Grunt’s steady recovery, and a short one from Steve- _I’m going to hit the docks tomorrow. You still game?_

I opened it, and tapped out my reply. _Meet you there._ I piddled around in my rearranged quarters a bit more, and then at last (with a sigh) decided to go to bed. When I laid out on the mattress, sleep didn’t come easy- it never had, after all, even when I wasn’t fighting for the fate of galactic life- but I had ghosts on top of everything now, and plenty of other matters to worry about instead of trying to find peace. I closed my eyes with a soft exhale, began to clear my mind like Thane had taught-

And then, flying in out of nowhere, came a memory- lying on this very bed, gripping at the sheets while Jeff bit at my shoulder and showed me nirvana with his hands.

My eyes squeezed momentarily, I sighed, letting them slide back open. Jeff and I hadn’t barely spoken after that little episode, and if awkward silences could kill I would be six ways to Sunday along with Thane and Mordin. I still had the bruise he’d sucked onto the line of my shoulder, and I rubbed unconsciously at it as I lay there, sighing.

After a moment, it became apparent that the problem wasn’t going to go away on its own- the feel of his fingers pressing deep inside me was still too fresh; the recollection of someone else’s touch still too strong; and the pull for sex still too powerful to just will it all away. So I sighed, skimmed a hand under the waistband of my shorts, laid back and thought of England (Aria T’Loak’s ass. Quarians. The helpless noise Jeff made when I had his dick in my mouth. Kasumi being obnoxiously flirtatious. Anything. Anything but Jeff Moreau.)

I finally got off to the half-baked image of some nameless woman with a lean, boyish figure (it was probably one of the least satisfying orgasms of my life), but it left me tired and disappointed enough to sigh and roll over and go to sleep.

The next morning was no better. I woke from a night of murky dreams that disappeared as soon as I opened my eyes; leaving me grasping at straws and fog. I shuffled down to the mess, had my coffee, showered, dressed, and took my leave of the decks, making my way out to the docking control and standing blank in the crowds for just a moment.

That seemed to happen to me now. Sometimes, in the midst of a lot of movement and noise, I would just stop, go blank and stand there until everything whited out- then, suddenly I would jerk back to real life, and remember all of a sudden what I was doing.

After perhaps ten seconds, I shook my head, blinked rapidly, and turned about until I spotted Steve Cortez.

The shuttle pilot was leaning on the rail by the great glass windows, watching the ships cruising in and out of the spaceport. I clapped him on the shoulder as I approached, sidled in to lean on the rail beside him. “Hey, Steve. Spot anything interesting?”

Steve looked at me, blue eyes a stark contrast in the middle of a browned face, and shrugged. “No. Not…particularly, I guess. But being here…it’s…I don’t know. All of these people, who’ve lost everything, trying to survive. Doing whatever they can to see another day.”

I blinked, watching the ships, looked to my side, to him. “You talking about them?” a pause, and his eyes flicked down momentarily. “Or maybe, you?”

He sighed. “I…I don’t know. I thought I’d moved on. I told myself I had. Then…an invasion hits, there’s no time, the first thing I grab is that…?” he shook his head. “It’s time to move on. For real, this time.”

A long silence passed between us.

“I’d heard…they had a memorial wall, here. In the emergency housing for refugees. For people lost. Loved ones. I’d thought…maybe I’d go there.”

“You should,” I said, looking to him.

“I’ll need time to think about it,” he said, wringing his hands, frowning. “I’ll…I’ll figure it out, and…I don’t know. It’s just…it’s hard to contemplate. I feel like…I put that behind me, what am I going to be fighting for?”

Something out in the port caught my eye, and my head snapped around to let me get a better look. “What’s that Alliance ship doing there?”

Steve followed my eyes, and he answered, “That’s the _London._ She was decommissioned years ago; see the symbol on the hull?” a pause. “She’s seen battle; look at the waver in her eezo emissions. They must have salvaged her- Geneva-class cruisers always had drive cores like granite.”

We watched the ship limp along in the port, and at last I looked back to him and smiled. “People find a way to survive.”

He was a long time in nodding. “I guess so.”

After another few moments, I stepped back, told him, “I’ll stop by the refugee docks later. I have a few things to take care of; all right?” he waved as I stepped away, moving towards the lift in the rear.

I first took the elevator up to the commons- first things first; I would find a gift for Rhaella. What did new mothers need, anyway? She’d already gone maternity clothes-shopping with Gabby, my intel told me. That was a necessity covered. I had always been terrible at gift-giving; my life had ingrained on me to pay little mind to the things I wanted, but the things I would _need._ Food sufficient for a biotic, source of clean water, defensible position, thermal clips, medigel, gun oil. Even my early years with the mercs hadn’t totally deprived me of the typical human exchanges, but I doubted you’d find gun mods and crucial intel under the typical Christmas tree.

Needs, then. What did she need?

I was pondering this as I passed by a storefront- small, unassuming, but quite out-of-place on the Presidium; even with the scorch marks and wreckage of the recent coup all around. The shop title read: “THE OUBLIETTE”, and the inside looked dark, and perhaps even lined in stone.

Intrigued, I stepped inside.

The shop was fairly deserted, save for a few girls quietly browsing one of the racks. They afforded me a brief look, and quickly went back to their shopping. I looked around; a shelf of old books instantly catching my eye. I scooted on into the back, and carefully shuffled through the titles there until one of them caught my eye.

 _The Reality Trap_ : the title was pressed into the old leather cover, a simple indentation. I opened to the cover page, frowning, my eyes widening when I read the title again in ink; this time, underlined in small print, _Mary L. Glenn._

“She was a writer a long time ago,” someone said, and I turned to see a withered old woman holding a broom in her hand. She tapped on the title. “Born in the last years of the twentieth century. She lived to see the beginning of this one, though. She was an old woman when I was just a girl- I remember reading her stories while I grew up.” Her wrinkled face cracked into a smile. “She and her sister once wrote a delightful book about pastries living in a bakery- and then there were the stories about the huntress Ibera and her adventures…there are some that say this was her greatest work yet. One hundred sixty-four years, and it’s still a favorite. People buy it on the datapad now, of course, the hard copies are becoming quite rare.” She turned, and began to sweep the floor again.

Stone walls, manual floor sweeping. Hard copy books. Hard copy books by women with the same name as me. I turned to the back sleeve, found the _About the Author_ section complete with thumbnail, and nearly had a heart attack. A quick skim through the biography told me she was twenty-four when the book was first published; and I could have passed for the woman in the photo any day.

I closed the volume, looked at the cover and debated, and then held it out to the sweeping woman. “How much?”

The woman tottered behind the old wooden counter, beamed at me as I set it down. “Three hundred fifty credits,” she told me, and I nodded, pulling up my omni-tool to make the transaction.

“What brought you here?” she asked me, as I did so.

Suddenly, I was reminded of why I had indeed come. “Well, ah. My sister’s- younger sister’s- baby shower is tonight. I’ve been at a loss for what to get her, I’m…not good at gift-getting.”

The woman looked me over, and then she reached under the counter for something. It was a small box- she placed it on the counter and pulled off the top. I leaned down and peered intently at the contents, cocking my head.

“This is an old rune,” she said, tracing the engraving in the plain charm about the chain. “It is meant to give protection to mothers and their children- a new mother will wear it; and when her daughter has her first child, she then gives it to her.”

I blinked. “All right,” I said, finally. “That, too.”

The woman smiled, nodded, watch me as I finished the transfer. Her own terminal blipped with the completion of the transaction.

“Here you are, dear,” she said, putting a bag up onto the counter. I nodded, smiled in thanks, put my things in there and took my leave.

Right, shopping done. Next thing was business.

The lift bore me up, shopping bag in hand, to the embassies. I hooked a right at the hallway; passing by the door labeled _Councilor Udina_ \- the lock was red. I turned to the Spectre offices, pulled out the borrowed card, and tapped the scanner to open the door.

I walked in through the darkened hallway, the uplights igniting as I moved down the catwalk. “ _Spectre status recognized,_ ” said the VI, “ _Welcome, Commander Shepard._ ” I moved down to the end; three terminals standing opposite the door to a shooting range. I moved to the left most one, found the call expected; and opened the channel. I waited a few moments, and then the image flickered to life over the QEC: Miranda Lawson, just as I’d left her, in a catsuit now missing the Cerberus logo.

“Glenn?” she looked only mildly surprised to see me, being of above average human intellect. “It’s good to see you. How is everyone?”

“We’re all fine,” I said.

“Thank God,” she said, “I worried when I heard about the coup.” She shook her head. “Even I would never have seen it coming.”

“Well, we got here just in time,” I told her, shifting to stand at my preferred arms-crossed, hip cocked to the right stance. “The Illusive Man had some sword-toting assassin out after the Council-”

“Wait,” Miranda spoke, her eyes suddenly narrowing. “An assassin? With a sword? What was he like, did you see him?”

“I traded punches with him,” I said, grimly. “Guy was some sort of augmented freak. I tore a chunk right out of his leg and he kept on going. Shoulder-length black hair, visor, short coat?”

“Kai Leng,” she hissed, scowling. “That slippery bastard’s still alive?”

“Despite our best efforts,” I muttered. “He nearly got the salarian councilor. Thane died fending him off.”

“Thane?” Miranda shook her head. “Pity.”

“Yeah,” I said. A short silence passed between us. “This complicates things,” she said, finally. “I’ll be on my guard.” She looked at the bag down at my feet, asked, “Who’s that for? Joker?”

“No,” I sighed, wearily. “Long story short, we broke up.”

“Oh,” said Miranda. “Well, not like I wasn’t expecting that. I could tell it wasn’t going to last.”

 _Ouch, cheerleader._ I couldn’t find it in myself to be too irritated at her- so far, her assumptions were proving correct. “No,” I said, nudging the bag. “This is for my little sister.”

She blinked at me. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Yeah,” I snorted, “Neither did I. We were doing a pick-up mission on Eden Prime about two months back and we found her there. She’d been hiding from Cerberus goons there for three days. Anyway, turns out that she and I have the same father. She’s having a baby, at any rate. This is for her baby shower, which I’ve been roped into.” I looked up at back to her, raised my eyebrows. “What did you need?”

“I couldn’t meet you in person,” she said, “It’s too dangerous there right now. But I’ve been chasing after my sister for months now. I can definitely tell my father’s behind it.” she folded her arms, frowning, troubled. “I don’t know what it is he’s doing. You know how he’s obsessed with leaving a dynasty? Making his lasting mark on the world?”

“Yeah?”

“Well…I know that whatever he’s up to, it can’t be good. I feel like the Illusive Man might have cut him a deal…” she shook her head. “He’s doing something. Something big. I don’t know what it is, but I’m going to find out.”

“You’ll be careful?” I asked.

“You know I can’t promise that,” she said, her eyes narrowing at me.

I chuckled slightly. “Yeah, I know. Just…watch your step, okay? And keep passing stuff along the grapevine.”

She looked at me suddenly. “I almost forgot,” she said, pulling up her omni-tool. “I’d heard that there was an ex-Cerberus team hiding out at these coordinates.” The terminal pinged suddenly, with said coordinates. “They might be valuable to you in building the Crucible.”

I scanned the coordinates and brought them up myself- they pointed to a small ice planet in the Minos Wasteland, the system Arrae- Gellix.

“One more thing,” she said, gravely. “I…I’d heard that Jacob was there.”

I looked up to her, caught her eyes, and nodded. “I’ll bring it to the commander.”

She nodded. “I have a lot of assassins after me. I need to stay low- you may not hear from me for a while.”

“Do what you need to do,” I said. “Don’t hesitate to come here for help.”

She nodded. “Watch your step, Glenn,” she said, and her image dissolved.

I looked at the coordinates, and tapped out a note to Charlie; copying John. Charlie was about as likely to answer messages these days as a vorcha was to write a doctoral dissertation; and even less so to actually make mission plans.

The lift took me next to the refugee docks- and true to thought, I found Cortez standing before the memorial wall, datapad in hand- I walked down to him, patted him on the shoulder, held his eyes when he looked at me. He nodded, wordlessly, just looked at the datapad and pressed play.

_I love you, but I know you. Don’t make me an anchor, promise me, Steve._

“Goodbye, Robert,” Steve said, quietly- I watched him step up, and place the datapad on the shelf under the wall. I moved up behind him; put a hand on his back.

“Thanks,” he said, finally. “For being here.”

When I returned to the _Normandy,_ John found me in my room as I wrapped the present for Rhaella, new book sitting on the shelf with the others. “Hey, LC. Door’s open. I mean, you did open it. What’s up?”

“I ran the coordinates you picked up with Charlie. Perked up a bit when I mentioned Jacob.”

I gave him a sideways look. “So we’re out to Gellix next?”

“Presumably.” He nodded.

I lifted an eye to him. “How’s Alenko settling in?”

“He’s all right,” John nodded rapidly, “He’s all right. Doing fine. Yeah.”

I raised an eyebrow.

John sighed, fiddling with his hands in front of him. “He asked me if I wanted to go to dinner tonight. I…we talked a lot, while he was in the hospital. And since then, I think…I think we’re gonna fix things.”

I blinked at him, then made an effort to smile. “Good for you,” I said, looking back to my wrap-job. “Good for the whole damn crew; I think I heard Javik complaining about your pheromones…can’t blame the man- er, prothean- the whole damn ship smells like horny.”

John didn’t make any reply to that- again, meant someone was getting used to me- “You and Joker?” he asked, finally. “Any progress with you?”

I grimaced. “Well…for a while, it was going well. And then…and then I slept with him after Tuchanka and somehow everything is fucked up again.”

John sighed. “That bad, huh?”

“Yep,” I murmured, making the ‘p’ pop.

He stood there for a moment, fussing with the sleeve of his leather jacket. “For what it’s worth,” he said, “I’m sorry for joking about it earlier. And…I’m rooting for you two. We all are.”

He turned, and he left me alone with that knowledge.

A few minutes later, the present was wrapped as best as I could manage it (messily, but with love, and that’s what counts, right?) Still, there were a few more hours before the scheduled time of the “shower of children” (Javik’s words, not mine: “Do not try to fool me, stupid primitive. I know how your people reproduce, and it is _not_ by spores.” “No, it’s not meant literally. It’s a party; where the mom-to-be and all her friends celebrate and give her gifts.” “In my cycle, mothers were not deemed worthy until they had birthed a strong child. A baby had to earn his name, by passing the first challenge: surviving birth.” “Uh-huh, let me guess…fifteen miles in the snow, uphill both ways, barefoot?” “You mean you primitives have not found out how to exert control over the climate?”) and I decided to go ashore again, this time headed for Purgatory. To my surprise, I found Steve Cortez for the third time that day, standing at the bar, looking, dare I say- bright?

When he caught my eye, he grinned, and beckoned me over. “Glenn! Hey. Let me buy you a drink.”

I leaned on the bar, propping my hip. “Never one to turn down a free drink, but…this is a change.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “A good one, yeah. But…”

“I…I feel a lot better,” he said, shrugging, as my drink was set down on the counter. I picked it up and sipped at it. “I see what you meant now, and…I’m ready. We don’t have a lot of time left, and we can’t spend what little we’ve got dwelling on the past. Not one moment for granted.”

I set my drink down, nodded. “Amen.”

He half-smiled at me. “I never would’ve gotten here without you.”

I shrugged. “Ah…”

He held up his glass, not allowing me to argue. “A toast. To you and I.”

“Friends?” I quipped, raising mine also.

“Friends,” he agreed, tapped our glasses together. We both knocked down our drinks, and as the fire wormed its way down my chest, I jerked my head out at the floor. “Hey, c’mon. Let’s dance.”

“Sure?” he laughed, as he followed me out. We started moving to the energetic beat- an odd calm overtook me, much like the old days on Omega. I could feel my body starting to twist sinuously to the bass; a natural sort of fluidity, counterpointed by the staccato of my arms to the upbeat.

“Wow,” Steve finally remarked. “And I’d be the last one to notice; but you can dance a bit, XO.”

“Watch and learn,” I declared, and really cut loose. After a few moments, I noticed someone giving me a very smoky look- I threw in a little twist just for her, and stopped to look a little closer- halting when I recognized the face.

“Never thought I’d see you here,” I remarked, “What brings you out of Afterlife?”

“Cerberus,” she said, moving fluidly with me. “I heard you were around. Came looking.”

“What’s your angle?” I asked her.

“Be on the lookout for anything of _interest,_ ” she said, leaning back and establishing a grind that removed any onlooker suspicion about her mouth right next to my ear. “I’m only missing a few things to take back my throne. I know you knock heads with them regularly- bring me something back, and I’ll have something for you in return.”

“I’ll keep an eye out,” I promised, and suddenly she lifted seamlessly from me, smirking, said, “Don’t disappoint me. You haven’t before.” And then, she was dancing easily away. When I found Cortez again, he cocked an eyebrow, asked me, “Making friends, Commander?”

“More like meeting old ones,” I said, leering, and that was the last word on the subject.

It was late night when I came back from the club- just enough time to swing by my quarters, pick up the present, and take the lift down to the subdecks.

When I got down, I found a table set up, draped in a festive cover (with balloons) – sitting by the door, I found a very disgruntled Ken Donnelly- he was propped up on a stool, his arms folded tight across his chest. I looked him up and down, then flicked the pom-pom on his party hat. “What’s happened to you, eh?”

Kenneth scowled, and blew on his noisemaker.

“Creative use of censorship,” I said, and moved inside with a nod.

“Hey, you made it!” Gabby took my elbow, and tugged me inside. “Welcome, take a seat!” I was pushed down into a seat by Traynor, next to Rhaella- sitting down at the head of the table, and Liara, who was beside our ship’s resident grump.

“Javik, you’re gonna party with us?” I questioned, leaning around the Shadow Broker to ask the question.

“The commotion was disturbing me in my quarters,” he replied, crossing his arms and scowling. “Besides. I am curious about your primitive celebration of…‘baby showers.’”

I nodded slowly, settling back into my seat. “So how’s the woman of the hour?” I turned to Rhaella, in the seat of honor with appropriate party hat.

“We’re still waiting on the boys,” she shared. “Steve and James said they had something big to haul up here from the shuttle bay-”

“Oh, you know they’re all doing the military jargon chest-pounding,” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. “Shots up in port lounge. Toast to the father-to-be. No doubt Major Canada’s got lager hidden in some secret compartment on this ship.”

Rhaella frowned at me. “They wouldn’t do _that_.”

“They _always_ do that,” I retorted, with a scoff. “No doubt that’s why Ken’s all pissy; because he’s missing out on the alcohol to drink mocktinis down here with us girls.”

Ken blew his noisemaker at me. “Yeah, yeah,” I waved a hand, shaking my head.

Rhaella looked at her drink. “I actually think it’s apple juice.”

I shrugged. “And I’ll have a hard scotch, please.”

Ken sighed longingly. I turned to Liara, grinning, affording a brief look at the stoic Javik. “So. Anybody else except for the shuttle monkeys?”

“EDI extended her congratulations and elected to watch from the cockpit,” Liara said.

I nodded, rolling my eyes toward the ceiling. “Yeah, figures.”

Liara frowned (thoroughly accustomed to my behavior, enough so to recognize my ticks.) “Is there something wrong?”

“I’m not talking about it here,” I told her, sitting back up and leaning on the table. “She’s always listening in. Be rude. Besides. We’re all having fun here, right?”

Rhaella glanced at her apple juice, and shrugged.

It was in this moment that the doors opened, and James Vega’s brick wall of a back emerged into engineering, shimmying backwards, directing: “No, Esteban, to the left- your _other_ left…yeah, now through the door.” The two men shuffled inside, and turned sideways to deposit their rather large parcel in the pile.

“Sit down,” I said to them, “Make yourselves comfortable. Have an apple juice.” I drank out of mine as an example, setting it down. Ken had moved to a seat across from me, noisemaker still in place.

“So,” Gabby was almost bouncing, gesturing at the pile of baby presents. “Which one do you want first?”

Rhaella sighed, shrugged. “I’ll bite,” she said, with a smile. “What’s the big one?”

James and Steve, still standing beside their parcel, exchanged a look. “You’re going to love this,” he promised. I made my _wanna bet_ noise and exchanged a look with Ken, knocking back more apple juice.

He and Steve pulled the cover off; and my eyebrows (along with everyone else’s in the room) shot up to my hairline.

“Perhaps there is more to this primitive custom than I judged,” Javik said, approvingly.

Putting a finger up, I spoke. “As consulting aunt, I’d like you to enlighten me…is that a bomb?”

James looked at the thing, rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, it was.”

“It’s defused,” Steve said flatly, clearly displaying the demeanor of someone dragged into something. “One hundred percent safe.”

“Cozy!” James added, turning it to show blankets. “See where I’m going with this?”

I blinked, and then sat back into my seat, content to observe. “All yours, mom.”

“You want our baby to sleep in a _bomb_?”

“A defused one,” he objected, grinning nervously. “Completely disengaged, almost hollow. Come on, it’ll fit right into the armory.”

“Quit digging, man,” Ken groaned, from the table, having abandoned his noisemaker for the apple juice. “Get much farther and you’ll end up in New Zealand.”

“The baby is _not_ sleeping in a bomb,” Rhaella said, gently, but firmly. “At least not until it’s four. We’ll…keep it on hand. Until then.”

James blinked, then he beamed. “Okay. ‘Til…it’s four. Got it!”

I looked between the two of them. “Ugh. You two can’t do any wrong by each other, can you?”

“I thought you were leaving your own relationship troubles at the door?” Liara asked me, innocently.

“Yeah, and the door’s right over there,” I pointed. “I can still _see_ them. Traynor, hit me up with another round.” The specialist passed the apple juice.

“Who next?” asked Gabby.

I put my hand up. “I’m going to stake aunt’s right and say-” I dropped the small box in front of Rhaella. “You’re opening mine now.”

Rhaella picked up the small box. “Okay.” She set to opening it.

“Funny story behind that one, found it at some old lady’s bookstore on the Citadel. I picked up a new one, actually, did a bit of digging, found out I’m actually related to this crackpot author from the twenty-first century. You are too, by the way.”

Rhaella looked up, frowning. “Really?”

“Yeah. Looked into her electronic records; by far the most entertaining thing was this blog. Hilarious; but you’d have to get a huge nerd to get everything.”

“Which means you got everything,” Liara said, with a small smirk.

“Exactly, I-” I stopped short, narrowing my eyes at her. “Look who’s talking, Prothi-nerd.” I looked around at Javik. “No offense.”

Javik offered no comment, just an apathetic six-nostriled sniff.

“Besides,” Liara finished, picking up her apple juice. “We all know Garrus is the biggest nerd on the _Normandy_.”

I nodded. “Yes. Yes he is.” We tapped our red plastic cups together, and drank a solemn toast to nerds.

And then, Rhaella made a surprised noise. “Oh, this is _beautiful_ ,” she exclaimed, pulling it delicately from the box.

I cleared my throat, feeling suddenly warm. “Yeah- the lady said it was a motherhood charm. You give that to your kid when they become a parent.”

Rhaella smiled, and put it on around her neck, but I could see an uneasy quality to her face, and I only asked later, when most everyone else had retired for the night. In fact, it was Javik himself who spoke next. “I would like to do something as well.”

We all looked, perhaps shocked, to him. He stood, and crossed over to Rhaella. He knelt in front of her, hovered hands on either side of her belly, closed his eyes, and began to glow fiercely green.

It was only a few moments before he stood. “I understand many humans do not wish to know their child before it is born. Do you?”

Rhaella and James looked at each other. “Tell us,” said Rhaella.

“It is a girl,” said Javik. He sat back down.

Gabby and Traynor had collaborated in the purchase of a few onesies, Liara had procured for her a contemplative book on motherhood ( _way_ deep, Liara), and even Ken had come up with a cake that read (and I quote) “Congrats on the Sex” (probably my favorite of the bunch.) In fact, I nearly forgot Rhaella’s troubled face until the party wound down, and we ourselves had migrated to port observation- I finally had my hard scotch, and she had another cup of apple juice in hand, equipped with a bendy straw.

“You looked kinda…I don’t know, troubled, earlier,” I said, looking to her at the other end of the couch. “Anything you want to talk about?”

Rhaella frowned, and she was quiet a long time before she answered. “What you said. About giving it to my kid…daughter, when she has her first kid. I don’t even know if she’ll ever have kids. If I’ll even get to have _her_.” She shook her head. “We’re fighting giant machines from outside the galaxy. Should I be afraid of them, or, in awe of them? Anything so old, so powerful…” she trailed off.

I blinked, looking out the window to the stars outside. “Yeah, they’ve been around a while,” I conceded, looking back to her. “So were the turians, and we gave them a boot in the ass.”

Rhaella giggled into her apple juice. “We’re gonna need a bigger boot.”

“We’ll figure something out,” I assured her. “We have to. The galaxy isn’t gonna save itself, you know.”

She smiled, we lapsed into silence again.

“Well, whatever… _how_ ever this ends,” Rhaella said, looking to me with a small smile, I’m glad you’re here.”

I blinked, looked out the window.

“Me too, kid,” I said, finally. “Me too.”


	17. Suicidal Gestures (A Matter in Which the SSV Normandy’s Crew is Highly Versed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, readers. As you might have noticed by the chapter count up above, this is the last chapter of A Matter of Pride- never fear, though, as this is only Act I. With school coming soon I decided to give the primary arcs of the first half of ME3 closure, and to break them up with Omega, after which ME3 will resume in full swing.
> 
> As always, it belongs to Bioware. Comments are love, and happy reading!
> 
> PS: Glenn's new outfit for Act II: [Glenn- Officer's Uniform](http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/239/8/0/glenn__mass_effect_3_officer_s_uniform_by_vigilante_archangel-d6jyix0.png)

We were underway to the Arrae system by the next morning, and I found myself pacing the command deck with a datapad in hand, scrolling through front line damage and casualty reports, the numbers flying right over my head as soon as my eyes passed them by. I was too preoccupied, with a great many things- worries for our commanding officer, lingering trouble with Jeff, Aria’s words back in Purgatory. Cerberus had Omega now, and letting that kind of foothold persevere was risky at best, a _coup de grâce_ at the worst. Still, holding the datapad and looking intently at it kept me looking busy, which kept people off of me. I wouldn’t be help at any rate, in my current state, feeling like my mind was about to blow out my eyebrows.

It was then that the lift doors opened, and the irrefutable sounds of arguing reached me. “-I’m not telling you to leave, I’m telling you I need space!”

“Which is the same as telling me to leave!” I looked up with a cocked eyebrow as one James Vega stormed out of the elevator, Rhaella trailing after him looking like a tiny typhoon, her face red and her fists balled by her sides, pregnancy just barely beginning to show (only those that knew it was there would notice it.)

“You’re in the same place as me all day; I’m not allowed to get any time for myself?” James retorted, as he stopped and looked at her.

“How do you think I feel when you flirt with every girl in sight? _Lola_? Do you call _all_ of your commanding officers that?”

“That’s just my way, I don’t mean anything by- hey, that’s beside the point.” He turned, and punched in the code for the war room. “Look, I’m going to take a few. We can talk about this when I get back.” He stepped into the scanner.

“We will _not_ put this off!” snapped Rhaella (and oh, was that ever a Glenn trait if I heard one.) “We will- James Vega, you come back here! Come _back_ here! _Right now_!” the door closed, and she stood there fuming before storming back to the lift and taking her leave.

“Kids,” I said, at the same time someone else did, and turned to my left to see Jeff, standing aft of the CIC. I giggled slightly, nervously, said, “Didn’t see you there.”

He shifted closer, leaning on the back rail with me. “I can’t claim a quiet approach, but the events in the surrounding area were certainly louder.” A slight smile. “You look like you’re trying to puzzle through things.”

I frowned at him. “How’d you get that?”

He shrugged. “I know you.”

I sighed, putting the datapad down on the counter I’d gotten it from. “EDI at the helm?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “She wanted to drive us to Gellix. _I_ think she just wanted me out for a few hours, but I won’t look a gift mech in the mouth.” He frowned at me again, and then said: “You sure you’re okay? I mean, you look like you’re mulling over something bigger than normal.” His hand stretched out, fingertips tentatively brushing across my forearm. “You want to talk?”

I avoided his eyes, blinked. “Not here,” I said, finally, taking his hand and leading him to the lift. We stood there as it carried us down one level, opening to the crew decks. I took a look at the memorial wall in passing, specifically the name plates reading MORDIN SOLUS and THANE KRIOS. Only a brief look, though, because then I took him by the hand and led him forward, to the right, to the life support room. As we entered the arid space, I turned and locked the console behind us, the door flashing red to confirm.

I looked back to Jeff, as he turned about to investigate the place.

“I wanted to be sure we would be alone,” I said, walking slowly along the wall Thane used to store his guns, laid out and oiled meticulously to perfect condition. They were gone now; the only remainders of his presence in the small table and the cot pushed against the wall (it would have been out of use since he’d moved in with Charlie and subsequently moved out), and the mug sitting alone on the tabletop (figures, though, it was probably Charlie’s, from more recently sitting here.)

I continued to pace, and Jeff sat down (whether consciously or unconsciously, in the chair that was not Thane’s chair), said, “What’s going on?” he snagged my hand on my next passing, and squeezed it when I looked down to him. “Come on, babe. Talk to me.”

The nickname (stupid as it was) softened me. “I…” reluctantly, I sat down in Thane’s chair. “When I was on the Citadel, Aria T’Loak…approached me. Cerberus has Omega and she wants to take it back. She asked for intel to help her, but it’s…it’s made me think. I haven’t been there since I left over a year ago. There are…a lot of things that happened there, and I haven’t faced them all. You could say there are…ghosts.”

There was a silence between us.

“I think she wants me to lead the campaign with her,” I said.

“She didn’t say that, though.” Jeff frowned at me.

“She’s working up to it.” I frowned. “And I’m not entirely sure I want to refuse her.”

Jeff folded his arms under him on the table, chewing on his lip, mulling over my words. Finally, he spoke. “I think you should.”

I looked at him, blankly. “You…think I should go.”

He nodded at me. “You’ve got history there that you haven’t resolved, Glenn. I’ve seen it myself, it still weighs on you. Not all the time, but sometimes you get all…quiet, and introspective, and…I mean, you don’t look happy when that happens, and I don’t like seeing you unhappy…” he sighed, leaned across the table, took my hands. “If this helps you get to the end of things, then you should go there.” He laced our fingers together, squeezed, and said softly, “Whatever you do, you know I’ll be behind you. A hundred percent.”

I smiled slightly, looked at our hands and flushed slightly.

And then, over the intercoms, a soft tune started up. Jeff and I broke apart like the plague had come between us, and we looked jerkily everywhere but at each other, huffing, rubbing the backs of our necks, babbling at each other. “EDI,” Joker sighed, head rolling up to the ceiling. There was no reply but for a gradual crescendo of the music, which had him sighing tempestuously, and me trying hard not to giggle too loud.

I slid my hand across the table, took his again, said quietly, “Dance with me.”

“What, are you crazy?” but he was standing up with me. “You like the sound of snapping shinbones?”

We stopped, looked at each other, and then it just…fell into place. His arms slipped around me, holding me just right, pulling me close until he could rest his hand on my hip and take the other. Mine lingered on his cheek before sitting on his shoulder, and then we just started to sway. For a while, that was all, but he dipped me suddenly, and when I came back up he tucked his head by my ear. “I’ve missed you,” he mumbled.

A few moments passed, I dipped my head a little to bury my nose in the side of his head.

“I just…I look at you, and I can’t believe…” he stopped off, sighed, held me a little tighter against him, as we swayed through life support. “I look at you and it’s like a window into the stars. You’re a goddess among men. I…I don’t believe in that kind of thing, but you’re so much more than anyone else I’ve ever met.” He pulled back to look at me, ran his fingers across my cheek. “Mordin, Thane…they would be proud,” he said. “I know that I am.”

I pressed forward, and kissed him, but it wasn’t like those times from before. It had been a burning, overwhelming urge in the middle of my chest, like if I didn’t get it out my heart would burst, and this ache in my ribs would become a permanent one. We kissed, but it was chaste, just a soft press of lips, just firm enough to convince us, not a dream. Gentle, but it left a burning brand on me, and that was when I knew that all was over. Only Jeff Moreau, my Jeff Moreau, could come up with a simpler, more eloquent way to say “I love you.”

I broke the kiss, leaned my forehead against his, closed my eyes briefly against the tears. “I’m done hiding what I feel for you, Jeff,” I said, hushed. “I don’t want to.” He leaned back against me, one arm still around me, one hand twining with mine. A moment passed, I simply stood there for a few blissful moments, whispered at last, “I was lost without you.”

His head shifted against mine, he let go of my hand, came up to rub at the tear coming down my cheek. “Hey, none of that.” He turned to cup my face, and kissed me again. “I can’t promise what’ll happen out there, but if you need something…anything. You come to me.” he squeezed my hand, held my eyes. “I love you.”

 _If you can’t trust anything else, trust this, trust us._ I closed my eyes and held him.

A long pause.

“And if Aria T’Loak even looks at you the wrong way,” he said, “I’m going to get her, asari crime lord or not.”

I spluttered out a laugh. “What?”

“I mean, Cortez told me about…” he sighed, “Damn, this sounded a lot better in my head.”

“You’re trying to say this isn’t an open relationship?” I stepped back, cocking an eyebrow.

He frowned. “Well, no. I mean…well. I’m so damned happy you’d even look at me after all the shit that’s happened. And before…well, that was great, what we had before. Where you’d kiss me before every mission and I’d watch you ground side to make sure you were safe…I told EDI to keep you safe, actually. I hope that’s not creepy. It sounds creepy the way I just put it.” he shook his head. “Anyway, that was great, but…” he took my hands, squeezed them. “But…this time, I want to do it right.”

I blinked. “What’s ‘right’?”

“Uh…” he floundered. “Well, spending a lot of time together. Touching. Lots of touching. Like…so much touching other people would call it handsy. But, um. I'm kind of starved for any kind of human contact. Thought maybe you were too. I might just be projecting.” He paused, but I just smiled, squeezed his hands, a silent gesture for _go on._ “Y’know. Long walks in the park. Honesty. Respect. So much respect. But we can still laugh at each other. But mostly other people, because we’re the smartest ones in the room.”

I laughed a little, and he grinned, a crooked boyish smile of glee, like the kid who’d succeeded in making his crush laugh. “Cuddles. Making dinner and heckling terrible movies. A shit-ton of cuddles. Holding hands, arms, whatever. Gross pet names that we pretend to hate.” He smiled, went on, soft, loving. “Telling you I love you all the time. Every minute, until you believe me. And when you do, I’ll keep saying it anyway. Kissing you, all the damn time.” His brow furrowed, he added, almost as an afterthought, getting that determined face I had seen before he had first kissed me. “And sex. A whole lot of sex, anytime we want it. I’m leaving the helm to my copilot and taking you to bed; that's a promise.”

“Whoa, there, helmsman,” I chuckled. “Don’t forget I’m wearing officer's bars now. We’ve got regs to follow.”

“Screw the regs.” His eyebrows did the adorable furrow thing. “I hope you didn't intend for me to keep quiet about this. I’m going to be telling everyone at breakfast about the insane luck I have, being with you.” He paused, momentarily, standing up straighter. “Unless you’re really worried about the regs. In which case I’m so sorry and I’ll maintain professionalism in the workplace. Ma’am.”

“Oh, god no, stop that,” I swatted him in the arm. “I was being completely sarcastic. Hackett was such a tool, the way he said that. Besides, I ran my paperwork. I’m not even a serviceman, I'm a civilian consultant with a fancy uniform. And frankly, I could not give less of a shit.”

“So does this mean I can goose you in the mess?” he bit eagerly on his lip, eyes shining with glee. “Please?”

“You can try,” I told him, lowering my eyelids and smirking. “I warn that I give as good as I get.”

He gnawed a bit more on his lip, biting back a grin. “I sure hope so.”

I gave him a fond smile, brows lightly furrowing, hands skimming down his sides. “I hope you know that you’ve set an impossible standard as it goes for relationships. And the definition of doing it right. As it goes I don’t even feel the remote desire to bone Aria T’Loak.”

His hands went to my hips, pulling them flush to his. “I’d…hoped I was doing okay. I couldn’t decide if my grand relationship scheme had you completely enamored or trying really hard not to laugh.”

I grinned, tongue poking through my teeth, nosing in close to him. “You’re such a dweeb,” I said, kissing him deeply, tongue tangling with his, reacquainting myself with the taste of him, and there was a definite heat between us (and some other things) when I pulled back, murmured, “I love you.”

He smiled, leaned in to kiss me again, hand darting up my side to cop a feel at my corset when EDI came in over the intercom. “ _Glenn. Paxton has requested that I relay to you- much loath as she is to stop things that are very overdue, ‘quit fooling around and get your ass down to the shuttle bay.’ We are approaching Gellix._ ”

Joker sighed heavily, taking his hand away. “Every time…”

“We’ll get there,” I promised him, squeezing his butt and starting to walk away. “Wait for me after the debriefs.” I left life support, headed out for the lift. As I pressed the button and waited for it to arrive, I stepped over to the memorial wall, traced a hand over the two names, and smiled.

The lift took me down to the armory- where I then suited up with the others and loaded into the shuttle with my shotgun at hand. Charlie was last in, looking distant, her new norm. I caught Paxton and Garrus exchanging looks with each other; John and Alenko doing the same. Liara was frowning slightly- the silence was nearly oppressive.

Suddenly, Javik sighed. He _looked_ grouchy as ever, but the sound was almost- _relieved_. “Your pheromones have relaxed, Lieutenant-Commander. I trust that you and the…Joker-pilot have…resolved your disagreements.”

Paxton spoke before I could answer, all too eager to chase the conversation, away from the silence. “ _Finally_. It’s about time they got that ironed out.” she gave a narrow-eyed stare to her side, at Garrus. “I blame _you_ for losing me the bet that it’d take John and Kaidan longer to get back together.”

Garrus flicked a mandible in her direction. “No, see, that was my killer instinct at work. John and Kaidan were together longer before; even though they were broken up longer they had a more stable foundation. Glenn and Joker effectively needed to reconstruct their relationship in a non-suicide mission setting…which would undeniably take longer.”

The rest of the shuttle was left reeling. “That’s…observant, Garrus,” said Liara, finally.

He shrugged. “I _am_ the sniper, you know.”

“ _One_ of the snip _ers_ ,” Paxton corrected, nudging him in the side. The two smiled (Garrus doing the weird mandible-flappy thingy that constituted a turian smile), and then returned their eyes to the rest of the squad. Kaidan shifted around, looking side to side. “I almost don’t want to ask…was our private life under this much scrutiny on the first _Normandy_?”

“This is the nosiest frigate in the fleet, Major Canada,” I informed him, drily. “Be lucky that the rest of the dirty dozen aren’t here, or we’d have high-def movies, a blog, and extensive reports on top of everything.”

“You and Joker are back together?” Charlie’s subdued question made us all hush up- I waited for someone else to jump in again, and then I blinked and answered myself: “Uh…yeah. Yeah, we are.”

“ _That’s_ an understatement,” chuckled Paxton. I gave her a look, before the shuttle rocked suddenly, and Steve broke in- “Hate to break into the church gossip and all, but the LZ’s covered in Cerberus. Just a heads-up- I’ll take you in as close as I can.”

John moved to the front, hoisting his assault rifle with one hand steadying on the overhead loops. “Get ready.”

The door slid open- John leapt out, and ran gunning to the nearest cover. I charged out after him, striking a crowd of Cerberus troopers and sending the outliers flying- I turned my shotgun on the rest, and the squad went down quick, though it was following another charge that I finally noticed our quarry- people in the old Cerberus fatigues were hiding behind crates, firing bootleg assault rifles at their attackers. One woman leaned out of cover and was caught by a lucky Cerberus shot- someone rushed from the other side, a blur as he fired his assault rifle out toward the troopers. He knelt to drag her body behind the crates, was shot as he did so, staggering back with a groan.

“ _I believe that was Jacob,_ ” EDI stressed, over our comms, and I shot out the final troopers to clear the landing pad, and allow the team to regroup around my center position.

“Shepard, over here!” came a familiar voice, from behind the crates.

It seemed to stir Charlie- determined, she hurried around the cover, and got down on her knees in front of the one survivor. “Jacob.” Just his name, before Paxton knelt with an application of medi-gel ready.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned us, eyes darting to and fro across the ranks of the ones he knew.

“Could ask you the same thing, what are _you_ doing _here_?” I cut in, eyeballing the horizon for any signs of reinforcements. Undoubtedly, there would be another wave.

John helped him to his feet. “I can talk to you inside,” he said. “Let’s get out of the cold.”

We followed him inside, as he limped into the base and locked the door behind us. Once he had done so, he turned back, hand still pressed to his side where the slug had hit, and winced before speaking. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”

“Good to see you’re staying out of trouble,” Garrus quipped.

Jacob chuckled, somewhat darkly, wincing again and holding his side. That was before a small woman hurried onto the scene. “Jacob?”she asked, and then moved forward to look at him. “Who are these people?”

“This is Commander Shepard,” he told her, gesturing. “Paxton and John Shepard, siblings. Garrus Vakarian, Glenn…” he trailed off, eyeing the rest.

“James Vega, Kaidan Alenko, Javik, Liara T’Soni, EDI,” Charlie spoke, with startling clarity, pointing out the rest.

“EDI?” Jacob looked to the mech, with mild surprise. EDI employed her favorite socialization protocol- Smile and Nod- and Jacob nodded cautiously back before looking to the woman. “I ran with a few of them before.”

The woman looked to Charlie, moved up and shook her hand. “Good to meet you, Commander Shepard. You’re a sight for sore eyes. And certainly welcome here. I’m Dr. Brynn Cole, I…guess you could say I’m leading this group.” She stepped back, wringing her hands.

“We defected from Cerberus a few months ago,” Jacob shared. “His projects were getting a little sketchy- and then the researchers started disappearing. So we took all we could carry, destroyed what we couldn’t.”

“I hope you kicked Cerberus in the balls on your way out,” John declared, with a sideways smirk.

Charlie looked around. “But you’re under attack now.”

Brynn nodded. “We thought we were hidden, but…I guess the Illusive Man found us. We had handles on all his operations, but he must have known that we were watching and fed misinformation about our hideout.”

“Either that, or he sent a strike team as soon as he figured out where we were,” Jacob put in, scowling.

I put a finger up. “Wait a moment. Did you say you had operations logs?”

Brynn paused, nodding. “We still have access codes. They tried to lock us out of the network, but we have workarounds for now, and intel logs that we’ve saved.”

I looked to the squad, gathered behind me, and then back to Brynn, crossing my arms. “We can get you out of here, but I’ll need all of that. Your access codes, your logs, everything.”

“I thought you would say that,” said Brynn, nodding and looking to her feet. “We’ll submit all of that to Alliance Command when we-”

“No,” I cut her off. “None of it goes to Command. I want it all relayed directly to me.”

“Glenn.” I looked sideways to Charlie, and she was glaring at me suddenly- in all of her sharpness, like she was just now resurfacing from the fog that had obscured her. Commander Shepard was back.

“I’ll brief you later, Charles, but this is important.” I looked back to Jacob and Brynn. “Give us the down-low, Doc. How bad is it?”

She led us up the stairs, deeper into the base. “We have shuttles ready to go. The only problem is the aircraft out there- they’d shoot us down before we ever made it out. And the AA guns on the roof are jammed. Someone’s going to have to get up there and repair them manually.”

“I’ll go up and do it,” Jacob volunteered, even as he limped and clutched his side.

“You’re hurt, Jacob, the only place you’re going is the infirmary,” Charlie asserted.

“I-” he started, but Charlie shot him a look, the exact same one that had come on the heels of him putting his hand up for the maintenance shaft in the Collector base. “All right,” he said, and that was the end of that.

“I’ll get up and fix them; I’ll only need a few to come with me.” Charlie turned, and narrowed her eyes amongst the team. “EDI, Javik, Garrus, John, Liara, I want you with me. The rest of you- stay down here, and coordinate the shuttles. This’ll need to be a quick bug-out, understood?”

The rest of us nodded. “Aye-aye.”

Charlie nodded curtly back at us. “XO,” she said, “You’re in charge of the rest until I get back.”

“Hold the line, skipper,” I acknowledged, and she and her group broke off and headed out towards the ladder up to the roof.

“She seems like she’s coming back,” Kaidan remarked, as we continued.

“It does, doesn’t it?” I mused, watching her go. “Seems I only had to piss her off once before she remembered what it is to be in this command. Putting down my attempts at insubordination and staring threateningly at people who are bad.” I cocked a sideways smile, shaking my head.

“She didn’t seem the same after Thane died,” he said, quieter.

I stopped in my tracks- he almost bumped into me, and I turned around to look at him. “You knew Thane?”

He nodded. “I did. He…kept an eye on me, while I was in the hospital. Kept me company when I was crawling the walls. He listened to me. Actually helped me through a lot of my, ah, relationship issues. And I listened to him, too. He mentioned you a lot, you and the commander. I…had a lot of respect for him. Sad to hear he passed.”

I stared at him a minute longer- he cleared his throat, shifted to his other foot, asked, “Anything…wrong, XO?”

“No, no,” I started, turning back to the side, blinking and shaking my head slightly. “I just…you’re all right, Canada.” Before he could make any notions of replying, I walked farther along the balcony, catching up with James halfway through and stopping when I realized Paxton was talking to a man at a terminal. “He’s safe.” She said that, but she had a dark scowl on her face. “Grissom was evacuated; he got out with the rest.”

The man sighed. “I…must thank you, then, Shepard. Thank you for saving my brother.” He nodded slightly. “Both times.”

Paxton stepped back. “I have to go,” she said, coldly, “And I’m not even going to _pretend_ it was good to see you again.” She turned away, and left the man at his workstation.

I strode rapidly after her. “Excuse me,” I said, to Kaidan, and caught up to Pax. “Who was that?”

“Gavin Archer,” she said. “Person in charge of the Overlord fiasco. He was worried about his brother…” she sighed. “Tempted to let him worry.”

A long silence, and then she shook her head. “Can you go check on Jacob? I’ll start getting the shuttles organized.”

“Sure, will do,” I said, and peeled off to head for the med bay. I waited outside, watching as the doctor applied medigel to the wound, and waited for the hissing to subside before I scooted inside and stopped in front of my old teammate, crossing my arms. “So. Jacob Taylor. I’d pegged it as a matter of time before you jumped ship.” I sat down, on a crate across from him.

“Yeah?” he winced, as the bandages went on. “Well, you are an- _ngh._ Information- _ngh_ \- broker. Your job to- _ngh_. Be informed.”

I shrugged. “Maybe old habits die hard.” When he frowned at me, I sat back on my crate, dropped one leg over the other and folded my arms. “I’ve left the business. I suppose that’s inaccurate; I’ve left my _own_ business. Officially, I’m an Alliance diplomatic relations agent. And the new XO of the _Normandy._ ” I shrugged. _Agent of the Shadow Broker, but if I told you that I’d have to kill you._ “Also, I kill Reapers on the side.”

Jacob rolled his shoulders to adjust the bandages. “All right.” He sighed. “What’s your game with the intel, then?”

“Classified,” I said, shortly. “Private business, actually. I haven’t discussed it with anyone.”

“Not even Joker?” he asked, getting carefully to his feet, bending to retrieve his shirt. “If he’s still aboard. Reports said he was.”

I stood as well, blinking, his height easily with my heels on, almost more. “Yes,” I said, soft, and then there was nothing more. Jacob and I had talked little aboard the _Normandy;_ to me he was the rigid soldier clinging to his morals, to him I must have been a lawless hurricane, playing judge, jury, and executioner, destroying all in her path. Perhaps, in a way, we had traded places. But still, the unbreakable bond of the Collector base was instilled in us, and it made me ask, “You and Dr. Cole.”

He looked briefly to the side, back to me. “We’re together, Glenn. She’s having a baby.”

And there was my resolve.

I nodded, just once. “We’ll get you out of here, Taylor.” I turned out of the med bay, and moved back toward the others, gathered on the level below with the first of what looked to be three shuttles. I hopped the railing, much like Jack had at the academy, and floated considerably more gracefully down to the shuttle bay- just in time to see a pack of frightened ragamuffins and James Vega’s poor attempts at cheering them up.

“All right, all right- why are blonde jokes so short?”

“I don’t know,” I quipped, as I drew near, “Perhaps so that men can remember them.”

Alenko, who had been rolling his eyes at the line, snickered, and turned away to keep face.

Vega cleared his throat- shrugged, got to his feet. “Well, ah, so that took an unexpected turn.”

“Well, we wouldn’t have to, now, if you would just ask for directions.” Some of the older children in the crowd giggled, as did the surrounding personnel, and I took the time to shoot one placating look at Vega before moving up to the gaggle of young people.

“There are whole families here,” I murmured, half-statement and half-question. Alenko just nodded. “They’re loading the first shuttle with everyone under sixteen.”

I nodded, frowning at the crowd of dirty children. “Right.” I looked back to Paxton, approaching with a datapad and listening to her helmet. “Charlie’s team just fixed up the AA guns. They’re clearing out an escape route as we speak; we’ve gotta get those shuttles loaded up now.”

I grabbed the side of the first one. “Listen, you three get the last two loaded. I’ll escort this one.” I swung up inside, and helped some of the older ones up so they could bring up the little ones as well.

“ _Huesos_ ,” James started.

“Move it, Jim,” I said sharply, and he sighed off a half-bitten curse before moving back as I’d told him to.

“Is he your boyfriend?” one girl asked me.

“No,” I sighed. “He’s my sister’s boyfriend. At least I think so. Don’t _ever_ go for his type.” I rolled my eyes. “They’ll give you the standard full treatment; flowers, chocolate, promises they don’t intend to keep…and before you know it you end up with a bun in the oven and a nice cot in the middle of a shuttle bay. Is that everyone?”

One of the eldest, a boy, stood up and yelled, “ _HEAD COUNT_!”

The children went quiet, and filed suddenly into little rows. So perhaps Jacob’s standard-issue pole up the ass _had_ come in handy after all, because the boy only looked a second before looking back to me. “That’s everyone.”

“Nice. Who are you?” I moved to the front, and sat in the pilot’s seat, initializing the interface in front of me. I rolled my wrists, cracked my fingers, and set them to the controls, remembering suddenly how to fly it. Like falling off a bike; all you had to do was get back up again.

“Colin,” he told me, sliding into the copilot’s seat.

“Can you fly this thing, Colin?” I asked. “Rather, can you copilot?” _and take over should some horrendous explosion incinerate me where I sit,_ went unspoken- I figured that was bad for the children.

He nodded. “My dad’s been teaching me how.” He sat down, put his hands up, and activated the interface. He couldn’t have been more than nine or ten, but already I could recognize the hands of a kid who’d been born to fly- someone like my helmsman, someone whose fingers had not known completion until they had found an interface. Not some taught to fly; someone who just innately _knew_ how and had a yearning ache for the stars, and always would.

I nodded. “You’ve got an eye, kid. Open up the comms channel and wait for the signal.”

We were only a moment- then Jacob’s voice came through: “ _Shuttle one, get out there_!” I kick-started the propulsions, rolled my hand to the secondary takeoff bypass, and flicked us forward into the air. Brief proximity warnings flashed as we ripped by the Cerberus gunships, but the AA guns saw to them quickly, and then we were clearing the area, moving up and over into the atmosphere, and rendezvousing with the _Normandy_ before I knew it.

“Yeah!” Colin punched the air, as we left the burning wrecks of the enemy to plummet to the snowy surface of the planet. “How do you like that, _assbutts_?”

I blinked, looked sideways to Colin. “Where’d you hear that one?”

He shrugged, grinning sheepishly at me. “I made it up.”

Jeff cut in over intercom. “ _Aaaaand…shuttle one, we have a visual. Stand by for pickup._ ”

Colin stabilized us into readied position. As the bay doors opened up to receive us, I turned to my copilot, who had kept us stable, and had helped me get everyone out. “Your dad taught you well, kid.”

He grinned at me.

“You’ve got a gift, though,” I said, nodding. “That’s something that can’t be taught.”

Colin smiled wider. I paused, frowned minutely, and said, “But next time, try ‘asshat’.”

“ _We have all three shuttles retrieved. Pressurizing shuttle bay._ ”

I stood up, and opened the door once I heard the confirming _bing_ outside. And then I had to hold on to the side of the door, and wait for the flood of children to rush by me out to their parents- only then could I disembark. I ran a hand through my hair- sighed, tired, and took quick stock of my squad. All there. All safe, all fine- and Charlie, moving about like normal, like our old commander. Sigh again- things finally seemed to be falling into place- as much as they could in these crazy times, anyway.

I stepped down, and watched Colin rush off to his parents. Someone touched my shoulder, handed me an OSD when I turned. “Thank you,” I said, and pocketed it as I strode over to Charlie, who was bouncing a giggling baby for a photo.

“Good to have you back, skipper,” I said, softly by her ear when she had a break, and she turned to look at me.

She nodded, just nodded, and I paused only to strip out of my outer armor and creep up to the crew decks in my undersuit, proceed to the showers and change from there into my post-mission ‘do I look like I give a fuck’ gym shorts and blue tank, blazoned with the Alliance logo across the breast. I padded to the lift, giving a brief glance to the names on the memorial wall, and stood by as it lifted me to the CIC. I sighed, ran a hand through damp hair, and pressed the console for my door. I stepped inside, turned for the lights as it shut behind me.

I noticed Jeff when I turned back, lounging unabashedly on the couch I had shoved into the corner, arms out over the top, smirking like he was Aria fucking T’Loak or something. His fingers played briefly across the fabric as he took me in. “Hey.”

I blinked, then couldn’t resist smiling slightly, eyes darting side to side. “Hello…?”

He stood up, with only a bit of fumbling, and strode across to me, skirting the desk and taking my hands. “Hey, hey, just come here.” He led me back towards the bed, sat down first on the edge. I gave him a small smirk, got down with him, hovering just above his lap, braced on my knees.

“Where were we?” he murmured, tracing a hand up my side and letting it rest over the promising curve of one breast.

Hands lightly on his shoulders, I pushed him down to the mattress. There was little teasing, little foreplay involved; just a mad rush to get undressed somehow without breaking the heated kiss we’d gotten ourselves into- his hands went to my hips, holding them still while he ground hard into them, dipping his head into the crook of my neck and sucking obvious marks into the skin there- beard scratching further on the already-sensitive patches.

“Fuck you,” I ground out.

“I’m getting there, be patient,” he said, wiggling my shorts off.

“That’s going to show,” I said. He ignored me. I rolled him over, employing a seamless lift field to decrease my weight to a bearable degree for him. His eyes popped at the sudden tingling all over, and he said soft, “ _Whoa_.”

“That’s not my only new trick,” I promised him, finding his turgid, leaking erection and guiding it easily inside of me. We both vocalized the high points of _that_ sensation- him with a soft moan (fucking hell, I’d missed that moan), and me with a quiet sigh. I held that position for half a moment- braced over him with my head dropped between my arms- then I slowly began to move, up, down, lifting my head and locking eyes with him. I moved further forward on my elbows, until our chests were pressing together, our heartbeats thumping feverishly close to one another, separated only by fragile mortal skin and bone.

I traced my fingers lightly over his cheekbone- his mouth was hanging slightly open, his eyes going glassy- rubbed a thumb along the length of his jaw and sighed softly, closing my eyes briefly. When I opened them again, they were black.

There was a brief shock when he first felt me there, in his head- _oh shit, she can do this_? I smiled at him, and he managed to look even more floored- _wait, you can hear me. You can- oh, God, no, get out of here, you don’t want to know the half of it._ That only served to make me grin wider, nose into his neck and grind particularly thoroughly against him. The nervous babble turned into _oh shit, holy fuck, holy ever-loving fucking hell,_ though what came out in real life was more like a noise equated to a dying whale. I giggled into his neck, and felt the skin heating under my lips. _Shut up._ I giggled harder. _Come on, you’re totally catching me off my game here. Glenn-_

 _Jeff,_ I said- thought?- picking my head up to look him in the eyes, still smiling softly. _Relax._

And slowly, the stream of thoughts trailed off, and he just looked up and me and swallowed, while I laced our hands, and surged against him with renewed force. Between us- things that maybe didn’t translate between us, things like _jouissance_ and _l’esprit de l’escalier_ , _ber’ah_ , _siame, tu'fira._  They didn’t translate, but they did, and when we hit our peak we hit it like a feedback loop, the crests and troughs of it all rising and falling between us, coming and going, giving and taking, until at last it was over, until I retreated from his mind with the parting ponderance, _how does anyone ever do this without…this?_

Jeff had his eyes closed, breathing in deeply as I shifted onto my side, pulling him with me, hitching a leg up over his hip. I reached out, petted his face. “Jeff?” I asked, softly.

He opened his eyes, gave me a soft look, lips parting in a small smile.

“T’hy’la?” he said.

“Nerd,” I said, kissing him, and giggling with him as we burrowed together under the covers and fought over one pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SWEETJESUSTHEY'REFINALLYBACKTOGETHER.
> 
> Stay tuned for more...


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